Sneak Cinema: The Hateful Eight

Last night, The Crest Theater in Westwood hosted a press screening of The Weinstein Company and Quentin Tarantino's latest opus, The Hateful Eight. In attendance were several movie critic types from internet, TV and OG Leonard Maltin himself. Much has been made about the production of Eight that was shot on 70mm film to harken back to the good ol' days in the 60's where going to the movies was an event. People dressed up, received programs and the films included beginning overtures as well as an intermission. If I remember correctly, the ultra wide scope was an effort to draw audiences to the theater instead of watching programs on their rinky dink televisions at home. The road show angle faded and 70mm became obsolete as the cinematic landscape changed as it always does. Last year, noted film fan Christopher Nolan unveiled his space epic Interstellar at less a dozen theaters still equipped with 70mm projection equipment. Tarantino and The Weinstein's are upping the ante by outfitting 100 plus theaters with 70mm projection. To make it more of a special event, shows in 70 include extra footage too boot.

From the opening credits last night, something was amiss. The bold font of OVERTURE was fine but underneath it, a silhouette of a horse and carriage kept throbbing in and out of focus. People murmured and complained to the PR staff who had no explanation. Generally a tech run happens during the day to make sure the picture and sound are up to par. Nolan personally checked out several theaters to make sure Interstellar was being presented the way he intended while Michael Mann did the same at The Egyptian for a repertory screening of The Last of the Mohicans, heck, Dolph Lundgren did a tech check when they hosted the Skin Trade premiere. Why this didn't happen on this night for this movie, who knows. Apparently some viewers were more upset than others and berated the PR staff leading to a swap to a Digital Print after the intermission. The result? The Hateful Eight looked a lot cleaner and more detailed. While the picture was crisper, I felt the sound lost a bit of impact though. After the film, the crowd exited still grumbling about the technical issues while I made an effort to thank the PR and theater staff because at the end of the day, shit happens, it's just a movie after all.

Now on the one hand, the evening could be seen as a disaster. After all this is a press screening meant to promote a throwback experiment turned event. This was the night meant to build an ally of armies to take back a piece of the business and show what film could do for future generations. Tarantino is a huge proponent of film and runs The New Beverly basically to preserve the medium. But if you can't even get it to work at a "special" event for a special event, what chance does the film have for general viewings multiple times a day? At a screening in New York recently, the projector broke down leading to a 60 minute impromptu Q&A with attending stars Kurt Russell, Walton Goggins and crew while a gear was replaced. Looks like dusting off a buried for 40 years technology for one film and one filmmaker needed more time to work out the kinks.

On the other hand, watching the film in a room full of critics made me realize something, I love movies but hate critics. I've always been vocal about critics being parasites who wouldn't exist without someone else's work. If there's no movie, they have nothing to talk/complain about, simple logic. They see everything early and for free yet they're ungrateful and demanding. It's not like they're creating something or putting themselves out there to be "judged". What was that quote from Theodore Roosevelt about the man in the arena? Something about giving him credit for striving to do the deeds while critics point out stumbles without knowing victory or defeat themselves? Or in this case they're jockeying for Facebook Likes and covering the same mainstream, Marvel movie news that a million other folks are. It's kind of like a barnacle that hitch hikes on a whale then complains there isn't enough plankton around. Go find your own plankton on your own steam then, pal.

There was no energy in the room, dead as dodos. I can only imagine how many times an opening night crowd of actual movie lovers would break out into applause during Hateful Eight's 3 hour run time. A person behind me even complained that the film had an intermission! Apparently they'd never seen a film that included one and basically missed the point of how Eight was being presented entirely. While it seemed like plenty of people were upset, even pissed off, I didn't notice anyone leaving. The moral? It's easier to blah blah blah than to do.

Grudgement Day: Paul Bettany VS Jason Statham

It's been a love-not love summer for Jason Statham and Marvel as rumors swirled that he was up for the role of Bullseye in Netflix's second season of Daredevil. It seems like it was an unfounded piece of gossip as The Punisher and Elektra have been announced thus far with no mention of the crazy and accurate assassin. In June while promoting comedy Spy, Statham expressed his disdain for Marvel films and tentpoles that rely on green screen, stunt doubles and $200 million dollar budgets as he's inspired by old school action heroes and in this day and age, you could put his grandma in a cape and put her into the action. Incredible Hulk Mark Ruffalo laughed it off with a faux throw of the gauntlet while actual caped Marvel hero The Vision aka Paul Bettany appeared on Conan O'Brien and admitted he was an actor and would let stunt men do their job while suggesting Statham get an acting double. It was all in jest with Jennifer Connelly's husband claiming he wouldn't want to run into the Stath but of course, the ol' internet saw it as a "slam" or "bitch slap". Going back to their original comments, you can clearly see it's just a usual case of getting worked up for nothing. Statham's comments are not untrue as you literally could take anyone and using CGI, stunt doubles, editing, green screen and a good choreographer, put them into the middle of an action scene. But not everyone can do a fight, flips or spills in a single, large shot. But it does shine an interesting light on our current view of what makes a leading man.

To me, it hearkened back to Sylvester Stallone claiming that Michael Keaton strapping on fake muscles for Batman effectively changed cinemas perspective of being heroic. While guys like Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson and Clint Eastwood oozed machismo and were physical, they weren't the bodybuilding action heroes of the 80's that Sly, Arnold and Jean-Claude Van Damme ushered in. Along with icons of the era like Chuck Norris, Carl Weathers, Steven Seagal and Dolph Lundgren, each of these cinematic tough guys had a background anchored in sports and physicality. Beefy muscles became cliche and more athletic everyman heroes like Keanu Reeves, Nicolas Cage and Matt Damon took center stage. Yet now everyone is in shape again and taking their shirts off on camera. Chris Pratt became a leading man because he dropped 60 pounds. Brad Pitt still looked great for a scene in Fury. Chris Hemsworth and Evans always have a moment in their Marvel films to show off the goods and even serious actor Robert Downey Jr. has to hit the gym for Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes. Hugh Jackman's hulking transformations into Wolverine have defined his career. The only difference is, none of these guys could kick you in the face or break blocks of ice with their bare hands.

On the flip side, is Jason Statham a bad actor or simply typecast as a growling smart ass? As with anyone on the above list, stars become stars because viewers like them in a specific type of role. From Stallone gaining weight and going back to drama for Copland or Jim Carrey ditching laughs for The Truman Show to Hemsworth playing funny in Vacation, no actor wants to constantly repeat himself. It would be nice to see Statham in a light ensemble piece like Snatch or The Italian Job again but those lower budget action fests probably pay him a lot better. He did show some smarts by playing opposite Melissa McCarthy in Spy and took on The Rock for Furious 7 this summer. Paul Bettany has worked with everyone from Peter Weir to Ron Howard opposite Johnny Depp and Tom Hanks but has he ever had his name above a title? A quick search on Facebook shows Statham has 52 million fans while Bettany tops out at...62 THOUSAND. Perhaps Statham can go back to his character actor roots as he gets older while Bettany continues to be a respected character actor that will never be a star. In the end, they're both doing just fine.

Grudgement Day: Whiplash

Being a movie lover people assume I follow the Oscars but I actually think they're kinda bullshit.  Why?  Because I don't have the tastes of a 70 year old white man, the presiding demographic in the Academy.  Of course their choices for Best Picture are usually easy to spot in the sense of a movie having some social merit, being based on a true story, being about stuffy British people or an underdog fighting for a cause.  Men lose weight or change their image to play against type and women get fat to ugly themselves up.  Blockbusters are usually left in the cold and if you want any chance of winning, you've got to hit the campaign trail attending special events, taking out ads and making sure there's suitable heat to your project.  In 2008, The Dark Knight made a mint at the box office and won critics over but the superhero film via Michael Mann's Heat was left without a 2009 Best Picture nomination.  Why?  Because it was about Batman and the Joker.  In a bid to make it look like they weren't entirely out of sync with the movie going public, The Academy opened up the number of Best Pic nominations from 5 to 10 in 2010.  While a movie about long established comic book heroes in costume wasn't celebrated, James Cameron's tall blue aliens would as Avatar picked up 9 nominations.  Go figure.

This year I enjoyed Birdman and The Imitation Game but one extremely undeserving Best Picture nominee really ruffled my feathers, the music drama Whiplash.  Made for a few million bucks by usual horror and genre label Blumhouse, Whip follows young wanna be drumming prodigy Andrew Neimann (Miles Teller) and his physically and emotionally abusive instructor Terrence Fletcher (J.K. Simmons).  We see Neimann try to balance life, love and his drive for greatness as he's berated, slapped and pushed by Fletcher.  Pretty typical underdog stuff, right?  Suffice to say, I thought this movie was bullshit.  I didn't even want to finish it. First off, I don't understand the appeal of Teller.  Some compare him to a young John Cusack because they're white and have the same kind of chin but Cusack at least had a quirky likeability in Say Anything, Better Off Dead and later Con Air, Grosse Pointe Blank and High Fidelity.  Teller just comes off as blank and forced to me.  Simmons, the likeable supporting actor from films like Juno, Spider-Man and I Love You, Man gets the showy role as the loud, abusive teacher.  He insults students for being fat, homosexual and stupid but strangely doesn't go racist.  If you're going to make him a total asshole why not have some balls and make him an asshole to EVERYONE?  Remember The Departed where all Boston cops and crooks were racist, homophobic and misogynist?  It won Best Picture.  Why exactly is playing an outright prick that impressive?  Because Simmons is usually a nice guy and here he plays an asshole?  That's notable?  Please.

Then don't get me started on how uneven this film is.  SPOILERS.  From Teller's character being this driven young man who practices long into the night, literally bleeding for his passion but then can't wake up on time for his big break.  Or the competition scene where he puts down the music folder to buy a drink and it gets stolen.  Who the fuck stole the folder?!  It's oh so convenient as it gives him the chance to step up but give me a fucking break.  At least show one of the other competing bands stealing it or reveal that Fletcher took it to teach someone a lesson.  But nope, nada.  Bullshit.  Then there's his uneven character who starts out as quiet, meek and awkward for the first act.  Then all of a sudden turns into The Social Network's Mark Zuckerberg and has a stinging one liner for everyone at the dinner table who minimizes his musical aspirations.  We never see that version of the character again.  How about the next competition where his bus gets delayed, he rents a car, forgets his stuff at the dealer, goes back then gets hits by a semi?!  Fletcher keeps harping about not letting the students fuck up his chances of winning competitions but he certainly puts them into compromising positions every chance he gets.  And how about that ending where Fletcher sets Neimann up during a prestigious show by giving him the wrong music, thus making the young drummer look foolish in front of an audience that could make or break his future career.  You're telling me that Fletcher is willing to risk the futures of the ENTIRE band to take his revenge on one kid?  Then of course Neimann picks himself up and goes into a show stopping drum solo that earns Fletcher's respect.  Just what the fuck man.  END SPOILERS.

I was quite surprised at the backlash Christopher Nolan's Interstellar received this year.  For some reason people thought it was going to be some kind of defining documentary on space travel when it's still a frigging movie that preserved the history of cinema and had ambition to spare.  Perhaps it reached too far and wasn't quite successful in blending the science and cinema but you had to admire the effort and the experience.  Did you see Nightcrawler?  What a terrific performance by Jake Gllynehaal as a creepy, funny and driven young man in the world of shock journalism.   Even that crazy Korean flick Snowpiercer was an unsettling, off the wall yet oddly charming observation of class told in a unique way.  With films like that overlooked for shit like Whiplash, it's just another reminder as to why I don't get into the Oscars.  Movies are supposed to be at their best entertaining, educational, emotional, enlightening, intriguing and/or inspirational.  I got none of those from this flick. Frustrating, man.

It's Real! The McRib Sandwich

I love McDonald's.  I love their fries, their Daily Double, the Chicken McNuggets, the McChicken, Dipped Cone, on and on.  According to that one documentary, I'm a heavy user of fast food because I eat it several times a month.  People often wonder how I can maintain my Jean-Claude Van Damme inspired physique while eating that "junk" and the answer is: I don't eat it every day at every meal and I work out so it equals out.  The doctor told me I was in excellent health at my last check up so again, chew on it.  With the rise of trendy eating habits and misinformation, McDonald's is facing it's worst performance levels in 10 years.  But make no mistake, they're not going anywhere.  I was shocked to see that McDonald's far and away outsells it's next 9 competitors, COMBINED.  That includes Chipotle, Subway (with their 43 ingredient bread), Burger King, Wendy's and Jack in the Box.  Just in the drive-thru burger game, McD's outsold BK by $73 BILLION burger bucks in 2013.  They put salads on the menu after a bunch of fat don'ters complained and it was one of their worst selling items so obviously when given the choice, the public, or at least the ones who eat at McDonald's yet complain about it, still want their deep fried, high calorie deliciousness.

Their limited time offer sandwich staple, The McRib, is currently back and today, a video was posted showing how exactly the rib shaped patties are made.  Sadly, it wasn't that clip from The Simpsons showing a cow being melted down and oozing out meat lava...In said video, a bow-tie wearing cool-guy teacher who was repulsed by some oh so official photo of a freezer burnt McRib on Twitter takes a tour of a supplier plant and sees up close and personal that the sammy is made up of real meat and spices.  Of course this could be some elaborate scheme and one time run of quality food for the cameras while real shipments are made up of tofu and sawdust but hey, it's out there and it's real, so deal with it.  They're more transparent than the freaking government is.  I love how skeptical people are about things they don't even care about, the people who complain about McDonald's don't even eat there but feel the need to talk shit on it.  How's that fake and unnecessary Gluten-Free diet working out for you?  Oh yeah, it was totally debunked by the guy who first brought it to public attention.  So unless you're part of the 1% of the population who has Celiac Disease, give it a fucking rest.  If you don't want to eat there, nobody is forcing you to so enjoy your air sandwich and fat free water.  I'll be over here enjoying my usual 3 sandwich and an ice cream cone order from the Golden Arches.

I've been seeing this for years and it all boils down to people being lazy.  Too lazy to workout consistently, too lazy to cook and too lazy to get educated.  Everything has to be do or die like a New Years Resolution that fills gyms with noobs who can't be bothered to read a book or magazine on working out or nutrition then stop going after a few weeks.  Forget that you can start seeing results in a few weeks but that's just not fast enough to turn around a lifetime of poor eating and low activity for some people.  I read once that the average gym member uses their membership 4 times a month so they keep paying, meaning to work out but just never do.  That's plain lazy and irresponsible.  So they just fall for whatever hype marketing dollars are touting on television or the local news is trying to scare you with.  Know anyone still doing P90X after the initial 90 days?  Remember when cupcakes were IT and before them it was Krispy Kreme?  It's not just food and fitness fads, how about Vaccinations causing Autism?  You know, where a study was released by a guy who would profit from lawsuits?  So now we have Whooping Cough, Measles and Polio back in full force?  Nice.  Ebola?  Oh yeah it's not airborne and our tally is at 3 cases, 1 death in a country of 300 million...EPIDEMIC!

Life moves in cycles, it shouldn't move in fads.  Read.  Research.  Get off your ass.  Be a doer.

(Pre) Grudgement Day: Captain America Three

It was reported today that Robert Downey, Jr. is in final negotiations to join the cast of upcoming Marvel sequel, Captain America Three.  It's rumored that the role would only require a few weeks work but RDJ requested his part be expanded upon in the threequel that will tackle the comic book inspired Civil War.  In Marvel's cash grab mini-series, Iron Man and Captain America find themselves on opposite sides of a new Superhero Registration Act that requires all costumed heroes to reveal their identities and work for the government at their beck and call.  Of course Cap thinks this imposes on his and society's civil liberties and refuses while ol' Shell Head attempts to put him in his place.  We've already seen Cap-Iron friction in The Avengers so looks like we'll see a few rounds between the two in 2016.

On paper, it makes sense, RDJ has been coy about a fourth Iron Man up until now and in my opinion, has shitty villains cinematically speaking.  In part One he faced a bigger version of himself, in part Two he fought a bigger version of himself and a bunch of drones then in Three he took on a Mortal Kombat style, fire breathing villain in lieu of comic staple The Mandarin.  So shoving him into Cap Three gives audiences more of the character, adds some heat to the project and gives RDJ another fat payday without being center stage and not having to work the entire production.  This rubs me the wrong way because I honestly don't feel like Captain America has gotten to be the star of either movie in his own franchise.

Let's rewind a few years.  At seven years old, my mom bought me a copy of Roger Stern and John Bryne's collected run of Captain America: War and Remembrance.  That spectacular 9 issue run forever ingrained Cap in my brain as my favorite hero.  I've long been annoyed by the fact that writers portray him as some flag waving, boring, football playing meathead.  The guy was a sickly youth in the Depression that took to books and art then lost both parents at a young age.  That doesn't make you a jock douchebag, that makes you sensitive and complicated.  When his body catches up to his mind and ideals thanks to a bath of vita-radiation and shot of Super Soldier Serum, Steve Rogers becomes the embodiment of the man who can stand up and fight back.  Not because he's told to, because he wants to and now has the power to do so.  With every heart breaking event that happens to him, the passing of his mother, watching his best friend die, fighting in World War II, losing 50 years of his life in suspended animation, etc, Cap never loses the ability to learn from his experience and move on.  Never becoming jaded or cynical, his resolve is resolute.  He's not some flag waving propaganda tool, when a KKK like group demonstrates in Central Park, Cap doesn't automatically go after them, it may pain him but it's their right to speak their mind in a legal, non-violent fashion.  If they were to get out of line, he'd also be the first one to punch them back into shape.

So it's really frustrating that Cap can't even star in his own film.  Sure, sure, I liked the use of Peggy Carter, the Howling Commandos, Bucky, whoever Tommy Lee Jones played, the Red Skull, Arnim Zola and Howard Stark in the first film but part Two was literally the SHIELD movie.  It's like Cap has to be the place holder of the Marvel Movie Universe.  Want to know what happens after The Avengers?  Here ya go.  Think there should be a Black Widow movie?  This is a nice warm up.  Gotta keep the struggling television show relevant?  Ok we'll just go ahead and destroy the whole thing while hanging out with Robyn, Robert Redford and Samuel L. Jackson's Nick Fury.  Correct me if I'm wrong but pretty sure Iron Man only teamed up with a little kid for 20 minutes while that annoying blonde love interest showed up for a few scenes along with Don Cheadle's War Machine in their third installment.  Then in Thor Two, Loki had a part to play but was far from close to stealing the show or runtime from the God of Thunder.  Heck, they even got some family drama and light love triangle stuff in.

I'd be interested to see Cap going on an actual solo journey with familiar faces popping up along the way.  If we're talking comics, remember the time Cap shot a guy at the airport then gave up being Captain America when the Government tried to make him their lackey?  Steve goes underground, ends up fighting crime under a new moniker while the government enlists a mentally unstable, roided out patriot named John Walker who goes crazy and Steve has to take the mantle back, with his fists.  In the comics, former partners The Falcon and Bucky assume the Cap mantle and there's already fans clamoring for that.  Why is Cap the only hero in the Marvel Movie U that you could replace as an actor or character?  Fans would shit a brick if tomorrow we found out RDJ was being replaced by Zac Efron or if Liam Hemsworth picked up the hammer for Thor Three, I'm sure we'd all notice.  While DC's big blue boy scout, Superman, one of the most uninteresting characters out there due to his god like power but constant exploited weakness, Cap just can't seem to get no respeck as writers and creators keep treating him like a one note superhero when he is a whole lot more.

And where the heck is the Got Dammed Infinity Gauntlet already?!

Grudgement Day: Con-Man

I'm trying to think what my first Comic Convention experience was, I believe it was a small show in my hometown at a local hotel meeting room or Elks Lodge.  I must have been in middle school because my dad took me and patiently accompanied me as I checked out the tables full of back issues.  There were a few artists set up for meeting fans but I didn't know who the heck they were yet.  I picked up a short stack of comics and happily went on my way.  The regular flea market and toy shows at the Fair Grounds always had comics for sale but they weren't the main focus.  The Mid-Ohio Con in Easton was a decent sized show at the Hilton, I hear they moved to a bigger venue then were acquired by Wizard World in 2010.  A little history shows that Mid-Ohio Con used to be held in my hometown in the early 80's complete with guests like John Bryne, Frank Miller, Stan Lee and Kevin Eastman!  In 2004, my friends and I attended our first major show, Wizard World Chicago.  Mind you, this was when Wizard was still a magazine and not some company that randomly ran conventions and held stake in a now defunct MMA league.  My buddies and I drove from Ohio to Chi-Town, riding the train, eating pizza and breaking door frames in our hotel with a chin up bar (yup, I was working out on any schedule in any situation even back then).

Wizard World Chicago was a lot of fun.  The floor seemed pretty big and I picked up all kinds of good swag like a Jack Kirby Captain America trash can, lots of comics, probably a bust or two and then we saw him, mother fucking Rob Liefeld had a table and was doing sketches.  I don't recall programming being much in those days at WWC so we plopped down in Liefeld's line to get an original piece of art.  Well, we learned the hard way that a guy can only sketch so many sketches in an hour and we were way back in line.  We ended up getting some comics signed and chit chatting with the former Marvel superstar artist and creator of X-Force turned co-founder of Image Comics.  Since we weren't coming back the next day, Liefeld told us to e-mail him and he'd send us something.  10 years later and I'm still waiting.  Plus he was a dick on Twitter and friends with a negative neckbeard movie "critic" so my days of supporting him are long gone.  Unlike Jim Lee who is just the coolest, most random guy you could ask for in the industry.  He brought Mrs. Fields cookies to the audience one time, changes up his panel focus every time and generally loves to spread the gospel of comic books.

Today, Wizard Magazine is no more but Wizard World Conventions are EVERYWHERE.  Literally.  There are 25 shows across the country with a focus on celebrity signings, cast reunions and of course, comic book writers and artists.  It's where Pop Culture comes to life says their website and what gets the most real estate on said site?  The revolving list of celebrities you can pay to meet.  A guy from the Harry Potter movies, someone from a 90's TV show, a Star Trek cast member or 7, etc.  There's Admission then there's VIP Admission so you can bypass lines, hobnob with guests and get the best seating at panels for an upcharge.  What's wrong with all of that?  Technically nothing, more comic conventions are a good thing.  I travel to 8-10 shows a year but haven't been to a Wizard World since Chicago.  These are no longer comic book conventions, they're pop culture conventions.  Having attended shows big and small, happy and sad, I consider shows like Wizard World and Salt Lake City new-age types with their focus on celebrities to bring casual fans in then include comics, artist alleys and special events.  It's a nice mix for the most part as you can go see one of your favorite actors at a spotlight panel then look around the floor for comics and swag.  Artist Alley is always fun and I've met a couple of cool peeps who get to make a living doing what they love.  Most of the time they're selling personal takes on beloved genre movies and TV titles rather than hocking their own comic book or creations though.

So what's the point of all of this?  I dunno, I just feel like all this prodding of fans for more and more dinero is not good for the convention scene and why Comic-Con International's San Diego and Wonder Con remain by far the greatest example of a show.  Why?  Because they're a celebration of the popular arts.  They produce 3 solid shows a year and aren't trying to take over the world. They're non-profits but provide the absolute best experience one could ask for, as long as you're ready for the crowds and lines.  Once inside, your ticket grants you access to every event and can keep you busy from 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM if you've got the energy.  No Paid Events, no Additional Ticket required, none of that.  Wizard World and SLCC are businesses out to make money and are now using their size to pummel fans and competition alike.  For example, fan clubs used to get free tables at WW shows to boost awareness and raise money for charity but now they have to shell out hundreds of dollars just to get a space.  Kind of tough when you're not there to sell merchandise.  Then there's the cases of Wizard World moving into new territory in what seems like a bid to dominate the local scene, which they deny.  Take for example Minneapolis, Minnesota where Wizard World scheduled their show two weeks before long running local non-profit SpringCon after failing to acquire the brand.  However, SpringCon claims the beef gave them a boost in public profile, similar to what Salt Lake received when San Diego sued them.

But doesn't the abundance of shows give more awareness to the peeps over in Artist Alley?  Yes, I'm not saying WW is evil or should hold less shows, I just wish we got more variety.  I fear we're getting into cookie cutter conventions here so one show will be like any other just in a different town.  The same celebs tour the country at these shows, selling the same things, telling the same stories.  More crowds for celebs means more foot traffic for Artists but when you're making the lions share of profits from selling prints, magnets and stickers based on someone else's ideas, I figure you might get tired of it, like a talented band who can only book gigs doing covers of well known groups because no one will pay them to play their own material.  Whereas Comic-Con boasts over 1,000 panels with 100's of guests/speakers from fans to professionals covering just about every topic known to man like writing, drawing, painting, collaborating, social themes, legal advice and how-to, Wizard Shows maybe eek out a few dozen panels, most of them spotlights on well known celebs or artists. 

Oh well, maybe this new abundance of shows will help ease the crowds in San Diego.  With an attendance cap and Hollywood interest waning, it'll be nice for us die-hards if there's a few less people cramming the aisles.  I'd like to see specific subject shows grow like the He-Man/She-Ra Power-Con (which couldn't make it in New York), Bot-Con, G.I. Joe Con, Austin's Mondo Con and am looking forward to Los Angeles' latest, Comic Arts Los Angeles, a free event to promote the world of comic books, graphic novels and the creators behind them.

Grudgement Day: Twitter Beef aka Just Say No to Thinspo

or AKA Tweef! AKA VienDammage breaks the internet, again.

Had my first Tweef! (Twitter Beef) this week with a local dining establishment that provided some horrible service on my initial and final patronage.  Basically, a delivery order was delayed and instead of actually telling me or the online service they just let me wait.  I called to get an update they said it was out for delivery and should be there soon.  Since I only live 2 miles away you'd think quick would be quick.  30 minutes go by and I call again but no one answers.  Twice.  What's next?  I go to the internets to say I had a horrible experience so others can avoid my fate of waiting 90 minutes for a soggy and lukewarm order.  The online service apologized but not a peep from the actual perpetrators at fault.  2 weeks later they respond.  Do they ask what happened?  Nope, they hit me with a surprisingly immature knee jerk reaction which I promptly responded to and off we went.  Since I did nothing wrong and had my facts, there wasn't a reason to go the simple insult route like they did.  Finally they said I was lying about calling so I went ahead and grabbed a snippet from my phone bill that shows the date and 2 times I tried calling without answer.  That seemed to shut them up but I wasn't done, I wanted to make sure the online service knew what kind of clown shoes establishment they were representing and that I would never, knowingly use their service again.  They responded pretty quickly and apologized but we're way past that.  Part of me wants to reply again and ask if the establishment has anything else to say but I guess that could be viewed as instigating.

Today I saw that former Man VS Food host Adam Richman got himself into hot water over some comments made on the ol' internets.  Richman has lost 70 pounds since his days as host of a show that finds him taking on local eating challenges and is living a new, healthier lifestyle.  Like anyone proud of themselves, Richman posted something bragging about his weight loss but tagged it "Thinspiration" and people took offense, he didn't help himself by telling people to go kill themselves.  His new show is now on hiatus.  Thinspo, I think, is some movement of knobby kneed, insecure women who post about how no meal is as good as being skinny or better skinny and hungry than fat, etc.  It's a two way street when it comes to weight these days.  If you're skinny or fat and happy, who cares.  If you're either of those and unhappy, well, here comes the boom boom boom.  As a former chubby kid, it literally boils down to personal will and education.  Want to lose weight?  Make better eating choices and be more active.  It's really that simple.  If your weight doesn't define you then even better, keep living like a rational adult and forget about these first world problems.  End of the day nobody's going to do it for you so if you're unhappy, do something about it.  Dammaged Goods does not support thinspirational but I do advocate ripspiration as getting in shape is equal parts physical and mental.  Remember what Jack LaLanne said, Nutrition is Queen and Fitness is King, together they form a Kingdom.  Of Ripspiration! And you know what's really cool?  Being cool with yourself!

A friend told me I broke the internet once when I asked a rude user where they lived and if they wanted to meet and say things to my face.  That person never responded again.  But hey, if you won't say it, don't type it.  #EndCyberBullying.  With my Twitter victory, I'll go ahead and say I broke the internet one more time.  See ya later and stay positive.

Grudgement Day: Beastie Boys and Jack White

*WARNING: Grudgement style language ahead*

"Jack White has just done a song for Coca-Cola. End of. He ceases to be in the club. And he looks like Zorro on doughnuts. He's supposed to be the poster boy for the alternative way of thinking… I'm not having that, that's fucking wrong. Particularly Coca-Cola, it's like doing a fucking gig for McDonald's." - Noel Gallagher

Oh sup man?  You want to talk some shit?!  It's a musical guest week here at Grudgement Day, my personal vendetta against all things I find BS.  Apparently, Jack White of The White Stripes did an interview with Rolling Stone recently where his comments about The Black Keys, Adele, Lana Del Rey, Amy Winehouse and his own former wife and bandmate Meg White were heralded as insults.  Shortly after, White offered a massive apology to all involved.  It's not the first time White has lost his temper and then come crawling back like a puppy asking for forgiveness.  There was the celebrity filled audience he called "hip mother fuckers" and chastised for not "rocking out" before apologizing at the end of the night.  Then there was his take on the superficiality of Lady Gaga's music which he quickly explained was not an insult.  Do you see a pattern forming here?  I'm not much of a White Stripes fan but a little research tells me they were formed in 1997, released their first album in 1999 and after 6 albums, broke up in 2011.  So let me get this straight, a guy who has been living the dream for over 20 years, made millions, has a fanbase and is world famous is apologizing for his opinion on other artists?  What a bitch ass.  Say what you feel and feel what you say, Jack!  Aren't you a little too old and too rich to care?

This is just another reason why Noel and Liam Gallagher are awesome.  Even in their early days, OASIS proclaimed to the biggest and the best band in the world.  This instantly made them targets to naysayers and Don'ters but hey, they're in the Guinness Book of World Records as the UK's Most Successful Band for a 10 year span.  Anytime a journalist asked them an honest or insult baiting question, the brothers Gallagher responded truthfully, not to come off as insulting but let's face it, nobody in the world likes everything or everybody so why act like it?  Remember that time Noel's comments about Jay-Z playing Glastonbury were taken out of context and all of a sudden he was a racist, out of touch, old man?  And did he apologize?  Hell no!  When asked, he simply reminded lazy journalists to refer to verbatim quotes where not a single derogatory thing was said about Jay-Z and it all went away and he's still a top selling artist.  Ska-doosh!  #NoGrandmaMode

A couple days ago, a blurb about The Beastie Boys and Arnold Schwarzenegger caught my eye.  According to them, the marketing team of Arnold's Sabotage approached them with a lucrative offer to use their song of the same name in the movie's promotional efforts on TV in trailers, etc.  The Boys turned down the offer, citing deceased member Adam Yauch's request that their music never been used in commercials or ad campaigns.  Pretty highfalutin ideals coming from a trio of dudes whose music about partying, girls and brass monkeys have become anthems for white, suburban frat boys around the country.  But it's fair, you don't want to turn into Coldplay or The Black Keys and have your shit blasted over everything from Network spots, NASCAR advertisements, and commercials for cars, computers, underwear and clothes to whatever else the fuck marketing low foreheads use trendy music for.  But then they had to throw in a line about not being fans of Schwarzenegger's recent work.  The Boys went on to state they can't make new music or tour or make money.  So you won't sell yourself out or pursue new ventures but then you complain about not being able to make money. Sounds like self induced starving artist shit to me.  Ironically, Sabotage is the only song of theirs I like, remember the music video?

Smooches.

Grudgement Day: David Letterman

Did you hear David Letterman is retiring?  I even got an e-mail from Twitter about it...and I just turned off all notifications from them.  You know how some people just rub you the wrong way?  Like that scene in The Weatherman, where some random couple watching Nicolas Cage on television, the man says he doesn't like his face or name and thinks he's bullshit.  That's how I feel about Letterman.  I've never been much of a late night viewer, only catching highlights or YouTube clips of guests I like.  So the handful of interviews I've seen with Jean-Claude Van Damme or Arnold with Letterman, the host just always comes off like a smarmy prick.  Maybe that's his schtick but you can tell he is either jealous or thinks he's better/smarter than them which makes for extremely awkward exchanges and not a very good time.

Whereas Jay Leno, whom people like to give a hard time, always seems to be having fun on his show and with his guests.  He's not trying to play hardball with them, he's trying to entertain the audience in studio and at home.  Which to me, is the point of these kinds of programs, to get your daily news with a laugh while winding down from a long day.  Then there was Letterman's rant against Food Network host Rachael Ray and culinary based programming in general.  Something about how people are starving but who cares, let's watch a show about cupcakes.  As if his fucking existence and livelihood didn't thrive on the lavish and wasteful lifestyles of the rich and shameless.  Apparently Letterman likes to keep his charitable side a secret so I have no clue how much of his reported $14 million a year salary he spends on helping others or going to Africa to feed the hungry.  Oh yeah, then he admitted to having sex with female interns and staff members before apologizing in the midst of a blackmail attempt.  So hey, go fuck yourself, smart guy.

Looking good, Arnold:

Grudgement Day: George RR Martin

"I mean, The Flash is actually managing to do moderately well,

despite the fact that it is appallingly bad."

     - George RR Martin, circa 1990

Welcome to Grudgement Day, where I call Bullshit on things I just think are Bullshit.  People sometimes think I have an anger issue but I don't.  I just have a critically low tolerance for Bullshit.  Today, let's talk about Game of Thrones author George RR Martin.  In the 80's and 90's, Martin was working in television on shows like The Twilight Zone, Max Headroom and Beauty and The Beast.  While trying to prep a super hero centric show, he made the above disparaging remark about CBS' big budget adaptation of DC Comics' The Flash.  Now, everyone is entitled to their opinion and I'm entitled to mine.  Martin's show never saw the light of day and with his TV career stalling, went back to novels and in 1996, A Game of Thrones was published.  Four novels have followed and in 2007, cable juggernaut HBO purchased the rights and here we are, a month away from the launch of season 4.

I've seen every episode of the show thus far and my lady has read all the books.  While it has it's merits, interesting characters, shocking moments and whatnot, overall you know what?  It's fucking Bullllshittttttt.  Nothing happens.  The entire show is based on who holds the throne and who will control the lands while centering on the death of Eddard Stark, head of the Stark Clan and ruler of Winterfell.  But what has happened in 30 hours of programming?  Has anybody taken revenge for Eddard?  Hell no!  Has the much mentioned battle for the throne happened?  Yeah right!  Stark's bastard son cries, gets sent to a wall, cries, escapes, cries, gets kidnapped by marauders, cries, escapes from them, cries some more.  Stark's youngest daughter is all about taking revenge for her dad but when she's asked by Batman/Ninja like soldiers who she wants dead, does she name anyone responsible for her father's death?  NO!  Then they invite her to come train with them at Batman/Ninja school, you know, where she could learn how to 187 the fools who killed her father and tore her family apart...and she refuses so she can wander around the woods some more.

Another issue with the show is that there's so many God Damme characters in it whose storylines amount to diddly squat.  Squat!  Rob's one friend who takes Winterfell with 20 soldiers in 5 minutes then gets kidnapped by some random guy who cuts his deal off? Ok...Instead of actually moving forward in the Stark or Dragon Queen story line, we just get more characters, more subplots and more BS deaths that take things nowhere.  Hey, what's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones?  Twitter only allows 140 characters.  Season 3 needed TWO full episodes just to catch you up on all of the frigging storylines taking place.  When I ask if my issues have been resolved in the 5,000 pages of novel, I'm told the answer is no.  So it's double bullshit.  Sorry I'm not sorry The Flash could actually tell an enjoyable/exciting/funny/dramatic story in each episode with only a few lead characters and a handful of supporting players.  Sorry I'm not sorry that they didn't try to lead the audience on waiting for a payoff that you know will either not be forthcoming or be worth the wait.  But hey, people love to stand in line for 30 minutes for hot dogs and hamburgers yet talk down on McDonald's so I guess they deserve the circle jerking.

Smooches.