Ask Me a Question: The Interview

After all major theater chains decided not to screen The Interview due to potential cyber and physical terrorist attacks, independent owners pleaded with Sony to allow the film to play and let freedom reign.  Texas' Alamo Drafthouse chain reported sell outs at all of their 18 locations while The Downtown Independent, Cinefamily and The Egyptian Theatre in Los Angeles all picked up the film.  Sony made the film available online for $5.99 Christmas Eve while co-star, writer and director Seth Rogen and partner Evan Goldberg appeared at a midnight screening.  The American Cinematheque and Beyond Fest teamed up to bring the film to audiences for the original intended Christmas Day release and did not disappoint.  The packed house was treated to a DJ dropping beautiful 80's tunes from Rod Stewart, Motley Crue and Van Halen while clips of essential America in the vein of Rocky IV, wrestling, monster trucks, hot dog eating, Rambo, Chuck Norris, Red Dawn and American Idol contestants singing God Bless the U.S.A. got the audience patriotically pumped up.

I actually thought it was a dick move of Sony to release the film online Wednesday before the actual intended release Thursday and taking theaters' exclusive window.  After all, big boys like Cinemark, AMC, Pacific and Regal dropped the film like it had a disease, 330 independent houses are the ones who stepped up and asked to show the film.  I already wanted to see the movie so whether it was was good or bad didn't matter anymore, you had to support it as a movie lover I figured.

Before the film played, George Washington and The Statue of Liberty (traveling buddy act Grant & Christian) welcomed the audience while Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and co-stars Randall Park and Lizzy Caplan showed up to talk about the crazy, fucked up road of events, the maybe hack by North Korea and thanking everyone for attending.  Lizzy Caplan claimed she's never felt patriotic in her life but was starting to feel the love and asked the audience to join her in singing the national anthem as we all stood up and belted about rockets red glare and the home of the brave.  After that, Budweiser, tee shirts and tumblers were tossed into the crowd.  James Franco and his grandma appeared via video to thank everyone for showing up and it was time to roll the flick. 

The Interview is the story of schlock journalist Dave Skylark (James Franco), his best friend/producer Aaron Rapaport (Rogen) and their hit tabloid style show, Skylark Tonight.  After 1000 episodes covering the cool, weird, glamorous and seedy lifestyles of the rich and shameless, Rapaport wants to do something pertaining to real journalism.  A connection to Kim Jong-Un (Randall Park) is made and soon the duo is headed to North Korea to interview the world's most vicious and manipulative dictator.  The pair are then recruited by C.I.A. agent Lacey (Caplan) to assassinate Un while they're there.  Honey potting, honey dicking, poison strips, Bengal Tigers, tanks, Lord of the Rings, Katy Perry, booze, boobs and bro'ing out hijinks ensue.  Like action or horror, comedy films are best experienced with a crowd.  Sitting at home watching it on TV or your laptop where you're easily distracted or sitting alone just doesn't work that well for the yuks to me.  I had a good time with The Interview, Franco and Rogen have a nice dynamic with the former playing half homosexual/half debauched soul as the flamboyant, dim witted TV personality who gets celebrities to open up to him and the former being the straight guy looking for a little credibility.  There's dick, fart and homosexual jokes galore but nothing too offensive and they're delivered with such zeal that you can't help but laugh.  Skylark's constant use of "Ain'ters gonna ain't" and "they hate us cause they ain't us" are sure to become this years "Don't be a don'ter, do be a doer" and "I'm a doer!" here on Dammaged Goods.

Surprisingly, there's some well shot action in the piece with a tank, helicopter, troops, etc so maybe we'll see Rogen and Goldberg being handed the reigns to a big budget action comedy someday.  The trailers give away many of the cameos but there's a great one at the start I had no idea was coming.  I was actually surprised at the lack of cameos given how many famous faces showed up in This Is The End but I guess there's not much you can do when half the film takes place in North Korea. 

While the situation with Sony is truly shitty and I'm eagerly awaiting to find out who really hacked them, it turned a regular night at the movies into one hell of a special event.  U-S-A!  U-S-A!

Hey Arnold: Up and At Them

"For me life is continuously being hungry.  

The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, 

but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer."

     - Arnold Schwarzenegger

It's that kind of thinking that makes Arnold one of a kind.  I contend that the man is driven to a fault.  He's made billions of dollars while inspiring millions if not billions of people around the world.  Has he screwed up in life?  Absolutely.  And he'll be the first one to admit it while not blaming others.  Instead of dwelling on what he can't change, he keeps moving forward like Conan or The Terminator. Even upon first arriving in America, Arnold didn't only spend his time lifting weights and tanning at the beach.  He was taking business classes and starting construction companies while buying up real estate.  He was a millionaire in his 20's so by the time he switched gears to acting, he could be picky with his roles instead of playing bit parts as a brute or truck driver for a paycheck.  What Hollywood agent ever thought a guy with that last name and physique would become the world's highest paid movie star?    Exactly.

It really ticks me off when I hear people pigeonhole Arnold as a steroid user and cast him off.  The drugs were legal when he was using them and besides, he still looks better than 99% of others on the juice.  As a teenager, he went AWOL from the military to compete, that's what we call dedication.  There's lots of in shape guys running around in the world but how many of them have aspired or accomplished as much as The Oak?  Look at any modern bodybuilder today, they all look the same:  grotesque mountains of muscle that probably don't do anything but eat and train.  What kind of life is that?  Anybody who gets into drugs to give themselves a better body is a loser, it's like the woman who gets over sized breast implants then still wonders why men don't want to date her or pay attention to her.  It's a fundamental flaw in their thinking.

In an age of the masses being desensitized but really fucking touchy, I'm glad Arnold can look at his body of work with a sense of humor.  While Stallone is making $15 million an Expendables flick yet charging 800 bucks for an autograph and photo while crowd sourcing for movie budgets; Arnold uses his history and image for good.  Always one to make fun of himself, Arnold exploits his charm and public persona for charity.  Right now you can donate to his After School program for a chance to meet the legend, work out with him and ride around in his tank.  Apparently he's matching user contributions up to $500,000 as well.  What a guy.

Arnold and Epic Meal Time Gotta Eat!

For me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/arnoldschw146561.html#HP7oB55IXWpCiBzr.99F

For me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/arnoldschw146561.html#HP7oB55IXWpCiBzr.99

For me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/arnoldschw146561.html#HP7oB55IXWpCiBzr.99

I'm a Doer! Theodore Roosevelt

Welcome back to I'm a Doer!  Where we look at men and women who take life by the horns, who grip it and rip it, the ones who aspire while inspiring.  Today we cast the spotlight on one Theodore Roosevelt.  The author of 35 books, a cowboy and a political reformist who spoke 6 languages and winner of a Nobel Prize and the Medal of Honor.  In a time of expansion and revolution, T.R. was always searching for his next challenge and looking for a good fight.  A literal tragic hero, Roosevelt was born into a wealthy New York family but was weak with asthma and had to be home schooled.  It was here that his love for books and nature would become his friends in lieu of classmates.  His father would not accept an invalid for a son so through sport and determination, T.R. built himself into a new man.  At Harvard, the future president would take up boxing and rowing while excelling in the social scene after his years of quiet seclusion.

Heartache and tragedy would be a facet of Roosevelt's life as his father passed away in 1878, followed by his first wife and mother in 1884, on the same day, in the same house.  The light of his life extinguished, T.R. headed to the rough Dakota Territory where he planned to live off the land like a cowboy.  It was tough going at first as Roosevelt was a nature lover but far from a ranch hand.  Decked out with store bought western duds and fancy equipment, T.R. worked hard to gain the respect and knowledge of the life long cowboys and learned how to rope, ride and hunt.  He would also serve as a deputy sheriff and pursue outlaws, further adding to his growing larger than life persona.  After a blizzard wiped out his herd of cattle, T.R. headed back to New York.

Working as the Civil Service Commissioner, T.R. went after unqualified slackers and the rich buddies of politicians.  Calling for many a resignation, Roosevelt began to win a favorable view with the common population who were struggling to get by.  The overworked and underpaid masses liked T.R.'s reformer image and he translated that momentum into taking a role as New York Police Commissioner.  There, he fought to clean up the most corrupt police force in the country that were enmeshed in bribe and protection rackets and filled with officers who slept on the job and hung out in bars while on duty.  Roosevelt installed many institutions such as phones in stations, bicycle squads, horse drawn paddy wagons, a standardized pistol, yearly marksmanship and physical testing while bringing women and Jewish citizens into the force for the first time.  But again, all of this was not enough.  Roosevelt needed a new challenge, a swing at the big leagues on the national and global level.

Having always had an affinity for the Naval Forces and already written a book on the subject, another fortuitous event would befall Mr. Roosevelt.  He went to work for the Navy Department under a boss who had seen much in war and vacationed often.  T.R. used his bosses absence to push through several agendas that supported his opinion that the United States must always be ready for war and he would create one if one weren't on the horizon.  Only through war and show of force could America take it's place as a true world power.  From here he would find himself second in command of a volunteer army dubbed The Rough Riders who invaded Cuba in retaliation to the sinking of The Maine.  T.R.'s successful campaigns and hill charges resulted in his promotion to Colonel and a nomination for the Medal Of Honor.  Top brass however were sick of T.R.'s headlines and he was passed over by the War Department.

His four months of service complete, Theodore Roosevelt headed back to New York where another bunch of misfits needed some shaping up, the New York Republicans.  They needed a candidate for governor and T.R. was just the man for it.  His call to the big leagues had arrived.  But his run as governor was just a warm up to his role as Vice President and eventually President.  And we all know how that went, his face is carved into a mountain so somebody thought he did a good job.  So whenever you're feeling overwhelmed or unchallenged, just think of Theodore Roosevelt and go punch the bear of life straight in the nose because he was a leader, an example and most important of all, a Doer!

I'm Hot! I'm Big! I Watch a lot of Movies

"All of my heroes are self made:  Rocky, Scarface, all the guys from the Godfather, they all started out with nothing and built their way to perfection."

Pow!  What's up internets?  Everybody kicking ass in 2014?  Yeah you are, hopefully you've decided to better yourself through education and physical training in a bid to always be ready, Jack Burton style.  Remember to make yourself different sets of goals for the short term and long term.  Start with broad strokes then move into refined and specific goals to keep you focused.  Writing things down always helps as do some general timelines.  Be a doer!

Greatest day of my life:

Elbow Rocket! Theodore Roosevelt, Jr

We throw around the term, The Man, a lot but it really applies to one Theodore Roosevelt, Jr.  A sickly kid growing up, The Roose would live a robust life that saw him become a nature expert, soldier, author, politician, President, reformer and Nobel Prize Winner among much more.  Oh and one time, he got shot before going on stage to deliver a speech but persevered through.  So whenever you're feeling down on yourself or things aren't going the way you want, take a few minutes and read up on this guy and remember, it's all out there, you just have to take it.  Over the top.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I'm Hot! I'm Big! Life Situation

"If I believe I deserve it, the universe will serve it!  Right?  (silence) That's why you're working at a Sears, bro!"

Tuesday, like everyday, is for Doing.  Let the Don't-ers waffle and circle around the problem sniffling while you take care of business.

On a side note, I've heard many a viewer of my favorite film of 2013, Pain & Gain, remark that they couldn't quite enjoy the film because of, let's call it, the human condition.  After all, Mark Wahlberg's character is driven, funny and let's face it, a bit ripspirational.  But at the end of the day, he's based on a real human being that committed horrible acts and atrocities on his fellow man.  Not that I'm forgetting or overlooking that aspect but hey, inspiration comes in many forms and if I can take something positive away from a cesspool of depravity then I most certainly will.

I'm a Doer! Arnold Schwarzenegger

This past Tuesday, 7.30, marked the 66th year of the King of Kings, our Lord of Lords, mister Arnold Schwarzenegger.  The Austrian Oak means many things to many different people.  To bodybuilding, he's the all time champion, spokesman and arguably the individual most responsible for bringing muscles into the mainstream.  For movie buffs, he's the sword swinging Conan of Cimmeria, the time traveling Terminator, Predator hunting Dutch and Batman's coolest foe, Mister Freeze (Chill!).  Some women find him attractive, others, probably not so much.

By sheer force of will power and self belief, Ah-nuld went from immigrant bodybuilder to movie star to governor, back to movies and then started his own Institute at the University of Southern California to promote post partisanship policies over party lines.  All on only 6 hours of sleep a night allegedly.  A well rounded sense of self is well documented from the business classes and investments that made him a millionaire in his 20's, a lack of professional ego confirmed by directors like James Cameron and Paul Verhoeven, a self deprecating sense of humor that make audiences love and quote him and finally his massive contributions and involvement with charities like The Special Olympics and Habitat for Humanity.

While it's easy to take pot shots at Arnold's life, career and questionable behavior, one thing always remains; Arnold is a doer.  Win bodybuilding's highest title 7 times?  Check.  Get paid $25 million per film?  Check.  Became governor of California with no political experience?  Check.  He even silenced the internet cesspool of insults, Reddit, with a recent post about fitness.  But success will always breed detractors and Schwarzenegger is an easy target for today's entitled, instant gratification seeking masses.

Somehow, the "bullets" fly right by.  Had a child with the nanny?  He's providing for them.  Book didn't sell well?  People still lined up for hours to get theirs signed.  Comeback movie tanked at the box office?  I liked it and quite enjoyed it.  This is what makes Arnold one of a kind, he doesn't dwell on the negative, he simply moves on and doesn't waste his energy on what he can't control.  That's a far cry from today's technology suppressed society that complains over Twitter instead of in person or the media that feeds despair instead of offering hope.

Someone said to me the other day it would be great if we could clone Arnold and get more action movies.  I think we can all agree that Jason Momoa didn't quite deliver as Conan the way Arnie did.  On a deeper level, having more guys like Arnold around is important because they're the world changers; driven to a fault, presenting the best and worst of us while still trying to leave the world in better shape than when we came into it.

Happy birthday, Arnold.  Smoke a stogie and continue to conquer.

I'm a Doer! Reign of Fire's Denton Van Zan

"It's my territory.  It's your territory.  They're just renting it."

(Gravelly announcer voice) It is the year 2020, the Earth has been ravaged by dragons; the soaring, fire breathing menace of lore.  Mankind has nearly gone extinct, survivors live quietly among ruins and ash.  One man seeks to preserve life while another seeks to eradicate a species.  It is, the Reign of Fire.

"There's nothing magical about them, they're made up of a collection of organs; a mind, a heart, a liver, you take out one of these, you bring down the beast!"

I remember seeing this flick upon release on my birthday in 2002 and thinking what a ridiculous bad ass Matthew McConaughey was as the bald headed, yoked out, tatted up dragon slayer Denton Van Zan.  Christian Bale is also fine in his role as the peaceful, logical leader of a group of survivors, Quinn, but McCon took the flashier role and ran with it.  He's brash, physical and driven, like To Live and Die In LA's Richard Chance, Van Zan was one who lived by the sword and would die by the sword (or in this case, a dragon and an axe).  It was a nice departure from McConaughey who previously played nice opposite Jennifer Lopez in the rom-com, The Wedding Planner.

"Dig your own holes, die in them."

What's fun about these characters is that you know they're not going to be the reasonable voice of the picture or even make it to the end but they will invigorate those around them and force them to act.  In Reign of Fire, Van Zan's sudden appearance, dragon theories and man power demands force semi-pacifist Quinn to confront his fear of the beasts and attempt to obliterate them once and for all.  His notion that there is only one male in the species leads to an ill fated trek to London to hunt down the big daddy.  After his forces are wiped out, Van Zan realizes his full throttle, fight hard, die fast style of warfare will not advance the human race (it is good at getting the blood pumping though).  With the help of Bale's calm and collected Quinn, they sneak into London undetected and feed papa Dragon an explosive Popsicle but not before he eats Van Zan like a bug.

To prepare for the role, McConaughey says he spent two months at his ranch getting in shape by pushing a truck, wrestling with cows, lifting weights, running and boxing.  Allegedly, Arnold Schwarzenegger himself was in talks to appear in the film so it's ironically appropriate that McConaughey took a page from The Oak and played the role with physical gusto.

"Come on, big boy!"