Con-Man: June Los Angeles Comic Book & Science Fiction Convention

After Saturday's Power-Con in Torrance, we trekked to Downtown Sunday for the LA-BI-MON-SCI-FI-COM-CON aka the Los Angeles Comic Book & Science Fiction Convention at The Reef. I guess this used to be the show at The Shrine by USC but they've upgraded and held several shows downtown with special guests ranging from the cast of Aliens like Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen to comic creators and this week welcomed the punks from Back to the Future II that included Jason Scott Lee (Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, Soldier, The Jungle Book). I've never had a problem finding street parking and at $12 bucks, it's a deal to get in. Plus they always have posters and giveaways along with a very kind staff. We got there a little later than usual and most of the celeb guests were packing up. Caught a glimpse of Lee who looks great and extremely svelte. We also chatted with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action double Nick Palma from Secret of the Ooze who had props of the combat coldcuts and orange yo-yo! Palma was really cool and brightened up our day before enlisting us for a high-three and "cowabunga"!

What's nice about these kinds of shows is that you'll get a few different vendors each time, so last time it was the magazines guy, this time it was the couple liquidating loose action figures or the guy selling DVD's for cheap. I ended up picking up three Arnold flicks I didn't own on the format, Red Heat: Special Edition, Last Action Hero and Raw Deal. We caught up with a few con-rades who were vending, talking about their upcoming shows, why Comic-Con should stay in San Diego or go to Anaheim and why Las Vegas and Downtown, Los Angeles would be horrible options due to scheduling, logistics, traffic and whatnot. As if I needed more graphic novels but I'm a sucker for discount tables and grabbed some John Bryne Namor, Red Hulk and a Howling Commandos story. With Anime Expo downtown and then San Diego in July, the LA show is taking a break until August it looks like so we shall be back!

WonderCon! Friday

Badge check in was quick and painless but then a line built up by the doors. Why? Because the exhibit hall wasn't open yet! I don't know how the 12:00 PM opening time slipped by me after I had just read through the Quick Guide but here we were with an hour to chill so we just walked back to the hotel for some relaxing. After a noon cocktail we headed back to the show. This is the first year they're testing out RFIT, a crowd tracking dealy where you swipe your badge going in and out. Horrific visions of broke down technology and bottlenecks filled my mind but it was fine. We'll see how Saturday goes though as that's when the crowds really show up. I believe the exhibition space for WonderCon is smaller than last year and it definitely felt spread out as you had registration in one hall, a few program rooms in a random hallway, the exhibit hall, more panel rooms upstairs, big media presentations at the Microsoft Theater across the street, etc.

 

We crisscrossed aisles checking out toys, comics, pins, action figures and the like. Nothing too new to the convention scene but half off trade bins weren't crawling with people so we flipped through several booths. I don't go to these shows with goals for items to purchase anymore but I did have my eye out for Captain America: Man & Wolf, a 90's multi-part collection where Cap turns into a werewolf. I have single issues in my collection but those are halfway across the country. While most booths have graphic novels in long boxes you have to flip through, one had them displayed horizontally so you could just skim the spines and voila, the lady picked it out for me. Nintendo had a booth set up touting a new version of StarFox! The polygon filled flying game with animal pilots I played on the N64 in the 90's. You also had a booth for the new Ninja Turtles flick (Knock knock, you're about to get shell shocked!), IDW, Nerdist, DC, Sideshow Collectables and many more. After a couple of hours on the floor, we were famished and headed to the Yard House for Happy Hour. Sure beats waiting in line for a food truck out in the sun!

Panel wise we had a list as fall back options but our first one, a reading of James Cameron's unmade Spider-Man movie treatment, ended up being changed to some 1950's sci-fi flick so we bounced. Spotlight on Jim Lee would be good but we've seen the guy multiple times and run into him randomly around shows. I wouldn't mind seeing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows presentation but this comfy hotel bed has me in it's clutches. Rey from Star Wars was hands down the most popular cosplay of the day, transcending all ages and even genders. I actually had to look to find a Dead Pool. A fun start to the weekend/con-cation. Maybe we'll hit Eighty-Two for some video games as seeing a statue of super yoked Ryu has me hankering for some Street Fighter...

Ernie Reyes Jr. Needs Your Help!

Martial artist turned actor Ernie Reyes, Jr. from TV's Sidekicks and movies like Red Sonja, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (as a fight double) and II (as a co-lead), Surf Ninjas and The Rundown needs our help! The 43 year old suffered kidney failure and is now on dialysis three times a week. A GoFundMe has been started by his sister to help raise money for a kidney transplant. At the time of this posting, over $20,000 of the $75,000 goal has already been raised. So throw in a few bones if you can spare. I met Reyes at San Diego Comic-Con last year and he was just the nicest guy. Looking into putting together a Ninja Turtle themed fund raiser soon. Until then Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go! And Kwansu, dudes!

Con-Man: WonderCon 2015 Friday

We only got about an hour of floor walking in for Friday but it proved very lucrative. It didn't seem too packed around the Anaheim Convention Center yet as most people were walking out as we were headed in. Lots of cosplayers outside by the fountains with Elvira, Xena, Rocket, Groot and Wheeljack from Transformers among them. Inside seems extra cavernous this year but having wider aisle ways isn't a bad thing, at all. Ran into the vendor I bought my Bishop from Aliens from at Long Beach Expo that Lance Henriksen signed. This time they had Neca's Robocop VS The Terminator figures for cheap so it was my first buy of the night. More walking around and we ventured into Warner Brothers' San Andreas Experience which was basically the trailer with 4D f/x, aka The Rock, Carla Gugino, Mr. Fantastic and that guy from Sideways surviving a huge earthquake complete with vibrating and moving chairs. I'm still not sold on the flick but it was a nice addition to the floor. Elsewhere I picked up some issues of awesome movie magazine Cinefantastique with Demolition Man, Captain America, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Robocop II in their extremely deeply researched and reported sights.

Moving onto more of the floor there were big set ups for Valiant and IDW like at last week's Emerald City Comicon along with Image which has several panels this show to highlight their creative owned genre divisions. Boutique Bait had some awesome Street Fighter shirts along with Bruce Lee and Voltron socks! They were right next to Nerdist who had quite the display set up for interviews and podcasts while La-La Records has a show exclusive Masters of the Universe soundtrack featuring 2 CD's of music from the beloved Filmation cartoon. I'm on the fence about picking it up but the bastards also had scores to The Flash from 1990, The Warriors and The Phantom on sale! Arrrgh, choices. I ended up with The Phantom and will contemplate the other titles over the weekend, don't wanna blow my wad on the first night, amirite? Ran into La-La representative and #MovieBro Mike Joffe whom I met through my #ActionBro David J. Moore at Conan the Destroyer as we chatted about all the awesome soundtracks La-La puts out.

It was time to eat but nobody told this guy a frigging Mighty Ducks AND Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Game were going on so getting over to Orange staple The Lazy Dog Cafe seemingly took forever. Luckily their Whiskey Ginger (Jameson & Ginger Beer) along with lots of mac n' cheese, edamame and a burger solved all our problems. Our Lyft driver back was a cool guy, a vegan chef inbetween gigs who loved sci-fi movies too boot. We talked Aliens, Blade Runner, DC versus Marvel, Masters of the Universe and how Dolph Lundgren was a perfect He-Man. Tomorrow will probably be crazy but I'm stoked to walk the rest of the floor as well as check out some panels on writing, pulp heroes, Warner Brothers' presentation and Capcom! See you at the show!

Casey Casting: Stephen Amell in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II

Hitting the webs right before April Fool's Day was the announcement that former Hung, almost Spartacus and current Arrow Oliver Queen Stephen Amell would be donning the hockey mask to play the beat'em up vigilante Casey Jones in a sequel to Paramount's hit reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from 2014. That flick, produced by Michael Bay had many a fan treading cautiously to the theaters but surprisingly delivered a fast, fun and of course, action packed time at the movies and grossed $464 million bucks worldwide. While the Turtles' CGI avatars and freakish size coupled with Splinter's seemingly unfinished appearance was a little jarring, overall the movie didn't take itself too seriously and had a few laughs along with brotherly rabble rousing. It was weird that Splinter learned the art of Ninja from a book but I guess it's not any more far fetched than a pet rat mimicking his masters movements from his cage like in the 1990 movie.

Amell has starred on 3 seasons of CW's hit show Arrow where he plays a stern and physical vigilante aiming to clean up his city through martial arts and archery. According to Variety Amell was among half a dozen Casey hopefuls but his chemistry with star Megan Fox sealed the deal. The casting came as a surprise to some but not much of a shock to me. Here's a guy already known to the comic book world who plays a vigilante already and probably didn't cost a fortune. With Warner Brothers not enlisting Amell for any big screen DC outings, more power to him for landing in another comic book based, fancentric franchise. I had seen Amell on Hung opposite former The Punisher Thomas Jane where he starred as a dim yet studly competitor to Jane's "happiness consultant". After the unfortunate passing of Andy Whitfield, the in shape Amell was a finalist for Spartacus but lost out to Liam McIntyre. He does a solid job on Arrow at playing a Bruce Wayne-esque party boy along with a sullen anti-hero who says "Thank You" a lot. Like a lot, a lot. Throw a wig on him and let him go crazy and I think he'll do a solid job.

Appearing in a Raphael one-shot in 1985 from Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, we're introduced to Casey Jones in his crap filled apartment where he's watching cop shows and movies on three televisions simultaneously while lifting weights. Convinced that there's too much scum on the streets and not enough good guys, Jones picks up a golf bag full of bats, hockey sticks and clubs, dons a hockey mask and sets out to help the cops take on the bad guys. Breaking the leg of a purse snatcher, the overzealous Jones runs into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and hothead Raphael who thinks this quest of justice has gone a little too far. The two battle for pages and pages finally coming to an understanding that no one deserves to die for stealing a tape deck. When the scream of a woman needing help catches both their attention, they dash off into the night to mete out some sports equipment and karate kicking comeuppance.

Jones made his cinematic debut in the 1990 film along with Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael, Splinter, April O'Neil and The Shredder. Played by Montreal native but New York and Acting Studio trained actor Elias Koteas, we meet Jones stalking some purse snatchers and beating their butts with a hockey stick. Like the comics, Raphael intervenes and the two go at it with fists, trash cans, flips, kicks, Jose Canseco bats, cricket paddles and constant quips. Koteas is pitch perfect as the physical and attitude dripping Jones in his action scenes and opposites attract romance with April (Judith Hoag). Koteas would go on to have a solid career in TV and film popping up in The Thin Red Line, Collateral Damage, Shooter, Shutter Island, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and many more. Asked about his experience on the film and Koteas says he doesn't think about it much but remembers having fun playing a swashbuckling hero type and how it could take over a dozen takes to get the animatronic turtles right in a scene. Koteas returned to the role in 1993's present day and feudal Japan set part III. The role was voiced by The Human Torch and future Captain America Chris Evans in 2007's animated feature.

Until 2016, "Goongala! Goongala!"

Fight Friday: Who Would Win?

Who would win in a fight, Batman or Darth Vader?  Chuck Norris.  "Who would win in a fight?" has long been a question sought to be answered by popular entertainment.  In the 90's nary an interview with Jean-Claude Van Damme would be missing the query, who would win in a fight between you and say Steven Seagal or Mike Tyson?  Hypothetical match ups like those are the excited small talk of school yard children and 40 year old businessmen alike.  The original UFC pitted fighters from various disciplines against one another to see which style reigned supreme.  Dark Horse Comics licensed sci-fi movie staples Aliens and Predator in the early 90's, producing several well received comic runs and eventually studio Fox released two films in the early 2000's.  A 1996 mini-series crossed the Marvel and DC universes where Captain America fell to Batman, Superman bested The Hulk, etc.  In 2003 Stan Winston studio veteran Sandy Collora forever changed the fan film when his Batman: Dead End featured the title character, nemesis The Joker then inexplicably an Alien and Predators locked in rain soaked, dark alley combat. 

Cut to 2014 where the fan film has gone professional thanks to advances in technology and distribution.  Collara himself was already a seasoned pro in the world of special effects and intended for Dead End to become a calling card for directing features.  Even with the fan approval of Dead End and it's follow up, World's Finest, which saw Batman take on Superman, Collara has yet to direct a mainstream film.  Collara did lay down the groundwork for others though.  Music video and feature director Kevin Tancharoen's $7,000 self funded Mortal Kombat: Legacy was picked up by Warner Brothers and given two seasons online.  Martial artist, stunt man and Street Fighter aficionado Joey Ansah co-wrote, directed, produced and starred in 2010's fan film Legacy which led to securing the rights from Capcom for a web series.  Said web series debuted and was reedited into a feature recently released on home video with a follow up is in the works.  Then there was the curious case of The Punisher: Dirty Laundry, an unsanctioned fan film featuring Thomas Jane in a vague sequel to the 2004 Marvel movie he starred in.  Accomplished  movie and music video director and former Steven Spielberg protege Phil Joanou helmed and again, an experienced crew was behind the scenes.  More of a way to say goodbye to the role after departing the lackluster sequel, Jane proved he was a true fan of the character while gaining some internet heat and rejuvenating Joanou's career.  The two recently teamed up on a feature for low budget genre maestro Jason Blum for a yet to be released thriller.

Today I just caught wind of a new kind of "who would win?" format that harnesses all the powers of comic conventions, fan films and YouTube: Super Power Beat Down.  The brainchild of father-son team Aaron and Sean Schoenke, SPBD asks audiences to pick who would win in a fight between two pop culture icons. Once the votes are tallied, the team goes to work writing and producing a short film where characters from various universes of movies, video games and comic books collide.  They've produced 14 episodes so far with the likes of Captain America VS Master Chief, Casey Jones VS Kick-Ass, Wolverine VS Predator and the latest, Batman VS Darth Vader.  It's an interesting package as we start in a comic shop where passionate fans discuss the match up followed by footage shot on location at various comic conventions where attendees and celebrities alike offer their opinions.  Then it's show time and we get handsomely produced but still very fan film feeling fight scenes.  Cap and Master Chief face off in a rocky and dusty canyon, Casey Jones gets dropped off by an awkwardly costumed Michelangelo in a funny bit before facing Kick-Ass under a bridge by the train tracks, Wolvie and the Predator throw down in the woods and in a creek then Batman attempts to rescue Superman but runs into Darth Vader on the Death Star.

The latest episode is by far the most polished of the half dozen I skimmed through today.  The ambition is immense as Batman jets to the Death Star, we get Storm Troopers, officials and of course a knockdown brawl utilizing The Force, Batman trinkets, explosions and frigging light sabers.  In this day and age of cosplay and replicas, the outfits for Bats and Vader were pretty impressive yet functional.  All of the episodes suffer slightly from stiff or forced acting from stunt men types but deliver pretty well choreographed scraps with each episode having a clear winner, usually by way of violent death.  It will be interesting to see where the Schoenke's go from here as their backgrounds are more in the fan film world versus professionals looking to branch out.  Until then, I'm putting my money on Ryu, Green Ranger is going down!

Gotta (maybe) Eat! Uncle Darrow's

A co-worker had a hankering for gumbo so we set off to check out Uncle Darrow's in Venice.  I'm not sure what'd you call it, Southern, Louisiana, Cajun style cuisine?  You had your Po Boy sammiches, gumbo, jambalaya, fried fish and beignets.  Located on the busy and annoying Lincoln avenue, there's spacious parking in the back that's free with validation.  We beat the lunch rush which was a good thing because this place is not set up for crowds.  I was torn between a soft shell crab Po Boy or just getting a mess of stuff on their Combo Platter Dinner.  The dinner won out and I got a plateful of fried oysters (delicious, big and tender), shrimp (tiny, chewy) and farm-fed catfish (light, not too heavy), potato salad, jambalaya and corn bread.  The fry coating made everything kind of taste the same but it was surprisingly not that heavy a meal considering most of it was deep fried.  As lunch goers started to arrive I ordered some beignets to go and that's where things went south for me and Uncle D, it took 20 minutes to deep fry some batter and hit it with powdered sugar when there were only 3 orders in front of us.  I noticed one of the cooks come out with a bag and figured it was mine as the cashier just let it sit there and didn't even tell me the order was ready.  I wonder if there's an H. Salt around here any place...

Whoever came up with Napoleon Bonafrog is a Got Damme genius:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Saturday

After seeing the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles flick last week, it was time for a trek back through time to revisit some of their earlier incarnations.  I can't recall my first TMNT memories but I do remember watching the cartoons in grade school, seeing at least the 2nd and 3rd films in theaters in 1991 and 1993 and picking up some comics in the 90's.  Cut to today and snooping around my unpacked apartment I found a plethora of TMNT gear in the form of comics, DVD's and even local cable coming through with the movies playing.

TMNT, 2007 - The last cinematic turtle adventure before this weekend's release was an all CGI flick from Imagi, an animation studio out of Hong Kong that found mild success with TMNT but folded after the lackluster of follow up adaptation Astro Boy.  Written and directed by Kevin Munroe, TMNT plays like a sequel to the 3 live action films and starts off interestingly enough with the shell backed brothers a broken unit.  Leonardo is off in the jungles training to become a better leader, Raphael dons an armored suit and fights crime at night as a vigilante, Donatello works as an IT troubleshooter over the phone while Michelangelo puts on a big head and lends himself out to children's parties.  Meanwhile April O'Neil and former night stalker Casey Jones are an item with the former getting into trouble after she accidentally helps some rich business dude bring back an army of evil warriors.  All in, TMNT is a lot of fun that draws from the Eastman and Laird comics as well as the live action movies.  The animation isn't exactly top notch but it gets the job done with slick fights, moody city landscapes and lots of cool character design with the armored up warrior villains.  The humor is childish but funny especially Michelangelo's quips and making Splinter a soap opera fan. A fantastic voice cast includes Chris Evans, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Mako, Kevin Smith and Laurence Fishburne. 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Book II, 1987 - A bound collection of the original comic books but colorized.  And boy, these comics are crazy!  I'm always surprised at how dense yet fast and fun Eastman and Laird's original series was.  In these few issues, I think it's #4, 5 & 6, we see the robotic Mousers capture Splinter, the turtles infiltrating T.C.R.I., a techno-cosmic shell company hiding robotic employees with brains for stomachs, the Turtles sent to another dimension via a translocation device, going on the run with a fugitive robot with the mind of his creator and fighting humanoid triceratops!  In the comics each turtle dons a red bandanna so you can only really tell them apart by their straps and weapons.  Their personalities aren't as divided up as they would be in the cartoon but you still have Leonardo as the level headed leader, Raphael as the hot head who kicks first and talks later, Donatello as the gadget-y guy with all the plans and Michelangelo as the goofy one.  There's action galore with fist and feeticuffs, laser rifles, flying cars, arena matches to the death and much more.  There's awesome splash pages of action scenes and vistas including space stations and an alien filled cantina...it all looks great in color as the massive amount of texture and detail gets a little lost in black and white.  There's even an order form for f.h.e.'s VHS release of the cartoon in the back.  3 episodes for $35 bucks!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 1987 - The cartoon series that would go on to run for nearly 10 years started as a 5 part mini-series in 1987 with Turtle Tracks and Enter: The Shredder where we meet the Turtles, Splinter, April O'Neil, Shredder, his alien boss Krang and the robotic Foot Clan soldiers.  For some reason I remembered the 5 part series being a little darker then what would follow in the full season pick up but Damme, this shit is corny!  Raphael is a walking one-liner factory, no one knows why Hamato Yoshi lives in a sewer, the bros eat pizza with cereal for breakfast, visit a Ninja pizzeria in the Ninja district, push over a concrete wall instead of fighting some robots then somehow break a water main that fills up the top stories of a skyscraper...basically, it's kids stuff.  Fun, but definitely for kids.  So anybody who claims the new movie is too kiddy compared to the cartoon series needs to go back and check out how not serious it is.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, 1993 - And finally, caught a few minutes of TMNT III on cable to wrap up the weekend.  The only things I really remembered from this flick were the strange appearance of the Turtles due to not using Jim Henson's workshop so they all look very rubbery and are given an abundance of spots/freckles for some reason.  Casey Jones shows up but doesn't get to do much, the use of the song Tarzan Boy and the really bad CGI death of villain Stuart Wilson.  Something about a magic scepter that if people of the same weight are holding it, they get swapped in time so the Turtles and April end up in feudal Japan and some samurai warriors and a prince get to hang out in NYC.  The Turtles still look really weird with their rubber suits and freckled faces and the animatronic mouths don't match up with much of the dialog.  There's still plenty of jokes and a little bit of heart to go around as the Turtles help local villagers defend themselves against aggressive European troops armed with rifles.  One of these days I'll have to sit down and watch the whole thing.  Maybe on VHS to give it the full effect.
 
California roll!

The 80's Called...

But it wasn't long distance because they're still here!  Just checking in with your roundup of all things Dammaged Goods 80's appropriate... but today!  The "Me" decade of excess, cocaine, yuppies, viral diseases, teased hair, amphibious comic book heroes and cartoonish action heroes continues it's comeback.  From this week alone:

- The Expendables 3 is nearly here, the reunion of cinematic tough guys led by Sylvester Stallone and featuring no less than 80's icon Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren, Robert Davi and Harrison Ford.  Early word is that it's the best of the series yet with a nice mix of bro-humor and lots and lots of explosions.  I'll be seeing all 3 of them in the theater this Thursday which means, yup, JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME on the big screen!  Crowds turned up to premieres in the United Kingdom, Spain and Germany this past week where stars Stallone, Jason Statham, Kellan Lutz, Antonio Banderas and Wesley Snipes greeted fans and media on the red carpet.  This coming Monday, the boys are back in town stateside for the Hollywood premiere at the historical Chinese Theater.

- Speaking of The Real JC...VD, his seminal "born in Belgium but living in Los Angeles", revenge seeking, American dancing, Muy Thai fighting flick Kickboxer is about to be rebooted.  This week's casting news saw Guardians of the Galaxy's Dave Bautista, Ong Bak's Tony Jaa and The Expendables 2's Scott Adkins rumored to be joining MMA champion Georges St. Pierre and newcomer Alan Moussi in the 3D update.  No word yet on JCVD being lined up for a cameo...

- The weekend's number one movie?  Why it's the latest adaptation of 1984's comic book phenomenon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!  Overcoming tepid reviews and misplaced keyboard warrior wrath due to it's connection to Michael Bay and Megan Fox, TMNT defied expectations and raked in a whopping $65 million shell-backs.  Making it the 4th biggest opening in August of all time behind Guardians of the Galaxy, The Bourne Ultimatum and Rush Hour 2.  A sequel has already been dated for June 3rd, 2016.  Bring on Casey Jones, Bebop, Rocksteady and the Triceratons!

- Know what else came out in 1984?  James Cameron's tech-noir, B-movie thriller masterpiece The Terminator!  Production wrapped this week on the 5th installment with Arnold Schwarzenegger breaking the title on Instagram.  What was once Terminator: Genesis has now become Terminator: Genisys...why?  I dunno...

Spandex, tank tops, shoes without socks, Transformers, what's next?!

Huey, Arnie and Donny...Johnson!

Summer Cinema: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Arriving 7 years after their last theatrical outing and nearly 25 since their first onscreen adaptation, Paramount's reported $125 million dollar update of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hits screens this weekend to challenge box office breaking Guardians of the Galaxy.  While it won't scale the financial heights of Marvel's sci-fi action flick, Turtles is looking to clean up $40 million bucks worth of ninjitsu fighting, pizza loving, heroes in a half shell nostalgia.  Since being announced, the new TMNT film has faced an uphill battle against naysaying fanboys who would boycott the project based on producer Michael Bay and leading lady Megan Fox's involvement alone.  I myself love Bay's work from Bad Boys to The Rock to Armageddon, parts of Bad Boys II and of course 2013's greatest film, Pain & Gain.  His Transformers films might be bloated examples but the dude knows how to make shit look good, casts familiar faces and delivers awe inspiring destruction and Bay-hem that's hard to top.  I'm pretty indifferent to Megan Fox, I don't think she's any better or worse an actress than whichever would be starlet Hollywood publicists try to push on the public. 

The production encountered an early online brouhaha with rumors of the turtles being aliens which is actually derived from the comic books (created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird) since it was revealed the mutagenic ooze came from beyond our planet.  The first images from the design stage had the turtles looking more realistic with angled features and nearly grotesque appearances, far from the cute and cuddly rounded faces of 1990's Jim Henson Creature Shop creations.  Casting wise, joining Fox as reporter April O'Neil would be funny guy Will Arnett as cameraman Vernon, Whoopi Goldberg (?!) as their boss and Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer regular William Fichtner as businessman and scientist Eric Sacks.  The turtles themselves would be played by actors utilizing performance capture and CGI.  In modern day New York City, paramilitary group The Foot Clan terrorizes the population via an unchallenged crime spree.  Wanna be reporter April O'Neil catches them in the act stealing stuff down at the docks but being stopped by a mysterious vigilante who leaves a Japanese symbol graffiti tag as a calling card that nobody notices except for her.  The Foot Clan then take hostages in a subway station to draw the vigilante out for a confrontation and are soundly thumped by what turns out to be 4 mysterious fighters.  Of course, those four are our Ninja Turtles.  This go around, April O'Neil's history is intertwined with the Turtles thus giving them a quick connection and convenient story beats.  After that it's action scene on top of action scene mixed with brotherly banter as the Turtles face off against the formidable new age Shredder whose oversized suit is like the scary offspring of Iron Man, Megatron and a Swiss Army knife.

Not expecting much, I was surprised at how at easily digestible and enjoyable Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was.  It's slick, fun and extremely fast paced with many laughs and lots and lots of action.  Director Jonathan Liebesman had previously given us the light and entertaining Wrath of the Titans, a flick that you enjoy watching and then don't think much about after.  With TMNT, once the movie gets going, it's set piece into set piece into final showdown so we're talking shadowy fisticuffs, lots of jump spinning multiple kicks, machine gun fire, hands behind your back karate, a downhill Hummer and big rig chase scene in the snow, magnetic knife launching, toppling buildings and a whole lot more set to a big, exciting score by Brian Tyler.  Oh yeah and there's pizza of course, courtesy of Pizza Hut in 2014 versus Domino's in 1990.  The Turtles look a little funny with their noses, nostrils and inhuman size but it works to give them each distinctive looks and personality.  You know you're watching a computer generated image but it's not like watching a cartoon.  The subjects of genetic experimentation by way of alien world ooze, the half shells grow up in the sewer watching television and absorbing popular culture.  The Turtles are quick witted, wise cracking and reference spewing along with their kind of lame explanation of acquiring ninja skills.  If you'll remember from the first film, Splinter watches his master Hamato Yoshi practice ninjitsu from his cage and hilariously mimics the movements.  In this version, there is no Hamato Yoshi and the crew is self taught.  Splinter is badass here though, a physical force who punishes the young Turtles with hours long physical and mental tests, has a nimble, whip like tail and knuckles up and throws down when the occasion arises. 

Moving so quickly, there isn't much time to dwell on rich character development but you get enough sense of the Turtles, April, Splinter and Sacks that you're not exactly clamoring for more.  Leo is still the calm/serious leader, Donatello the gadget guy, Raphael the insecure/macho one with Michelangelo bringing up goofball/stoner dude duties. They're all painted in broad strokes which suits the story just fine.  I was actually surprised at the economy of the script by Josh Applebaum, Andre Nemec and Evan Daugherty as everything is tied up pretty cleanly without being overly complicated or diluted.  Sure some of Fichtner's dialog is generic and delivered laughably while Megan Fox exclaiming "Shredder!" had the theater howling from it's awkward, shrieking delivery.  All in all, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles might not have the heart and charm of the original film but still delivers an enjoyable 100 minutes with enough laughs and flash for 13 and 30 year olds.  Plus, the end credits of splash pages and rap jam Shell Shocked bumping made you want to get up and do some Ninja Rap style dancing.

Interestingly enough, Paramount now holds the rights to 80's cartoon classics G.I. Joe, Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  I wonder if they'll do a Marvel/DC style universe team up...

San Diego Comic-Con 2014: SaturDAZE Part I w/ Ernie Reyes, Jr

Saturday in San Diego started at 5:00AM as I was volunteering for the 3rd year in a row at 6:00AM.  My first year included packaging the welcome kits con goers receive upon entry, you know, those big WB branded bags and the commemorative book/event guides?  Last year I got put on the Hasbro line duty where I helped masses of toy buying fans queue up to pick up convention exclusives and met my first Brony.  This year I was hoping for the same thing and got Autograph Line where I'd either be waiting in line for someone physically unable or directing traffic.  Luckily I got to direct traffic and helped organize die hards who had lined up as early as the night before to get signatures from the casts and crews of The Hobbit, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, The Flash, Arrow and Constantine among the 9 options.  A set number of pretty nifty hologram wristbands were doled out for each title with The Hobbit reaching capacity first followed by Arrow.  I experienced my first Con induced heartache of the day as I witnessed a young fan who had been in line for hours before 6:00AM have the wind taken out of her sails and walk off, totally not interested in the other 8 signings.  Overall it was a fun shift talking to the security crew, Con staff and attendees in line.  Being so early, it's not hot yet, people are too tired to be grumpy and I was standing right by the beautiful marina and water front.  From there I observed the huge Hall H line that wrapped around the marina's concrete sidewalk into the island park.  I couldn't help but think a breakfast cart/truck would do gangbusters as there were around 3,000 folks in line.

Walking back to this year's Comic-Con'do was a little tricky at 9:30AM as everyone is trying to get in.  The sidewalk was packed with attendees trying to get in along with those annoying Bible thumpers taking up valuable space.  I witnessed a young girl having a panic attack and being helped by a local police officer but I wonder if that was a ploy to get out of the crowd...come on, it's Comic-Con, massive hordes of people is just part of the deal.  The only panel I was really gunning for on Saturday was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 30th Anniversary a shellebration of 3 decades of comics, cartoons, toys, movies, video games, merchandise and heroes in a half shell.  Unfortunately I over napped and arrived at the line 30 minutes before the panel to find a huge crowd already waiting.  However, I spotted mother fucking Ernie Reyes, Jr., the martial artist/actor who played Donatello's fight double in TMNT then graduated to lead role Keno the pizza boy in Secret of the Ooze before headlining Surf Ninjas!  Some other guys in line and I went over and got in quick greetings and photos as Reyes, Jr. was uber cool and rocking the red and white pizza delivery jacket costume from the movie!  Oh and he looks younger than I do even though he's 10 years older.  Jerk.  It was a nice consolation prize as I did not get into the panel but hey, I've seen lot of Ninja Turtle stuff through the years and gotten to meet Kevin Eastman and now Keno himself.

With time to spare before my next panel, I popped into The Art of Fear where horror authors riffed on how they scare audiences and approach the craft of writing.  For what I thought would be a nice filler panel, it was actually quite informative and entertaining.  The panel talked about drawing inspiration from real life events such as the Salem witch trials, new strains of virus, trends in mental health and more.  While some of the self induced horror smacked of BS to me (it's dark, oh no!), it was fascinating to hear about how at one time or another, things we find totally fantastic and false (witches, vampires) were real fears to large segments of the population.  It will be interesting to see what people 100 years from now laugh at us for being afraid of.  The authors also discussed their writing methods and how they got their starts.  One uses Excel spreadsheets to keep track of her characters, sub-plots and twists while another explained how he self published to Amazon and after 10 days his title became a hit and big time publishers came looking with a 4 book deal.  All in a pleasant surprise and sadly more engrossing than the panel I was actually waiting for...

Which was Big Trouble in Little China: Shaking the Pillars of the Comics Industry, a look at BOOM! Studios new title based on the 1986 John Carpenter cult classic film starring Kurt Russell, Dennis Dun, James Hong and Victor Wong.  I picked up the first 2 issues of the series at the show earlier in the week and found # 1 funny and an interesting take on the movie that didn't quite make sense story wise but went along with it.  I don't know what it is but this is the 2nd panel on Big Trouble I've seen that didn't include anyone involved in the actual film that came off very lackluster.  Remember when I saw it with the creators of Robot Chicken and a film school guy who wears scarves with graphic tees and it sucked?  This wasn't quite as bad but wasn't one for the Con books either.  Writer Eric Powell didn't have much to say beyond he thought he could do a good Jack Burton and that John Carpenter is down to earth and not a typical Hollywood douche.  Editor Ian Brill chimed in talking about the genesis of the project and how much everyone loves Carpenter while moderator Chris Sims told us he made his new lady friend watch Big Trouble on one of their first dates.  I wondered if the creators went through any old drafts of the screenplay by W.D. Richter and Gary Goldman for inspiration but there were a lot of questions about nothing in particular asked.  I did however sit next to a nice guy dressed as Jack Burton himself and behind a woman who attended on behalf of her super fan husband who could not be there.

San Diego Comic-Con 2014: Thursday w/ Turtles and Paramount

Hot Damme, Thursday, literally, it's hot out!  Welcome to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Thursday because it's TMNT all over the Con.  After walking the floor for a bit, I ducked into the Marriott's screening room to catch, you guessed it, 1990's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!  A classic comic book movie before there were comic book movies, TMNT still holds up with it's deft blend of action, laughs, brotherly love, production values and Henson assisted costumes and animatronic heads.  Back on the floor I scouted out Mondo's booth and picked up their selection of Batman: The Animated Series vinyls of Clayface, The Joker, Mr. Freeze and Harley Quinn.  NECA was sold out of exclusive Pacific Rim Jaegers but may have more tomorrow.  Remember yesterday when I told you I bet I could walk right into Hall H for Paramount's 3:00PM session?  Yeah, totally did.  Even stopped to get lunch and grabbed a decent seat near the first pillars.  After Hall H welcomed Benedict Cumberbatch for DreamWorks' latest animated romp then The Dude himself Jeff Bridges showed up to talk about The Giver.  Bridges' advice for young careers was to pull a Stallone and go out and make their Rocky since anybody with a cell phone is now a filmmaker. 

After a short intermission it was time for Paramount's panel.  The guide listed no information, just a look at their upcoming slate.  Ninja Turtles was up first as a quick clip showcasing the awesome franchise going from simple sketch to the comic book, cartoon, live action movie, toy and video game empire played before TMNT co-creator Kevin Eastman took the stage to somewhat surprisingly muted applause.  I'm guessing the crowd is still on the fence about the new Turtles movie as it looks like they've been "Transformer-ized" or "Bayhem-ed" with a super slick, destruction heavy trailer which I didn't mind but their borderline grotesque design and CGI appearance hasn't whet my appetite.  The producers claim to have been longtime fans and one even produced a signed photo of Kevin from 21 years ago.  Eastman says the flick is fantastic and that the producers were intent on making the best TMNT movie possible from the start 3 years ago.  A clip introducing reporter April O'Neil and the turtles rolled which was surprisingly enjoyable with a nice mix of big action and humor, mostly coming from Michelangelo's wise cracking.  Actors Megan Fox and Will Arnett were brought out with the former being a fan since childhood and the latter just being an extremely funny guy.  Another clip played showcasing another big action scene involving snow, big rigs, hummers, rocket launchers and bulletproof shells.  The voices of the Turtles was a little hard to get used to as it's Johnny Knoxville as Leonardo, Anthony Shalhoub (PAIN & GAIN!) as Splinter with Mikey sounding like a little kid and Raphael coming off as RZA. 


Some other movie about time travel was previewed before audio from Hercules filled the room and boom, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson walked onto the floor and greeted the fans before taking the stage and welcoming himself back, WWE style.  Funny, huge and seemingly happy to be there, The Rock let us know he bought out 3 theaters and would Tweet the details to attending a free screening.  Clarke Duke came out with two lovely ladies on his arms to show us a trailer for Hot Tub Time Machine 2 which looks pretty Damme funny as they're sent to the future this time around.  Then a new trailer for Christopher Nolan's Interstellar played, this one interspersing snippets from former astronauts in with the film.  Our moderator introduced a first time Comic-Con attendee, Matthew McConaughey!  The Reign of Fire star and Oscar winner looked very ruggedly handsome while explaining that he got a call from his agent to meet Chris Nolan, went to his house for a 3 hour meeting where they discussed everything except working on a film together.  A week later a script showed up and Denton Van Zan was in.  Guess we can really call it the McCONaissance now huh?  McConaughey wanted to hear Hall H's legendary hollering before describing Nolan as an original, the director might have been inspired by a Stanley Kubrick movie but his interpretation would be wholly new.  Another Comic-Con first, director of Inception and The Dark Knight Trilogy Christopher Nolan walked out looking as dapper as can be.  Without giving too much away, Nolan discussed his love for science-fiction and how in his youth, becoming an astronaut was the highest career someone could aim for.  Influenced by the likes of 2001, Star Wars and Blade Runner (his favorite film), Nolan talked about making things as real as possible for the actors in terms of sets and production and using IMAX to enhance the experience. 

Next on deck is a panel on the history of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the form of a new documentary as well as Hero Complex's Comic-Con soiree and maybe a movie trivia contest.

Sneak Cinema: John Wick

Keanu Reeves.  The most unlikely movie star of the 90's?  I've always liked the guy and his performances in films like Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Point Break, Bogus Journey, Speed, The Replacements and The Gift show he's an actor capable of drama, action and comedy.  1999's The Matrix and it's subsequent sequels established him as one of the globe's most recognizable stars but I never got past the first installment and wasn't much of a fan.  Since then he's popped up in productions big and small while directing a documentary about film versus digital then again on kung-fu flick Man of Tai Chi which was given a small theatrical release along with Video On Demand.  His big budget samurai flick 47 Ronin got lost in the holiday shuffle after a tumultuous production and little critical or fan support.  A bit of a recluse and loner, Reeves doesn't seem to be chasing Hollywood leading man status and has been known to give up part of his salary to pay for co-stars and crew.

Lately, Reeves has upped his professional output having replaced Daniel Craig in court room drama The Whole Truth but before then audiences can see him in action film John Wick.  Written by Derek Kolstad of Cuba Gooding, Jr., Steve Austin and Dolph Lundgren team ups The Package and One in the Chamber and directed by stunt men and 87Eleven founders Chad Stahelski and David Leitch.  Stahleski has doubled Reeves in the past and served as Stunt Coordinator and Second Unit Director on films like The Hunger Games, Killer Elite and The Expendables while Leitch has doubled for the likes of Brad Pitt and Jean-Claude Van Damme then served as Stunt and Second Unit maestro on flicks such as The Wolverine, Escape Plan and upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Jurassic Park reboots.  He also played Terry Bogard in video game adaptation of The King of Fighters, which is cool.  87Eleven is the brainchild of experienced stunt performers looking to design and create safe yet uniquely violent, physical, on screen action.  They have a gym by the LAX airport frequented by the likes of Jason Statham, Gerard Butler and Ryan Reynolds while fight film staples and martial artists turned coordinators Larnell Stovall (Ride Along, Undisputed 3) and J.J. "Loco" Perry (Vanishing Son, Warrior) are among the staff.

John Wick is the story of a legendary but retired hitman who is brought back to the violent trade when some Russian gangsters mess with him.  Contracts are put on his life and Wick must fend off former friends and foes while tracking down the son of a local mob boss who did him wrong in violent, modern day The Punisher and Taken style.  With an impressive supporting cast that includes Adrianne Palicki (G.I. Joe 2), Alfie Allen (Game of Thrones) and Willem Dafoe (To Live and Die in L.A.) with appearances by Bridget Moynahan (Tom Sellack's Blue Bloods), Ian McShane (Death Race), Kevin Nash (The Punisher), Daniel Bernhardt (Bloodsport 2), John Leguizamo (Executive Decision) and David Patrick Kelly (The Warriors), John Wick might not rewrite the book on action films but looks to provide a moody, stylized, tactical rough and tumble affair that should console any action fan disappointed by the fact that The Expendables III is PG-13.

(Pre) Con-Man: San Diego Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con is just around the corner and event/panel announcements are dropping left and right.  I'll be arriving Wednesday for Preview Night where early screenings of the new Flash and Constantine shows will be debuted but they run during exhibition hall hours so forget that!  Offsite you can check out a screening of Warner Brothers' new age take on Bill Paxton's Twister, Into the Storm in the Gaslamp District as well as see displays and props from Godzilla to hype up the home video release.  In a strange bit of scheduling, Image Expo, the industry conference where the independent publishing powerhouse trots out special guests for announcements, will be held next door at the Hilton Bayfront.  Maybe not that strange since throngs of creators will already be in town and they can draft from the abundant media and crowd.

Panel wise there's over 1,000 to choose from over 4 days highlighting just about everything creative arts where you can work on your illustrating, painting, pitching, publishing, writing, self-promotion and legal skills.  Writers and artists from all eras will get their light as I noticed Bill Finger, Neal Adams, John Romita, Jr, Mark Waid, Len Wein, Jim Steranko and many, many more will be topics of discussion.  For the kid in us you'll get updates from video game giant Capcom, the annual Street Fighter panel and an hour celebrating the 90's.  Anniversary wise Batman keeps on celebrating his 75th while Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rings in 30 years with several panels focused on the comic books, cartoons, toys and movies complete with Ernie Reyes, Jr. appearance!  Stan Sakai's Usagi Yojimbo also celebrates 30 awesome trips around the sun with an anniversary panel while Disney's Gargoyles cartoon turns 20 as well.

Randomly, Hollywood directors David Fincher and Quentin Tarantino will be hitting San Diego to discuss the legacy of Fight Club from novel to movie and the new Django Unchained comic book which has the hero meeting Zorro?!  Stop-motion animation innovator Phil Tippet will be on deck to discuss his career and future work as well.  Speaking of Hollywood, this year's Hall H line up is surprisingly sparse.  So far there are no confirmed sneaks at new Terminator, Stars Wars or Jurassic Park chapters but fans will get a look at The Hobbit, Marvel's upcoming slate and I'm sure new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles flick.  Sadly, Lionsgate is nowhere to be found which is surprisingly as the new Hunger Games flick hits in November but really I'm talking about no Expendables 3 panel!  Lionsgate has had a pretty heavy presence at Con for the last few years where in 2010 The Expendables took out Con king Scott Pilgrim at the box office.  Their floor booth is always crazy with tons of giveaway posters and pins.  But given recent misfires like Red 2, Escape Plan, Dredd and Ender's Game, maybe they're spending their money elsewhere.  IGN has bestowed an action icon award for the first two films and thrown a huge party but maybe since being bought the new owners don't want to spend the dough?  Who knows.

Could this lack of studio presence signal the start of Comic-Con's "downfall"?  By that I mean that the hype train could be over as heat from Comic-Con doesn't always equal real world success.  Just look at Superman Returns and The Green Lantern; 6,000 screaming fans equaled tepid box office.  Then you had Avatar which received a cool reception from Con goers in 2009 but became the biggest earner in history so who knows.  Personally, it would be nice to not have to deal with ALL the Hollywood BS of casual fans and parties taking up space and you'd probably have less people crying about not being able to get tickets.  Don't get me wrong, seeing Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson bring a fan to the stage and take photos with him for his birthday was amazing and a true Comic-Con moment but having to get in line at 5:00AM or camping out or sitting in the Hall all day to see one panel is just getting ridiculous as there's so much more to see outside.

See you in San Diego!

Street Fighter Saturday: Paneled Goods

It's been a Street Fighter filled weekend, partly by coincidence, mainly by choice.  First off, the live action web series Assassin's Fist debuted on YouTube via Machinima and fans could binge watch all 12 installments.  The weekend also included a birthday party at a newly opened barcade (bar/arcade) downtown where you guessed it, Street Fighter: Championship Edition was waiting for some button mashing.  I'm not a huge video game person but have always loved Street Fighter.  At it's core, it is the tale of the world warrior and a tournament designed to find the greatest fighter in the world.  Boxing, karate, sumo, thai boxing, etc are all represented by a cast of eclectic characters from around the globe.  I remember playing Street Fighter II at the local mall(s) along with stuff like Final Fight, the X-Men 6 person game, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Avengers, The Simpsons, Mortal Kombat, the G.I. Joe run and gun game and so many more in the early 90's.  As a Jean-Claude Van Damme fan and young martial arts enthusiast, SF was just the brand for me.  Mortal Kombat with it's ripped off story line, cheap play and added violence for attention just seemed like the game for poseurs and trendy fad types.  Street Fighter was classic, stoic and the original institution for fighting games.

In 1994, I would go to Electronics Boutique, (remember that place?!) to check out the latest games for the Super Nintendo.  They also sold a comic book I couldn't find in my local shop, an adaptation of Street Fighter from renowned Japanese artist and writer Masaomi Kanzaki.  Originally printed as a black and white Manga (little graphic novels read back to front), Street Fighter II was translated into English, colorized and rearranged to make a typical American style comic book.  The story of an artificial island dubbed Shad, a project of leading world economies working in harmony to produce a metropolitan power that fails under harsh financial woes.  Falling into disrepair, Shad becomes home to M. Bison and an annual grand tournament to find the world's best fighter.  Bison uses the island and tournament to sell a new drug called Doll which basically makes people into violent psychos and easily mind controlled.  Yeah, it's not exactly the deepest or most logical story that could go with a street fighting tournament.

We meet Ryu, a happy go lucky karate fighter with a huge appetite as he arrives in Shad looking to win the big tournament who can conjure up his energy and spirit and throw it at you in the form of a fireball known as a Hadouken.  Immediately befriending the struggling and grieving Po-Lin and her little brother Wong at their family restaurant, Ryu becomes their benefactor and protector from the city's local organized crime element.  We soon meet other fighters with their own reasons for being in Shad and fighting in the tournament.  There's female law enforcement officer Chun-Li, whose father was investigating Doll and killed by Bison.  More revenge fueled fighting comes from American Air Force pilot Guile, who's out to avenge the death of his best friend and unit due to Doll use.  Guile can conjure up pure energy by breaking the sound barrier and throwing it at you as a Sonic Boom.  Then we have Dhalsim from India who uses his winnings from the bouts to feed the hungry children in his country and can breathe fire.  Former sumo wrestling champion E. Honda is just looking for a new challenge (and ladies) while Bison employs former boxing phenomenon Balrog, the claw wielding, mask wearing, vain matador/ninja Vega and Muy Thai boxing giant Sagat as his ring of champions/assassins.

As our motley crew fights through the tournament and we learn more about them, we're later introduced to Ken, a blonde haired karate master that used to train with Ryu and knew Po-Lin's fiance, Cho, who has something to do with Doll then gets a knife to the chest from Vega.  Only now Ken is under the control of Bison and tries to kill Ryu by dumping a truck load of wet cement on him.  Yeesh, I thought we were friends!  In the comic we meet Ken and Ryu's teacher, Gouken, who gets his ass kicked by Bison in a flashback where Bison, Sagat and Vega are hunting down Cho and end up at the dojo.  Here, Ryu faces off with Sagat and hits him with the Sho-Ryu-Ken aka Dragon Punch and scars him for life.

Reading the comics again was a trip down memory lane.  First because I bought them as an 11 year old 20 years ago and because I'd just plain forgotten how convoluted the Street Fighter mythos is.  You wouldn't think a fighting tournament would need to have root in drug dealing crime syndicates but anytime the history is expanded upon, there's Shad, Shadowlaw, Shadaloo, etc to explain Bison's position of power.  Then there's the whole back story of Ken and Ryu being friends and rivals since childhood then the added vengeance stories of Chun-Li and Guile.  The comics read fast, like real fast and I breezed through all 8 issues in no time.  The art is an interesting mix of painted like texture, big visual battles with their mystical powers and cartoonish big eyes and expressions.  I laughed at some of the broad comedy in the pages like Ryu's penchant for eating and E. Honda being a pervert during his fight with the lovely Chun-Li.  While the story might not quite add up, Street Fighter II is a nice piece of the lore and helped expand the brand beyond arcade and video games.  Toys, posters, key chains, animated movies and shows, live action features and much more were on the way.

G.I. JOE Week: Hello, Joseph & Quick Kick

Welcome to G.I. JOE week and Hello, Joseph (Yo, Joe!, get it?) Our look at an individual member of the Joe clan.  Things got hot while watching The Pyramid of Darkness, the third mini-series in the original G.I. Joe cartoon, as America's highly trained special missions force in a race to stop ruthless terrorist organization Cobra from activating a global electricity sapping device.  Somewhere in the arctic, Joes Alpine and Bazooka intercept Major Bludd placing the third of four cubes needed to activate the Pyramid.  Alpine and "Bazook" get separated from the main force and end up rafting the frigid waters on a small ice berg.  To make things worse, they're attacked by killer leopard seals while Cobra Crimson Vipers under the command of evil ninja Storm Shadow, fire red lasers at them from the shore.  It looks like it might be curtains for our guys until a pair of well thrown nunchucks knock the seals back into the water.  Alpine and Bazooka look up to see a buff Asian dude clad in only black karate pants, white head band and red sash carrying shuriken (throwing stars) despite the frozen tundra and blowing snow.  With that, America was introduced to "star of stage, screen and a regular on the gun show, Quick Kick, stunt man extraordinaire".

Quick Kick then takes out 6 Crimson Vipers in as many moves before mixing it up revered badass Storm Shadow.  In an impressive bout of animated fisticuffs, Quick Kick and Storm Shadow trade blows before launching into simultaneous jump flying side kicks right out of a ninja movie that leaves the Cobra ninja face first in the snow.  After a quick introduction, Quick, Alpine and Bazook hitch a ride on a Cobra Hiss Tank where we learn Quick was shooting a commercial for Frozen Fudgy Bars but his director left him in the cold, taking the money and equipment.



I think they could have also called him Quick Quip because homeboy's always cracking jokes, quoting the likes of John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart and Jackie Gleason and talking about movies he's done with the likes of Robert Redford.  Quick Kick adds to the fun and goofy ass nature of The Pyramid of Darkness mini-series which also introduces us to Fatal Fluffies: cute, pet size alien creatures that morph into angry giant sasquatch type things when a special whistle is blown.  There's subplots involving commando Snake-Eyes break dancing and cross dressing to evade capture and you get Alpine yodeling to cause an avalanche in the snow...yup, fantastic stuff.

In a later episode of Joe, we learn that Quick Kick, real name MacArthur Ito, is from Watts, California, where his parents run a general store.  A quick search shows that Kick only had speaking parts in 11 episodes of G.I. Joe over it's 95 chapters and to my surprise was voiced by an Asian actor named Francois Chau.  Chau has dozens of credits to his name, appearing on just about every television show since the 80's and more recently recurred on ABC's Lost.  Even more to my surprise was that Storm Shadow's almost stereotypical "ah-so" whisper was voiced by Asian actor Keone Young, the mother fucking Baba Ram from Surf Ninjas!  This was a huge shock to me as the only other prominent animated Asian characters I can think of, like Hamato Yoshi aka Splinter and The Shredder on long running Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were voiced by non-Asians.  Although Shredder was played by Phil Avery aka Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air so it's not a total loss.  Then you had Samurai Jack, probably the only cartoon with an Asian main character, voiced by black actor Phil LaMarr of Futurama fame.  I've met him and he's a cool guy.  But you get what I'm saying, right?!

It's important to note that the show was only on for two years in 1985 and 1986.  This is where the Marvel comic book series kicks in because that shit ran for decades. In his toy bio, Quick is born to Japanese and Korean parents and is not accepted by either culture growing up.  He turns to martial arts and becomes a master in several disciplines before landing work as a stunt man.   In the comics, his background is expanded upon as his stunt work catches the eye of an on set military consultant who persuades him to enlist.  Soon after he's picked up by the Joe team and "awayyyy we go!".  In the comics lore, commando Snake-Eyes is one of the core characters and his background as a ninja is one of the most memorable arcs.  His rivalry with Storm Shadow is fierce and in the panels, Shadow puts a beating on Quick Kick.

The comic book version of Quick Kick would take part of several operations in multiple countries around the world over 5 years and nearly 20 issues.  By 1991's universe shattering issue 109, Quick Kick, along with Doc, Breaker, Heavy Metal, Crazylegs and several others were killed in a botched mission in Trucial Abysmia.

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