Summer Cinema: Warcraft

This past Thursday we went into Warcraft with no real expectations. I'd played the original game and part 2 as a youth, dabbled in part 3 but never checked out online giant World of Warcraft. Directed by Duncan Jones with a co-writing assist from Charles Leavitt and Chris Metzen, the first trailers did not look good. Just your typical bad CGI with live action mash up. But hey, I'm a sucker for large scale, fantasy world set, sword swinging action flicks like Lord of the Rings, Willow, Dragonheart, Clash of the Titans, Conan the Barbarian, Masters of the Universe and the recent Gods of Egypt. Sadly, even with no expectations, Warcraft failed to deliver. It just wasn't very exciting or compelling. I felt so bad for my lady that halfway through the film I ran out to get her another glass of wine so she wouldn't be too bored. And I was several whiskey gingers in yet still not enjoying the flick.

We're thrown into a world of orcs, knights, mages and griffins with magic portals, ornate armor and lightning spells. But no real set up so like Hunger Games, I didn't get transported in or believe what I was seeing. The humans feel threatened by the orcs, the orcs are just trying to save their clan, there's some family and character moments but most of it falls flat. As Jones and crew fail to set up the alternate world, they also try to ground it in reality with all the character bits but end of the day you don't care about anyone in the film or if they live or die. Add to that the fact everything looks fake, from the CGI orcs next to a green painted Paula Patton to the well designed yet still manufactured looking armor and false looking sets, there's just nothing to grasp to. There's swords, war hammers and axes galore but not a single duel if I recall correctly. Lots of implied violence and cutting to black but no sword clashing or choreography. Battle scenes come off as a lot of frantic activity with no actual fighting. I just don't get it.

Budgeted at an estimated $160 million, Warcraft was supposedly aimed at the Chinese audience which has eaten the film up, breaking records and grossing a shattering $140+ million in only a few days. Yet there's one Asian character in the film and he doesn't have a line. Although American born Daniel Wu is a performance capture villain. Opening in the states this weekend, Warcraft grossed a not great $24 million amidst poor reviews and will struggle to hit $75 million I'm guessing. My hopes for a Pacific Rim or Edge of Tomorrow surprise were certainly dashed and I can't imagine any amount of foreign box office will greenlight a WC sequel any time soon. Look at Terminator: Genisys, it didn't hit $100 million in America but ended up grossing $440 million globally with so-so word of mouth, prompting Paramount to promptly pump the brakes on two proposed sequels. Leaving the film I felt weirdly frustrated, this is the kind of movie I should like and I was hoping it would succeed as the underdog but as it stands, Warcraft is the worst and most disappointing movie I've seen this summer if not the year. Oh, plus there was no Leeroy Jenkins reference...

Ask Me a Question: The Interview

After all major theater chains decided not to screen The Interview due to potential cyber and physical terrorist attacks, independent owners pleaded with Sony to allow the film to play and let freedom reign.  Texas' Alamo Drafthouse chain reported sell outs at all of their 18 locations while The Downtown Independent, Cinefamily and The Egyptian Theatre in Los Angeles all picked up the film.  Sony made the film available online for $5.99 Christmas Eve while co-star, writer and director Seth Rogen and partner Evan Goldberg appeared at a midnight screening.  The American Cinematheque and Beyond Fest teamed up to bring the film to audiences for the original intended Christmas Day release and did not disappoint.  The packed house was treated to a DJ dropping beautiful 80's tunes from Rod Stewart, Motley Crue and Van Halen while clips of essential America in the vein of Rocky IV, wrestling, monster trucks, hot dog eating, Rambo, Chuck Norris, Red Dawn and American Idol contestants singing God Bless the U.S.A. got the audience patriotically pumped up.

I actually thought it was a dick move of Sony to release the film online Wednesday before the actual intended release Thursday and taking theaters' exclusive window.  After all, big boys like Cinemark, AMC, Pacific and Regal dropped the film like it had a disease, 330 independent houses are the ones who stepped up and asked to show the film.  I already wanted to see the movie so whether it was was good or bad didn't matter anymore, you had to support it as a movie lover I figured.

Before the film played, George Washington and The Statue of Liberty (traveling buddy act Grant & Christian) welcomed the audience while Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and co-stars Randall Park and Lizzy Caplan showed up to talk about the crazy, fucked up road of events, the maybe hack by North Korea and thanking everyone for attending.  Lizzy Caplan claimed she's never felt patriotic in her life but was starting to feel the love and asked the audience to join her in singing the national anthem as we all stood up and belted about rockets red glare and the home of the brave.  After that, Budweiser, tee shirts and tumblers were tossed into the crowd.  James Franco and his grandma appeared via video to thank everyone for showing up and it was time to roll the flick. 

The Interview is the story of schlock journalist Dave Skylark (James Franco), his best friend/producer Aaron Rapaport (Rogen) and their hit tabloid style show, Skylark Tonight.  After 1000 episodes covering the cool, weird, glamorous and seedy lifestyles of the rich and shameless, Rapaport wants to do something pertaining to real journalism.  A connection to Kim Jong-Un (Randall Park) is made and soon the duo is headed to North Korea to interview the world's most vicious and manipulative dictator.  The pair are then recruited by C.I.A. agent Lacey (Caplan) to assassinate Un while they're there.  Honey potting, honey dicking, poison strips, Bengal Tigers, tanks, Lord of the Rings, Katy Perry, booze, boobs and bro'ing out hijinks ensue.  Like action or horror, comedy films are best experienced with a crowd.  Sitting at home watching it on TV or your laptop where you're easily distracted or sitting alone just doesn't work that well for the yuks to me.  I had a good time with The Interview, Franco and Rogen have a nice dynamic with the former playing half homosexual/half debauched soul as the flamboyant, dim witted TV personality who gets celebrities to open up to him and the former being the straight guy looking for a little credibility.  There's dick, fart and homosexual jokes galore but nothing too offensive and they're delivered with such zeal that you can't help but laugh.  Skylark's constant use of "Ain'ters gonna ain't" and "they hate us cause they ain't us" are sure to become this years "Don't be a don'ter, do be a doer" and "I'm a doer!" here on Dammaged Goods.

Surprisingly, there's some well shot action in the piece with a tank, helicopter, troops, etc so maybe we'll see Rogen and Goldberg being handed the reigns to a big budget action comedy someday.  The trailers give away many of the cameos but there's a great one at the start I had no idea was coming.  I was actually surprised at the lack of cameos given how many famous faces showed up in This Is The End but I guess there's not much you can do when half the film takes place in North Korea. 

While the situation with Sony is truly shitty and I'm eagerly awaiting to find out who really hacked them, it turned a regular night at the movies into one hell of a special event.  U-S-A!  U-S-A!

Snow Screen: The Hobbit Battle of the Five Armies

It's been our tradition to see the new Hobbit movies at The Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, home of the largest capacity IMAX theater in the world allegedly with nearly 1,000 seats but the screen actually isn't a real IMAX screen.  With The Rave at Howard Hughes now converted into a Cinemark XD, the only true IMAX experience left in Los Angeles is the AMC at Universal City Walk.  Not that that really matters if the film isn't shot with IMAX technology, the giant square screen is so big that you have to move your head around to keep up and the seats at these original IMAX theaters are extremely squished in together to the point that a person couldn't cross in front of you.  Fortunately, The Chinese has spacious seats and aisles.  Sadly, there was no Hobbit set up outside in the courtyard or inside the theater lobby.  Usually there's some kind of faux statue or costumes but this year, nothing.

Picking up where The Desolation of Smaug left off, you know, where the dwarves work really hard to douse the dragon with melted gold only to see the creature shake it off and take flight and that's the infuriating end to the film in this three movie cash grab?  Anywho, now Thorin Oakenshield and his dwarf homies along with Hobbit Bilbo Baggins are all holed up in the mountain castle that is filled with gold.  The humans of nearby Lake Town scramble to survive after Smaug flames the shit out of their crappy little village.  Thorin reneges on his promise to share the wealth and before you know it, orcs, elves, humans and dwarves are all ready to go to war over the riches inside the mountain and for it's strategic position in the landscape.

Battle of the Five Armies might just have been my favorite of the three entertaining if not overly memorable Hobbit films.  There's a simple story, set up, a few dramatic moments and of course, lots and lots of action of the dwarf on orc on elf on human on orc persuasion.  At under two and a half hours, it's also the shortest in the trilogy with everything more or less being wrapped up nicely and not suffering from the half dozen endings that Lord of the Rings' Return of the King suffered from.  I don't think we've seen another film in High Frame Rate outside this series and again, it's kind of weird to get used to as things look really real and clear, as if you were watching an extremely well designed play up close.  Instead of things slowing down when there's lots of action on screen, things tend to feel sped up and a little herky-jerky even.  LOTR suffered from fake, shiny and cartoon-ish looking CGI while Hobbit and Weta have improved technology leaps and bounds.  The immense battle scenes with creatures and animals of all sizes look less fake but still fake in a different kind of way.

Peter Jackson and company have to be commended for taking on such a Herculean task as I'm always amazed by the sheer scale of these films and their attention to detail with the F/X, make up, props, costumes, sets, etc.  One thing that still bugs me is the fact that we don't get any amusement park style 3D, you know, like shit flying at you or things flying in front of your face and people reach out to try and touch it?  I know James Cameron and others consider that cheap thrills but come on, I'm still not immersed in the world as I can see the person in front of me, the edges of the screen, etc.  Would it kill you to have some arrows flying at the audience or some of those falling rocks look like they might hit us?  In one quick scene you get a sense of foreground as dragon Smaug puts his claw on a house but that's about it.

It will be interesting to see where Peter Jackson goes from here.  Talk of a Tintin sequel has never quieted down despite the lukewarm reception Steven Spielberg's initial chapter received in the states.  Here's hoping he does something small and weird like his old horror work.  Maybe he'll follow Michael Bay's lead and we get Pain & Gain 2.