Gotta (Not) Eat!: Doritos Loaded & Web Roundup

It started with seeing a random Facebook sponsored post announcing that Doritos Loaded would be available at a 7-11 in Hollywood for a 4 hour window one Saturday.  A week later, the 7-11 next door had posters plastered across the front windows proclaiming they were in stock.  Even the shelves were full of empty cases just waiting to be filled with hot, cheesy, Dorito shell goodness.  After all Taco Bell sold more than 1 BILLION Dorito Locos Tacos in 2012 alone and hired an additional 15,000 employees to keep up.  I found the Nacho Cheese version a little strong as you just felt like you were eating spices and chemicals.  The Cool Ranch variety introduced later was a little easier on the palate.  Would deep fried cheese surrounded by the same zesty, crunchy shell give 7-11 yet another staple on top of the Slurpee?  If my batch is any indication then the answer is a resounding NO.  Basically they're not crunchy and that same spice/salt/chemical overload from the Taco shell mixed with salty cheese just made this a very not exciting eating experience.  If you've ever had deep fried macaroni and cheese, Loaded Doritos has nothing on those little wedges of crispy, soft, cheesy goodness.

Speaking of Taco Bell, did you hear about F-18 Charlie Sheen being drunk in the drive through line and talking to people behind him?  Check out the great clip here.  Charlie Sheen is the best.  Some people talk shit about him but give the guy a break, you paid him millions to act like an exaggerated version of himself then acted shocked when he became that hilarious, truth speaking, over the top character.  Two and a Half Men was such a funny show when he was on board.  Now with Ashton Kutcher you realize how lame and potentially offensive it can come across without the proper delivery or truthfulness of the performance.  Between Red Dawn, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Platoon, Wall Street, Young Guns, Eight Men Out, Major League, NAVY SEALS, Men at Work, The Rookie and his turn as a machine gun toting, ass kicking president in Machete 2, Sheen will always be #winning here at Dammaged Goods.

And speaking of Not Eating, a list of foods Nutritionists won't eat caught my attention and included usual suspects like processed meat and cheese (preservatives), non-dairy creamer (nutritionally bankrupt), diet soda (increases sugar cravings), cereal and fat-free dairy (added sugar), bacon (high fat and salt content) and hot dogs (processed, high preservatives).  To that I kind of just say "fuck that", I ate a leftover Whopper from Burger King for breakfast the day after the doctor told me my physical and bloodwork stated I was in excellent health.  After years of fast food consumption I figured I would have high cholesterol, triglycerides or something something like the media is always screaming about.  Remember when Avocados were bad for you?  Now they're super food?  Or that time saturated fat and butter were the enemy but now people add a dollop of the rich stuff to coffee to make it "bulletproof"?  So what bad news did the doc hit me with?  None!  That's the power of eating relatively clean much of the time, training regularly and indulging a couple times a week.   Think about it, if you're working out and eating say 4-5 meals a day, that's 28-35 meals a week so if a few of them aren't so good for you, who cares?  As long as you're not eating fast food or take out at EVERY meal I think you'll be fine.  Most of the time I take buns off my sandwiches or add spinach to burgers to give it a little extra dose of nutrition and also to make myself feel better mentally.  Just as eating poorly is easy, eating healthy can be difficult but just takes some planning and getting used to.  I'd also love to see how many of these nutritionists are in any kind of shape because if there's one thing I hate is someone out of shape talking about being in shape.  That's called being a poseur.