Damme Words: All Those Moments

Speaking of books, over the summer I picked up a copy of Rutger Hauer's autobiography All Those Moments from an awesome garage sale for a buck. The hosts must have worked at nearby Sony as they had tons of memorabilia in forms of posters, shirts, books and promotional items. I also grabbed a bitching Escape Plan shirt that's super soft and excellent for wearing to the gym. Anyways, All Those Moments is a brief overview of iconic genre actor Rutger Hauer's career. Most know him from Blade Runner but he was also great in the likes of Ladyhawke, Blind Fury and Nighthawks, worked with Robocop's Paul Verhoeven, a fellow Dutchman, several times and showed up in varied fare like The Hitcher, Batman Begins, Sin City, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and so many more.

The book is a breezy read, never getting too detailed and skipping over a lot of his filmography. We get a picture of Hauer's poor upbringing to poor acting parents and how he was on the first Dutch television show, directed by Verhoeven. They'd work together multiple times with Hauer always having to ask and never being invited as Verhoeven was always looking for someone new. Hauer describes traveling to America and loving being here while working with Stallone on Nighthawks was a little more challenging as the Rocky star was clearly in control leading to a butting of heads. A funny side of Hauer is revealed as the actor drove a giant truck/RV deal around to sets in Europe leading Dick Donner to yell at him in disbelief when he showed up on the set of Ladyhawke. I could have used an entire book on the making of Blind Fury but it does get a chapter so I'll take what I can get.

Cinematic Roundup: Dolemite, Robocop, The Terminator, The Rock, Raiders & More!

There are a lot of great frigging movies playing in Los Angeles this week. And I'm not talking about new releases The Boss, Hardcore Henry or Demolition. I'm talking repertory screenings across town, retrospectives and one killer triple feature. Starting last week, UCLA has been honoring prolific producer Jerry Bruckheimer with a month-long film festival, The Heat Is On, with screenings of Top Gun, Enemy of the State and Pirates of the Caribbean. This Saturday you can catch testosterone fueled 90's classics from Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay with The Rock and Armageddon. The Rock was one of my favorite movies growing up but I've never seen it on the big screen. Sean Connery, Nic Cage, Ed Harris and Michael Biehn all shine in the violent roller coaster ride that was a hit in '96. A supposed sequel featuring Cage's bio-chemist turned man of action was announced but never produced.

Over in West Hollywood, you can catch cinematic O.G. Harrison Ford in his prime at The New Beverly for Raiders of the Lost Ark, playing Friday and Saturday night along with a Saturday matinee. Matinees at The New Bev are fun, they're only $6.00 and you get a free popcorn! Dick Tracy is playing later in April as well so I'll be sure to check that out. In Hollywood proper, our friends at The American Cinematheque's Egyptian Theatre and Cinematic Void are premiering a new 2K restoration of grindhouse classic Dolemite! Packed with 70's kung-fu, open collars, music and rhymes, stay tuned after the film as cast and crew are scheduled for Q&A. Saturday night at The Egyptian, prepare for a killer 80's triple feature of tech-noir classics Robocop, The Terminator and R.O.T.O.R.?! Robo and Term are two of my favorite flicks of all time, making me life long fans of Peter Weller, Paul Verhoeven, James Cameron and Michael Biehn among others in two fell swoops.

I've seen Robocop twice on the big screen, both with Weller attending now that I think of it...and Terminator at least 6 times with the likes of Cameron and producer Gale Ann Hurd on hand but sadly never with the real stars, Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn. And yes, you're reading this right. You can see The Rock and The Terminator on the big screen this Saturday which means Michael Biehn on the big screen twice in one day! Throw in Aliens at the Ace Hotel later this month for LV-426/Alien Day and that equals a triple dose of The Biehn in 30 days! If only someone would screen Predator to give Los Angeles a near comprehensive 80's sci-fi/action buffet...

Hey Arnold: June Boom

No June Gloom for Arnold as the King of Kings, Lord of Lords is still a historical and media force to be reckoned with. Breakthrough sci-fi action thriller Total Recall celebrated it's 25th anniversary this past Monday, reminding us that Paul Verhoeven is a mad cinematic genius and that the Colin Farrell remake was laaaaame! The Oak hit Rio for the Arnold Classic Brazil where over 25 competitions in martial arts, power lifting, bodybuilding, chess and pole dancing(?!) took place. Terminator: Genisys promotion is in full swing with billboards around town and TV spots aplenty. Original creator James Cameron lent his support to the new endeavor and told Arnold he loved the flick. The original B-movie, Tech-Noir masterpiece will be playing nationwide as part of Cinemark's Fathom Events starting on June 14th. If that's not enough Arnold for you, and it better frigging not be, you can catch classics Predator and Kindergarten Cop (and tons of other summer classics) via The Arclight Cinemas and of course, as his first iconic role in Conan the Barbarian and Destroyer with me and special guests at The Egyptian Theatre on Saturday, June 27th.

Snow Screen: Robocop

Happy Robo-tines Day!  Ya know, because for some reason Presidents' Day weekend fell on Valentine's Day and the new Robocop is hitting theaters?

1987's Robocop is one of my favorite flicks of all time.  It's a great piece of existential action satire meets technology western.  Peter Weller is terrific in the role and Paul Verhoeven makes his U.S. directing debut one of the greatest of all time.  When I heard they were making a reboot, I figured it made sense in this world of big budget, special f/x driven superhero movies.  Nothing can detract from the original and let's face it, the ho-hum sequels, TV series and animated show had already diluted the brand so to speak.

So I went in to 2014's Robocop with no expectations but glimmers of hope as Jose Padilha's Elite Squad is terrifically intense and exciting while the casting took a cue from Batman Begins and Man of Steel by surrounding it's unproven leading man with great actors, this time including the likes of Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton.  After a clever opening involving the MGM logo and Jackson as a big mouthed TV newsman, my hopes were dashed as I honestly didn't give much of a shit about Joel Kinnaman's Alex Murphy, a Detroit detective investigating dirty cops and gun runners.  I had not seen any of Kinnaman's work before but his faux tough talking from the streets quickly got on my nerves.  Later I learned he hails from Sweden and does a similar American tough guy act TV's The Killing.  He just comes off as extremely bland.

After pissing off a local crime lord, Alex gets a face full of car bomb and his wife signs off on him becoming an experiment to merge man and machine in a bid to save his life.  You see, evil conglomerate Omni Consumer Products, OCP, has dispatched combat drones all over the world to fight terrorists and violence while not putting human, American lives at risk.  But they need to crack America or they're going to go broke.  Only problem is, America is "robo-phobic" and won't allow artificially intelligent drones on the streets.  Guy at the top Raymond Sellars (Michael Keaton) pushes benevolently brilliant Dr. Dennett Norton (Gary Oldman) to find a solution that puts the heart and conscience of a man into the efficiently engineered shell of a machine.  Murphy's remains, literally: his brain, face, lungs, heart and right hand become the basis for Robocop.  Robo then sets off to solve his own murder, reconnect with his wife and child then fight the evil corporation that basically killed him and brought him back.

As a standalone film, Robocop goes for it and isn't too restrained by winking to the original which is nice.  One of my biggest issues with reboots and remakes these days is their need to try and reference and honor the original.  The original still exists, just make your own damn movie!  But I really lost interest and started to nod off during Murphy's transformation into Robocop origin story after the first 20 minutes.  Things picked up towards the end when Robo actually has something to do, i.e. solve his own murder, go after OCP, etc.  The flick ends with another great Samuel L. Jackson moment so while I can say Robocop 2014 started and ended well enough, everything in between just wasn't very compelling.  Kinnaman's weak performance didn't help either.  He just brought nothing to the table and gave you nothing to root for or be interested in.  Samuel L. Jackson and his amazing coifed hair were the real stars of this show.

While it's better than the Total Recall remake, Robocop probably won't be one for the history books.  Starship Troopers is next so let's see if Paul Verhoeven can make it 3 for 3 in beating remakes of his films.  Oh yeah, towards the end they tried to cram in a line from the original, "Dead or alive you are coming with me" which made me involuntarily blow raspberry and throw a thumbs down at the screen.

24 Hours: Robocop by WeSpark

As if seeing 4 movies in 24 hours wasn't enough, a random Facebook link told me that a screening of 1987's Robocop was happening at Noon on Saturday.  Big deal, I saw Robocop with Peter Weller last year during Hero Complex.  Then I got a little more enlightened, Cancer Support Center WeSpark was hosting this shindig and they weren't fooling about.

In addition to Buckaroo Banzai himself, the final line up would include co-stars Nancy Allen, Paul McCrane, Jesse Goins and Felton Perry.  AND director Paul Verhoeven, writers Ed Neumeier and Michael Miner as well as producer Jon Davison!  Seeing that stacked a line up for charity seemed like the right thing to do.

10:43 AM, Saturday, 5.18...

The Gold Coast Theater on Sunset, a quaint little theater next to the Samuel French Bookshop, home to a million movie and theater related tomes.  WeSpark's Robocop special event was in full swing with raffles, silent auctions and multiple signed posters around the lobby up for grabs.  The crowd was an interesting mix of hardcore fans in their late 30's and 40's, cast and crew family members and a guy in full Robocop cosplay.  Slightly admirable and very dubious was the amount of children in the audience.  Sure, movies can have a lot more sex, violence and gore nowadays but Robocop is still pretty intense.

A bespectacled fellow took the stage and regaled us with his love for Robocop and co-star Nancy Allen.  A love that prompted him to move to the United States from France and retrace shooting locations used in Brian De Palma's Dressed To Kill.  His name?  Laurent Bouzereau.  Don't recognize the name?  Go watch the DVD/Blu-Ray special features on Indiana Jones, The Warriors, Jaws, Conan, The Untouchables, Jurassic Park and Raging Bull among dozens more and get back to me.

Ms. Allen gave a quick introduction and explained the genesis of today's special event.  WeSpark is a non-profit organization that assists cancer patients and survivors.  Ms. Allen has been involved with them for years and after a successful 25th Anniversary screening of Robocop last year in Texas, she thought she could bring it to LA for a good cause.  A few e-mails later and everyone appearing today agreed.

We got the Director's Cut today, i.e. the version where people get shot A LOT more.

Robocop is one of my favorite films and it was great seeing it on the big screen again.  It still plays flawlessly as a social satire, an action film, a tech noir western, whatever you want to call it.  Oh yeah, Robocop is the story of Officer Murphy (Weller), a new transfer to a crumbling precinct in future Detroit.  A gang of sadistic goons, led by Kurtwood Smith, empty shotguns into poor Murphy and leave him for dead.  Miraculously Murphy survives and becomes the guinea pig for Omni Consumer Products' new "urban pacification" program and is transformed into cyborg Robocop!  Robo battles crime, crooked corporations and the police force itself in a quest to retain his former identity while bringing to justice those who killed him the first time.

Post credits the line up was brought out.  So you have the director of Total Recall, Basic Instinct, Starship Troopers and Showgirls sitting next to the guy who produced a couple of those titles sitting next to the guys who wrote some of them sitting next to Murphy next to Lewis next to Emil the melting villain next to the OCP lackey who likes baby food and played a cop in Magnum Force AND Dumb and Dumber next to the villain who you remember for peeing and cackling.

I've seen Peter Weller in person twice before and he's a force of nature.  One guy called him crazy, I call him intelligent, fascinating and hilarious.

- Part of Ed Neumeir's inspiration came after visiting set of Blade Runner and being told Sean Young was playing a robot.  He thought that was ridiculous and felt you needed to see the machinery.
- Verhoeven thought the original script was a piece of shit.  Credits his wife for seeing the potential.
- Didn't want to leave Holland, especially at age 47 as he was more or less comfortable working there with his own crew.
- Weller was immediately interested as he'd seen everything Verhoeven had done and started talking about Prussian art and how Robocop is an example of a certain kind of art that can be enjoyed in any time period.
- Prolific producer Dino De Laurentiis offered Weller the lead role in his King Kong remake and asked "how much money you want not to make fucking robot movie?".
- Nancy Allen auditioned for Verhoeven and thought it went well but heard they cast someone else who didn't work out and she got the gig.
- Verhoeven had Metropolis and Blade Runner in mind but producer Jon Davison said he could either have great sets or a great Robocop suit, they didn't have money for both.
- Made for $13 million which made them be more creative without a money hose to cover.
- Everyone applauds the genius of suit designer Rob Bottin who along with the studio was adamant the costumes and props stay with him which is why Weller has no souvenirs from the shoot except a painting made by a local artist.
- Verhoeven is lauded for his fast shooting style and Weller compares it to having a Formula One Team of expert technicians.
- The first three audience "questions" were basically awkward verbal love letters to the panel, people LOVE Robocop which is fine but ask a god damned question.
- The writers drafted a scene where the villains blow up a pet store, the studio balked and demanded they remove it.  So it was fine to kill 30 henchmen in the drug lab shootout but they couldn't kill a puppy.

- Verhoeven didn't know anybody in the movie business in America besides producer Davison and composer Basil Poledouris who worked on his last feature in Holland.

The panel lasted for at least an hour so you can imagine how much more was talked about that isn't coming to mind right away.  I also paid the equivalent of three tickets to Tango & Cash for the event so I think this is a pretty good value for what you're paying.

2 movies down with 3 to go!  Bring it on Back to the Future trilogy!

Stay out of trouble!