Extreme Panels: Prophet

One of the terrific and unexpected buys from Big Red Comics' Extreme 25th Anniversary signing was a vintage copy of Rob Liefeld's "immortal warrior traveling through time" Prophet, collecting the first 7 issues of 1994's visual and violent series. Liefeld created and wrote the series with Dan Panosian handling art for the first 4 issues and Stephen Platt coming in for number 5. I had recently picked up a remastered Youngblood hardcover where John Prophet, a former homeless man turned into a super soldier that goes into suspended animation, wakes up in the modern age with a passion for God, wielding two swords, purple tights and headgear you're not sure the purpose of. Now starring in his own series, we catch up with Prophet and his little gun toting, doesn't wear a shirt but has shoulder holster straps everywhere, Kirby, as they try to reestablish contact with D.O.C.C. (Direct Orbiting Command Center). Somehow the source of Prophet's info and power, while lots of government types want to get Prophet under their control.

There's a lot of violent nightmares and flashbacks along with ol' John constantly quoting the bible. You get a run in/crossover with Bloodstrike and peeps from Prophet's past thought long dead. Dan Panosian's art is pretty clean with muscles galore along with two page action spreads aplenty. But things get knocked up a notch when Stephen Platt takes over with much more mayhem (guys get machine gunned in half) and little details like shell casings or lots of little sinewy lines EVERYWHERE. Platt's work is quite grand in scope and the era's abundance of ear antennae, shoulder pads and giant guns never looked better. The series would go on for another 4 issues before being relaunched several times through today. It was recently revealed that Liefeld bought Platt a car to lure him from Marvel's Moon Knight and paid him $40,000 an issue. But deadlines were always missed with Platt giving everything he had making for dynamic pages if not a release schedule you could set a clock to. Years on, Platt distances himself from Liefeld while the Rob has no issue explaining that it was entirely the artist's fault.

Paneled Goods: Captain America Epic Collection Volume 12

How was your Thanksgiving? Hopefully you had time to kick back and relax. My original plans were to basically eat and drink a bunch while catching up on movies in the theater but I got sick like a loser. Instead of venturing out to Happy Hour or the multiplex, I spent most of my long weekend napping, reading and online shopping. I did manage to hit Pulp Fiction on Friday as they have a giant store filled with discount graphic novels and comics. Marvel has begun releasing Epic Collections, full color runs of their most iconic titles. While on my quick trip across America, I stopped into Des Moines, Iowa to see some friends who were holding my comic book collection from Ohio and sadly did not find my cache of Captain America! Maybe it's in some different boxes but I had a sizeable run from the 60's through the 2000's. I did find the Cap cache of toys and trinkets though. Anyways, coming back to California without my stack of comics, I wanted to see what Pulp Fiction had and ended up with Volume 12 from 1985-1986 with issues #302 through #317.

These Epic Collections are quite nice, full color with some supplemental material like Letters to the Editor, corresponding Annuals or sketches and concept art. Paul Neary does most of the art with clean pencils, detailed backgrounds and a kinetic style supplemented by a chipper pastiche of smiles while editor Mark Gruenwald officially takes over writing as he feels like he's got a grasp on our Star Spangled Avenger. We get some excellent character snapshots with staples like Jack Monroe's Nomad trying to get out of the shadow of Cap, fiance Bernie Rosenthal losing her job and questioning her future with Steve. Our boy is all over the place here, hard charging and idealistic. One issue he randomly goes to Britain after being hit with some crazy psychic bolt to team up with Captain Britain to fight a contemporary of Merlin, you know from King Arthur, like you does. In another he rails against his ad agency editor about advertising putting possessions over people. Which is good though because it leads him to drawing for Marvel Comics, on Captain America! In a bit of meta-hilarity, we learn that Avengers butler Jarvis provides basic stories to Marvel and signs off, another revenue stream and positive exposure, I guess. Thanks to Jarvis we also learn that Captain America's favorite post workout repast is a GRILLED AMERICAN CHEESE SAMMICH AND GLASS OF MILK. Holy shoot, time to get Captain America YOKED.

Later on Cap runs into the Serpent Society who have formed an organized mercenary squad to carry out all your criminal or murder-centric needs. Our favorite flying head MODOK is sadly their quarry and is taken out. Later, Steve ends up with a million bucks from Army back pay and instead of using it on himself or his lady, decides to start up his national hotline. Through and through we see his relationship with Bernie deteriorating because come on, Cap's gotta fight the good fight, but it's still sad when she up and leaves him for law school, putting their engagement in limbo (psst, they don't make it). It's great to have the issues in full color but I miss seeing the ads from regular issues so you can get a context of the era. There's a funny inclusion of readers writing in, freaking out about a panel where Cap's nose is missing a line so it looks like he doesn't have one? I honestly didn't notice it and thought the schnoz was outlined plenty but whatever.

In addition to Gruenwald and Neary, these issues would not be possible without the contributions of Michael Carlin, Roger Stern, Frank Miller, Josef Rubinstein, Dennis Janke, Al Williamson, Jim Massara, Howard Mackie, Michael Higgins, Lynn Varley, Ken Feduniewicz, Al Milgrom, Jim Novak and Diana Albers.

Paneled Goods: G.I. Joe, A Real American Hero # 228

Today we're joined by guest writer Diana Davis, a G.I. Joe expert and owner of Gallery of Duke. We met while putting together the awesome Sunbow Celebration at The Egyptian Theatre where the movie, comic book and Joe aficionado set up some terrific pieces from her extensive collection of G.I. Joe field leader Conrad "Duke" Hauser that included rare design sketches, toys and more.

Earlier this month, comic book history was quietly made. Comic fandom was given exactly what they’ve been asking for, and most of the ones doing the asking probably missed it. Was it the fault of the publisher or IP holder? Was it the faults of the thousands of fans who should have been reading, but for whatever reasons reality and experts unearth- haven’t? No matter the hows or the whys, the Larry Hama scripted G.I. Joe, A Real American Hero # 228 was 100% female, and hardly anyone noticed. The protagonists were women. The antagonists were women. The incidental characters were women. Not one man, in one panel, on one page for the entire book. You know what else was missing? T & A. No booty shots or boob windows. No licking the barrels of guns with fingers frighteningly placed on the trigger. No need to take the cover back to the artist and demand he cover up any leather-clad asscheecks with M-16 clipart. 

This is a comic you can hand to your daughters. Or your son without wondering if the pages will be sticking together when he gives it back. Full disclosure: I’ve been a GI Joe fanatic since 1983. Second disclosure: I am a female. Let’s get this out of the way. Comic readers are by far people in an age bracket that fully embraces romance and sexuality. Both male and female heroes can sport skin-tight costumes that reveal attractive bodies that are enjoyed by male and female readers. The real issue for me is the gaze, and the context. Does the costume or pose make much sense? Many make no sense, and not just because they’re drawn by men who like skin tight costumes on a cold lonely night. Sometimes, they’re just silly- like the jacket craze of the nineties. But if there’s no real reason to draw a character, male or female, butt in the air or boobs in your face, beyond giving Jimmy a little boost through puberty, than it’s kind of an obvious kowtow to the male gaze. …and if the women in the comic don’t actually do anything but pose, sleep with, get rescued by/tied up/seduce and cling to the men, then I’m not only not buying it, I’m going to have a twingey, eye-twitchy moment when I walk by it on the rack or by you at a con. But that’s not really a problem with any GI Joe comic, save for a few issues in the aforementioned nineties when they barely dodged the “everyone gets a trenchcoat” phase but not the amazingly mobile hair and insectoid body with inflated boobs and tiny feet trend. 

The modern era of Joe, from 1983 on, has been remarkably open minded and fair when it comes to representing a spectrum of characters as actual human beings and not token guest appearances or condescending “girl power” PSA episodes. Having a massive cast and a solid team of writers on the comic and cartoon provided the kids of America with a Joe who not only looked like them, but acted in a fashion they could aspire to. We’ll just forget about that baseball issue, shall we? And yes, the Baroness is a cavalcade of male fantasies tied together, but not in her actual on screen or on page form. You can thank the fanboys and a few toy sculptors for that. Just please stop asking voice actor Morgan Lofting to record dirty phone voicemail messages. She doesn’t like it. (She doesn’t. Really.) Still, the history of GI Joe in the media has, in fact, been one that stands above the rest in terms of representation in terms of gender and ethnicity. So I really didn’t expect Larry Hama to do anything less than tiptoe up to a stereotype and smash it to tiny pieces. Such is a comic like GI Joe, A Real American Hero # 228, published by IDW, drawn by Shannon Gallant, and inked by Brian Shearer and colored by J. Brown. Gallant, Shearer and Brown also collaborated on a set of covers that I would love to hang on my wall.

Weird(cool) Panels: Captain America Man & Wolf

This installment of Weird(cool) panels is brought to you by the most action packed decade in comic books, the 1990's! By 1992, I had been reading Captain America comics for about 3 years, starting with the absolutely legendary 1980 9 issue arc by Roger Stern and John Bryne, collected as War & Remembrance. From there I started reading Cap monthly, growing up on Ron Lim's bulky and action oriented style along with Mark Gruenwald's writing which pitted Cap against The Serpent Society, drug dealers and the Red Skull's Skeleton Crew. By 1992, Lim moved on and Rik Levins took over. His art wasn't as crisp or impressive as Lim's but had an energy about it along with giving each character a long and lithe look compared to Lim's blocky and compact style. Issues 402 through 408 belong in Cap's Weird(cool) Hall of Fame because the Star Spangled Avenger becomes a werewolf! I've had the hankering to revisit the saga after seeing a new Cap action figure come with a replaceable wolf head. I don't need another Cap action figure but my lady was sweet enough to buy me the head by itself on eBay. With the majority of my comics collection is in storage in another state, WonderCon came through as my lady spotted the trade in a 60% off bin and I nabbed it.

In the crazy 6 part run, Steve Rogers aka Captain America is looking for his pilot, one John Jameson, son of Spider-Man's newspaper publishing nemesis J. Jonah Jameson. John was a decorated NASA pilot and astronaut who came into contact with a gem on the surface of the moon which turned him into a manwolf. He's now gone missing at the same time as a rash of rumored werewolf killings are happening in quaint northern Massachusetts. Going to investigate, Cap seeks out some supernatural support but Dr. Strange unavailable, so Doctor Druid is enlisted to help him on his quest. The pony tailed master of the occult agrees and the two Sky Cycle up to Starkesboro, population 932 where they're immediately attacked by a werewolf and a silver masked and haired baddie on a flying motorcycle, Moonhunter. Turns out the town has some natural lycanthropes, you know people who turn into werewolves while others are being turned into them by Dr. Nightshade and her caped, bad guy wizard boss Dredmund. X-Men scrapper Wolverine is also investigating the murders and fights it out with a horde of werewolves before being captured and injected with werewolf serum but his healing ability rejects it. Instead Wolvie gets mind controlled like the rest of the town and becomes a more feral and violent version of himself.

Meanwhile back in New York we get an appearance from Steve Rogers' former love, Bernie Rosenthal, whom he met in War & Remembrance coincidentally. Bernie is back in town trying to get back together but Steve had been seeing former criminal and thief Diamondback unofficially. In the meantime, Bernie screws up as she's taking a walk with Avenger butler Jarvis and Steve's old friend, Dennis Dunphry, a former pro-wrestler turned superhero sidekick D-Man. D-Man was recently found in suspended animation up in the arctic and has been a mute near zombie ever since. But he does hit the gym with Cap, bench pressing 8500 pounds! Anyways, Jarvis has to bolt then Bernie loses sight of Dennis who wanders off in Central Park. Back in Stakesboro, Cap is captured and injected with the wolf serum, turning him into Cap-Wolf! From there he has to try and maintain his humanity, organize his fellow wolf captives and lead a revolt. Wolfsbane from X-Force makes an appearance, as does her leader Cable, the giant shoulder padded and gun toting soldier from the future. Adding to the WeirdCool-ness, Dr. Druid has some interesting mind powers like being able to levitate Cap out of trouble and heal his slit throat by sheer force of will. It's like that yoga Dhalsim does that lets you spit fire.

CapWolf leads the prison escape, faces off with Dredmund and grabs the Moongem. In a kind of random showdown, Cable and CapWolf get stymied by a giant rug wrapping them up which Wolverine then slashes through to set them free. Turns out the alpha wolf in captivity is John Jameson, who has been trying to find a way to be as super heroic as Cap and the Avengers after being an astronaut was no longer enough in the modern age. Man & Wolf is a fast and fun read which a familiar but enjoyable set up of a small town taken over by an evil baddie, experimenting on the locales. Throw in a found on the moon gem that turns you into a wolf, Cap spending half the issues as one, cameos from Wolvie and Cable and you've got yourself a quirky yet well executed change of pace. You even get some Infinity Gauntlet/War spillover as Captain America's evil darkside manifests into reality and tries to kill him. I don't know how Cap was selling back then but the issues were running twice a month which I'm pretty sure is a good thing.

Supporting Mark Gruenwald and Rik Levins you had Danny Buldanadi, Steve Alexandrove, Don Hudson and Ray Kryssing on Inks, Joe Rosen and Bob Sharpe doing Lettering, Gina Going and Arianne Lenshoer Coloring then Pat Garrahy, Barry Dutter, Ralph Macchio and Mike Rockwitz Editing. While it's been 15 years since I first read these issues, they were still pretty fresh in my mind. It was funny going back and realizing that Cap was picking bullet slugs off his armor, not the slimy bugs and as a 10 year old wondering why those things you see on the sidewalk would hurt. Reading up on the issues, I found out that artist Rik Levins went into video games after spending 3 years on Cap then started teaching at Full Sail University. Levins sadly passed away in 2010 from complications of cancer. Thanks to Levin and team for providing me with childhood adventure that has made for positive lifelong memories.

Paneled Goods: The Incredible WeirdCool

Let's get this month started with a double shot of WeirdCool panels, shall we? Coming at you from December of 1983, Incredible Hulk #290 from Bill Mantlo, Sal Buscema, Carlos Garzon, Bob Sharen and Michael Higgins opens with the Abomination bringing kidnapped S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Katherine Waynesboro to a secret A.I.M. base where the yellow domed science terrorists want to create a new Mechanical Organism Designed Only for Killing aka M.O.D.A.K., only one they can control. Throwing Waynesboro into the Alteration Chamber where "intensive hypnotic suggestion" will turn her into a super mind, the physical manifestation of pure intellect! Hulk shows up to rescue his friend and teams up with ol' Modie to take on A.I.M. but it's a huge multiple back stabbing, double, triple crossing deal as Bruce Banner's scorned former father in law General Ross lets the DAK use Abomination if he'll kill the Hulk, who kidnaps Waynesboro for A.I.M. in order to take out the uncontrollable Mod, phew! The real victim here is Abomination who is basically used for muscle and has the emotional stability of a child. Waynesboro morphs into flying head/mind weapon MS. MODAK and immediately bonds with her male counterpart as you can't overcome the yearning of a match of the mind! But the big headed couple doesn't last as Modak wants kill everybody while the Ms. believes all life has value. No signs of Hostess baked treats, instead we get ads for two different networks Saturday Morning cartoon line ups, where NBC's includes Hulk, Spider-Man, Smurfs and Mr. T!

Next up is January, 1984's #291 that boasts a suicide dripping cover and note that it's Assistant Editor's Month. More weirdcoolness entails as assistant editor Ann Nocenti is visited by one Robert Bruce Banner at the Marvel offices one rainy night. Typical meta Marvel, you know, like Steve Rogers drawing the Captain America comic book in his own comic? Nocenti informs us that the top brass are at a convention, in San-Diego! Even though Comic-Con isn't until July, come on! Anywho this issue deals with General Thaddeus Ross, father of Betty who of course is Banner's love and eventual wife. We learn that the Ross family has a long history of military service and valor with Thad earning the nickname Thunderbolt for his hard charging ways on the battle field. But after his wife dies, the solider doesn't know how to deal with his feelings and pushes Betty away. Things don't get any easier when Betty falls in love with gamma scientist turned jade giant Banner and Ross is tasked with bringing the down the beast.

Things get weirder when Betty ends up with military guy Glenn Talbot after Banner is unable to control the monster but the Hulk then goes into Talbot's mind to fight some aliens controlling his mind? Phew! Now Ross feels like a total failure because the target he's been sworn to slay, has now been giving a Presidential pardon! So ol' Thunderbolt debates taking a dirt nap or eating a lead salad as he feels he doesn't deserve to wear the uniform or medals. But at the end of the day suicide is easy, learning to live with disgrace will be the toughest war the old warhorse has to fight...that real life sh!t...Some solid one issue adventures issues with smart, talking Hulk, excellent art, lots of character cameos and nice backstory fill in. I was just reading how comic book sales are taking a small dive since everything is super heavy handed, talking heads and a year long event leading to a special edition graphic novel. That of course has been my qualm with comics since 2000's X-Men and 9/11 as I don't read comics to be reminded of the real world per se, I read comics to be taken away into a new one. Graphic Novels are great, allegedly Wal-Mart is discussing installing a dedicated section in their stores but you won't get any sweet of the era advertisements for movies, video games, sweets or cartoons!

Paneled Goods: The Kindred

After revisiting Divine Right I hopped into some Backlash, the badass, mutagen enhanced soldier turned Stormwatch combat instructor. Before receiving his own monthly series, The Lash was teamed up with fellow resident masked deadly smartass Grifter from WildCATS for miniseries The Kindred. You see both Backlash aka Marc Slayton and Grifter aka Cole Cash were part of Team 7, a covert ops action squad that were exposed to the Gen Factor, a crazy, pink, radioactive type dealy that gave them all powers. Backlash is able to turn into mist and utilizes psionic whips to take fools out or swing over stuff while Grifter got the short thrift as his powers of telekinesis waned but he ages slowly and heals fast. But he's a deadly sharpshooter and was trained by an alien warrior so it all works out. Exposure to the Gen Factor gave Team 7 powers but also made some of them mad and commit suicide. Tapping into "The Rush" accelerated the mental and physical deterioration.

Hitting stores in 1994, four part The Kindred follows former teammates turned bitter acquaintances Backlash and Grifter as they attempt to rescue their former leader John Lynch and his assistant Alicia Turner. They've been kidnapped by a villain called Bloodmoon and taken to Caballito island. Lynch and Turner are put on trial as we learn that Bloodmoon is actually Robert Diaz, a thought dead member of Team 7. Injured and left to die, Diaz washed up on Caballito island where he was taken in by The Kindred, human/animal hybrids resulting from secret experimentation done by Lynch's contemporaries at International Operations. Basically The Kindred are the results of an early version of the Gen Factor so it's Lynch's and I.O.'s fault times two. It's action and one liners galore as Backlash goes in with the troops, Grifter turns up, they're captured, they escape, they rescue their comrades and shocked to learn that Diaz is still alive. Grifter tries to help his former friend but after so much pain and the mental derangement of the Gen Factor, Diaz is hearing none of it. After lots of bloody battle and explosions, Grifter has the chance to save Diaz after a bridge collapses but Backlash can't hold up the two of them and forces Grifter to let go, essentially killing Diaz a second time. While Backlash and Grifter begrudgingly team up for the series, by the end Grifter is back to thinking that Lash is a self centered @$$hole only looking out for himself.

As if you didn't know, I love 90's comics. The supersized bodies, egos and action all make for some fun and intense reading. With a globe spanning security force, secret mission backstory, genetic experiments gone wrong, hostile buddy dynamic and exotic locales, you really got a lot of bang for your buck. Sure it's overblown with the action, one liners, muscles, hot babes and all but that's the point, it was the action decade! You get Grifter talking about someone suffering from lead poisoning after shooting them, quoting John McClane as he swings in shooting, scantily clad, uber buff men and shapely women and oh so many masks with exposed hair. The layered and intricate backstory adds history and heart to the goings on but never gets too confusing between I.O., Team 7 and whatnot. Jim Lee and Brandon Choi provide story details while Brett Booth gives it all a kinetic and violent edge with lots of destruction, physical dust ups, fire and more destruction. This is also the series that sees Backlash jump kicking a man-bear as the Island of Dr. Moreau influence is used to excellent effect. Next time we dig into Backlash's ongoing series!

Paneled Goods: Divine Right

Oh man the 90's, the most action packed decade in comic books! I grew up during the Image Comics boom, reading and collecting the science fiction tinged and kinetically violent WildC.A.T.S., Brigade and Backlash and later thanks to .25 bins picking up runs of Prophet, Youngblood, Cyber Force, Savage Dragon and more. I'm not sure when I grabbed Jim Lee's Divine Right: The Adventures of Max Farady but at a recent show picked up the first several issues in a collected edition for a few bucks. I have the entire run sitting in storage halfway across the country which was not going to help me after getting hooked again. For any comic book fan, Jim Lee is one of the luminaries; his crisp, exciting art coupled with his nice guy attitude has served him well from being a young upstart at Marvel to laying claim to the highest selling comic book issue of all time to creating imprint Wildstorm at Image, selling that to DC and now running the shop as Co-Publisher. DC has recently re-released Divine Right in a graphic novel and included several tie-in issues along with some sketches from the man himself. It's on Amazon but if you're reading this from the west side of Los Angeles, check out Pulp Fiction on Sepulveda where most graphic novels are 30-50% off.

Starting in 1997, Divine Right introduces us to Max Faraday, a part time pizza delivery guy and college student with a hot older sister and thinks he's cool but really isn't best friend. Always on the internet, Max has struck up an online relationship with Susanna Chaste but never met her in person. Remember chat rooms from the 90's? Phew, flashbacks! One night, Max randomly downloads the Creation Equation, a mystical formula that goes way back and from beyond our universe. Basically, Max has downloaded the powers of God but doesn't know it. Soon enough he's being chased by aliens and rescued by members of The Fallen: Brande, Tobruk and Exotica; wizard, warrior and babe types who know all about the Creation Equation. International Operations, Wildstorm's version of S.H.I.E.L.D., gets involved so we get universe familiar faces John Lynch and Caitlin Fairchild along with the members of Gen 13, along with former agent resurrected from the dead Christy Blaze helping to guide and protect Max. It's only a matter of tick tocks before members of The Rath catch up as of course they have their own nefarious plans for using the power of God.

Reading Divine Right again after all these years was at once familiar and nostalgic while at the same time exciting, fun and surprising. You get 1997 style chat interfaces, computer windows and comic book-ness, you know, all dudes are super buff and chiseled, all women are super hot, big action scenes and one liners. There's a lot of juvenile humor and male fantasy turned on it's head while providing several strong female characters. What surprised me was how deep the story goes into the Wildstorm universe and in watching Max change as a character. He starts off innocent and kind then when corrupted by power and threatened by evil, he suddenly feels he knows what's best for the entire planet, becoming an "evil" force himself. I also didn't remember it drawing in so many characters from the Wildstorm U like Gen 13 and Lee's awesome super powered team WildC.A.T.S. but it all fits tightly together since the CATS were always fighting alien warlords and whatnot.

Lee writes and pencils here with assists from the likes of Scott Lobdell, Carlos D'Anda, Albert Deschesne, Rachelle Brissenden, Richard Starkings and Scott Williams to create a big, exciting and vibrant tale of huge adventure, faith, love and action that takes us from a crappy apartment to an alternate version of Heaven and back again. There's character and ideas layered deep throughout as each issue starts with a passage from the bible as well as one from Max's personal slacker manifesto, recurring bits like Whak! cola are a nice touch as are the fantasy sequences that turn out to be horrible nightmares. The detail and scope in Lee's work is always impressive as each panel is filled to the brim with characters in ornate costumes, giant vistas and of course, action. This is what I feel comic books were made to be, larger than life, epic adventures that explore life's themes with manly men and womanly women. It's a fantasy, it's a break from reality so let's really revel in it and go for it. Next up, rereading some WildC.A.T.S. and Backlash!

Paneled Goods: Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos VS the Half Ad

Don't you hate being advertised to? You go see a movie and there's a commercial for Coke. You watch a video on YouTube and get 5 to 30 seconds of car spiel. Applications sans ads cost extra. DVR's and Tivo were invented so you could watch your favorite programs whenever you wanted AND skip over commercials selling you soap. Comic books have long subsided on lots of random advertising. Most ads consisted of  How to Get Girls and Muscles or sending away for X-Ray Glasses. I always love reading old comic books versus graphic novels because you get some great advertisements sometimes, my favorite being Hostess brands shelling their delectable cupcakes and fruit pies. Reading through a stack of Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos I'm getting a lot of ads targeting young men who need to finish high school, get taller, get girls, learn karate or lift weights.

Comic books are a tough racket. We're experiencing a growth of young readers but for decades it was the 30 and over crowd who started reading as kids still supporting the market. In the 90's, comics were good for flipping through but not exactly high quality, costing $1.00 with an extra .06 in tax. Nowadays, 22 pages of panels, art and balloons runs $4 bucks but comes with cardstock covers and glossy pages. Advertising is always changing so why should comic book marketing be any different? Some publishers pushed ads to the last pages while I remember being shocked by an issue of Batman in the mid-2000's where every other page was an ad. Detective Comics ticked off some readers again when an excerpt showed a page of half content and half Nick Lachey Twix bar ad. While I couldn't recall seeing something like that in the past, I wasn't all that surprised by the development.

Cut to me reading Sgt. Fury # 86 from April of 1971 when I saw it, two pages of half content and half ads! In this case, Centre Coin out of Sherman Oaks, California would pay you $10,000 bucks for a certain Lincoln Penny or I could gain Strong Man Sex Appeal in only 10 minutes with no weights or bars using Mike Marvel's Dynaflex Method instead! Huh, sounds kinda familiar doesn't it? You still see $$ for Gold and BeachBody's P90X and Insanity guarantee results in just 30 minutes a day. As far as the ads go, I can't recall ever seeing the half page format like this during my formative years and it was the first to show up in vintage Fury.

Doing a quick search, Centre Coin didn't come up but there was a surprising amount of information on Mike Marvel's Dynaflex Methods available. Basically, like Charles Atlas, Marvel taught a variation of isometrics. Not even advocating bodyweight exercises that can be done with little or no equipment like push ups, body squats or chins mind you. No we're talking stretching, flexing your muscles, crumpling newspaper for your forearms and breathing exercises. There's even sections on how to drive a nail into a board and lift a car! The course is pretty thorough and includes a basic diet plan that still holds up today; eat frequently and in moderation, take in vitamin rich foods and stay away from deep fried or excessively sweet offerings. REMEMBER: MILK AND MEAT MEAN MASSIVE MUSCLES!


Thanks, Mike Marvel. Until the next Hostess Fruit Pie ad, MAKE MINE MARVEL!

Paneled Goods: Sgt. Fury and Basic Training

For today's first hit of World War II heart and machismo, let's take it back to January of 1969 for Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos # 62 by Gary Friedrich, Dick Ayers and company. While we're used to Fury being a hard assed, cigar chomping leader, here we get him as a loud mouthed Army recruit starting basic training in 1941 before America actually entered the conflict. Sgt. Bass is in charge here and has only nine weeks to whip these bums into shape. Straight out of Hell's Kitchen, the only reason Fury signed up was because he lost his job and was flat broke. Hoping to wait it out a couple years, Fury figures on breezing through basic and challenges Bass to a fight nearly right away. The result? Big mouthed Fury gets socked in the gut and has to be helped to his feet by fellow recruit Jim Schaeffer who tells Fury to get that chip off his shoulder.

Fury becomes the necessary scapegoat of the unit and is dubbed "Foul-Up" by Bass. The seemingly rough sergeant knows there's a great soldier inside of Fury, it just needs to be brought out. Bass gets a little bit of backstory and heart as we learn that his son Danny wouldn't enlist due to being a pacifist. The brash Fury doesn't see it that way and can't stand the needling. Wanting to quit, the other troops won't let him, nor will the top brass. During their final training mission, things get real with Nazi saboteurs take over the training grounds and firing live shells at the soldiers, killing two. Fury is thrown into command and takes out the gunners with a pineapple (grenade). But not before taking part of a blast and losing half of his shirt as per Fury usual.

It was interesting to see Fury's origins being such a jackass but could have used a little more fleshing out as to why Bass and the brass saw so much potential in him. Most of the issue Fury is complaining and ready to quit, not exactly showing off glimpses of greatness. Sadly no awesome Hostess ads here, we just get notes about bulking up, learning karate and finishing high school. Jim Schaeffer doesn't ring a bell but someone so integral to Fury's beginnings has to come back at some point as an ally or villain, right?! Guess I'll just have to keep reading.

Weird(cool) Panels: Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos

You know I love a good offbeat issue of comic book heroics. Whether it's Captain America and Backlash fighting bears, date night or a bachelor party, random weirdcool comics is one of my things. Working through the stack of Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos acquired from Seattle's Emerald City Comicon I came across the offbeat adventure that is 1968's # 51. Gary Friedrich writes as Dick Ayers pencils with inks by John Severin, lettering by Gaspar Saladino and editing from Stan "The Man" Lee himself. In the opening pages, great German sharpshooter Jorgen Kline is taken by Nazi's for a special mission for Hitler himself. Objective? Kill the big three leaders opposing Germany: Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Winston Churchill and Joseph Stalin! If he doesn't do it, his wife and kid are goners.

The Howling Commandos are recruited to provide some security detail so instead of fighting in their fatigues on some bombed out battlefield, they're cleaned up and dispatched to the secret meeting site. Dum Dum isn't too keen on the civilian attire until he's provided a new bowler hat and Fury swaps his cigars for a pipe. Dino Manelli, the movie star Howler who was wounded then set up with a sleeper Nazi agent who can't complete her mission because she loves him, can't partake in the mission and goes to a local watering hole. Not wanting to drink alone he singles out a seemingly nice fella to chew the fat with. That guy? Yup, Jorgen! Things get not so much offbeat as they do sad. Fury and his Howlers fight off some SS bums at the conference then Dino tries to talk some sense into Jorgen when they realize who is who. With his family's safety and the world in the balance, Jorgen takes his own life, knowing Hitler is evil. This leads to a bit of a existential discussion on the meaning of war and how the strength of one nation may or may not be worth the life of a single man. If that weren't enough guts and thoughts for a comic book, Jorgen's now widowed wife has her son taken away by the Nazi's and the issue ends with her holding a gun to her head as death may be the only escape!

Sgt. Fury has always mixed derring-do, action, adventure, banter and bromance with a touch of war torn reality as racism is addressed and a fellow Howler along with a ladyfriend get killed. The stakes actually mean something and can even teach the reader a thing or two about life. I laughed at Dum Dum getting a new bowler and thinking he was fancy and then took a moment to think about people I've lost in life when Dino explains that Jorgen killed himself and how helpless that made the Howler feel. Fury somehow manages to lose his blazer and half his shirt as usual then we end on Jorgen's wife weeping and ready for death. Art imitating life I guess...one of the fan letters discuses the Walter Mitty style storytelling of the comics and that also got me thinking about how maybe reading comic books and watching fantasy movies of the 80's might have spoiled me in a sense. With dynamic characters fighting the good fight and doing something because they can with an underlying thread of optimism; I sometimes feel out of place in today's rat race of latest trends, gadgets and material items along with the media's negative depiction of the world.  At least my imagination still works as I can go to another world while still remembering the one I'm in. Until next time keep questioning authority and sticking it to the man while getting the job done, Howling Commando style.

Weird(cool) Panels: Captain America and the Search for Friendship

This should really be called Weird(sad) panels but we'll get to that. Part of my bounty at one of the many con or comic book sales was a handful of 1982 Captain America's with covers by the awesomely iconic Mike Zeck. For April's # 268, J.M. DeMatties writes, John Beatty Inks, Jim Novak Letters, Bob Sharen Colors, Jim Scalicrup Edits and Jim Shooter Edits In Chief. The story begins with Steve Rogers and neighbor/new ladyfriend Bernie Rosenthal on a date. They've just seen the 1940's smash hit Raiders of the Lost Ark. Audiences loved the flick but what did Steve think of it? That Indiana Jones was amoral! Bernie lets it slip that she loves him but Steve clams up and responds that he cares about her...very much...OHHHHHH! Bernie no like that and the date ends abruptly. But give the guy a break, he's a man out of time and his only previous lady friends were both with him during World War II or became S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents. Anywho, Steve is struck down by some kind of a mental bolt from a friend who's been kidnapped by a secret agency made up of displaced operatives from the FBI, CIA and other clandestine types. Dum Dum Dugan helps locate the secret base Steve's friends are being held at and boom, Captain America is mixing it up with dudes dressed like Roman Centurions and talking about how he's been dodging Nazi Death Rays long before they were born! Apparently these evil dudes want to take out the USSR, the last blockade of lasting peace but Cap socks their leader in the mouth as he works for understanding, not death and represents the American dream not a bunch of borders, boundaries or blind hatred. Highlights of this issue were definitely Steve unintentionally dissing Bernie and a Hostess Fruit Pie starring Daredevil!

# 269 is a nice off-beat adventure, which I love. We start with Steve eating breakfast at his landlord Anna's apartment along with brownstone neighbors Joshua and Mike. Steve is a bottomless pit who eats all the waffles while the other men tap out. That's what happens when you're buff, you gotta eat! Mike mentions some current events with Neo-Nazi's that makes Anna's blood boil, wishing they could lock them all up to which Steve exclaims that we can't take away freedom or deny rights. And that society must be unafraid of ideas however noxious and believe people are wise enough to make the right choice. Bernie shows up and it's awkward city since she just told Steve she loved him last issue and our guy couldn't respond in kind. Ol' Steve-o then jumps on his hog and rides over to a motorcycle exhibition as Captain America. You see, Steve has loved motor bikes since first straddling one during World War II. There's a grace and heart stopping beauty to the machines as well as the potential to rise to another level of power. See how deep this guy is? Stop making him some middle America yokel who likes football. The man is an artist who lost both parents young, grew up sickly then fought in World War II. He's sensitive, Damme it!

At the bike show we meet Team America, a trio of stunt riders named Honcho, Reddy and Wolf. Cap joins their show doing tricks and whatnot before a mysterious vortex opens up in the middle of the arena and a huge, naked bald guy with yellow skin shows up and grabs them. They're all teleported to a picturesque village known as Ponder where they're greeted by none other than Mark Twain and Albert Einstein! It doesn't go full Twilight Zone with a parallel dimension but it's close as we soon learn that other inhabitants of Ponder include Shakespeare, Plato, Abraham Lincoln, Confucius and Socrates among others. All summoned by The Mad Thinker, a man with formidable reasoning powers who can predict just about any action! Also a talented mechanic and designer, The Mad Thinker has built an army of advanced androids and put the consciousness of his favorite historical figures into them. Learning is his god so the replicas keep him company but there's only so much a dead person's personality can provide. Think has been kidnapping Nobel Prize winners in order to spur independent thought in his androids and thinks Cap would be a great addition to his collection of copies. But Cap and Team America destroy the androids which leaves The Mad Thinker depressed as all he wanted was some friends to pass the time with...Super sad, everybody needs friends! Also sad is the lack of cool ads in this issue.

June's # 270 reintroduces us to Steve's childhood friend Arnie Roth. Growing up, Arnie was always there for Steve and had quite the life as a popular ladies man. The two met up again while serving in the military and Arnie couldn't believe how Steve had changed post-Operation: Rebirth. Cut to the 80's and Arnie's life just didn't work out very well, he never got married and is always in trouble with a gambling addiction. The swinger turned loser couldn't believe Steve was still alive and knew his secret identity. Arnie tries to use that knowledge to clear a $50,000 debt or it's curtains for roommate Michael, the only good thing in Arnie's current life. Cap walks into the trap and takes out some thugs before facing off with their big, armored, brain looking monster boss. Just a super weird and kinda sad couple of issues, man. I guess it really is hard to make friends as you get older...Mike Zeck's art has always been among my favorite with lots of dynamic action and jumping poses, angry looking faces and muscularly heroic heroes and villains. He also has some of the most memorable covers of all time across The Punisher, G.I. Joe and Cap.

Cable Sunday: Paneled Goods

After picking up the collected Cable: Classic at Long Beach Con and a fistful of X-Force from Earth 2's parking lot sale, I was ready to strap on my shoulder pads and pack my belt and suspender pouches full of 90's action awesomeness. The 90's are dubbed the most action packed decade in comic book history. And for good reason. With splashy, vibrant, kinetic art from the likes of Jim Lee, Rob Liefeld, Todd McFarlane, Mark Silvestri, Ron Lim and a host of others ruling the sales charts, the 90's became the era of the artist. Men were hyper muscular and women super impossibly hot in poses looking like they were always flying and action that screamed spectacle and splash pages. Created by Louise Simonson and Rob Liefeld, Cable was to be a "man of action" and opposite to the wheelchair bound, tolerance spouting Professor Charles Xavier from the X-Men. Cable: Classic collects his first full appearance in 1990's New Mutants # 87, two part series Blood & Metal and the first four issues of his own ongoing series.

The action starts with a force from the Mutant Liberation Front storming a secret facility to bust out some captured young mutants. After the super powered strike force of Wildside, Forearm, Reaper, Strobe, Tempo and Thumbellina take out the facility guards, from nowhere a huge man decked out in giant shoulder pads, future guns, a metal arm, spiked bracelets and a big scar over his eye appears. This is Cable, time traveling soldier from the future. We don't get too much of his personality besides being a hardass tracking down the same mutants the MLF is after. We're introduced to the armored, masked and spike covered Stryfe, leader of the Liberation who is out to prove mutant superiority over humans by breaking into their facilities after his demands are not met. Cable nearly takes out Stryfe's group single handed but ends up losing his mechanical hand and the MLF breaks out the mutant captives.

From there we move into 1992's two-shot, Blood & Metal from Fabian Nicieza and John Romita, Jr. Here, we go back in Cable's past as a member of the Wild Pack, also known as Six Pack along with Domino, G.W. Bridge, Garrison Kane, Grizzly and Hammer. The bandanna wearing, shoulder pad suited and heavily armed unit lands in Iran, wasting a ton of hostile locals about to execute some hostages. That's just a cover though as the hardcore group is actually there on behalf of a rich corporation and blow up a competitor's building. Cut to years later and the team has been disbanded, some members being permanently injured from a job Kane believes Cable turned on them and left them to die. Cable tracks a team of MLF'ers stealing artifacts from various parts of the world and across numerous centuries on Stryfe's behalf. After getting caught in an explosion on the botched mission; Kane is now the armored up, metal armed, hand disengaging Weapon X and tracks Cable down to his safe house in Switzerland where the two brawl through the house and outside in the snow, hitting each other with trees. Kane joins Cable in his quest to stop Stryfe from collecting the artifacts on the condition that the future warrior help their wheelchair bound former comrade Hammer. Cable had to shoot Hammer in the back on the disastrous mission to stop him from jeopardizing it. That's leadership, kids. The two jump to the future where Kane is made whole again with the intention of bringing back some technology to make Hammer walk. I really dug Blood & Metal, John Romita, Jr's art is very clean and dynamic. The over the top costumes actually look somewhat practical and streamlined here versus Liefeld's early mish mash of pads, bracelets, belts, pods and ammo. The black ops style military group was a key theme in the 90's with many of your Image Comics being based on military teams who imploded on that one bad job and how members come back to haunt the others years later after feeling betrayed or left behind.

The action was pretty interesting as you had guns and mutant powers, robot soldiers, mech suits, ninjas and the Silver Samurai! Cable is fleshed out here as being a tough leader who makes decisions for the best of the mission rather than his team leading to future conflict. Then throw in his turtleneck lounge attire when at his tech loaded safe house and you get more than just some brooding grunt. I'm still not exactly sure what Stryfe's endgame is but you see that he and Cable are spitting images of each other, clones, twins or something or other. All of this Six Pack stuff comes back to haunt Cable in his ongoing series as G.W. Bridge went on to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. and was sent to capture his former teammate, Hammer becomes a revenge seeking threat and Cable totally makes a chick cry after they got busy when he thought she was someone else...Key phrases like "stab his eyes" (son of a bitch?) and "body slide by" (call for teleport) are prevalent.

Over in 1991's X-Force # 1, Cable is now leading the former New Mutants as their own unit of part rebels, part heroes consisting of the flying Cannonball, strong man Warpath, wolf like chick Feral, explosion tossing Boom Boom and bred to be a warrior alien Shatterstar. It's all action for the first 21 pages as X-Force locates and attacks a Mutant Liberation Front base, again confronting Stryfe but losing him, again. Hands get chopped off, bodies are slashed, POONTH! shots are fired, Stryfe teleports and X-Force body slides out. We learn that in addition to Cable's mechanical arm and battle experience he actually has some telekinetic powers as well. It's interesting to see how Rob Liefeld's artwork changed between New Mutants and X-Force as I think it got worse. I'm not sure if he was working under a deadline or just tried to do too much but X-Force # 1 just isn't as clean as his previous work, everyone has angry expressions on their faces and nobody has pupils. Meaning it's just a bunch of slanted white eyes...The haircuts are 90's atrocious mullets or big square do's and body language has become increasingly awkward. While Romita, Jr was able to streamline and make the outfits look somewhat plausible, Liefeld draws Cable with outrageous dimensions, outlandish shoulder pads, arms and thighs three times the size of his head making it look like a guy in an exo-suit of sorts. Still you get lots of action and banter with appearances from Juggernaut, Black Tom Cassidy and Spider-Man in the first half dozen issues. Cable's purpose is more or less highlighted when he states: "We're here to do what the police and the Avengers-types are unwilling to do -- put an end to this situation -- cold, hard and mean!" Superb.

X-Force # 1 was packaged with a limited edition trading card and became the best selling comic book of all time with a staggering 5 million copies sold. Liefeld was featured in a Levi's 501 jeans commercial directed by Spike Lee where he talks about drawing comics since he was 7 years old and never receiving any formal art training. X-Force's record would soon be broken by Jim Lee and Chris Claremont's X-Men # 1 which sold over 8 million copies with it's gimmick of having 5 different covers. Liefeld, Lee and many of Marvel's other superstar artists would then disband from the mother company and form Image where they could have more creative freedom and own the rights to their characters and art. Liefeld's Extreme Comics would produce best seller Youngblood and land the young artist on Dennis Miller's late night chat show. Brigade was another super powered team oriented book with a Cable looking leader where several of the characters die in the first issues through getting their intestines punched out or fingers sliced off. Liefeld would be kicked out of Image/resign after consistently late shipping books and poaching talent from other in house banners. In 1996, Liefeld and Lee returned to Marvel to help launch Heroes Reborn where Captain America, Iron Man, The Fantastic Four and The Avengers all died in a universe shaking battle and be brought back in new, alternate reality universes. Cable would pop up there too.

In 2004, Liefied and Fabian Nicieza relaunched X-Force with Cable still hanging/training/banging with Domino but being haunted by Skornn, a long dead being that feeds off mutants like humans eat cows. Warrior from another planet/time/dimension Shatterstar is training with some monks but signs up for some mindless violence because that's what he does. You see, Cable was originally sent back to our time from a thousand years in the future to stop some kind of catastrophic mutant event. But even all those years ahead, mutants and mankind are still at odds. Some ninja looking baddies from the future aka Agents of Humanity show up looking for The Five Fingers of Annihilation sword, the only weapon that can defeat Skornn, it's up to the reunited Cable, Domino and Shatterstar to stop them. With jump kicks, double bladed swords and punches to the face. In subsequent issues we catch back up with Cannonball, now living a peaceful life on a farm in Kentucky while Tabitha Smith aka Meltdown and formerly known as Boom Boom along with Warpath rejoin the team. Liefeld's art is substantially more palatable years on with cleaner lines along with less ridiculous body shape and sizes. Backgrounds are a little plain or non-existent but pupils are more frequent and hair styles are much better. A scene from the future takes on an ethereal and shiny quality with coloring that looks more akin to paints than vibrant and smooth computer coloring. While the story jumps back and forth between eras, it never gets too confusing or clunky.

Phew! Some fun reading with lots of ads for Marvel shirts and toys that made me miss my awesome double sided Jim Lee X-Men shirt from 4th grade. It wasn't as extreme as Brigade though as those comics just got me amped up and the test (testosterone) flowing making you want to lift weights and punch holes in walls. Until next time, body slide by one...

Paneled Goods: Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos

Did you watch Agent Carter last week? Peggy Carter and her Strategic Scientific Reserve cohorts head overseas and meet up with her World War II buddies the Howling Commandos. It was a pretty violent episode showing the Russian Black Widow program turning young girls into sleeper assassins. You had neck breaking, a little girl stabbing a dude in the chest and several people getting wasted on the mission. Neal McDonough reprises his role as Corporal Dum-Dum Dugan along with comic book staples Junior Juniper, Pinky Pinkerton and Happy Sam Sawyer. It kind of bothers me that they pronounce his name Doo-gan versus Duh-gun since it's Duhm-Duhm, right? Goes with that double alliteration motif Snazzy Stan Lee and Jumping Jack Kirby were always pulling in the 60's. In the comics, Happy Sam Sawyer is their screaming Commanding Officer but like Nick Fury in the movies, he's been turned from a white guy to a black guy.

Being a comic book reader and World War II studier, I always dug Marvel's Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos' mix of action, humor, tough brotherly love and globe trotting adventure. DC's Sgt. Rock was a little bit more grounded and "realistic" just following the battle weary company on one mission in drab Europe to another. Square jawed, cigar chomping, no nonsense Nick Fury and his Howling Commandos were always being sent deep into enemy territory to rescue somebody or on a suicide mission to destroy the latest weapon of mass destruction all while having ridiculous personalities and spouting blowhard banter then getting into bar fights in their free time. The series took some risks for the time like killing off a member of the team in only the 4th issue, having Fury's lady friend get killed and being racially integrated with black, Italian and a Japanese member. There was also some goofy stuff like the Nazi's forming their version of the Commandos with Aryan counterparts or Percival "Pinky" Pinkteron carrying around a useful umbrella and Gabriel Jones tooting a trumpet during battle. What makes it fun to read is it's sense of adventure and derring-do that only 1960's Marvel could offer. Where else could you see an elite unit of Commandos attacking a castle to fight a Doctor with a Death Ray or team up with Captain America and Bucky?

Reading through some loose issues I picked up at Cons and some I have digitally, there's not many dull moments as the Commandos rescue a Czechoslovakian scientists family so he'll keep working with the Allies, stop a counterfeiting operation that could jeopardize D-Day, attack a Japanese base to rescue one of their own, take on Baron Strucker's Blitzkrieg Squad and much more. There's big action sequences with machine guns, grenades and explosions on the battlefield along with rough and tumble bar room fights with faces being slammed into walls, heads shoved into lights, bodies being thrown out windows and knuckle sandwiches galore. It's also non-stop banter and one liners with these guys. Plenty of "Shaddup!" and insults like "Wooly-Faced Water Moccasin" and "over-fed chowderheads". Some of the more memorable core team is made up of "mother hen" Corporal Timothy Aloysius Cadwallader Dugan, a former circus strongman with a penchant for bowler hats and a striped undershirt. Private Gabriel Jones is a black, trumpet playing musician who gets shrapnel to the leg a lot while Private Dino Manelli is an Italian immigrant turned Hollywood movie star who enlists to pay back the land of opportunity. Then you have southern accented Robert "Rebel" Ralston who does a lot of the Howling in the form of "Wah-hoo!" and Percival "Pinky" Pinkerton, a British replacement for the killed in action Junior Juniper, who sports an ascot, glasses and red beret along with his umbrella and penchant for saying "ruddy" all the time.

While Stan Lee and Jack Kirby started on the comic in 1963, Dick Ayers would pencil 95 issues over 10 years with Roy Thomas and Gary Friedrich taking over scripting duties after Lee left to focus on the superhero books. All in the series ran for 167 issues from 1963 to 1981 but after 1970, original stories alternated with reprints and after '74 it was strictly reprints. So with my copies being reprints we get a surprising amount of ads for bodybuilding from the likes of Charles Atlas and Joe Weider along with the always awesome Hostess comic strips where Spider-Man "Spoils a Snatch" and catches a flying thief with the power of Delicious Hostess Cup Cakes with irresistible creamed filling and moist devil's food cake!

"Hold still, pal! This'll only hurt a minute! "Nothin' personal about this, understand? I just hate the sight of ya!" "Heads up, old bean!" "Pardon mah Boot suh! WAH-HOO!" "Okay Hans, take five!" all followed by assorted punching, kicking and kayoing! See ya next time, ya bunch of clown apes!

Paneled Goods: The 80's Avengers

Starting on my stack of comics from this past weekend's CalComicCon, first up were some early 80's adventures with Marvel's The Avengers.  These bad boys hailed from 1982, '83 and an annual from '84.  Boy howdy did they not disappoint.  #224's from October of '82's cover proclaimed it to be "The most offbeat Avengers tale - Ever!" and hoo boy were they not lying.  If there's anything I enjoy, it's a super hero comic book issue focused on some romantic sub-plot.  Remember when Captain America aka Steve Rogers went on a date with Diamondback aka Rachel Leighton? Here, Dr. Hank Pym aka Ant-Man, Yellow Jacket and Goliath has been imprisoned, set up by the maniacal Egg Head to steal Adamantium from the government.  Former wife and current leader of The Avengers Janet Van Dyne aka The Wasp is now one of society's most popular bachelorettes hitting the social scene trying to forget about her bi-polar, abusive husband.  Apparently Avengers walk around in full costume all the time so Janet has no idea Iron Man is actually playboy billionaire inventor Tony Stark underneath and the two begin dating.  Stark doesn't know how to tell Janet that he's actually Iron Man and ya know, friend and partner to her incarcerated husband!  But the two hit the gala scene, play games at the fair, fly to Jamaica (Tony Stark is yoked!) and are all lovey dovey until Captain America tells Stark to stop messing with their bro's wife and if there's nothing wrong with moving on, why hasn't he told Janet his true identity?

Meanwhile, new Ant-Man Scott Lang tries to convince Pym to bust out with him but the good doctor won't have it and make things worse.  Back at Avengers HQ, Thor tells Stark it's OK to be cruel to Pym if he's bringing happiness to Janet.  But when Tony reveals his true identity, The Wasp wants nothing to do with him anymore.  Phew!  Brought to you by Jim Shooter, Alan Zelenetz, Mark Bright, Brett Breeding, janice Chiang, Christie Schelle and Mark Gruenwald.  February of '83's #228 sees Hank Pym on trial with Egghead further complicating things by enlisting villains Tiger Shark, Beetle, Moonstone, The Shocker and Radioactive Man to attack the courthouse and making it look like Pym is one of them.  I was shocked, SHOCKED, to see Tiger Shark hurl a racial slur at the Asian Radioactive Man but I guess we still weren't out of the "Slap a Jap" era that Superman lived in...30 years prior.  Of course the writers are smart enough to ensure that such a remark doesn't go unnoticed and Tiger Shark quickly backs down when Radioactive Man shows off his powers that would f@ck Tiger Shark's racist @$$ up!  Avengers She-Hulk, Hawkeye, Thor, Wasp and Captain America mix it up with the super powered foes but not before they abscond with Pym.  I'm always on the lookout for ads featuring Marvel Heroes like those great Hostess ones where Spider-Man and Cap outsmart crooks by tempting them with Twinkies and other fine treats.  This issue we get Spider-Man foiling some diamond thieves with the Magic Snake Puzzle, a green contraption that unfolds and has 23 trillion possible configurations!  Eh...not as cool as Fruit Pies or a branded backpack from a cheese company. Roger Stern, Al Milgrom, Brett Breeding, Jim Novak, Christie Scheele, Mark Gruenwald and Jim Shooter on the case here.

Lastly was Avengers Annual # 13 from '84 featuring Marvel maestros Steve Ditko & John Bryne on art!  After Captain America stops The Fixer from breaking into a government installation, The Avengers are put on guard patrol as the joint houses many a project Dr. Bruce Banner aka The Incredible Hulk was working on before he went bye-bye in Hulk #300.  Scientific minds Douglas Arthur Cartland, Henry "Hank" Pym, Hank McCoy aka The Beast and Reed Richards aka Mr. Fantastic are invited down to check out Banner's work.  But the world's foremost genetic engineer, Arnim Zola (and dude with a robot body and giant face on his chest), has other plans as he uses some pink gunk to turn a sample of the Hulk's purple pants into mindless but strong clones that descend on the complex!  While Cap, Thor, Beast, She-Hulk and Wasp battle the army of Hulks, Richards and Pym have been ensnared in Zola's organic blanket of "bio-construct".  The two minds figure a major systemic shock would loosen up the blob so Captain Marvel lays hands on Zola and delivers a bolt of pure electrical force to set them free.  What a crazy issue, just action and weird sh!t all day with plenty of cameos thus making the plus sized Annual worth the $1.00 cover price.  Stern still scripts with Joe Rosen lettering and K. Feduniewicz coloring.

Now on to some Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos!  Awwwooo!

Fight Friday: Robocop VS The Terminator

In another classic 90's pop culture showdown, two 80's icons went head to head in comic book and video game form: Robocop and The Terminator.  The former, a violent and futuristic satire, graced movie screens in 1987, hot off the success of the latter's 1984 ground breaking piece of Tech-Noir B-Movie.  In 1992, Dark Horse Comics brought them together much like they had with the Alien and Predator franchises.  The 4 issue mini-series was written by Frank Miller and art by Walter Simonson with John Workman, Rachell Menashe and Randy Stradley on Lettering, Colors and Editing.  The story opens in the future where mankind is losing the battle with Skynet and the machines.  A lone warrior, a tough female with an odd bowl cut, taps into the system and learns a human mind merged with software then married to Skynet is the cause for the defense network becoming self aware and murdering much of the population through nuclear strikes.  That human mind?  A cop named Alex Murphy (aka Robocop aka Peter Weller!).  Determined to save the future by altering the past, the lone warrior quickly activates the time displacement equipment and is sent to a happier and quieter time, modern day Detroit.  There she cobbles together equipment to build a plasma rifle and sets off to find Officer Murphy, ready to punch his ticket.  Only problem is she's come back too late and Officer Murphy is dead, his brain transferred to the cyborg known as Robocop.

Our bowl cut sporting female warrior catches up to Robo and takes him out, thus changing the future but not before the Terminators send back more machines to stop events from taking place.  While the video game would use Arnold's likeness, the comic book Terminators are random and show up as men, women, children and even dogs.  Thus begins a violent cycle of Robocop becoming aware of the warrior's mission, the threat of the Terminators and his unknowing part in the future destruction of mankind.  Teaming up with the human resistance fighter, Robo destroys the first trio of Terminators before telling the woman to kill him and prevent the catastrophic future.  This is course creates a moral conundrum because only a human would be so noble as to offer up their own life to save others.  A second wave of Terminators arrive and destroy Robocop's body before starting on his mind.  Connected to the network where his replicated consciousness becomes the spark for Skynet's sentience and world destruction, his program moves from database to database until one day a security flaw allows his human memory program to hack a Terminator factory where he builds a super Robocop to battle the evil machines.

Jumping into the Future War, super Robocop assists the Resistance and meets the lone warrior, actual name Florence Langer as they turn the tide against the machines.  Skynet attempts to wipe out the humans with a leftover nuclear missile but Robo is able to change it's course.  Now an army of T-800's bears down on The Resistance so Robo and Flo come up with the idea of mass producing Robocop warriors to join the fight.  During the melee, Robocop enters the Skynet creator mainframe where he's offered god like power but the former Alex Murphy refuses and blows everything up.  Upon returning to the present, Robo destroys the early Skynet satellite networks in a bid to slow down their progress and in an alternate future, Flo lives peacefully in a utopian society. 

Wow.  This shit was crazy.  For some reason I thought it would just be Robcop VS an Arnold looking Terminator tearing shit up, fighting machine to machine and wrecking a city in the process.  But the notion that Murphy's mind blending with a machine giving birth to Skynet was a very clever way to bridge the franchises.  Then the whole quandary of time travel and Skynet sending more Terminators back to the past coupled with Robocop going to the future was just a nice touch.  With his human sentiment, Robocop is our hero here and we get to see bits that remind us of the films concerning his former family and cleaning up the streets with extreme prejudice.  Flo is our Kyle Reese, a human fighting a seemingly unbeatable threat who travels back in time to save the future.  But in a nice twist, she's like a Terminator, sent back to eliminate rather than protect.  Miller's (who coincidentally worked on the script/story for Robcop 2 & 3) story is very intriguing as it deals with the worlds of both franchises very easily along with the unstoppable drive of both humans, machines and the one stuck in between.  Simonson, known to Dammaged Goods for his impeccable art and storytelling in Thor, does a great job here with his big splash pages, collages and action scenes.  With their cold metal sensibility, Terminators and Robcop might be better suited to the big screen but it does work on the page.

With last installment Terminator: Salvation and recent Robocop remake being PG-13, it was nice to see the 1992 worlds of these franchises was still violent and bloody a la the original films.  You even get a nude Flo fighting in the middle of the street upon entry to modern Detroit, albeit done with clever shading.  Each issue contains awesome light cardboard cutouts of Robo, Flo, the Terminator and ED-209.  I'm not sure if this was paid for by Orion to hype up 1993's Robocop 3 but the narrative runs and guns uninterrupted with only a few Dark Horse ads at the end along with movie and video game announcements on the back covers.  Unlike Dark Horse's Alien VS Predator line, Robocop VS Terminator only received the one limited series.  A video game was released shortly after and next year, NECA toys is giving us a line of toys based on the game.