This, I Demand! Results

Catch that Serpentor reference there? If not, go watch some G.I. Joe and get back to me. You've heard of VOD right? Video On Demand? Or see it on iTunes? These days plenty a movie will get a small release in markets like Los Angeles and New York, some press and then hit Demand services where you can watch brand new movies in the comfort of your home. Generally for less the cost of an evening movie ticket. Dolph Lundgren and Tony Jaa's Skin Trade hit VOD weeks before the theatrical release and Arnold Schwarzenegger's Maggie just landed in a handful of theaters to hype up the digital release. It's an interesting and cost effective way to unleash a flick. Instead of spending tens of millions of dollars on promotions, tie-ins and premieres, cast and crew hit a few talk shows, do some online videos and attend a small premiere. Then we get to come home from a long week, kick back on the couch with a bag full of fast food, a glass of whiskey and hit BUY on our remote control. In this case it was via Amazon Prime where I had some promo bucks, I think from using non-rush shipping. Thanks Amazon!

I had seen plenty of advertising for Magnolia's latest release, the romantic dramedy Results, on Facebook, about the lives of personal trainers something or other. Guy Pearce and Cobie Smulders (How I Met Your Mother, Avengers) headlined a pretty decent cast that included Kevin Corrigan (The Departed), Giovanni Ribisi (Avatar), Anthony Michael Hall (Weird Science) and Brooklyn Decker (Battleship). Written and produced by busy indie guy Andrew Buljaski (Computer Chess), Results finds Pearce's buffed up Trevor running a successful gym/lifestyle joint called Fitness 4 Life or 4 Points Fitness something or other. He's looking to expand to bigger and greater things to spread the gospel of taking care of yourself to achieve physical, spiritual and mental shape. His top trainer is the direct and kind of pissed off Kat (Smulders) who stops clients in the street to shame them for eating cupcakes and being late on their dues. Along comes Danny (Corrigan) a shambolic and weird yet well off guy whose just been dumped. Looking to get in shape, he enlists Trevor's help and Kat is dispatched to his bougie yet empty house to start getting ripped. Lines are crossed, people get ticked, hearts get kind of broken, weights are lifted and many an online work out video is watched.

Results is a weird movie. It has it's funny and odd moments but you're just not sure where it's going or what it's doing. By the end it's revealed to be a sweet and simple romantic comedy about two individuals stripping away their baggage and accepting one another. But on the way you get lots of claustrophobic shots in bland offices and the empty house along with lingering scenes where people just kind of hang out. Austin and parts of Texas are mentioned as the locale but nearly everything is shot in nondescript homes and empty streets so there's no character provided. A detour to see a kettlebell guru (Hall) and his wife (Decker) provides a few laughs and enlightenment that the leads realize they might love each other. Everything seems to go on for a while and there's even a couple of montages pre and post a mention of Rocky showing life going great for Trevor and Danny working out. There are some nice visuals as Trevor envisions and walks his dream gym and juice bar but the overall pedestrian use of locations makes Results feel like a bit of a home movie with famous people in it. If you like any of the actors and have your laptop or tablet nearby, Results isn't the worst way to spend $6 bucks or 100 minutes and did inspire me to go work off that fast food.

Dolph, Van Damme and Arnold Week: Skin Trade, Pound of Flesh & Maggie

It might have been May the 4th and Revenge of the Fifth but this week is all about the action, baby! Tonight marks the Los Angeles red carpet premiere of Dolph Lundgren and Tony Jaa's Skin Trade, tomorrow is the world premiere of Van Damme's Pound of Flesh in Los Angeles and Friday marks the limited release of Arnold's zombie drama Maggie. In case you missed it, here's a quick recap of all things international action stars:

Dolph Lundgren spent Tuesday in Beverly Hills talking Skin Trade where he took part in a press conference and did a Twitter Q&A for IMDb. Co-stars Tony Jaa and Michael Jai White showed up on KTLA in the morning while Lundgren and Jaa also sat down for some interviews together. Dolph and Tony are expected to attend tonight's premiere at The Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood. TONIGHT!

Van Damme has been hanging out in Los Angeles for what seems like the longest spell in sometime. Hitting the gym, speaking at private dinners and popping up in music videos...with Charlie Sheen?! It was only a couple of weeks ago when I heard Van Damme was doing a music video and I watched the completed version last night while on an airplane. It's got everything you need, Matthew McConaughey's chest thumping from Wolf of Wall Street, chicks in bikinis, Charlie Sheen being The Sheen and JCVD yelling at an alligator, arm wrestling and showing off his famous Muscles From Brussels. Thursday night at The Grove, you can check out the red carpet for the Pound of Flesh world premiere.

Speaking of premieres, Arnold unveiled his low budget zombie drama Maggie to a tiny audience of 120 at the Sundance Cinema on Sunset a couple of Monday's ago. Made for under $10 million bucks and headed for the festival circuit, Lionsgate quickly snapped it up before letting it play at the Tribeca Film Festival. As Always, Arnold is a one man hype machine and videos of him crushing things with a tank for a charity auction, promoting Maggie and acting out all of his movies in only 6 minutes on late night. The King of Kings never rests apparently.