Clint's Luck: Everybody Loves a Winner

 

'I don't pretend to understand losers...Winners tell themselves, 

"I'm as bright as the next person. I can do it. Nothing can stop me."' 

- Clint Eastwood on why audiences like him playing a winner

While I'm not speeding through it like Arnold's Total Recall, I'm 500 pages into the "warts and all biography" on screen legend Clint Eastwood, The Life and Legend, by Patrick McGilligan. For the most part you gather that Clint likes to keep fit, pal around with macho dudes, changes friends and professional colleagues every few years, loves the ladies but never really wanted kids and really likes saving money. There's great and shocking stories aplenty like the time Clint ran his truck into a car parked in his space when there were another 5 open or the time he locked out live in ladyfriend Sandra Locke and put all her stuff into boxes in the driveway. She would sue him later and settle.

Gotta Go! Universal Studios & Islands of Adventure Orlando

After spending a mad dash time at Disney World, we ventured to Universal Studios & Islands of Adventure the next day. There's two separate parks so again we opted for a Hopper that would get us into both. Like Los Angeles, there's a vibrant scene of restaurants and shops before the park. Unlike Disney World, these two parks were more or less connected so you didn't need to hop on a 15 minute shuttle bus ride. Right away you walk into a section of Beverly Hills streets and there's the Terminator 2 3D show Battle Across Time. This has closed in LA but was still packing them in at Orlando. It's been a couple years since I saw the show and I was impressed by how much pageantry and set up there is between the Cyberdyne waiting room with host, warm up video and pre-show in the theater with actors, pyrotechnics, giant props and the like. The finale fills the theater with fog and then your seats drop, it was truly shocking. Masters of the Universe director and theme park attraction specialist Gary Goddard worked closely with James Cameron to produce the immersive show that transports you to the Future War to take on a T-1 Million. Arnold, Edward Furlong and Linda Hamilton all reprise their roles from the 1991 summer blockbuster for a 12 minute short film that cost an alleged $24 million!

Walking around there were plenty of other movie and TV tie-ins like The Simpsons Land, a Men In Black ride along with the flying train and Delorean from Back to the Future III! The big noise however was for the recently opened Harry Potter land. There's a London looking facade but walk through the doors and you're transported to Diagon Alley, an intricate reproduction of one of the films' major settings. You had sweet shops, gift shops, wand shops and stands selling Butter Beer which was surprisingly tasty and not too sweet. There's a couple rides, a fire breathing dragon perched atop a building and you can take the Hogwart's Express to the other park but it was a long wait.

Between the parks was a Hard Rock Cafe which offered double Jameson's for just $3 bucks more next to a giant steampunk chocolate factory and restaurant. Straight out of Willy Wonka, it was a truly unique establishment even if I couldn't figure out the theme of the food. I'd long heard about Island of Adventure from Wizard Magazine as in the 90's they had a Marvel restaurant with props and suits way before any studio backed film had come out. Right away we hit Marvel land which had a Hulk roller coaster, a Spider-Man 3D ride, gift shops and a Captain America diner! Cyclops, Cap and Wolverine were strolling the streets and buildings had giant images of Captain America fighting MODAK! These were truly my people. Walking further and further in there were more lands with old school comics and cartoons like Flash Gordon, the Phantom and Blondie then there was Jurassic Park and a new attraction based on Kong: Skull Island. In the back was another Harry Potter land with snow capped buildings, more gifts and several more rides. The one we went on was kind of crazy, it's a car on a track but you're in a seat hoisted by hydraulics with giant video screens taking you through various locales in the HP canon. While we didn't spring for it, Universal offers a Front of the Line pass, it's not cheap but you can also basically walk onto any ride so it would be worth it if you wanted to save half a day.

Gotta Go! Walt Disney World Orlando

This past November we made a quick trip to Orlando, Florida, home to Disney World, Universal Studios and Sea World. I was immediately impressed with the sheer size of the city and the amount of construction going on. Walt was on to something when he started picking up acres upon acres of swamp land back in the 1960's. Apparently Disney owns, designs and built the entire resort which houses something like 30 hotels and owns 24 of them. Unlike Disneyland where you can stay on property or in the resort and simply walk over, at Disney World we took an Uber to a parking lot then a ferry to the gate, no half day, in and out trips for this place. Driving around you see grass and bodies of water everywhere, apparently a swamp is a piece of land with lots of vegetation while ponds are just bodies of water? There's some general signage but you really can't see much of the parks at all from the road. There's four parks total, Magic Kingdom, Epcot Center, Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom. We opted for a Hopper pass and hit up three of the four parks in a single day, phew!

Magic Kingdom is basically like Disneyland with the castle and the main street and your different lands. In a nice touch you can set up your first three Fast Passes online once you buy tickets and there's cool spots like Gaston's Tavern and a Snow White mine car ride. Hollywood Studios houses shows and roller coasters along with one of the last Planet Hollywood's in the world, it's not even a restaurant though, just a gift shop with some 90's era photos of Stallone and life sized Arnold Terminator 2 prop. The Turner Classic Movie ride was a nice throwback to Hollywood but lines were insane for the Aerosmith coaster and Tower of Terror. Epcot has that giant golf ball looking thing and several science attractions along with beautifully designed sections of the world complete with people from those countries to work there. It was Food & Wine Fest time so it was PACKED. Tooling around Orlando was fun, most of our Uber drivers were from New York or Jersey and had just had enough of the cold weather. Target didn't sell hard booze but there was a liquor store next door so it worked out. Nearly every restaurant we went to asked if you wanted to make it a double for $2-3 bucks more, we couldn't afford not to!

All in it would be pretty easy to spend a few days or even a week in town as there was plenty to Disney and Orlando in general we didn't get to see. With so many hotel options prices were considerably less than in Anaheim, California. There's also an interesting trend of seafood offering buffets we didn't get to nosh at so next time it will be lobster-pocalypse.

Brawl Fall 1996: Steven Seagal

Since seeing Kurt Russell at Beyond Fest a couple months ago I've been revisiting his vast body of work like Tombstone, Captain Ron, Stargate, Big Trouble In Little China, Unlawful Entry, Miracle, Sky High and the 1996 classic action thriller Executive Decision. I'd nearly forgotten that Steven Seagal gets high billing but is killed off in the film's first act. Remember when I told you my theory that Dammaged Goods style action movies died in 1996? The kind starring charismatic, physical heroes who took care of the job with machine guns, muscles, martial arts and one liners? To refresh your memory, check out my piece on Sylvester Stallone, who along with Arnold Schwarzenegger, ushered in a cottage brand of action flick in the 80's and paved the way for lesser cinematic icons Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme. While no other action star would reach the heights of the two kings, mysterious Aikido expert and would be CIA agent Seagal nearly got there after bursting onto the scene with 1988's Warner Brothers starring vehicle Above the Law with no prior acting experience. The sub-$10 million flick grossed nearly $20 million.

Before that, Seagal had the distinction of allegedly being the first non-Japanese to open his own Aikido studio in the mother land. Working in Hollywood it's rumored that he broke Sean Connery's wrist while training the James Bond star for Never Say Never Again and impressed uber agent Michael Ovitz who got Seagal in with Warner Brothers. While Jean-Claude Van Damme toiled with low budget filmmakers, independent studios, first time directors, no name casts and $1 million budgets, Seagal had a major studio behind him and familiar faces beside him his first time out. Follow up Hard to Kill more than doubled Law's take and audiences were hooked on the tall, often pony tailed hero who spoke in whispers and took out dozens without ever taking a punch with painful looking joint locks and throws. Fight scenes in Seagal movies always elicited real groans and winces as it looked like people really got slammed into the floor or through a table. Seagal's "aura of invincibility" went with his mysterious past as a martial arts instructor in Japan coupled with his own hints of working with or for the CIA.

By 1992, Warner Brothers had already produced or distributed three of Seagal's four titles and backed Under Siege, a reported $35 million, Die Hard style actioner set on a battle ship. Above the Law director Andrew Davis had already lent a bit of class to Chuck Norris with Code of Silence before doing the same for Seagal on Law and was recruited for a second run. As former Navy S.E.A.L. turned cook Casey Ryback, Seagal fights, shoots, stabs and sabotages his way through a terrorist takeover lead by more than capable actors like Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey. A true action classic, Under Siege would open to $15 million opening weekend, good enough for the 9th largest of the year on it's way to an $83 million U.S. take and $156 million worldwide. Now on top of the world, Seagal would exercise his spirit and ego on his next film, the ecological themed On Deadly Ground, which he would also produce and direct. The $50 million Alaska set film takes on oil cartels and Inuit treatment head on while ending with a monologue by the star discussing how the world is dying. A noble endeavor but the film would gross less than half of Under Siege and earn few critical marks.

With success always comes controversy and rumors of Seagal's prickly attitude and unbelievable ego on and off set began to surface. A dispute with writers on Marked for Death, kicking Gary Busey off the sequel to Under Siege, thinking he could easily deliver an Academy Award winning performance if Hollywood hadn't pigeonholed him, taking potshots at JCVD on late night TV, misrepresenting the tribal nations people of Alaska, being accused of sexual harassment, Seagal's quick rise to the top was now catching up to him. Warner's had signed him to a four picture deal but pumped the brakes on Ground as the budget swelled to reevaluate. They also wanted any budget overages on 1995's $50-60 million Under Siege 2: Dark Territory to come out of the leading man's $10 million salary. Territory would hardly recapture the spirit, scale or excitement of the original but would still gross a solid $100 million worldwide.

But 1996's Executive Decision marked the beginning of the end. Long had Seagal carried a film as a super badass who never got hurt but now in Decision, he was making room for the guy who couldn't fight or shoot, the glasses wearing, tuxedo sporting analyst Kurt Russell. We see Seagal and his commando team slashing throats and taking out bad guys right away but it's Russell's smarts that save the day and stop a plane full of nerve agent from crashing into Washington D.C. While Seagal sacrifices himself for the mission and dies 40 minutes in, his career would never be the same. Warner Brothers fully backed Executive Decision with a reported $55 million budget, in house super producer Joel Silver (Die Hard, Lethal Weapon) was behind the scenes and legendary company editor Stuart Baird (Superman, Gorillas in the Mist) was making his directorial debut. I'm sure it was a shock in 1996 to see THE Steven Seagal get killed in the film but by the end you kind of forget he was even in it.

1996 follow up The Glimmer Man, a $45 million buddy picture with Keenan Ivory Wayans that he starred, produced and wrote music for, would gross a paltry $20 million compared to Decision's $69 million. 1997's  Fire Down Below, another big budget action movie with an environmental message, would only bring in $16 million, $3 million less than Above the Law had nearly 10 years earlier but with $40 million more budget. By 1998 the party was truly over as The Patriot went Direct to Video. Joel Silver would provide some career juice with 2001's Exit Wounds that was part of a short stint of martial artists paired with rappers that also gave us Jet Li's Romeo Must Die and Cradle 2 the Grave. From there it mainly DTV fare with Seagal gaining more and more weight but appearing in the films less and less with filmmakers not caring if the audience could tell they were using a double or not. Seagal would crank out 2-3 films a year and still command a $5 million fee while dealing with FBI investigations, private investigators and very public lawsuits from former associates that hinted at mafia involvement.

As the home video market fell out in the 2000's, Seagal's output stayed steady as budgets got smaller and schedules shorter. A stint on reality TV followed with the short lived Steven Seagal: Lawman as the fully commissioned deputy performed his civic duty for the Sheriff's office in Louisiana. A villainous turn in Robert Rodriguez's Machete marked a return to cinemas after a near 9 year layoff. Seagal hasn't lacked for work though as he's released SIX films in 2016 alone. His latest, Contract to Kill comes out this weekend and features none other than Dammaged Goods favorite Russell Wong so it will be the first Seagal flick I've actively watched in years. Now "put your hands up!".

Workout of the Day: Train with Zane

We all have measures of success, one of mine has long been attending San Diego Comic-Con for a week and attending a Train with Zane Experience. 20 minutes outside Downtown, tucked away in La Mesa is Zane's private residence and gym. A fixture of bodybuilding and fitness, Zane won the sports most prestigious title, Mr. Olympia, three years straight in 1977-1979 and was part of the "Golden Age" of body builders who trained and helped each other like Arnold, Franco Columbu, Dave Draper and many other California based luminaries. Zane has long been an inspiration as first, he was closer to my size at 5'9" and under 200 pounds, his symmetrical and defined physique coupled with a quiet yet confident and educated attitude was just easier to relate to on a personal level.

Zane welcomed me to his densely packed gym that's adorned with photos of his dogs, himself and magazine covers he and wife Christine have graced over the decades. His three Eugene Sandow Mr. Olympia trophies sat unpretentiously on a small shelf. I wasn't quite sure what to expect from my 3-hour Quick Zane Experience besides a rundown of nutrition and exercise advice mixed with Zane's philosophical approach. At first we sat and just talked, about my background, the path to La Mesa for the Zane's, the good old days, current competitive bodybuilding, on and on. In his 70's, Zane was a man more or less at peace with himself, never the show or sales man that Arnold was in their youth, he sure wasn't trying to be now. He's just a man who's gained experience and education through the years and is now passing it on to others if they can use it. It was a bit of a shock after getting to spend time with another idol, the younger and much more erratically energetic Jean-Claude Van Damme just a couple weeks prior. While JCVD was everything you'd hoped to be and more, up, down, over here, over there, hilarious and inspiring, Zane was more level and without even realizing, dropped heavy doses of knowledge that will stick with me for years to come.

When we stepped into the gym, Zane assessed my current physique, asking my routines and eating plans. Shockingly, drinking whiskey and eating happy hour food is not conducive to getting in optimum shape. When asked about my goals and motivations, I honestly came up blank with only short term items like shirts fitting too tight or just feeling a little dumpy. Zane shared that he peaked every September for 23 years and from there just tried to stay injury free and feel energized. I've long been a user of opposing muscle group supersets like Chest to Biceps or Back to Triceps but Zane had me try doing movements for one body part in a row like Incline DB Press to Decline Flys to Dumbbell Pullovers. That way you were keeping blood in the same general area without overly taxing your shoulders and joints. I must say that I felt the difference immediately. Zane had me slow down and really focus on the movement versus just trying to lift the weight. My arms started cramping up after just one tri-set of biceps, guess I should have warmed up...

With the afternoon winding down and needing to get back to town for Preview Night, Zane and I said our goodbyes with me purchasing a Train with Zane DVD to take home. While it was an educational if not all out 90's style adrenaline pumping workout video experience, I walked away with some heady issues to confront that influenced my Comic-Con week for better or worse. Using Zane's training techniques in the weeks and months after, I've noticed solid changes to troublesome body parts and feel slimmer as well. I'd definitely go back next time I'm in San Diego and would surely appreciate it more now that I know what to expect.

Good, Tough & Deadly Week: Read It!

Two San Diego Comic-Con's ago, a guy stopped me and asked, "you're that Van Damme guy, right?", referring to the Los Angeles screenings of Bloodsport, Double Impact and Universal Soldier I had set up with the likes of Sheldon Lettich, Brian Thompson, Harrison Page, Joey Ansah, Craig Baumgarten, Darren Shahlavi and Dolph Lundgren in attendance. Answering in the affirmative, David J. Moore introduced himself and from there we have enjoyed a terrific #ActionMovieBro dynamic that has traversed meals, conventions, screenings and premieres. A prolific writer for magazines of all genres, Moore had just released his first book, World Gone Wild: A Survivor's Guide to Post-Apocalyptic Movies that encapsulated nearly 1,000 reviews and dozens of cast and crew interviews. Now deep into a one of a kind look at action movies and films, Moore recruited me to provide a few last minute reviews as well as my Q&A turned print interview with Carl Weathers.

On Tuesday I received a copy of The Good, the Tough & the Deadly: Action Movies & Stars 1960- Present, from Schiffer Publishing. Published author could now be checked off my imaginary list of life accomplishments and/or goals. What struck me immediately was the size and heft of the tome that includes around 1,500 reviews and 80 some interviews. The hardcover art is gorgeous and inside are glossy pages and color photos galore. Moore's introduction sets up the parameters of the book, this being a guide of action stars who came from an athletic or professional background. So Arnold from bodybuilding, Jean-Claude Van Damme from karate, Carl Weathers, Jim Brown and Fred Williamson from football and Steven Seagal from Aikido, etc. Or actors generally identified by the action genre a la Charles Bronson and Sylvester Stallone. That means titles from the likes of big screen favorites Bruce Willis, Kurt Russell and Mel Gibson are not included. Moreover, I saw it as a study of the new type of action hero that emerged from the 1980's where Arnold and Sly were kings with JCVD and Seagal their eager successors. The type of larger than life hero who cut through red tape, took on an army of bad guys and got the job done. Usually while branding a machine gun, tossing a one liner or using their hands and feet to dispatch all enemies in bone breaking or face mashing fashion. While acting talent and charisma would be fairly overlooked in favor of muscular and hyper developed physicality.

In the 80's and 90's, Cannon Films and Carolco helped usher in the age of international box office while capitalizing on burgeoning home video revenue. While the four kings of action ruled theaters, less expensive alternatives, many from the worlds of kickboxing, bodybuilding and martial arts like Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Michael Dudikoff, Roddy Piper, David Bradley and Oliver Gruner could have their names above titles and faces brandished across posters and VHS boxes around the world. Good, Tough and Deadly is a study of these films; the muscles, machine guns and VHS era. Along for the ride with Moore are half a dozen contributors who produced nearly 1,500 reviews and conducted 80 interviews. Subjects range from golden age stars like Weathers, Lundgren and Wesley Snipes to writer/directors including Sheldon Lettich (Double Impact, Rambo III) and Craig Baxley (Action Jackson, Stone Cold) to PM Entertainment's once prolific Joseph Merhi. Modern age filmmakers like John Hyams, Jesse Johnson and Isaac Florentine along with stars Scott Adkins, Tony Jaa and Michael Jai White also get their light.

As a total 80's and 90's kid, I can certainly recall seeing VHS covers with Billy Blanks, Jeff Wincott, Gruner and more but never taking the plunge since I was catching up on JCVD or Seagal titles I couldn't see in a theater. And let's be honest, there's a reason why talent rises, they've got the IT factor Hollywood can't produce but loves to exploit. Don Wilson might be a more accomplished kickboxer than Van Damme but he's sure not as interesting to watch. So reading reviews and the thoughts of so many B-level stars without much knowledge of their work was interesting. No Retreat, No Surrender 2's Loren Avedon comes off as a bit egotistical, even when talking about being broke by 2000, eating crow and going from headlining low budget martial arts flicks to doing stunts anywhere he could. Or Gruner, a French Special Forces soldier and champion kickboxer turned low rent movie-star in the likes of Angel Town and Nemesis, thinking he should have been in The Expendables along with half a dozen stars who actually had theatrical careers.

Moore's style of interview gets subjects to open up about the triumphs of becoming a working actor and action star, the harsh realities of the business and what happens when your shelf life expires. Creative control and lack thereof is a constant cause of retiring, along with the fact that the video market simply dried up so there was no use in denying it. Bruce Lee is a frequent inspiration and for the younger guys, it's Jean-Claude Van Damme. Experiences with, observations of and basic example being elevates JCVD to enigma status and rightfully so, he's a force of nature. Reviews are generally two paragraphs, one to set up the story and cast and the other to state opinion. Some of my contributions were for Bruce Lee's The Chinese Connection and Van Damme's Timecop. After an off and on marathon of skimming reviews and reading interviews, I finished The Good, the Tough and the Deadly, cover to cover, late into last night. I'm extremely happy and proud to have been invited to the party and contribute. Thank you, David. I'm also excited that it was the #1 New Release on Amazon for Film/TV books! Keep laughing and lifting, or alternatively, keep punching and pumping.

Con-Man: June Los Angeles Comic Book & Science Fiction Convention

After Saturday's Power-Con in Torrance, we trekked to Downtown Sunday for the LA-BI-MON-SCI-FI-COM-CON aka the Los Angeles Comic Book & Science Fiction Convention at The Reef. I guess this used to be the show at The Shrine by USC but they've upgraded and held several shows downtown with special guests ranging from the cast of Aliens like Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen to comic creators and this week welcomed the punks from Back to the Future II that included Jason Scott Lee (Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, Soldier, The Jungle Book). I've never had a problem finding street parking and at $12 bucks, it's a deal to get in. Plus they always have posters and giveaways along with a very kind staff. We got there a little later than usual and most of the celeb guests were packing up. Caught a glimpse of Lee who looks great and extremely svelte. We also chatted with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action double Nick Palma from Secret of the Ooze who had props of the combat coldcuts and orange yo-yo! Palma was really cool and brightened up our day before enlisting us for a high-three and "cowabunga"!

What's nice about these kinds of shows is that you'll get a few different vendors each time, so last time it was the magazines guy, this time it was the couple liquidating loose action figures or the guy selling DVD's for cheap. I ended up picking up three Arnold flicks I didn't own on the format, Red Heat: Special Edition, Last Action Hero and Raw Deal. We caught up with a few con-rades who were vending, talking about their upcoming shows, why Comic-Con should stay in San Diego or go to Anaheim and why Las Vegas and Downtown, Los Angeles would be horrible options due to scheduling, logistics, traffic and whatnot. As if I needed more graphic novels but I'm a sucker for discount tables and grabbed some John Bryne Namor, Red Hulk and a Howling Commandos story. With Anime Expo downtown and then San Diego in July, the LA show is taking a break until August it looks like so we shall be back!

Workout of the Day: Leg Living

The other day I felt like my legs needed a little bit of a pump but I was too lazy to hit the gym or even the downstairs room. Legs, like any body part, can be trained any time, any where, you just need a little inspiration and motivation. So before ordering dinner, I got in:

Body Squat/Mountain Climbers/Lunges/Knee In Crunch/Step Ups

I repeated the circuit 6 times, keeping squat reps in the 15 range with feet wide or shoulder width, did 50 mountain climbers per set, 20 lunges, 30 crunches and 20 step ups. If lunges hurt your knees, you can try placing your back leg on a sturdy chair and simply lower yourself down. Then you can use that same chair for step ups. Even though you can train any body part without weight, doing calf raises without resistance doesn't do a whole lot in my mind so I had my lady sit on my back for several sets of Donkey Calf Raises. You ever do those? It's kind of like doing a calf raise on a leg press machine I guess and when I trained at Gold's in West Hollywood years ago, they had a Donkey machine where you'd stand on a block with your lower back against a pad. Frank Zane, Arnold and the 70's bunch were always doing Donkey's with giant calves and entertaining photos being the proof. After all that, I went ahead and biked 5 miles to make myself feel better about the meal of tacos and fries in my immediate future.

This, I Demand! Kindergarten Cop 2

After that 12 day stretch, I was really ready to kick back a bit. I caught a few minutes of The Expendables and EX II on Spike, picked up an Escape Plan t-shirt at a garage sale then called it a day by watching Dolph Lundgren's latest starring effort, Kindergarten Cop 2, sequel to Arnold's 1990 hit. Universal has been cranking out Direct To Video fare for the likes of Death Race, The Scorpion King, Jarhead and along with Cop 2, has a Hard Target follow up coming. Stars like Michael Biehn, Danny Trejo, Mickey Rourke and Luke Goss appear in these I'm guessing shot in 4 weeks for around $5 million bones efforts. Kindergarten Cop 2 is now available to stream on Netflix as well as Amazon. With whiskey in hand, I sat down to live blog this baby:


- Directed by Don Michael Paul, writer of HARLEY DAVIDSON AND THE MARLBORO MAN!
- Imagine Entertainment title card?! They really must need the credits after recent Chris Hemsworth misfires Rush (excellent flick) and costly flop In the Heart of the Sea (haven't seen it).
- Ok, blonde chick in a crappy hotel room, Dolph's chick or daughter? Oh yeah, it's his chick. Dolph be looking good though so it adds up.
- Guy playing Zogu looks familiar, was he in Assassination Games? Oh no, it's Aleks Paunovic, the a-hole karate dad in This Means War.

- Dolph just kneed a dude in the first fight scene, now give me a Dolph roundhouse kick!
- Bill Bellamy as Dolph's wise cracking, has 5 kids partner. From MTV personality to actor in stuff like How to Be a Player and Oliver Stone's Any Given Sunday.
- Huh, Dolph's character is a bit of a dog in this flick.
- Is that the Space Needle? We in Seattle?! Yup ,we are. Pretty sure it was shot in Vancouver though.
- Dolph's Zack Reed lives by the water in a trailer, drives a classic car and has a rudimentary gym set up of weights and punching bag.
- Oh shit, Dolph is working out by the water. MAXIMUM POTENTIAL throwback! Or possible teaser for a sequel since his book finally came out? I could be the Perfect Man...
- Holy crap, so many writers...oh, David H. Steinberg and three who wrote original.
- Dolph is strutting into the office, now give me a patented Dolph nod.
- Dolph and Bellamy are skeezy cool together. He didn't really like that blonde chick earlier, act-ting!
- Oh man, Dolph is about to shoot the vending machine after his Twix bar got stuck. That happened to me once, but I lifted it from the top/front to try and slam it down and rattle my booty loose but instead the machine turned off and needed to be reset...
- Shoot that f*cking thieving vending machine! Oh yeah, screaming lieutenant guy, couldn't they get Bill Duke for this? Or Faizon Love?

- Gunfight in the dark! There's also a lot of music in this flick.
- Oh man, Dolph and Bellamy are using that shitbag vending machine as an armored transport, reminds me of Double Team when a Coke machine saved JCVD and Dennis Rodman...
- Ok, Dolph is eating a Twix now, this is some interesting product placement.
- Surprised by the character nuances with chocolate and screaming lieutenant's schtick of putting gum behind his ear.
- Alright, Dolph is going undercover at a prestigious kindergarten to find a flash drive containing a stolen FBI database. Said school costs 50 grand a year. One of these little @$$holes better cure cancer or invent the flying car.
- Aw Damme, throwback to original film with a little kid talking about girls having a vagina.
- Dolph eating a Twix! I wonder if Dolph actually eats that kind of cheap, refined crap in real life.
- In original, school is in Astoria, Oregon, a single parent capital. Here, everybody just thinks Dolph is hot and muscular. Both stories check out.
- Darla Taylor has some white teeth, is also young enough to be a daughter or lover. Looks like she's a lover. And is totally Canadian. Ab-out.
- All these political correct gags are probably supposed to be funny but really it's the wussified world we live in, isn't it? As Tim Allen said, "GET OVER IT!"

- Uh, subtitles are extremely unnecessary for the Asian kid. Is this racism masquerading as humor?
- Life lessons with Dolph: Sharing is overrated, you're better than some people, air punch! Liberals!
- Dolph's character Reed does 90 minutes of weights and cardio, bring on the gluten you babies.
- Peanut allergies! I know this pain, have we always been so weak? This is a strange metaphor for our modern times and not in a good way.
- Dolph front kick! Oh shoot he's yelling, go into Andrew Scott monologue, "kiss ass, or kick ass"!
- Dolph just snapped his fingers at Bill Bellamy and promises not to bone his young, cute co-worker chick, cause we all know he could if he wanted.
- Surprisingly tender first date conversation about hooking up and Dolph's muscles.
- Oh what, they go line dancing?! This movie checks off a lot of Dolph firsts or forgotten abouts, last time I can think he dealt with kids and danced was in John Woo's Blackjack.
- Oh man, bad guy showed up and is talking to Dolph's chick. Rip his heart out, Dolph! Roosters Country Cabaret, is that real place in Vancouver? It is, has a very low Yelp rating.
- Ah, they turned the abusive dad plot point on it's head. Some real life sh!t.
- Acrostic poem? Like when Arnold said F*ck You to that one guy?
- Fight in the water, class dismissed, bitch.

It's been a long time since I've actually watched a Direct to Video flick but Universal seems to have a better sense of quality control than most others. Kindergarten Cop 2 has some fun moments, mostly of Dolph getting to do something different, be a little funny with a capable supporting cast, some decent action and making use of a beautiful school and natural locales. 

Hey Arnold: I Don't Have Time For You Today

 

"I tell you there's more nutrients in beer than in milk."

     - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Oh Arnold, your film career may be at a crossroads but Damme if you're still not the King of Kings. This week saw The Oak hanging out at Gold's Gym, once to train political journalist Loise Mensch before talking John Kasich and his Institute of Public Policy at USC. At nearly 69, Arnold looks in great shape with big, defined arms and broad chest. Later in the week Arnold did a 30 minute Facebook Live from the mecca of bodybuilding as he works chest and back on behalf of represent.com where a "Come With Me If You Want To Lift" shirt will be available to benefit After School All-Stars. The video is hilarious with appearances from Frank Stallone, a little person, some rocker from the 70's and supersets of presses, pulldowns and rows. Arnold shouts out lines from Conan and Predator, then gives people in the gym shit as he walks by, exclaiming "I don't have time for you today!" and "that's bullshit!" randomly. The Governator explains that he typically does 30 sets a session in 30-45 minutes and a perfect way to start the day is to ride his bike to the gym, get in a workout then enjoy a nice breakfast. Speaking of Gold's, last weekend Arnold trained his son with the nanny in Venice that morning then headed to Coachella to hang with his kids with Maria Shriver, talk about dad of the week effort.

On the movie front, Terminator Genisys Sarah Connor Emilia Clarke is on the promotional circuit and claimed she will not be partaking in any future chapters as if it were her choice and was now above it. While TG made $440 million worldwide, it disappointed in America and nearly put me to sleep. I went in thinking Jai Courtney as Kyle Reese would be the weak link but Clarke was the one woefully miscast as she has none of the spunk, drive, gravitas or physicality that Linda Hamilton displayed in her two takes. Like her Game of Thrones co-stars, she shall not have a movie career. Arnold's Predator co-star and The Last Action Hero co-writer Shane Black is looking to direct The Predator, a large scale, event sized take on the alien hunter series and Schwarzenegger is looking to discuss the project with Black in the near future. Lastly, during a Ask Me/Us Anything session to promote their action comedy Keanu, Key and Peele were asked about Arnold to which they responded "Oh you talking about Schwartsie? You talking about Arnold Schwarztenburgers? Arnold Schwartzenburgers is my shit. He's my shiznits." Indeed.

Workout of the Day: Body Guy

This past week I spent my time in the gym by training my entire body in each session. I've always been a firm believer of circuits and throwing in total body and leg exercises gets the heart and testosterone pumping. It's also an easy way to keep symmetry in mind as like Arnold, Frank Zane, Vince Gironda and Jean-Claude Van Damme, I view weight training as building a sculpture to a degree. We all have body parts that grow fast easily and others that lag so it's up to you to keep the balance. Compound moves like Clean & Press, Chins, Push Ups and Dips work multiple body muscle groups in no time and get you out of the gym in under an hour.

5:00 AM at the gym: Clean & Press/Chin/Incline Push Up/Hack Squat/Preacher Curls/Lying EZ Bar Extensions/DB Side Raise/Leg Curl for 3 circuits followed by calves, neck and forearms

With weights covered, the next day it was cardio: 3x3 minute rounds shadow boxing/4x3 minute rounds heavy bag/5 rounds jump rope/1200 meters rowing

This actually wore me out quite a bit as each exercise is a little more intense than walking on a treadmill or riding a stationary bike.

Feeling a little sore Friday I went with: Shoulder Machine Press/Machine Rows/Decline DB Flys/1-Arm DB Spider Curl/Lying DB Extension/DB Raises

At the hotel gym before Disneyland: DB Deadlift/Goblet Squat/Step Up/DB Press/Incline DB Curl/Lying DB Side Extension x 4 followed by calves and 1.5 miles on the ol' Elliptical.

Downtown! Fogo De Chao & BonaVista Lounge

After Hollywood Thursday and Malibu Friday, Saturday was for Downtown. Coming from Playa Vista, trekking out can be a bit of a pain with traffic and parking so we opted for an Uber. You know Uber and Lyft right? When they first came out, Lyft's brand was your friends driving you while Uber was your own personal driver. Lyft cars are supposed to be 2004 and newer with Uber being 2006 and on. You rate and tip on Lyft while you only rate on Uber. Apparently one of them can rate you too but I've never had an issue. Now I rarely give out five out of five stars and I'll tell you why Saturday's ride downtown only got a four. Our driver was nice enough but kind of smelled, was playing semi-loud music and was new to LA so he kept slamming on the brakes every time traffic would open up then immediately slow down. He also turned up the music while I was talking to my friend and it was a little hot in the car. If this is supposed to be my private driver, shouldn't he be asking if I'm comfortable and what kind of music I want to listen to? Getting upset at traffic didn't help either. Little things that added up and only made for an OK experience. I've had worse, I've had better.

Our first stop was Brazilian steakhouse Fogo De Chao, a joint with a small salad bar and a dozen grilled meats served table side. We were a few minutes early and walked over to the shopping center and grabbed a drank at City Tavern, who like their Culver City location, has Happy Hour everyday. Back to Fogo for meat and the service was near impeccable with the staff being warm, kind and checking in on us frequently. But the place lost major points as our table or the restaurant had a gnat problem. As in little things flying around our food and we killed 6 of them. Not exactly the most memorable experience during an expensive dinner. The meats were pretty good and the variety nice but the crispy polenta strangely being the most standout. From there we walked around taking in the tall buildings and architecture before arriving at The Westin. I didn't realize there were floors of shopping there but even more awesomely surprising was the fact that True Lies shot there! A plaque near the Red Towers tells you that the James Cameron/Arnold classic utilized two elevators and if you've seen the movie, it's when Arnold is riding a horse after a bad guy and goes up to the roof.

We took the elevator up to the 35th floor where a revolving restaurant and lounge reside. At first you're not sure if you're moving but look down at the floor and you can see that you are. With a panoramic view of the concrete jungle, we snapped a few shots as we nursed our oncoming meat comas. We were in the financial district and walked a few more blocks checking out the scene, seeing lots of construction, the library and a wedding in progress. While I'd never want to live downtown, it's nice to visit and take off from. Our Uber driver home was great; personable, funny and relaxed. The car was chilled and he drove just right, not the speed limit or racing through traffic. He was a cool guy, easy to talk to and deserving of the five stars.

First Casetify Friday in Venice

A few years ago, GQ or one of them magazines dubbed Venice's Abbott Kinney the coolest street in America or something or other. Since then the place has continued to explode with hipster bars (lots only serving wine and beer, so not that cool), workout studios, art galleries and stores selling expensive stuff. While I have coffee in Venice frequently, I never hang out there and had been to Abbot Kinney's night scene maybe once years and years ago. This past Friday we waded into the crowds to support our friends at Casetify who were holding a pop up shop at clothing joint Cuyana. The problem with Venice is that it goes down to one lane and the first Friday of the month, it's lined with food trucks and lots of people. Great if you're there and walking, not so great trying to drive in. We meant to check out Primitivo for Happy Hour but it was closed, forever. But next door at a new Mexican joint I was randomly surprised by a poster of Venice local Vladimir Kulich on the wall.

A friend recommended Willie Jane's and he was right, they have Damme good biscuits. I don't know how our bill of drinks, deviled eggs and a sammich reached $100 bucks but hey, we were in a "scene" and the place provided good food, drinks and service. Walking over to Cuyana the wine was flowing, marble phone cases showing and tunes blasting from the DJ. Catching up with old friends, one of them pointed out that everyone in Venice tries to present themselves well, even if there's a lot of posing, duck faced selfies and half bum looking mofos around. Next door is new and happening doughnut shop Blue Star out of Portland but man if I was not impressed with their $5 selections. Trying to get out was a bit of a pain as roads were closed and Friday night traffic was in full effect. Later in the weekend I read about 37 year old bar Roosterfish was closing due to high rent as the former grody neighborhood for burnouts and performers keeps changing. It's like former local Arnold says, go where the crowds aren't.

Hey Arnold: New and Old

Never far from headlines, The King of Kings, our Lord of Lords, Arnold Schwarzenegger is ringing in 2016 with plenty of news. Announced at November's American Film Market, The Oak headlines revenge thriller 478, which has been shooting in Columbus, Ohio. Schwarz has long been tied to Columbus, owning property and building the Arnold Classic into a giant sports expo that sees over 100,000 attendees, exhibitors and athletes descend on the city in every March. A statue of the former Mr. Olympia stands near the convention center. 478 is based on the true story of a Russian architect whose family dies when two planes collide in Germany but the air traffic controller is cleared of responsibility and retires. 478 days later, the architect showed up at the controller's door step and stabbed him to death. Produced by Darren Aronofsky among others, Elliot Lester directs from a script by Javier Gullon. Argo's Scoot McNairy and Taken's Maggie Grace co-star in the $10 million flick that looks to be a dark character piece the way zombie daughter flick Maggie was versus a big action flick a la recent The Last Stand and Sabotage.

Next up, Arnold is replacing Donald Trump as host of NBC's Celebrity Apprentice; bringing decades of business experience and success to the show which I'll be sure to tune in for. The likes of Warren Buffett, Tyra Banks and Jessica Alba will be acting as mentors throughout for a cast that includes Vince Neil, Boy George, Jon Lovitz, Chael Sonnen and Ricky Williams. The winner takes home $250,000 bucks for the charity of their choice. Los Angeles takes over for New York City and the show is rumored to shoot in the Silicon Beach area, which includes Playa Vista. That's where Howard Hughes had several hangars that became sound stages then office space and site of filming for 1999's End of Days. It's also where I live so here's hoping we see some Arnold governed competition!

While doing press for the show, Arnold let it be known that the long gestating Robert E. Howard barbarian sequel will now be titled Conan the Conqueror. The script is finished and a director is being sought. Fredrik Malmberg and Chris Morgan are producing. I hope they consider Paul Verhoeven, violent and visceral director of Flesh + Blood, Robocop, Total Recall and almost Crusade, a bloody medieval epic that was to star Arnold in the 90's for Carolco before being dropped due to budgetary concerns. Arnold has been hyping the film for some time but I do wonder if it will really happen. Sadly, The Oak's drawing power is nowhere near what it once was with leading man efforts tanking at the box office. His popular social media presence is a big change from the 80's where you'd only see stars on talk shows, not any time, all the time online. $150 million budgeted Terminator: Genisys grossed $440 million worldwide but couldn't break $100 mil in the states leading Paramount to remove the sequel from their calendar. If Conan does happen, I'm guessing it will be for an economical $50 million or so and make most of it's bank overseas where Arnold still draws a crowd. Then there's the proposed Twins sequel, Triplets, that would reunite Arnold with Danny DeVito and introduce Eddie Murphy as their long lost brother. A script and revision has been completed but it's been pretty quiet. Until then, keep pumping and crushing your enemies!

Workout of the Day: New Ratio Man

How's your physical and mental training in 2016 going? I've run into my fair share of would be New Years Resolution Doers at the gym lately, you can always spot newbies since the same people tend to work out at the same times so an influx of new, really intense but out of shape Don'ters is hard to miss. Last week it was a fat guy working out and grunting in a backwards cap doing curls, triceps extensions then crunches. Because crunches will work off your gut, chief. Oh wait..Then you had skinny guy lamenting about forgetting his headphones at home because they really helped him crank it up. Yeah ok buddy, crank up some shape to your noodle looking body. But hey, you want to better yourself, I'm all for it. Today it was tattoo guy with giant headphones doing curls really fast, turning his head to look in the mirror instead of just, you know, facing the mirror. I just know you won't be here in February because you had no plan or purpose to your visits and clogged it up for the rest of us. Two or ten months down the road, they'll be gone and still out of shape while I'm still doing the Damme thing simply because I like to. Working out is easy, making it a habit takes some time, just set realistic expectations like you'll work out 4 times a week, not lose 20 pounds in a month. Do some research, read some books and see what fits your body and schedule. Rome and Jean-Claude Van Damme weren't built in a day and neither will you be.

Anywho, to shake things up, I'm throwing DDP Yoga back into the mix as it's a good workout you can get done in the privacy of your own home in under 30 minutes. Plus, we all need to work on our flexibility as we age. To protect my elbows, I'm sticking to cardio or Yoga one day, weights on another. Knocking out the Diamond Dozen and workouts dubbed Energy, Fat Burner and Red Hot Core are a nice change of pace and pretty relaxing. Back in the weight room, I'm adding in an additional working set to really pump up my muscles and shock them a little bit. Size isn't my goal but I want to keep some mass. This past Sunday I hit the weights:

- Barbell back to front press/Preacher curls/EZ bar triceps extension
- Dumbbell rear delt raise/Zane incline curl/Dive triceps extensions with rope
- DB side swing/Hammer curls/1-Arm triceps extension

Each giant set was performed 4 times with reps starting at 12 and descending to 8. If you're counting, that means I knocked out 36 working sets then threw in a few extra of front delts, forearms, neck and calves just to keep things rounded. But after warming up, training, cooling off and stretching, I was still out of the joint in under an hour. Little to no rest creates the breathless state so it's taxing on your muscles and lungs.

Back at home I was discussing the Grecian ideal and how masters of muscle like Eugen Sandow, Steve Reeves, Vince Gironda, Frank Zane and Arnold Schwarzenegger referred to the body as a sculpture that should be symmetrical and aesthetically pleasing. To that end there are actual Grecian Ideal calculations based on your wrist measurement that suggest how big your chest, waist, biceps, thighs, calves and neck should be. In general, if your neck, arms and calves are the same size, you fit the ideal. In my case, each of these measured out to be 15" in a relaxed state. Now I just need to bring my waist down a few inches to really highlight the V-Taper and bring out my inner statue. Keep learning, keep laughing and keep lifting!

Workout of the Day: For the Faint

People usually gain weight over the holidays because there's an abundance of rich food around, lots of socializing and little exercising. In my case I seemed to up by eggnog consumption along with Strong Balls aka Strongbow Cider and Fireball whiskey while eating randomly and sporadically. McDonalds' new mozzarella sticks hit the market so you can be Damme sure I tried those...twice. I have been keeping up the working out though, for example on this past Wednesday when I met Jean-Claude Van Damme I pulled a double.

In the morning it was fasted cardio where I alternated the treadmill and elliptical. To spice things up I incorporated walking backwards, side shuffling and lunge steps on the mill while over on the elliptical it was all about intervals while pedaling forwards then backwards. After meeting JCVD and before dinner out, I hit the apartment gym for a quick but spasm inducing Back and Triceps work out:

Chins/Bench Dip/EZ Bar Row/Lying DB Extensions/Chin Row on Treadmill/Cable Kickbacks and repeated for 4 rounds before throwing in some delt moves to pump up my shoulders.

You know I'm all about the empty stomach workouts in the AM. But fasted training is an experimental beast. Dolph Lundgren suggests going for a long walk upon rising since your blood sugar is low and the body will resort to fat for energy. It also gets you outside and clears your mind. JCVD has been known to pedal on the bike for 40 minutes after tea and before food while for Charles Bronson it was coffee then a 2 mile run. Arnold gets in a morning bike ride and slams weights in the evening. The Rock does 35 minutes of fasted cardio on the elliptical before breakfast and then hits the weights. For me it's better to just get up and go after a few glubs of water. Sitting around too long I'll start to get hungry and lose the zeal. But the gym didn't open until 7:00 AM on Saturday and I woke up at 5:30. So it might not have been my best idea to wait it out then get in an intense session.

Kettlebell Swing/Chin/Incline Push Up/Step Up/Handstand Push Up/Battling Ropes/Dips/Rope Climb Machine/Back Extensions/Rowing Machine

As you can see, that's 11 exercises and I was going for 3 rounds. I felt good and pumped but made the fatal flaw of taking a sip of water between my 1st and 2nd rounds. That plus my intense aspiration of perspiration lead to feeling like I was going to pass out or vomit by the end of my 3rd round. I can chalk it up to low blood sugar and maybe pushing a little too hard but after 5 minutes of lying on the floor in a cold sweat, I felt great and went on about my day.

Holiday Happiness: Street Fighter

Do you have a movie you or your family randomly watches around the Holidays? It could be a staple like Christmas Vacation, Love Actually or It's a Wonderful Life. Then you've got titles like Die Hard or Lethal Weapon as action movies set at Christmas in the mix. A friend told me on The O.C. the family watched Stallone's truck driving/father-son story Over the Top while non-action movie junkie colleagues tell me their family randomly watches Bloodsport or Under Siege 2 at festive gatherings. For me, it seems like 1994's Street Fighter has come full circle to become part of my Christmas tradition. My mom took me to see it on Christmas day over twenty years ago and it's been a regular part of my Jean-Claude Van Damme viewing ever since. As I've stated before, it's not a Street Fighter film, it's a G.I. Joe meets James Bond flick that is handsomely produced, includes lots of exciting action and fights while cracking wise and generally being pretty Damme entertaining.

Street Fighter came back this Christmas because my lady gifted me with some bitching trading cards from the 90's. Remember Upper Deck and Topps? When retailers were trying to create a collector's market out of cards, comic books and Beanie Babies? The over abundance of product meant most of this stuff is near worthless but it sure does bring back memories. Along with The Rocketeer, The Phantom, Batman Returns, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II, The Punisher and Judge Dredd, my gift included two packs of Street Fighter trading cards. I used to buy these at Wal-Mart and they were not cheap, I recall maybe $3 bucks a pack. That was a lot of dough for a not yet working pre-teen! The labels on these listed $1.47 so maybe I'm mistaken or they were cheaper on their way out. Either way, I had a lot of these cards back in the day where you had to collect them all to complete your set, buy the plastic pages to hold them and put them all in a big 3 ring binder to flip through. The Street Fighter cards are a nice mix of photos and drawings that take you through the movie's narrative, behind the scenes, actors involved (Van Damme is listed as being 5'11" and 190lbs) and the video game's history along with playing tips.

The cards were a great gift and a total excuse to introduce the film to my lady who knows I'm a big Street Fighter fan in general. At only 90 minutes, the time investment wouldn't be too much to ask and to sweeten the deal I suggested we watch the film as a drinking game. Sure enough we found one online where you sip anytime the name "Bison" is uttered, there's some cheesy/clever bantering going on ("You will choke on those words, Guile." 'Anytime, dickhead!'), a line from the video game is delivered ("Are you man enough to fight with me?" 'Anyone who opposes me will be destroyed') and you're supposed to take a shot when someone does a special move. That means the ending gets a bit messy since at least half of the 15 characters deliver a line from the game or perform a special move like the Flash Kick, Hadouken and Psycho Crusher...

The film plays very well and I still contend it was ahead of its time. Writer/director Steven E de Souza does a tremendous job of building the world, introducing and keeping track of so many characters, moving the story along all while setting up lots of fights and action. You have super hero outfits and a larger than life meets current events tone. There are characters of multiple cultures and actors of Asian, African and indigenous tribes descent receiving nearly as much screen time as leading man Van Damme. Quite a feat when compared to today where Emma Stone plays Asian, or Egyptians become white and filmmakers apologize for the white washing months before the film has even come out. Street Fighter was fun as a drinking game and my lady seemed to enjoy it, only questioning Van Damme's orange-ish blonde hair so I had to show her what Guile looked like in the game and how that would be impossible for a film. Dolph Lundgren from Rocky IV would have been a great Guile but Van Damme was just a much bigger star. She also asked if Van Damme was trying to do an American accent and wondered if a dialect couch was on the set. Since in his first scene he more or less grunt-talks but later slides back into his usual stop and go English with hundred sounding like "han-dread" or emphasizing certain letters and making out become "Ow-Teh". That set off an interesting conversation as the Swedish born Lundgren never had much of an accent in his films, Arnold's German inflections were never explained yet Van Damme was always getting a line about being from New Orleans, being born in Belgium but raised in Los Angeles or playing semi-pro hockey in Montreal...

Holiday Happiness: Hey Arnold

This past Wednesday was a near perfect day. I started off by getting in a 5:30 AM workout followed by polishing off the magnificent tome of an autobiography, Arnold Schwarzenegger's Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story. This was a personal record as I conquered the 624 pages of informative, inspiring, educational and hilarious anecdotes, onset accords and more in just two weeks. The book covers Arnold's entire life from growing up in war affected Austria, his strict but loving parents, getting into bodybuilding, moving to America, amassing personal wealth through construction and real estate to getting into movies, working with President's, meeting future wife Maria Shriver and her political family, running for governor, going public about his secret love child and coming back to the movies. As a lifelong fan I learned quite a bit, things like his Mr. America defeat to Frank Zane in 1968 would forever haunt him as an example of being overconfident and under prepared. Or that after making so much money in real estate, his next investment was a $140 million 747 that is leased out to airlines. Or how he still wasn't sure if he'd run for Governor of California until he went on Jay Leno the night he announced he would. Some of his life philosophies are shared through like staying hungry, being useful, setting goals and accomplishing them through research, education and reps, rep, reps.

Of course later on Wednesday I met an even bigger personal hero, one Jean-Claude Van Damme! It was nearly surreal chatting and joking with The Muscles From Brussels and even more life affirming when he said I was in shape and told me to take my sweater off so we could flex in our tee shirts for photos. Again, seeing Bruce Lee and Van Damme as a kid got me into martial arts and fitness, positive thinking and trying to be the best version of myself I can be. I will be forever grateful. If that weren't enough awesomeness for one day, I met up with some buddies for a Korean BBQ dinner, one of the great meals, if you eat meat. While my former spot has changed names, decor and slowed in service, it was still a terrific time conversing and joking while grilling up lots and lots of meat.

While some people Jingle some of the way, I was going to Jingle ALL the way. Yes, the day was capped off with a 35 mm screening of Arnold's holiday classic at The New Beverly Cinema, where he searches for the season's hottest toy Turboman and goes up against snooty employees, conman Santa Claus', an old school cop, skeezy Phil Hartman and an unstable mail man played by Sinbad. I remember seeing the film back in 1996, owning the VHS and then the Director's Cut on DVD. Experiencing it on the big screen, as usual, makes you see it in a different light. I'd forgotten how go go go the film is as once Arnold starts looking for the doll, it's more or less non-stop for 90 zany minutes. Future Anakin Skywalker Jake Lloyd shows off some acting chops here, especially for a kid while Hartman's eligible bachelor neighbor is surprisingly creepy for a family film. Kind of sad was the fact that in the film, characters trample, mace, fight and connive one another to get what they want but if you've seen any videos from Wal-Mart on Black Friday, you know that is now the world we live in. Brian Levant directs from a Randy Kornfield script and employs a terrific supporting cast of familiar faces like Sinbad, Hartman, Rita Wilson, The Wild Wild West's Robert Conrad, Richard Moll from Night Court, young Lloyd, James Belushi, Chris Parnell and Revenge of the Nerds' Curtis Armstrong. There was a solid turnout for the flick and the crowd was very enthusiastic, laughing, cheering and cringing at some of the cartoonish physical stunts.

At home I've been watching End of Days after learning that the tale of Y2K and the devil taking over the world came to The Oak after a dry spell following open heart surgery to fix a genetically defective valve. Apparently Hollywood had gotten so used to Arnold being a self made superman who took care of the job on and off screen, they couldn't believe he was human and needed surgery. The phone stopped ringing and execs wondered if he could handle the rigors of action filmmaking or secure insurance for shoots. Like 1996's Jingle, End of Days was released over Thanksgiving weekend of 1999 and grossed a similar $66 million in the states on it's way to $211 million globally. The Peter Hyams directed film is very 90's and not a fantastic title in Arnold's filmography but he plays a gruff yet likable character and there's some pretty big action going on along with plenty of memorable Arnold screams and grunts along with a few funny lines. Of course Jericho Cane's introduction scene is one of Arnold's best, where he's hungover and contemplating suicide before making a breakfast shake that includes beer, Pepto Bismo, Chinese food, coffee and a slice of pizza off the floor. Twas truly a great day, should have bought a lottery ticket...