What the Chuck?! The Delta Force

After a nice morning workout it was time to finish up one of Chuck Norris' greatest flicks and successes, 1986's The Delta Force. A full on Cannon production as co-studio head Menahem Golan directed the flick and co-wrote with regular Norris and company collaborator James Bruner. Inspired by the 1985 Trans World Airlines hijacking where Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad members took control of Flight 847 and demanded the release of 700 Shi'ite Muslims from Israeli custody. Passengers of Jewish descent were separated from the others, traveling military personnel were beaten, U.S. Navy Diver Robert Stethem was killed and it took two weeks and intervention from then U.S. President Ronald Reagan along with Lebanese officials to free the remaining hostages. The hijackers original demands were met when Israel released over 700 prisoners. Many of the original perpetrators remain at large while one was arrested in 1987, sentenced to life in prison but paroled in 2005.

In the film, events more or less unfold as they did in reality for the first half. We meet Captain Scott McCoy (Norris) during the disastrous Operation Eagle Claw where poor planning and communication, unexpected conditions and inefficient training ended with the deaths of eight Delta Force members and the failure of rescuing hostages in Iran. Tired of the bureaucrats planning and his men dying, McCoy resigns after rescuing his teammate Pete Peterson (William Wallace) from an exploded helicopter. Cut to five years later and New World Revolution terrorist Abdul (Robert Forster) and one accomplice hijack a plane waving guns and grenades. Passengers with Jewish sounding names are separated, three military divers are beaten and the hostages come to grips with the possibility of dying. Meanwhile the smartass and crusty Colonel Nick Alexander (Lee Marvin) is given the greenlight to make up for Eagle Claw and get the hostages free. McCoy gets the call and rejoins his crew which includes Bobby (the always great Steve James) and Pete. It's a good thing McCoy came voluntarily because Alexander had a Presidential decree ordering him back to service.

While the events that inspired the film are harrowing, frustrating and sad, the film derived is a fantastic time in the 80's vein of action film that no longer exists. In actuality, The Delta Force is a bit of a odd case as it's part docudrama, part deeply cast disaster movie and part ridiculously entertaining action movie. Joining Norris, Marvin, Forster and James are familiar faces from the 60's and 70's like Rat Packer Joey Bishop, 12 Angry Men's Martin Balsam, The Inglorious Bastards' Bo Svenson, The Magnificent Seven's Robert Vaughn and The Poseidon Adventure's Shelley Winters. There's plenty of human drama in the first hour as families are separated, there's flashbacks to the Holocaust, the young Navy diver is killed and dumped on the runway and the Jewish hostages are taken while the women and children are released. This all builds up for a cathartic second hour where the commandos are given the go ahead and resources to bring the hostages home.

After landing in Beirut, the movie veers from history and gives us the story many viewers would like to have seen. Basically, the Delta Force commandos roll in on dune-buggy's and motorbikes to take out the bad guys with extreme prejudice. Like this is how America kicks ass, extreme prejudice. Working with Mossad intelligence, McCoy and Pete infiltrate the terrorist hive where their local contact is taken by Abdul and plunges to his death. His sacrifice doesn't go wasted as Chuck and his buddies do the Damme thing and show up to get the job done. There's three sites where hostages are being held and rolling in under the cover of darkness with blue lights on their vehicles and U.S. flag patches on their shoulders, it's finally showtime. By this point the action takes us by air, land and sea and into the streets. You get a pretty destructive car chase with Chuck hanging out the side firing his Uzi and several jeeps and cars being flipped and exploded. Then there's the mass hostage rescue where McCoy and Bobby blow out the floor from beneath, emerge and waste the terrorists using machine guns and night vision goggles. Plenty of baddies get riddled with squibs and tumble down stairs, Steve James gives a strong thumbs up and Chuck wastes a dude hiding under a bed then delivers "sleep tight, sucker". Outside, the main force attacks with missile equipped motorcycles and dune buggy's mounted with M-60's in a hail of explosions and property damage.

The physical stunts and destruction are pretty incredible. McCoy uses a bazooka to blow up some bad guys then takes a zip line down the building because Marvin's Alexander is in a hurry. Gunfire and squibs destroy rooms and bodies, motorcycles ramp and fly all over the place, flames burn right next to actors, every other car explodes, Norris and James fire bazookas near simultaneously then shake hands and the final big stunt involves Chuck Norris' double chasing a moving airplane, riding on on the seat of a motorcycle, grabbing a rope and climbing up...it's just terrific stuff set to Alan Silvestri's exciting and way overused yet effective electronic score. Then when McCoy catches up to Abdul, it's payback time to the max as Chuck flies in through a window on his motorbike and proceeds to thrash Abdul with punches, karate kicks and Judo throws all over the house through furniture, out a window, smashes his arm in a car door then blows him up with a rocket from his bike. Phew!

Once the hostages are freed and everyone is headed home, the Delta Force hands out cans of Budweiser beer and everyone sings "America, The Beautiful" before coming back to reality as Pete dies from his wounds. With their families waiting, the freed hostages celebrate while Delta Force carries off their dead and heads off to their next mission. I couldn't help but think this would make a great double feature with 1990's Charlie Sheen and Michael Biehn starring Navy Seals, another middle eastern terrorist tinged tale of heroism, sacrifice, skill, one liners and showcase of America's ass kicking acumen. Originally set to star Cannon's "two Chucks" Norris and Bronson, the latter fell out over unknown reasons. Probably financial as they both took home up to $5 million a picture. Marvin made his deal within 20 minutes after speaking with Golan and settled for a somewhat paltry $50,000 for 8 weeks of shooting towards the end of his career. Marvin was a much better choice than Bronson at this point as he was still lithe, dignified and trim while Charlie was no longer the granite featured muscleman of his youth.

Opening on Valentine's Day of 1986, The Delta Force grossed nearly $6 million at 1,720 theaters behind Down and Out in Beverly Hills and The Color Purple on it's way to a $17.7 million total. That put it at #50 for the year but would be one of Norris' highest earners alongside Missing in Action, The Octagon, A Force of One and Good Guys Wear Black. 1990's sequel would earn less than half of the original. The Delta Force would be Oscar winner Lee Marvin's final film as he died in 1987. Cool and buff sidekick Steve James would go on to re-team with American Ninja star Michael Dudikoff in Cannon's Avenging Force and Ninja sequel The Confrontation before showing up as Norris' cop buddy in Hero and the Terror. James sadly passed away in 1993. Cannon Films would be on it's last legs as 1987's costly trio of under performers Over the Top, Superman IV and Masters of the Universe along with a crashing bond market spelled doom for the mini-major known for genre and art house films alike.

Give Me A (DVD) Sign: Now and Again

It only took 14 years but the quirky action/sci-fi/romance drama series Now and Again just hit DVD courtesy of CBS.  I suppose it was worth the wait as the set is loaded with hours of special features including a 4 part making of/look back called Genesis.

Let's back up, in 1999 I was a senior in high school hanging with my friends, lifting weights, reading comics and talking shit.  Honestly, not much has changed.  But, that was about the last time I actively watched a television show that wasn't a 30 minute sitcom called The Simpsons or Home Improvement.  In 1998, CBS launched a television show based on one of my favorite flicks, the 1960 action western character piece, The Magnificent Seven.  Even better was that one of my favorite actors, Michael Biehn, was playing the lead.  Joined by familiar faces like Ron Perlman (Alien: Resurrection) and Dale Midkiff (Time Trax!), newcomers (to me) Eric Close, Rick Worthy, Andrew Kavovit and Anthony Starke, the show was a handsomely produced mix of action, drama, bromance and western derring-do that I recorded every week on the ol' VCR.  I believe it was on Friday or Saturday nights so sitting in a movie theater one evening I literally sat up in shock as I realized I hadn't set the VCR to record.  Although The Magnificent Seven's pilot premiered in the week's Top 10 with 10 million viewers, the show quickly lost viewers and ended up scoring middle of the road ratings and a few Emmy nominations.  On the bubble, fans campaigned CBS to renew the show and a 2nd season of 13 episodes was produced.  The show failed to gain any momentum and soon co-star Eric Close was onto a new show, Now and Again, which meant The Magnificent Seven would not be riding into season 3. 

Also relegated to the wasteland of Friday nights, Now and Again is the story of insurance salesman Michael Wiseman (John Goodman), a loving dad and good guy who gets drunk one night after testifying against his company and accidentally pushed in front of a subway car.  He awakens to find the smiling yet mysterious Dr. Theodore Morris (Dennis Haysbert) at his bedside and soon realizes he's no longer who he was before.  Michael's brain has been transplanted into the body of a perfectly engineered 26 year old (Eric Close) and the show follows his struggle of being alive yet dead along with the trials and tribulations of his wife/widow Lisa (Margaret Colin), teenage daughter Heather (Heather Matarazzo), best friend Roger (Gerrit Graham) and his slick former boss who won't pay out life insurance Craig (Chad Lowe).  While Michael deals with his new body, working for a shadowy government agency and trying to be involved in his former family's life, he's also in training and fighting baddies like chemical weapons terrorist The Eggman, turncoat operatives, runaway prototypes and killer bees.  Funny, sweet, exciting and a bit odd, the show was a strange hybrid of genres that somehow combined the elements of a love story, a bionic man, his friend/prisoner relationship with his maker, action and showing off super strength in order to be able to afford peanut butter cups. 

Like The Magnificent Seven, Now and Again gained a following of devoted fans and when it wasn't picked up for season 2 following a cliffhanger finale, said fans sent empty egg cartons to CBS and took out an ad in trade publications.  While The Magnificent Seven would hit DVD in 2005, the signs of Now and Again were relegated to repeats on Sci-Fi and maybe YouTube.  Now, I can finally retire my worn out VHS tapes as the complete series on DVD showed up on my door (AFTER the long weekend, thanks Amazon...).  Incidentally, one of my Now and Again tapes was recorded over another great, one season, sci-fi/action show that aired on CBS, The Flash!

Digging right into the special features, the main featurettes cover the origins, production, reception and legacy of the show titled Genesis, New Life, Remembrances and Timelessness.  Directed and edited by Dammaged Goods familiar Roger Lay, Jr. (of He-Man documentary Toy Masters fame), all of the major participants are included except John Goodman.  Additional content includes an on the set vignette as well as a spot focusing on the writing of the show.  Creator Glenn Gordon Caron had discovered Bruce Willis and shepherded hit show Moonlighting before moving into feature films.  CBS head Glenn Moonves asked Caron to write a pilot and if he didn't produce it, CBS would pay him an exorbitant sum of cash.  Inspired by 1958's Damn Yankees where an obsessed baseball fan makes a deal with the devil so his team will do well, Caron moved the Faust-ian tones to modern times in New York City.  A writer who shunned the traditional writers room of TV, Caron recruited a small but strong staff from various backgrounds including a scribe from Star Trek and one from Esquire magazine.  A dialog heavy show, rewriting was common place with actors behind handed a fresh chunk of 5 pages moments before shooting.  Their approach was to create a series that couldn't be identified or labeled while turning clichés on their head. 

Eric Close, a good looking actor who reminds me of Steve McQueen, had been a part of several failed shows before landing Now and Again, beating out a rumored 3,000 applicants.  To play the perfect bionic man, Close embarked on a crash diet of tuna and water then during shooting would go home and train after 16 hour days while subsisting on half a piece of toast with tuna in order to stay lean and yoked.  Dennis Haysbert (NAVY SEALS! So many Michael Biehn connections) was not Caron's first choice but was at the top of CBS' list and plays the government agent/creator with strength, dignity, intelligence and humor.  Shooting in New York City was a novel idea at the time but extremely difficult and expensive as there wasn't the infrastructure or tax benefits of today.  Moving locations proved time consuming and difficult so the production would take over sections of town whenever possible, one being Wall Street, an area bustling by day but empty at night, for street chases and action scenes.

The show's eclectic sensibility was hard for CBS to pinpoint and thus couldn't categorize the show equaling little effort into promoting it.  Being on Friday nights after Candid Camera didn't help but Now and Again premiered in September of 1999 to solid critical notices and reached 11 million viewers at it's peak.  3 Saturn Awards, a TV Guide cover and an Emmy nomination followed.  The show finished 76th out of 196 programs for the year behind CBS' own Diagnosis Murder, Jag, Nash Bridges and Walker, Texas Ranger.  Spirits were high for a renewal shortly after the wrap party,  word came down that the Now and Again would not be returning.  The news was a shock to all involved who really thought they were coming back, especially after the cliffhanger season finale.  Future plans and storylines are not discussed however for better or worse.  These days, I'm a sure a show with this kind of critical support, fandom and overall goodwill could get picked up by another network or an online outlet but those weren't the times we were living in back in 1999...

Gotta (Not) Eat!: Doritos Loaded & Web Roundup

It started with seeing a random Facebook sponsored post announcing that Doritos Loaded would be available at a 7-11 in Hollywood for a 4 hour window one Saturday.  A week later, the 7-11 next door had posters plastered across the front windows proclaiming they were in stock.  Even the shelves were full of empty cases just waiting to be filled with hot, cheesy, Dorito shell goodness.  After all Taco Bell sold more than 1 BILLION Dorito Locos Tacos in 2012 alone and hired an additional 15,000 employees to keep up.  I found the Nacho Cheese version a little strong as you just felt like you were eating spices and chemicals.  The Cool Ranch variety introduced later was a little easier on the palate.  Would deep fried cheese surrounded by the same zesty, crunchy shell give 7-11 yet another staple on top of the Slurpee?  If my batch is any indication then the answer is a resounding NO.  Basically they're not crunchy and that same spice/salt/chemical overload from the Taco shell mixed with salty cheese just made this a very not exciting eating experience.  If you've ever had deep fried macaroni and cheese, Loaded Doritos has nothing on those little wedges of crispy, soft, cheesy goodness.

Speaking of Taco Bell, did you hear about F-18 Charlie Sheen being drunk in the drive through line and talking to people behind him?  Check out the great clip here.  Charlie Sheen is the best.  Some people talk shit about him but give the guy a break, you paid him millions to act like an exaggerated version of himself then acted shocked when he became that hilarious, truth speaking, over the top character.  Two and a Half Men was such a funny show when he was on board.  Now with Ashton Kutcher you realize how lame and potentially offensive it can come across without the proper delivery or truthfulness of the performance.  Between Red Dawn, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Platoon, Wall Street, Young Guns, Eight Men Out, Major League, NAVY SEALS, Men at Work, The Rookie and his turn as a machine gun toting, ass kicking president in Machete 2, Sheen will always be #winning here at Dammaged Goods.

And speaking of Not Eating, a list of foods Nutritionists won't eat caught my attention and included usual suspects like processed meat and cheese (preservatives), non-dairy creamer (nutritionally bankrupt), diet soda (increases sugar cravings), cereal and fat-free dairy (added sugar), bacon (high fat and salt content) and hot dogs (processed, high preservatives).  To that I kind of just say "fuck that", I ate a leftover Whopper from Burger King for breakfast the day after the doctor told me my physical and bloodwork stated I was in excellent health.  After years of fast food consumption I figured I would have high cholesterol, triglycerides or something something like the media is always screaming about.  Remember when Avocados were bad for you?  Now they're super food?  Or that time saturated fat and butter were the enemy but now people add a dollop of the rich stuff to coffee to make it "bulletproof"?  So what bad news did the doc hit me with?  None!  That's the power of eating relatively clean much of the time, training regularly and indulging a couple times a week.   Think about it, if you're working out and eating say 4-5 meals a day, that's 28-35 meals a week so if a few of them aren't so good for you, who cares?  As long as you're not eating fast food or take out at EVERY meal I think you'll be fine.  Most of the time I take buns off my sandwiches or add spinach to burgers to give it a little extra dose of nutrition and also to make myself feel better mentally.  Just as eating poorly is easy, eating healthy can be difficult but just takes some planning and getting used to.  I'd also love to see how many of these nutritionists are in any kind of shape because if there's one thing I hate is someone out of shape talking about being in shape.  That's called being a poseur.

Gotta Drank! The Bowery

The 80's keep on rocking and rolling at The Arclight Hollywood this week as screenings of Aliens and Back to the Future remind us how great they are.  This would be my 2nd viewing of Aliens on the big screen while it was something like the 7th of BTTF.  Yeah, that's a lotta Flux Capacitating!  It's also week one of two of seeing Michael Biehn on the big screen as next Wednesday it's time for The Terminator.  The crowds have been a little subdued this week but you can bet your ass I'll be clapping and getting rowdy for Arnold, Biehn, Cameron, Paxton and Henriksen.  The last time I saw The Terminator, it was preceded the week earlier by a screening of The Abyss.  Hopefully Navy Seals and Tombstone are next in my double Biehn screen viewing.

Anywho, before Aliens, we walked a couple blocks over to Vine where there's a slew of bar and restaurants like The Well, grilled cheese house The Melt, some Italian joint and The Bowery; a cozy and dimly lit establishment that claims to have the best hamburger in Los Angeles.  I've had it and wasn't wowed but then again, it's served on an English muffin.  To me, English muffins are only good if they're toasted to a nice crispy finish and slathered in butter.  Bowery has some other tasty selections as well though on it's small menu.  Happy Hour runs the entire week I believe from 4-7.  As I'm fighting a cold, it was Hot Toddy time.  You know, whiskey and hot tea with lemon and honey on the side?  This might have been the best Hot Toddy I've ever had simply due to the fact that they gave me a shot glass full of honey with it.

Goodnight, future boy!

)

View In Peace: James "Jim" Jacks and Hard Target

Earlier this week, the death of movie producer James "Jim" Jacks quietly hit the news and interwebs in the form of a few brief articles and a couple detailed write ups from friends and collaborators like Kevin Smith and Harry Knowles.  His name might not strike the household familiarity of say a Jerry Bruckheimer or to a lesser extent Joel Silver but Jacks amassed a list of timeless classics like Jean-Claude Van Damme as a greasy mulleted samurai in Hard Target, the action ensemble western classic Tombstone, Richard Linklater's seminal Dazed and Confused, Kevin Smith's maligned but awesome Mallrats, Benecio Del Toro and Tommy Lee Jones' Rambo update The Hunted and his most successful work, 1999's The Mummy.  The Mummy was followed by two hit sequels and a successful spin off, The Scorpion King; which has had now spawned 3 direct to video sequels (the latest featuring Michael Biehn!).

A former wall street analyst who turned to screenwriting before working acquisitions at Universal and segueing into producing, Jacks is said to have been a hardcore movie lover.  1993 was a banner year for him as Hard Target, Dazed and Confused and Tombstone all hit theaters across the country.  Each holds it's own place in my and cinema's lore as they have all transcended generations and still resonate 20 years on.  Even though each title is held in high regard, at least two of them never matched the original intent of Jacks and his partners in celluloid.

By the early 90's, Jean-Claude Van Damme was the still the hot, young guy coming up the action ladder following Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger while competing with fellow new to the scene martial artist, Steven Seagal.  After a string of successful, low budget karate movies, 1992's Universal Soldier was his first decent budget, more mainstream action affair that had a talented director and studio support.  The flick performed well around the world and JCVD tried his hand at further broadening his audience with Nowhere To Run, a modern day Shane where VD protects a mother and her kids from evil land owners.  With nary a roundhouse kick or full split to be seen, Nowhere To Run might have fulfilled the Belgian's desire to try something different but audiences did not turn out and grosses were less than his previous 3 films.

Hard Target was the beginning of Van Damme's real push into the big leagues (it was also my second R-rated movie in a theater).  Universal saw his potential and figured with the right support, he could break into the $50-60 million grosses and join Arnold and Sly at the top of the mountain.  Former Navy Seal Chuck Pfarrer's (Navy Seals!) script is the story of Chance Boudreaux, a Merchant Marine struggling to make a living who helps out a young lawyer searching for her missing father.  Turns out her dad was a Vietnam veteran who agreed to be the subject of a twisted game that finds rich hunters paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to track and kill their fellow man.  Lance Henriksen and Arnold Vosloo turn up as the dastardly duo behind the sick scheme and it's up to Van Damme, the chick from Drop Zone (Yancy Butler) and mother fucking Wilford Brimley to stop them.

I'm not sure whose idea it was to go after noted Hong Kong director John Woo but the mayhem maestro behind The Killer signed on for his first American feature after Jacks and Universal set their sights on him.  Van Damme gave his stamp of approval but unfortunately, the $18 million production would be awash with problems from Van Damme being given far reaching creative control to Woo's unfamiliarity with the English language and American filmmaking process.  See, in Hong Kong, movies shoot for a while, stop and assess then continue on.  You can't do that kind of thing in America as studios need product to fill their slate so Woo was stranded without his team, working in a language not his own and a nervous studio watching over his shoulder.  Universal enlisted Evil Dead and Darkman director Sam Raimi to the production, ready to take over if Woo fell behind.  Even though Raimi was in awe of Woo and didn't think he would be able to bring anything better to the project.

After re-shooting the final confrontation between Van Damme and Henriksen, editing the picture would find the Muscles From Brussels presenting his own version along with Woo's cut that had to be trimmed down to avoid an NC-17 rating.  Jacks supported Woo's version as they didn't want a typical "Van Damme movie".  Test screenings were horrendous but finally on August 20th of 1993, Hard Target hit theaters, opening to $10 million on it's way to a $32 million total.  The tally was higher than Nowhere to Run but less than Universal Soldier.  Critics would deem it Van Damme's best but Woo's worst.  As it stands, Hard Target is a well made and violent action picture that does it's best to mesh Woo's human drama mixed with balletic gun violence and Van Damme's high kicking super heroics.  You get way too much slow motion, lots of close ups, bad puns, shoot'em ups, kick'em ups, jack rabbits slapping bears, horses, snake smacking, Mardi Gras, Lance Henriksen being set on fire, mama's taking chances and Ted Raimi saying "I ain't got no change, man!".

Post mortem, Van Damme would dismiss Hard Target for having a bad script and too much "John Woo bullshit" but having some good action and making him look strong.  Woo would remain political and say they did the best they could with what they had and didn't close the door on working with Van Damme again.  It never happened.  Van Damme would go on to his biggest hit, Timecop, before turning down a huge deal with Universal and sliding into a career funk filled with drug problems and messy divorces.  Woo would go on to find success after success, working with John Travolta, Nicolas Cage and Tom Cruise on Broken Arrow, Face/Off and Mission Impossible II before returning to Chinese cinema following the poorly received Windtalkers and Paycheck.

Come back next time as we check out Jacks' work on a fellow, troubled production: Tombstone.  Until then, enjoy Van Damme beating up some thugs after having some tragic gumbo.

Cinemarked: Michael Biehn and Navy SEALs

Lone Survivor obliterated the box office competition last week with an astounding weekend haul of $37 million.  Days later, the story of stranded Navy SEALs picked up two Academy Award Nominations.  From the Death of Bin Laden to it's cinematized adaptation Zero Dark Thirty to best selling books, Navy SEALs have become firmly entrenched in the public consciousness over the last few years.  With roots tracing back to World War II, SEALs were officially formed in 1962 to fill a need for fighting unconventional warfare utilizing men trained in hand to hand combat, demolitions, parachuting and underwater deployment.  Their ability to operate at sea, air and land gave birth to the term SEAL.  The price of joining is astronomical as the physical and mental demands root out some 80% of hopefuls.

In recent years, their real life heroism has been celebrated, some would argue too much and too publicly while giving the United States something to be proud of: we know how to kick ass.  While Act of Valor, Survivor, Zero and Captain Phillips have shown us realistic portrayals lately, there was one actor who embodied the cinematic badassness of these mythical warriors before everything went docudrama:  Michael Biehn.

Biehn has played a Navy SEAL no less than 3 times, each in a very different way in very different situations.  The Biehn would put his good looks and athletic prowess to excellent use for his breakthrough role in 1984's The Terminator as a love struck, time traveling soldier.  The signature role would also forever typecast him as the sensitive action hero to many and in his own words always led to him being a current/former cop, soldier or secret agent.  Although he's played some great roles in non-action fare, it's those performances where he's running around with a gun in his hand and barking out orders that will always be my favorite. 


Let's look at Biehn's Navy SEALs filmography:

The Abyss, 1989, Lt. Hiram Coffey
The third of four collaborations with one James Cameron sees Biehn playing leader of a small detachment of SEALs sent down to assist an oil rig crew to investigate a crashed nuclear submarine.  Right away, Coffey begins experiencing deep pressure sickness syndrome and fights to control the motely roughneck crew while determining whether or not Russians are waiting around the corner to attack.  Things get even weirder when Non-Terrestrial-Intelligent creatures show up.  Sick and cut off from his chain of command with a nuclear warhead at his finger tips, Coffey decides to send the otherworldly invaders a surprise care package in the shape of a multi-megaton bomb.

Co-Stars:  Ed Harris, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio
Traits:  Mustache, jittery behavior, slices arm to stop it from shaking
Fate:  Dies in a submersible implosion after elbowing the tape deck playing shitty tunes
SEAL-ness:  Scary and ominous, as much fun as a tax audit

Navy Seals, 1990, Lt. James Curran
Biehn's follow up role as the crazed SEAL leader in The Abyss would be as another SEAL Lieutenant, this time named Curran, in Orion's action fest, Navy Seals, written by former SEAL Chuck Pfarrer.  Biehn was at the top of executive Mike Medavoy's list for leading men and found himself starring opposite Academy Award winning bad boy Charlie Sheen.  Director Lewis Teague was fresh off the success of The Jewel of the Nile, follow up to Romancing The Stone.  Here, Biehn is pure big hearted good guy, the cool, calm leader of the outfit dealing with stolen shoulder mounted Stinger missiles, middle eastern terrorists and hotshot Chuck Sheen.  With the help of a connected journalist,  Curran and his team trot the globe dispatching bad guys with silenced MP-5's and AK-47's while quipping wise and playing golf.
Co-Stars:  Sheen, Bill Paxton, Rick Rossovich, Dennis Haysbert and Joanne Whalley (Kilmer)
Traits:  Coiffed blonde hair, drunk clarity, firm yet vulnerable leadership
Fate:  Gets shot in the abdomen and thigh while blowing up a building full of missiles thus forcing wild card Sheen to Chuck up and take command
SEAL-ness:  Doesn't have time to dick around because he's too busy punching terrorist
tickets and partying at the beach, his boat house and golf course

The Rock, 1996, Commander Anderson
Biehn's final portrayal of a Navy SEAL (to date) was in Michael Bay's slam bang, summer action thrill ride The Rock, where he's been promoted to Commander.  After a decorated Marine Force Recon General goes rogue and takes over Alcatraz Island armed with missiles aimed at San Francisco, Biehn is called in to lead the responsive action.  Recruiting the only known convict who survived escape as well as a chemical weapons specialist, Biehn's SEALs infiltrate the prison fortress before coming face to face with the disgruntled Marines turned mercenaries.  A total curve ball for audiences, Biehn's heroic face and body of work is used to throw the audience for a loop 2/3 of the way through the movie.  All of Biehn's scenes are speeches:  in front of the authorities planning an attack, letting the convict and chemist know what their roles are and what they're up against, giving his troops for a pre-invasion pep talk and finally mano a mano with the pissed off Marine General.
Co-Stars:  Nicolas Cage, Sean Connery and Ed Harris
Traits:  Hard, cold, always in black
Fate:  Gets killed in a shower room massacre when the Marines ambush the SEALs from high ground
SEAL-ness:  Surrounded by real life Frogmen, Biehn is as taciturn as can be and his death ratchets up the stakes as our lab rat and senior citizen convict are left to deal with the Marines and missiles

Of course this is Hollywood we're talking about so creative license has to be taken and it's all overblown bullshit, right? Actually, a group of former SEALs from the original 1962 group enjoyed 1990's Navy Seals with it's tough guy attitudes and adrenaline pumping action. While Biehn's performance in The Rock helped land him the job of narrating a film that runs (or ran) at The National Navy UDT-SEAL Museum in Florida.  Along with the gig, Biehn was named an Honorary Frogman for Life by Rear Admiral E.T. Olsen.  While Michael Biehn might not be a true American hero like all of the Navy SEALs we hear about, he sure as hell looks good playing one in movies.

One of the great shouting matches of our time:

Comic-Con'do Musings: Cinematic Cyclops

Hugh Jackman is about to play Wolverine for the 6th time.  That's as many times as there are Superman movies.  More times than cinematic Spider-Man and one less than Batman.  Where 5 actors have played Batman and his mask Bruce Wayne, Hugh has played Wolvie each and every time.  Soon he'll venture into Roger Moore James Bond territory.  This past Saturday in Hall H he appeared on the FOX panel for two different movies, playing the same character!

Anyone who has read X-Men knows Wolverine is the moody hot head with unbreakable bones, claws that pop out of his knuckles, healing factor and gravity defying hair.  While the level headed leader who fires optic blasts that shatter mountains is Cyclops.  Calm, cool and collected yet a babe magnet (Jean Grey, Psylocke, White Queen) and badass in his own right; Cyclops has never been given any cinematic credit.  In X-Men he isn't phased by Logan's tantrums but doesn't have much to do besides be the punch line, have his girlfriend hit on and not be able to land a jet.  In part II, he has a quick fight scene, gets captured, mind controlled and forgotten for much of the running time.  His minutes quickly run out in X3 as Cyke is in brooding mode over the loss of Jean Grey and then seemingly vaporized by her returning spirit/ghost/whatever.  Poor James Marsden...but seriously, he's doing alright.

My theory is that the X-Men movies were made too late.  If this were a 90's joint, prime time of the buddy picture, we could have had a great cinematic version of Cyclops played by none other than the sensitive action hero himself, Michael Biehn.  Biehn was the rare breed of "action" hero that was equal parts handsome, physical, courageous and vulnerable.  Look to his performance as the lovelorn, time traveling, father of the future Kyle Reese in The Terminator.  Or as soft spoken, take command under pressure while fighting Xenomorph hordes, Corporal Hicks in Aliens.  Or maybe his greatest cinematic Cyclops similarity, Lieutenant James Curran in 1990's Navy Seals where he's paired with bad boy Charlie Sheen.

In Seals, Biehn plays a leader who is strong yet compassionate and carries the responsibility of protecting his team while still managing to get the girl.  Sheen plays hot dog Hawkins, the brash, "shoot first, ask questions never" type who tries to get the chick but fails.  His recklessness ends up costing the life of a team member and gets him into a verbal beatdown with Curran, who is holding the stone of grief.  By the end of the film Hawkins has to give up his selfish ways in order to save Curran's life and get the team to safety.

This dynamic absolutely could have worked with Cyclops and Wolverine.  If you'd like a classier example because you're a movie snob who's never seen Navy Seals but judges anyway because you saw Clerks; I give you Lethal Weapon's Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson, best dad ever in The Patriot) and Roger Murtaugh (Danny "Damn birds" Glover).  One's crazy, one's calm, one shoots to kill, the other to wound and question.  Or just look to Leonardo (leads) and Raphael (cool but crude) from Ninja Turtles.  It's the same damn thing. 

But X-Men was a gamble, big budget comic book movies were far from the norm in 2000; so much so that FOX hedged their bets around the mysterious loner/badass character, had drafts of the film titled Wolverine and the X-Men, shut down production midway to reassess and the fact that it was a hit and spawned 4 sequels is a bit of a movie miracle.  Besides, Cyclops is already dead during the Days of Future Past story arc so we can't really complain about his absence.

Ah well, maybe someday, after Hugh Jackman stops playing Wolverine we'll get a decent onscreen adaption of Cyclops.

Here's the golf scene from Navy Seals featuring Biehn, Sheen, Bill Paxton, Dennis Haysbert and Rick Rossovich among others just cause: