Gotta Eat & Drank! Austin

I've been to Austin, the live music capital of the world, the weirdest spot in Texas, on and on, four times. Twice for work and twice for Tough Guy Cinema events at the Alamo Drafthouse. The lady went to school at the University of Texas so we took a few days to see the ever changing city, an entire day of Kurt Russell movies and walk the campus. Summed up, Austin is a weird spot, you've got a mish mash of big city high rises, outdoor food joints made up of trailers and picnic tables, new construction, historic neighborhoods and the like. While Culver City in Los Angeles faces restaurant-pocalypse due to an abundance of establishments and only so many customers, Austin is literally full of bars. Most of them serve queso, booze is cheap (two Jamesons for $14?!) and there's beards, bums and bachelorette parties galore.

We walked over to Easy Tiger and the Dirty Sixth area, home of lots of youngins and a grungy, college feel. Over on West Sixth you've got the new Kung-Fu Saloon, a spot for arcade games (mainstream fare like Street Fighter and The Simpsons) and Steampunk Saloon among others along with those beer cruisers you pedal and drink on. Lastly it was over to Rainey Street, a formerly not great neighborhood now transformed into new apartments and houses turned bars. Kinda like the Venice of Austin. Uber and Lyft had left the city a year ago over background checks and percentages but the former had just began services again. I still use local apps like Wingz and Fasten though, they treat the drivers better apparently.

It's been a while since I've been on a college campus, haven't been to the one I graduated from since I left in 2004, but UT was pretty nice. Lots of nice architecture, a turtle pond and a Wendy's in the student union. Several restaurants across from campus were closed which is a shock considering the high amount of foot traffic. The Ransom Center has free exhibits open the public with materials for James Joyce's Ulysses, one of the only public copies of The Gutenberg Bible (one of the first mass produced books using movable metal type) and several pieces from Taxi Driver. Apparently there's a Robert De Niro collection housed there, who knew?

Malibu Weekend!

We spent Easter weekend with some out of town friends in beautiful Malibu. Only 20 some miles north of Santa Monica, the winding trip of the PCH into calm and dusty beach living feels like a different world. The house we stayed at was a working sustainable farm with fruit, turkeys and chickens! We were far enough away that you couldn't hear them much at 5:00 AM though. The house came with a beautiful pool and hot tub that overlooked the Pacific Ocean across the highway. Not waiting for the heater to do it's job, I took a frigid swim at 6:00 AM and did some aqua-karate, Kickboxer style, to start the day. The house sat on multiple acres and a short hike to the top of a hill lead us to a beautiful gazebo/patio area overlooking the ocean and green covered hills. A horse farm was visible next door and I wondered who lived in the palatial estates higher up the sides.

My friends didn't realize downtown was not close to Malibu and bought tickets to see Sigur Ros with the Los Angeles Philharmonic at the Disney Concert Hall. We'd never been there for a show and while beautiful, it went on for nearly 3 hours! It was extremely dark up there and I drove past the driveway multiple times. A nearby complex had a cafe, bank, grocery and shops where you saw an eclectic mix of surfers and posh types. All in, Malibu is kinda weird, man. With people living in beautiful remote isolation, I kind of wondered if they just stocked up on food and booze and laid around all weekend.

We headed up to a few beaches for a walk and ended up discovering Neptune's Net by chance. A well known biker bar and seafood joint, the spot is a popular filming location as well. Unlike Malibu Seafood down the road, if you wanted steamed seafood you had to go to the other side. I ended up with a giant platter of fried goodness with shrimp, calamari, fish, scallops and fries but after a while it's all just the same crunchy texture without much flavor. It's kind of like BBQ, I seem to crave seafood but when I get it, I'm kind of disappointed. No Sam Elliot sighting this time either as he lives in the north end of Malibu somewheres.

Gotta Eat! Burger King's Mac n' Cheetos

After First Blood, Q&A and catching up with my Dammaged Goods folks, I was a starving Marvin. My Uber driver Dimitry was from Russia proper and told me how popular Stallone and Arnold were in his home country. And on top of being a huge action movie fan, Dmitry's first film in a theater (an illegal one at that) was Stallone's Cobra! Along with action movies, apparently rock n' roll and jeans did more than anything else to help westernize the east. Already after 11:00 PM but I hadn't eaten since about 3:00 so threw training and clean living out the window as I pulled up to Burger King. I gotta tell you, BK has it going on right now. 2 for $5 sammiches, 2 Whopper Meals for $10, $1.49 chicken nuggets and their latest piece of ammunition in the fast food wars, Mac n' Cheeto's! Basically it's just fried macaroni and cheese dusted with Cheeto's orange cheesey goodness. And I gotta say, they were delicious. Way better than 7-11's Dorito covered bites as well as McDonald's mozzarella sticks. Crispy on the outside, soft on the inside but surprisingly not overwhelmingly cheesy.

Gotta Eat! The Jolly Oyster

Growing up in the mid-east of America, I used to love driving. The open highways, truck stops, road snacks, traveling tunes and friendly conversation while watching the country whip by and the sun set was a simple pleasure. But for about the last five years I haven't had much of a commute and most of my car time beyond 30 minutes means we're headed to Hollywood once a week, Disneyland once a month or San Diego once a year. So this past Saturday, cruising up to Ventura for a shindig caught me by surprise as it took an hour and a half! Plus it was raining in LA and I saw three accidents in 20 minutes so it just seemed like a day meant for lounging on the couch. But alas we had already committed and just north of Los Angeles the skies cleared. Driving past Simi Valley then Santa Clarita and finally into the quaint suburb-esque areas outside Calabasas and Ventura, we made it to a state park where a sustainable seafood establishment is mere footsteps from the beach. The Jolly Oyster is comprised of a food truck that cooks oysters and clams to order and a permanent looking stall where you can get them raw and do with you as you like.

The picnic area wasn't huge but was packed by 1:00 PM with families and celebrations. It's been a while since I've tried to BBQ and boy is my game not up to par. Luckily a friend is an expert as he threw some clams into a pot with butter, minced garlic and white wine. I've never had good luck with raw oysters so I couldn't channel my inner James Coburn from Hard Times but had a couple cooked ones that were delectable. Instead I opted for some steamed clams and fried oysters from the food truck which were pretty tasty and the remote joint took credit cards so that's a plus. The park was pretty big with several celebrations going on and cost a not terrible $10 bones to enter/park. The Jolly Oyster has an interesting method of dispensing shells, you just toss them onto a pile of a makeshift wall around the picnic area. All in a fun day at a hidden gem outside Los Angeles.

Gotta Play! Button Mash

Another day, another Los Angeles based barcade. As a child of the 80's and 90's, I grew up pumping quarters into machines at my local malls, mashing buttons to Street Fighter, Final Fight, X-Men and the like. One more recent addition to the LA scene is Echo Park's Asian fusion restaurant with a bar and arcade Button Mash. Just up the street from Union Station in downtown, Button Mash is located in a curious strip mall that holds a tropical fish store and a Domino's among other businesses. There's a small parking lot and plenty of curb side parking around the area. They were supposed to open at 4:00 PM but were actually in the midst of shooting a TV show, movie or online series whatever. Surprisingly, many an older person patron was waiting to get in as well and when I say older, I mean retirement age. I wonder what games they came to play.

The place is split up into a restaurant on one side and the arcade on the other. It's strictly beer and wine at the moment but there are several kinds of cider for people like me. Food wise you had a double hamburger next to chicken wings and tofu balls, all in, not too shabby. Then your check comes in a 90's area paperback which was a nice touch, if you ever see Governor Schwarzenegger, Party of Four, scrawled in one, that was me. Game wise it's token based and the selection is quite solid with the full X-Men, Street Fighter II: Championship Edition, Mortal Kombat II, WWF, Super Contra, pinball and more. The more I play, the more I find myself craving the Street Fighter Alpha series with it's faster action and ability to pull off super combos. But so far, that's only located at Shatto 39 not here, Eighty-Two, Blipsy's or my local burger joint that has games in it. I'm sure The One-Up has all of them on their beautiful emulator cabinet but it's not quite the same thing.

Playing MK II was a trip back down memory lane as I could not recall ANY of the moves but was quickly reminded how cheap a game it is as you can seriously just trip someone over and over again until they die. We looked up moves and before you knew it, it was all about Johnny Cage and the splits to nut punch. I'm not saying Jean-Claude Van Damme invented the move in Bloodsport but can you name me a precursor example that had as much impact? And for a place called button mash, it could use a lot more brawlers. But overall a cool joint I'd check out again.

Gotta Eat & Drank! Sambar

On Thursday night we hit Culver City for some happy hour and latest X-Men flick, Apocalypse. Since moving to the west side, we've slowly discovered some cool and favorite spots around the Marina Del Rey and Culver City area. Downtown Culver City is quite beautiful with classic architecture and a bevy of spots to eat and drank like Rush Street, Honey Kettle Fried Chicken, Lyfe Kitchen, City Tavern, The Culver Hotel and Coldstone for dessert. That also brings people in so finding a seat can get tricky if you don't time it right. There's plenty of places to check out but we were running late and missed Happy Hour at several joints, one ended at 5:45 PM, what the f*ck...Across the street from the Arclight is Sambar, a beautifully built Thai and Indian infused restaurant. It felt pretty classy but service was very friendly as we sidled up to the bar and ordered cocktails, lamb meatballs, spicy calamari, bacon and cheese naan and chicken masala. The bartender was whipping up some test cocktails and gave us one to try, it was smooth and tasty. The food was all excellent, very light, well spiced and flavorful. Full, slightly buzzed and happy, we made our way to the theater. Sambar's Happy Hour runs 4:00 - 7:00 PM Tuesday to Sunday and we'll definitely be back.

WonderCon! Eats & Transport

One nice thing about WonderCon being in Downtown, Los Angeles this year was the abundance of eating and dranking spots near the convention center. N00bs were content with the surprisingly not crowded center eateries serving up sammiches and fried goodies or waiting out in the sun at the dozens of food trucks. But just a couple blocks away you could take in a multitude of easy to sit joints like the Yard House, Tom's Urban and Lawry's Prime Rib. On Friday night we took a short Uber ride to Little Tokyo for some video game action at 82 where I got destroyed in Street Fighter II then we almost beat Golden Axe: Revenge of Death Adder before getting worn out. Next door is a Japanese mall filled with shops, snacks, karaoke and food where we ended up getting a big plate of chicken teriyaki and dumplings from Tofu House.

Saturday morning we stopped by the empty Tom's Urban where you can get breakfast on weekends along with an all day lunch and dinner menu. Unlimited mimosas set you back $16 bones but were a little light on the champagne the lady says. The best of both worlds, we chowed down on a breakfast platter of eggs, grits and sausage along with a bacon and avocado burger. We opted for a kale side salad instead of fries because it had been a very light on roughage con-cation already. After walking the floor for a bit, we wandered over to Lawry's Carvery in L.A. Live for what might have been the best tasting meal of the weekend, a prime rib sammich along with their King of Clubs. Both meats were extremely tender and flavorful with the bread soft and tasty. They have entrees as well if you just wanted a slab of prime rib.

In the lobby of the J.W. Marriott is Ford's Filling Station, the classic upscale chain run by one of Harrison Ford's sons. We had breakfast there one day, shelling out $22 for an omelet and another $12 for a Belgium Waffle, I always thought they were called Belgian Waffles...It was good but nothing screamed excellent about the pricey meal, it was just convenient. Speaking of the J.W., we opted to Uber to and from because valet was $45 a night with no self parking option as I'm guessing your car is parked in or held offsite due to space. Adding up all of our trips that weekend, from Playa Vista to downtown, to The Falls, back to L.A. Live, to 82, over to Hollywood and back then home cost around $80, not even two nights parking let alone the three we had. And there's no tips involved with Uber so it was definitely the way to go.

Downtown! Fogo De Chao & BonaVista Lounge

After Hollywood Thursday and Malibu Friday, Saturday was for Downtown. Coming from Playa Vista, trekking out can be a bit of a pain with traffic and parking so we opted for an Uber. You know Uber and Lyft right? When they first came out, Lyft's brand was your friends driving you while Uber was your own personal driver. Lyft cars are supposed to be 2004 and newer with Uber being 2006 and on. You rate and tip on Lyft while you only rate on Uber. Apparently one of them can rate you too but I've never had an issue. Now I rarely give out five out of five stars and I'll tell you why Saturday's ride downtown only got a four. Our driver was nice enough but kind of smelled, was playing semi-loud music and was new to LA so he kept slamming on the brakes every time traffic would open up then immediately slow down. He also turned up the music while I was talking to my friend and it was a little hot in the car. If this is supposed to be my private driver, shouldn't he be asking if I'm comfortable and what kind of music I want to listen to? Getting upset at traffic didn't help either. Little things that added up and only made for an OK experience. I've had worse, I've had better.

Our first stop was Brazilian steakhouse Fogo De Chao, a joint with a small salad bar and a dozen grilled meats served table side. We were a few minutes early and walked over to the shopping center and grabbed a drank at City Tavern, who like their Culver City location, has Happy Hour everyday. Back to Fogo for meat and the service was near impeccable with the staff being warm, kind and checking in on us frequently. But the place lost major points as our table or the restaurant had a gnat problem. As in little things flying around our food and we killed 6 of them. Not exactly the most memorable experience during an expensive dinner. The meats were pretty good and the variety nice but the crispy polenta strangely being the most standout. From there we walked around taking in the tall buildings and architecture before arriving at The Westin. I didn't realize there were floors of shopping there but even more awesomely surprising was the fact that True Lies shot there! A plaque near the Red Towers tells you that the James Cameron/Arnold classic utilized two elevators and if you've seen the movie, it's when Arnold is riding a horse after a bad guy and goes up to the roof.

We took the elevator up to the 35th floor where a revolving restaurant and lounge reside. At first you're not sure if you're moving but look down at the floor and you can see that you are. With a panoramic view of the concrete jungle, we snapped a few shots as we nursed our oncoming meat comas. We were in the financial district and walked a few more blocks checking out the scene, seeing lots of construction, the library and a wedding in progress. While I'd never want to live downtown, it's nice to visit and take off from. Our Uber driver home was great; personable, funny and relaxed. The car was chilled and he drove just right, not the speed limit or racing through traffic. He was a cool guy, easy to talk to and deserving of the five stars.

Snow Screen: Ex Machina

While over 100 million folks watched the Super Bowl Sunday, we headed to West Hollywood for Happy Hour and a movie. The highways and streets were bare and WeHo was luckily busy but not that busy. It was warm out and I don't think I've ever seen so many tank tops in a few blocks per capita. Kitchen 24 on Cahuenga has long been one our Hollywood hangouts and this would be our first visit to their WeHo location. Bigger with patio seating, the place was empty as we sipped on HH Old Fashions while munching on fried chicken, wings then a turkey and brie sammich with fries. Everything was delectable and K24 has one of the best and longest running Happy Hours in town. Down the street is The Pacific Design Center; home to shops, offices, restaurants, a theater and art exhibit space. I'd never been inside the giant blue building but I'm pretty sure Demolition Man shot here.

There was a whole day of films celebrating Oscar nominee Alicia Vikander and the young actress appeared after a screening of The Danish Girl earlier. A Royal Affair, Testament of Youth and Ex Machina followed. While the PDC was closed, we strolled around the lobby and checked out a few random things on display and were surprised by the amount of stores inside. The Silver Screen Theater is beautifully modern and I wonder if they do regular programming like LACMA. Being in WeHo you had to have some odd balls around and tonight we got a lady who was chewing some stranger out about I don't even know what, then she fell asleep and started snoring during the movie. Since it was a free screening I have no clue if she'd been there all day instead of out on the street. Anyways, Ex Machina was released way back in April of 2015 and we'd caught it on Amazon Prime already. But it was a cool flick and nice to see on the big screen. 28 Days Later and Dredd's Alex Garland writes and directs the moody, sci-fi tinged drama about programmer Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson) who is selected to join billionaire inventor Nathan (Oscar Isaac) for a week in a secluded compound to test Ava (Vikander), a humanoid creation with earth shattering artificial intelligence.

It's an intriguing, funny, weird and visual chess match that looks at what makes us human, whether you're born with it or created, programmed and learned. It was a weird continuation on the theme of wanting to be human after Blade Runner and Robocop viewings in recent weeks. Tears in the rain, I guess. All three leads are excellent in their roles with Gleeson playing naive and slightly lovelorn, Isaac eccentric, piercing and bullying and Vikander is innocent and searching. The end gets a little messed up and all I could think of RAT TRAP and Michael Biehn's crude but true thoughts on lengths men will go to for "just a little bit of p*ssy", even if it's robotic. The set design of the partially subterranean bunker in the middle of wilderness is awesome and resulted in me finding out it's a hotel in Norway. Although it cracked me up that Nathan works out every morning with a rudimentary weight set versus a full gym, I mean come on, Arnold used to have equipment shipped to every Hyatt hotel he stayed at. But maybe that's more difficult on a low budget indie. Gleeson and Isaac would coincidentally both go on to appear in the big budgeted Star Wars: The Force Awakens but swap sides as the redheaded actor portrayed evil General Hux while Isaac is the dashing and supportive big brother you never had/best pilot in the universe for the Rebellion. Who you gonna call?! Ghostbusters, man!

First Casetify Friday in Venice

A few years ago, GQ or one of them magazines dubbed Venice's Abbott Kinney the coolest street in America or something or other. Since then the place has continued to explode with hipster bars (lots only serving wine and beer, so not that cool), workout studios, art galleries and stores selling expensive stuff. While I have coffee in Venice frequently, I never hang out there and had been to Abbot Kinney's night scene maybe once years and years ago. This past Friday we waded into the crowds to support our friends at Casetify who were holding a pop up shop at clothing joint Cuyana. The problem with Venice is that it goes down to one lane and the first Friday of the month, it's lined with food trucks and lots of people. Great if you're there and walking, not so great trying to drive in. We meant to check out Primitivo for Happy Hour but it was closed, forever. But next door at a new Mexican joint I was randomly surprised by a poster of Venice local Vladimir Kulich on the wall.

A friend recommended Willie Jane's and he was right, they have Damme good biscuits. I don't know how our bill of drinks, deviled eggs and a sammich reached $100 bucks but hey, we were in a "scene" and the place provided good food, drinks and service. Walking over to Cuyana the wine was flowing, marble phone cases showing and tunes blasting from the DJ. Catching up with old friends, one of them pointed out that everyone in Venice tries to present themselves well, even if there's a lot of posing, duck faced selfies and half bum looking mofos around. Next door is new and happening doughnut shop Blue Star out of Portland but man if I was not impressed with their $5 selections. Trying to get out was a bit of a pain as roads were closed and Friday night traffic was in full effect. Later in the weekend I read about 37 year old bar Roosterfish was closing due to high rent as the former grody neighborhood for burnouts and performers keeps changing. It's like former local Arnold says, go where the crowds aren't.

Gotta Eat! (& Drank): Odyssey & The One-Up

It was 405 time Sunday as we headed up to Granada Hills to meet a friend at Odyssey, a long established, would be swanky establishment on top of a hill overlooking the area for brunch. The offerings were varied and delicious with breakfast staples like eggs, bacon, fresh made waffles and lox along with Chinese food, a carving station with prime rib and turkey, shrimp, crab legs, turkey pot pie and much more. It was a little pricey at $40 bucks a person but the ambiance, service and food were all excellent. Dranks were only $3.50 as well as we opted for some red wine Sangria. After eating our fill it was down the 405 to Sherman Oaks for a little button mashing at The One-Up. The place is great when no one's there because there's only one multiplayer machine with 400 titles like Final Fight, Street Fighter, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and King of Fighters. The rest of the cabinets are kind of weak sauce, 10 pages of 8 bit titles like Pac-Man, Asteroids, Ghouls and Ghosts and the sort. Solid titles but not what I think of when I come to arcade. Scrolling through the massive list, that's missing Alien VS Predator, G.I. Joe and The Avengers sadly, there's still plenty of games to keep you busy.

We started with Bomberman, where you run around dropping explosives, blowing up creatures and walls, collecting power ups and decapitating yourself with fire. It took me back to the good ol' days of Super Nintendo and then Nintendo's Game Cube, their less than successful follow up to the N64. After that it was brawling time and we set out to defeat the really loud Cadillac's and Dinosaurs game by Capcom. Originally a comic book from 1986, the title was translated into video games, a cartoon, action figures and more. After pollution and natural disasters threaten mankind, humans go underground for 600 years. When they come out, extinct life forms like dinosaurs have taken over and those with basic mechanical skills hold the power. Motor head Jack Tenrec and busty scientist Hannah Dundee are featured in the 1993 arcade game along with quick footed Mustapha Cairo and bruiser Mess O'Bradovich. Like Final Fight, you punch, kick and spin move your way through sections of the city taking on thugs and here, dinosaur slavers and a few of the creatures themselves. With 8 areas to get through, game play gets a little repetitive but you get to shoot baddies with Uzi's and shotguns, blow them up with grenades, stab them with knives and run over them with a Caddy in one part. Surprisingly bloody by today's standards, you end up in the lab of Dr. Fessenden who transforms into a big dinosaur with an alien looking creature sticking out of his chest. I'll be back to defeat another brawler soon!

Gotta Eat! Road to Seoul & Mateo's

It had been a light day of eating so I was looking forward to dinner, Korean Barbecue at one of the best of it's kind, Road to Seoul on Western. The place was surprisingly crowded for 3:30 on a Sunday afternoon but once our party arrived (most of your party has to be there to be seated) we were led a table already set up with the necessary accouterments like salad, rice paper, hot sauce, bean sprouts and kim chee. Soju was ordered with a side of lemon but for the second time in a row at KBBQ, broken glass reared it's head. I didn't break a glass this time (I had just met JCVD that day, I was amped, the glasses were sticking together, sue me) but two of the shot glasses we received were cracked from rim to bottom. They say you're supposed to cook non-marinated meat first so the grill doesn't get too mucked up but we went for sauce dripping bulgogi, pork belly and brisket leading to baby octopus, beef tongue, sirloin, spicy chicken and much more. At one point the fat from a strip of pork belly (oversized bacon) hit the flames and flared up, my hand over the grill and all. Everyone pulled back, including the table next to us. I somehow managed to finish flipping the meat without suffering any burns or singed arm hair. The slow 90's jams kept coming and this is the same place that blared four versions of Sy's Gangham Style during a previous dinner.

Around the corner on Pico is a great spot for ice cream, Mateo's. This ain't Baskin Robbins as you have Mexican fruits and smoked milk on the menu along with a plethora of bars. We opted for a scoop of chocolate and one of leche. It was very flavorful without being too rich and sweet like say a Coldstone Creamery. Seemingly always busy, we loitered out front in the cold, eating our ice cream. After a fun convention, Star Wars in 4DX, KBBQ and ice cream, the day was one of those you just can't complain about.

Gotta Eat! Mad Max Lobster Roll

Part of my Christmas weekend was spent cleaning up the house, organizing and putting together one of those giant IKEA shelves. The Swedish furniture store was down by a 99 Ranch Market, a great place for Asian fare and cheap seafood. Lobster was running $10.99 a pound so I picked a couple crustaceans up for a nice holiday meal. Remember that summer a couple years ago when Maine Lobster was cheaper than bologna due to colder water temperatures leading to an abundance of the claw and tailed tastees? While California never got $5.00 lobster, I did see it for $9.99 once. Of course you want a lively lobster because if it's already dead or cathartic, it won't taste as good and you can have bacteria forming in dead ones. The two medium guys I took home didn't move at all on the ride home but when I grabbed one and set him on the counter, he immediately started moving around and looking at me with his little beady eyes. This kind of freaked me out because you really never slaughter your own food in this day and age. And like Van Damme said, "animals have eyes, eyes they have a soul" and this one must have realized what was going to happen because he started thrashing a little bit and backing away from me. I named this guy Max Lobatansky a la Mad Max Rockatansky for some reason.

I read up on humane ways to kill lobsters although most chefs and experts agree that the hard shelled creatures are essentially giant bugs and you wouldn't feel bad for killing a mosquito, right? So using a big knife I punctured the top of the lobster's head and sliced down, supposedly destroying the nervous system. But the tail and extremities keep moving so it's a little unnerving. I've always been conscious of the fact that animals have been slaughtered for my consumption so I do my best not to waste food or take it for granted. To prep Max, I put a pot on to boil and added salt, butter, onion and some herbs. After killing Max, I snipped the rubber bands on his claws then submerged him into the pot for 15 minutes until bright red and ready to eat. Setting him on a chopping board on top of some cardboard ensured less of a mess as I broke, cut and cracked my way in with a side of melted butter with some garlic shavings mixed in. When eating, be mindful of removing the intestinal tract in the tail. While there is some potential danger of eating the tomalley or internal organs due to the fact that pollutants could accumulate. I went ahead and ate the green stuff and was fine. For the second lobster who went unnamed, I did the freezer trick where you let them chill in the ice box for 30 minutes so they're desensitized. Then use your knife and do the head splitting action. This worked quite well as nameless didn't struggle and hopefully did not suffer. I removed the meat from this one and realized just how little comes out. You basically have the tail and claws, a little in the knuckles, a little in the abdomen then with a rolling pin, a fraction in the legs. I think jumbo shrimp is the easier way to go, similar taste and texture with less shell and work.

Stay shiny and chrome, little Max Lobatansky, I witnessed your deliciousness...

Gotta Eat! Disney Weekend

Since we'd be in the park over the weekend, I went ahead and made reservations at a couple of spots, one to try and one to remember. We'd been to Carthay Circle for drinks and I wasn't impressed, hopefully dinner would be more spectacular and it was. The upstairs restaurant is old school Hollywood with low lighting and lots of dark wood decor. Black and white photos of Walt Disney and the likes of Julie Andrews accepting awards adorned the walls. The place wasn't very big but had several attached private dining rooms all named after prolific streets like Buena Vista and Hyperion. There's special cocktails on the menu to commemorate Disney's 60th anniversary so we started with a couple of Manhattan's that came with diamond shaped ice. I'm not a huge fan of Manhattan's so after struggling through I went back to my staple of an Irish Mule. Food wise it was simple yet high end fare like you'd find at Napa Rose or Club 33. I went with the giant porkchop special and we also tried out the fried biscuits filled with cheese and jalapenos, delicious. Most shocking of all discovering Kurt Russell's Gogi line of wine on the menu going for a cool $110 smackers a bottle. Speaking of dranking, we did a mini Disney pub crawl around the resort after Trader Sam's was packed we opted for Steakhouse 55, walked around downtown Disney, Paradise Pier, more dranks at the Grand Californian and finally at a couple of hotels on our way back to basecamp.

Sunday was a big day as we started with the Holiday Time tour, a 3 hour excursion highlighting all of the great Christmas decorations and history. Highlights included learning that one of the 60 foot trees caught on fire and was replaced over night, there's a candle lit menorah in one of Main Street's windows, a little knowledge of candy canes as well as walk on access to Jingle Cruise, Haunted Mansion and It's a Small World. We ended by having front row seats for the parade complete with hot chocolate and gingerbread men and seeing special guest Dick Van Dyke riding dirty along with dancers from local schools and themed floats with Mickey, Santa Claus, Woody and the like. We had reservations over at Big Thunder Ranch for some all you can eat ribs and chicken as the joint is one of the many attractions closing down soon to make way for Star Wars land. It's a fun set up with live entertainment and country music, buckets of meat, baked beans, cornbread and cornslaw along with drinks served in Mason jars. That Damme hot chocolate and gingerbread cookie filled me up though so we only mowed down two buckets of barbecued chicken and ribs. Fare thee well, Big Thunder Ranch! BBQ in peace.

Gotta Eat! Thanksgiving

"Behold! Beta Ray Thor, harbinger of cosmic justice and butter!"

Ah Thanksgiving, the mightiest of holidays as there's no gifts or religion required, only those you care about and you're expected to gorge and be gay (as in merry, do better). All my years of Food Network watching has prepared me well for the day as the turkey came out quite well once again. Since I don't brine or baste, I go with herb butter under and on top of the skin, a little trick one Tyler Florence taught me. Taking fresh thyme, rosemary and sage, I mashed the aromatic greens bits into some softened butter. From there, just run your hand gently under the skin to separate it from the meat and plop in bits of your fancy butter then coat the skin with it along with salt and pepper.

This year I got a bird just under 13 pounds after realizing 16 was too Damme big for only a handful of people like last year. I used chunks of carrots, onion, celery and apples as a roasting tray to keep the bird off the bottom and having it steam. Of course rinsing and patting the turkey dry is key so your butter and seasonings don't simply slide off. For the cavity it was a poultry blend of herbs along with some onion and apple. Genius struck as I realized I had a pack of uncured bacon in the freezer and used it to protect the breast instead of a tin foil tent. In hindsight I should have latticed the strips to form a blanket as simply draping the strips across the top and front resulted in many slices slipping off. No matter, the skin was nice and crisp, the meat juicy and moist.

Side dish wise I never get too crazy, mashed cauliflower along with some instant stuffing and mashed potatoes does the job. I was quite disappointed that Food Network was not showing Thanksgiving themed shows and specials all day but Jean-Claude Van Damme's drunk dancing in Kickboxer followed by snake punching in Hard Target saved the day. Hope you had a great one and are enjoying the leftovers!

Gotta Party! Casetify Launch

Our downtown weekend started off Saturday with what was the worst Lyft I've ever had. I'm usually an Uber guy but it was already Surge pricing. Maybe the extra money would have been worth it as our driver was three days in, was surprised I asked for some AC in the 90 degree weather and had no clue where they were going, even with GPS. After missing a turn I ended up giving them directions to our destination. You see, we took a car service because driving downtown on a Saturday night is a mess; it's crowded, parking can be sparse and we'd be drinking so it was time to be responsible. Yet we paid for a service and instead of sitting back and relaxing, I was on edge the entire time, telling them where to go and sweating from the intermittently working AC. I had to let that go though so it wouldn't ruin my evening which was immediately helped by some pizza and whiskey. After that we walked over to Poketo, a high end, mini-Urban Outfitters style shop next to barcade 82 and sausage joint Wurstkuche for the Casetify Launch Party thrown by a friend.

Casetify specializes in custom cases for your Apple phone, pad and watch along with Android products. They've recruited the likes of Hilary Duff, Snoop Dog and the like for campaigns and apparently, business is booming. California Donuts, Salt & Straw Ice Cream, Press Brothers Juicery, Longshot Coffee and ROK Drinks were all on hand to shell out food and dranks. We imbibed a quite tasty malt liquor beverage with a Rose flavor but blackout inducing Four Loko level alcohol it was not. Salt & Straw's brownie ice cream was delicious, highly recommended. Inside, phone cases and watch straps lined the walls and the place was a hopping. Many thanks for the invite, Casetify and here's to your continued success! Of course the party didn't stop there as we headed back to Little Tokyo and stopped in at Spitz for some Jameson but the Doner Kebab spot has some amazing french fries too boot.

Gotta Eat! Junk Gold

It was a short holiday weekend down to Orange County where we'd be taking in The Lion King stage show as well as a tour at ol' Disneyland. The OC Auto Show was in full effect so our standard Anaheim hang outs The Double Tree and Red Lion were booked up. We opted for The Double Tree in Orange a few miles down the 5 since they had a shuttle to the park and were right next to The Outlets of Orange, formerly The Block. I used to live and work down here so it was a bit of a time warp seeing Best Buy, Wendy's, Krispy Kreme and Friday's from our hotel window. It was a nice

spot and pretty quiet up on the 11th floor. As usual we over packed weekend supplies that included chips, bars and chocolate while we picked up some delicious Seagram's 7 Apple Orchard whiskey along with some Munchie Mix, pork rinds and Combo's. While I've been doing the 8 hour window eating thing, it was time to kick back because it's not everyday I can walk to a Wendy's. They've been advertising $4 meals where you get a Jr. burger, chicken nuggets, fries and a drink. Apparently fast food joints have moved away from the dollar menu and embraced small meals like KFC's Five Dollar Fill Up, Jack in the Box's $6 Night Meal or McDonald's Double Cheeseburger and Fries for $2.50. I went old school and grabbed a Classic Double (in my youth it would have been a Classic Triple), fries, chocolate Frosty and chicken nuggets. It was all Damme tasty. It's funny to see people forecasting the death of struggling top dog McDonald's but a little research shows that they posted roughly $5 billion in profit last year. Not made, but PROFITED off near $36 billion in revenue. You know who is second behind them? Starbucks with $12 billion in revenue. I think they'll be ok...

24 Hours: Dunkin' Donuts

While traffic was nothing at 4:30AM, by 7:15 it was surprisingly heavy. I popped over to the new Dunkin' Donuts on Washington near Costco that used to be a Foster's Freeze. You know, the old hole in the wall where you could get ice cream AND corndogs/burgers/fries? It was uber disappointing to see such an awesome spot close up but I'd rather see a doughnut shop replace it than some artisan yoga shoppe or some crap. I didn't grow up with Dunkin' but do love a good doughnut. One recently opened in Santa Monica where mo's waited in line for hours for sugar filled deep fried goodness. Californians are weird, man...anywho, there were only a few peeps in front of me but I could see how this could get jammed up real quick as people are so indecisive. Especially when they need to make potentially a dozen or more choices. I stuck with the classics, Crullers, chocolate glazed chocolate cake and their seasonal specialties, Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake and Reese's Peanut Butter filled squares. They also had an array of breakfast sammiches available but I was headed to the gym for a fasted workout. The chocolate was quite good as was the air filled cruller. Next up, food coma from the frosting, cream and sugar rich squares. See ya in line at Tim Horton's!

Gotta Eat! Gramma's Country Kitchen

 
Steps away from our lovely Holiday Inn in Banning is Gramma's Country Kitchen, a local establishment filled with crap on the walls, nice folks and awesome food. The decor is homey with brick interior and lots of signs and decorations on the walls like...your grandma's house, I guess. Big wooden booths, pies on demand and signs for steak specials made me feel very comfortable. I opted for their Chicken Fried Steak breakfast which came with two eggs and choice of sides where I went with pancakes and BISCUITS AND GRAVY. Our sever was kind and the food came out fast. I snapped a quick photo, not realizing how white it all was with the plates, double portion of gravy and over easy eggs. The Chicken Fried Steak was great, crispy on the outside and fork tender inside. The gravy was excellent as well, not too salty or heavy and the pancakes were light and fluffy. I wanted to eat more, my mind wanted to but my body just wasn't having it. If I can't have Bob Evans, at least I can have Gramma's.

Gotta Eat! The Ranch Restaurant

After Saturday's show we headed out into Anaheim to do a little exploring. A friend had told us about the Packing District in downtown, where refurbished historic structures were now home to modern restaurants and live music along with a view of Disneyland's fireworks. After a day of walking the expo, the place was just too much of a scene reminiscent of a crowded mall food court and we had to bail. Up the street was the Promenade but again, had only some frou frou and fancy looking joints hocking organic junk food or oysters. We're simple folk, The Lazy Dog Cafe suits us fine so Yelp helped me find The Ranch Restaurant and off we went. I'm glad the Packing District didn't work out, otherwise we would have never had such a randomly good time at The Ranch. Pulling up to an office building, we were greeted by the sight of two different establishments, the Restaurant and the Saloon. Not looking to break the bank on a steak, we were there to check out the bar. Security was surprisingly heavy and asked if I was carrying any knives or weapons which caught me extremely off guard.

Inside the place was dark and constructed from wood. There was a $5 cover charge but we soon learned that a band was playing. Sidling up to the bar we watched as an instructor took patrons through basic line dancing and there were more than a few folks wearing Stetsons and cowboy boots. I didn't feel too out of place though as there were several Asians and Mexicans around. The staff was excellent; funny, attentive and cordial, cracking jokes at people who couldn't handle their beer and complimenting me on my awesome Captain America shirt. I still couldn't get over the locale as we were in Anaheim, former home of Orange groves, for a Disney convention, sitting in the bottom of a Class A office building that housed a Saloon where people were wearing cowboy gear and line dancing. The live band was solid and I couldn't help but think I'd stumbled into a modern version of Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliot classic, Road House. The film was shot in Anaheim back in the 80's even. I was hoping the band would play one song from the movie (Jeff Healy Band, Bob Seger, Cruzados) to cement our surreal evening but it was fun watching people dance, chatting with locals and hearing the band play.

The Ranch is famous for their 3lb Bone-In Rib Chop, that's the meat weight minus fat and bone so the whole thing is close to 5lbs! Photos of the meal are ridiculous and I was sad no one around us was taking the challenge. Our Prime Rib sammich and Chicken Tenders were really good though. As were our Jameson cockatils. Several of my Orange County friends commented that they loved the joint so I'm glad we randomly chose so well. See you down the road, mijo.