This, I Demand! Wild Card

Jason Statham's Wild Card is now streaming on Amazon Prime. Based on William Goldman's novel Heat, about a Las Vegas enforcer, the book was previously adapted in 1986 starring Burt Reynolds. The updated version was originally slated to be directed by The Untouchables' Brian DePalma before Simon West (Tomb Raider, Expendables II) stepped in. Set the dingy and high ends of Las Vegas, Statham's Nick Wild is a security expert working to make enough money to retire for five years and sail around the world. He's lucky but also doesn't know when to quit as he wins and loses fortunes at the blackjack table. One night, former lover turned working girl Holly (Dominik Garcia-Lorido) gets assaulted by the cocksure, low level gangster Danny DeMarco (Milo Ventimiglia) and his goons. After getting out of the Emergency Room, Holly wants her revenge and pulls Nick into it. Of course faces get smashed and egos destroyed so Wild becomes a target leading to much mayhem and bodily harm. A cast of slightly kooky characters fills the film as Nick encounters housekeepers in the know, bartenders, card dealers, trophy wives and admirers played by the likes of Michael Angarano, Hope Davis, Stanley Tucci, Jason Alexander, Sofia Vergara and Anne Heche in mostly short appearances.

Budgeted at an estimated $30 million, West crafts an entertaining character piece with style and panache to go with a few effective punch ups. Wild's reputation has him being such a bad ass that he doesn't use guns and could kill you with an ash tray five or fifteen feet away. Composer Dario Marianelli does an excellent job with the score and songs to keep the style going while the cast of familiar faces is a nice touch. This isn't an action fest by any means but the fight scenes are well done, one using slow motion and devastating infliction of damage to a mass melee through a bar and casino. The character beats, dramatic moments and lack of a shirtless scene for the lead indicate that Statham is continuing to push himself as a likable actor and action star. Less muscled than we've seen him in the last few years, it's said that Statham stayed lean through a diet of brown rice and spinach. I didn't get into Safe or Parker much, Homefront was a nice mix of action and drama but Wild Card is Statham's best movie in years. With his last starring vehicles not kicking up much business, Wild Card was released in a handful of theaters and VOD last year. Since then, Statham has re-energized his Hollywood stock with supporting roles in comedy Spy and over the top action franchise Furious 7. A sequel to 2011's The Mechanic is due for release this year and co-stars Tommy Lee Jones, Jessica Alba and Michelle Yeoh so we'll see if the British Bruce Willy can keep action films relevant in the Marvel age.

Catch Carl: The Big Year

Remember how I told you Carl Weathers is awesome? So it's good to see him popping up so much in recent days. In November, would be surprise award flick Creed garnered plenty of positive buzz, critical accolades and boffo box office. Not bad for the 7th movie of a franchise that started 40 years ago. The film utilized deceased Apollo to give us a new generation of screen lead with Michael B. Jordan's Adonis Johnson aka Creed. Weathers showed up at the premiere looking dapper and fit as usual, rubbing elbows and making fists with Stallone and Jordan. There's rumors that a sequel would employ Weathers in flashback scenes akin to The Godfather II. The same month, Weathers and fellow 80's icon Mickey Rourke co-starred in Nissan's The Delivery, an online short film showing off a new cargo van in a send up of action flicks and The Expendables that's garnered over a million views on YouTube alone. This past Thursday the 14th, Weathers turned 68 years young as we head into the premiere of Colony, Carlton Cuse's (Adventures of Brisco County, Jr., Nash Bridges, Lost) new show starring Josh Holloway about a future split up into factions of authorities and rebels. Weathers will guest star in multiple episodes as a cop of some type I believe. Happy birthday, Carl, keep it coming!

Watch This! Stallone & The Director's Chair

El Rey is an awesome channel. They show badass flicks like The Terminator, Big Trouble In Little China, Showdown In Little Tokyo, Red Sonja and many more in beautiful widescreen and digitally cleaned up. If you like horror movies, they've got you covered. Kung-fu flicks? Of course. And Miami Vice reruns are in regular rotation. One of their signature original programs is The Director's Chair where owner and host Robert Rodriguez sits down with other filmmakers to discuss their craft.

Cinematic icons and alumni include John Carpenter, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Zemeckis and George Miller. During their Labor Day marathon of Rocky flicks, clips of an upcoming episode featuring Sylvester Stallone were placed throughout and now you can watch it for free! It's an intimate setting with just the host and guest speaking about careers, inspirations, methods and influence. For Stallone, the program stuck mainly to the basics of Rocky, Rambo and The Expendables with no mention of hit sequel to Saturday Night Fever, Staying Alive. Since writing and starring in the Oscar winning and box office breaking Rocky, Stallone has never quite been given his due credit. One of the earliest franchises to grace cinema screens, it's easy to forget that Rocky truly was a million to one shot as Stallone wouldn't sell the script if he wasn't starring. When you think of film directors; a paunchy, nebbish, less than physical specimen wouldn't be a stereotype. But when you think that Stallone wrote and directed crowd pleasers with heart and action like Rocky III, IV, Rambo and The Expendables with a given scene requiring 9 cameras, complicated choreography and getting punched in the head while being in peak physical condition, it's a shame and a double standard that he isn't given more credit. Even after number one movies in five decades, the only actor with three franchises, boatloads of money and worldwide fame, the guy still manages to inspire. Check out the episode in its entirety below or over at El Rey and find out what all the fighting and fuss is about.

The Director's Chair: Sylvester Stallone - Full Episode
By order of Robert Rodriguez we're making the next episode of The Director's Chair, featuring Sylvester Stallone, available for FREE! Watch the entire episode right here, right now!
Posted by El Rey Network on Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Gotta Party! American Cinematheque Award

Who would have thought starting a blog and hosting a Van Damme double feature would someday lead to getting invited to a black tie awards gala? Not this guy, that's for sure. But invited we were and attend we did The American Cinematheque Award gala celebrating Reese Witherspoon and Sid Grauman Award winner Jeffrey Katzenberg. Described as a mid-career award, the Cinematheque honor basically tells recipients, we like you so keep it up. Held at the same swanky Century City Hyatt where work had a conference a few years ago, we chilled in the lobby with a whiskey ginger watching many a black tuxedo clad man and formal evening gown lady arrive. Downstairs we partook in the open bar and caught up with friends while catching the likes of Jennifer Garner and Kate Hudson milling about. I spotted Nu Image/Millennium head and The Expendables producer Avi Lerner grabbing a drink and went to make a quick introduction. I had seen the guy on the streets of San Diego in 2012 after the Expendables II panel and he told me part IV is happening!

Inside it was a lovely three course meal of salad, fish and dessert and each seat came with a gift bag filled with snacks, quinoa vodka and movies from Witherspoon's filmography. In the center of the ballroom I spotted Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Aniston among others visiting Reese's table. McConaughey is a pretty intense dude with laser focus in his eyes. As the evening progressed we heard from many a Hollywood big wig as they celebrated films on the big screen through non-profit The American Cinematheque and how they're still just dreamers doing what they love. Throughout the evening speakers like Laura Dern, Jennifer's Anison and Garner, Kate Hudson, Sofia Vergara and Alexander Payne shared Witherspoon's journey to stardom along with their experiences working with her. It was all very sweet and funny of course as Witherspoon was described as a fierce, funny, loyal and terrific human being who is there for her kids, doesn't BS and wants to do the best job possible. While I don't own a tuxedo or black suit, it was fun to throw on the ol' wedding suit and the entire evening was very casual and not stuffy at all. Congratulations to Witherspoon and Katzenberg but they don't need my support. See ya at the next one!

Dolph Days: Keeping Up

"Like none of this shit ever happened? It happened! And it doesn't just go away. 

You just can't walk away, do you hear me?! 

Do you hear me? (holds up necklace made of human ears)"

That's our boy Dolph Lundgren as Sgt. Andrew Scott in the 1992 classic action karate flick from Carolco, Universal Soldier. If you'll recall, Dolph Night at the Egyptian screened two of Mr. Lundgren's most well known works, Unisol and Rocky IV. Come April and Dolph is hitting Australia for a double feature tour featuring the same line up. Fans in Sydney, Melbourne and on the Gold Coast can meet the big Swede and see him on the bigger screen on his week long tour that also includes appearances at the Supanova Pop Culture Expo alongside other genre favorite actors, artists and writers.

For the stateside fans, Dolph popped up on Comedy Central's 90's loving Workaholics as himself looking oh so suave in a blazer, deep v-neck shirt and white pants. Dolph appeared throughout the episode in the forms of a life size standup doing karate and various photos in an obsessed fans computer slideshow. A burning question about Showdown in Little Tokyo ended the episode which also included references to Jean-Claude Van Damme and Unisol. TV viewers may also catch the Iron Man in a new Fox event series based on film series for older cinematic tough guys The Expendables. Details are scarce at the moment besides star Sylvester Stallone producing and hoping to reel in some TV icons of action. I'm not sure why they don't just use Dolph, Terry Crews and Randy Couture's characters as a base then add a guest star or five each episode.

On the film front, a new trailer and a poster for Dolph's passion project Skin Trade hit the web recently showcasing an awesome cast that includes Tony Jaa, Michael Jai White, Peter Weller and Ron Perlman. So that's He-Man, Ong-Bak, Spawn, Robocop and Hellboy all in the same 90 minutes! Inspired by real life human trafficking, Skin follows Dolph's detective as he interferes with a gangster's business then teams up with a Thai cop to exact bloody, high kicking, explosive and bullet riddled revenge. The trailer looks solid with lots of practical stunts, martial arts and a terrific cast. Magnolia releases the film on VOD in late April followed by a theatrical release Friday, May 8th. Horror flick Shark Lake just finished shooting, World War II men on a mission flick with Luke Goss and Mickey Rourke War Pigs is in post-production and a small role in action thriller 4GOT10 alongside Michael Pare, Johnny Messner and Danny Trejo recently wrapped.

If that still weren't enough, Dolph was interviewed for the upcoming The Art of Masters of the Universe coffee table book from Dark Horse hitting shelves on April 15th that will take a deep look at the phenomenon of cartoons, comic books, toys and the live action movie.

(Not) Love Actually: Red Sonja

Flipping through channels I came across Robert Rodriguez's ElRey Network showing Red Sonja. I hadn't seen the flick in a long time, like as a kid on TBS long so I tuned in. First off, ElRey is a pretty cool channel showing lots of kung-fu and exploitation movies along with original programs like The Director's Chair (more episodes please!) where Rodriguez sits down with Quentin Tarantino and John Carpenter among others to discuss their storied careers. This would be my first time watching a movie on ElRey and in a neat twist, they don't edit the movies as in there's a warning for graphic content to preserve the filmmakers original vision. So you get the uncut flick just with commercials.

Red Sonja takes place in the same fantasy universe as Arnold Schwarzenegger's Conan flicks as we meet Sonja (Brigette Nielsen) after her family has been killed and she's been raped for rejecting the sexual advances of Queen Gedren (Sandahl Bergman). After being bestowed with strength by a spirit/god/ghost thing Sonja goes and trains in sword fighting with some Asian dudes like in Conan then heads off on a quest of revenge. On her way she meets Lord Kalidor (Arnold), young Prince Tarn (Ernie Reyes, Jr.) and his servant Falkon (Paul L. Smith). Sword fighting, beheading, stabbing, mechanical underwater snake creature, eating, Tae Kwon Do, magical orb only Sonja can touch, beautiful landscapes, huge sets and Ennio Morricone score shenanigans ensues.

As you should know, Conan was the literary creation of Robert E. Howard who also gave us Kull and Solomon Kane. Sonja came from Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith based loosely on Red Sonya in Howard's short The Shadow of the Vulture. Dubbed the "She-Devil with a Sword", Red Sonja appeared in  Conan the Barbarian comic books in 1973 before headlining her own series. Conan the Barbarian film producer Dino De Laurentis had struck massive success with the 1982 film starring Arnold directed by John Milius. Less violent and sexual sequel Conan the Destroyer from Richard Fleischer was released in 1984. Both films grossed more than $100 million worldwide on budgets under $20 million.

Producer De Laurentis offered the title role to Conan the Barbarian co-star Sandahl Bergman who had played the viciously vivacious Valeria, Arnold's love interest and fellow sword fighting thief. Bergman turned down the role in favor of the evil Queen Gedren. With production nearing, De Laurentis saw 21 year old Danish model Brigitte Nielsen on the cover of a magazine and flew her to Italy to screen test. Standing in line with 25 other hopefuls, 6'1" Nielsen barely fit into her costume and immediately became returning Destroyer director Richard Fleischer's favorite. Schwarzenegger was under contract to De Laurentis and came on board for what he thought would be a glorified cameo as the sword swinging Lord Kalidor. Originally intended to be a reprisal of his Conan character, De Laurentis didn't pay Universal for name rights so Arnold is basically Conan but with fancier clothes (is that red vest and pants ensemble velvet?!). The $18 million dollar film with a script by George MacDonald Fraser and Clive Exton shot in Italy near Rome. A total newcomer to acting and movie making, Nielsen quickly fell for Arnold and the two embarked on an affair during shooting. Arnold shot his role in less than 4 weeks and was horrified to see his cameo had turned into a full on supporting role with his name listed first on the movie's poster and his image being larger than Red Sonja's.

Released on July 3rd of 1985, Red Sonja grossed an anemic $2.2 million dollars at # 9 behind Back to the Future, Pale Rider, Rambo II, The Goonies and Fletch among others on it's way to a $6.9 million total. A huge drop off from Barbarian's $38 million domestic take and Destroyer's $31 million total. Reviews were unsurprisingly harsh with Nielsen and Bergman each receiving Golden Raspberry Award nominations for worst acting. Arnold would soon fulfill and terminate his contract with De Laurentis while years later describing Sonja as his worst film, reserved for punishing his children if they misbehaved. The title would be brought up nearly 30 years later when Sabotage barely cracked $10 million at the box office, making it his worst showing since Sonja not adjusting for inflation. Star Nielsen would soon meet action icon Sylvester Stallone, a rumored "gift" from Arnold as the two men were still rivals at the time. Nielsen would marry Sly and appear in Rocky IV and then Cobra before landing a plum role in the 1987 hit Beverly Hills Cop II. The two divorced in 1987 and Nielsen's follow up film roles would never match her early output. In 2014 she appeared in Mercenaries, a low budget knock off of Stallone's The Expendables featuring female action figures like Zoe Bell, Kristanna Loken, Cynthia Rothrock and Vivica A Fox.

Young co-star Ernie Reyes, Jr. would go on to roles in film and television, notably in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II and Surf Ninjas while bodyguard Paul L. Smith had already been acting for 20 years and would continue to pop up in film and TV into the 90's before passing away in 2012. Dancer turned actress Sandahl Bergman would go on to appear in genre movies like Hell Comes to Frogtown and episodic TV into the 2000's. Red Sonja would be director Richard Fleischer's penultimate motion picture preceding another De Laurentis production, 1987's Million Dollar Mystery before retiring. Fleisher passed away in 2006. Talk of a Red Sonja remake percolated in the late 2000's with Robert Rodriguez looking to direct his then fiance Rose McGowan in a Nu Image/Millennium Films production but nerve damage in McGowan's right arm nixed the idea and she appeared in the flop 2011 Conan the Barbarian remake as a witch instead. Nu Image is still pushing forward with a film, allegedly with Con Air and Expendables 2's Simon West at the helm and Amber Heard at the top of the starring wish list.

While Red Sonja may have been a looked down upon disappointment upon release, all these years later the film still holds up as a prime entry in the sword, sorcery and fantasy genre that the wonderfully weird 80's gave us. Sure there's some bland and over the top delivery but production values are terrific from the ornate costumes, weaponry and huge castle and cave sets. Characters are all decently fleshed out and memorable with Sonja claiming she would never be with a man who could not best her in combat so cue to her fighting with Arnold to Falkon's penchant for food and Prince Tarn's precocious, bordering on annoying prince who can throw down . The fights are excellent with solid back and forth choreography, bettering the circle then slash approach of Conan the Destroyer. Ernie Reyes, Jr. gets to show off his impressive martial arts abilities, especially considering his age and the film moves quite quickly wasting no time at 90 minutes. It also lacks the jokey cheesiness of Destroyer with it's pretty straight ahead approach that somehow effortlessly mixes lesbianism, rape, revenge, romance, magic, swordplay and high adventure.

The Way We Weren't: Michael Biehn and The Expendables

Ah the Expendables, remember them?  After three films and nearly $800 million dollars at the world wide box office, talk of a 4th chapter has cooled after part 3's tepid response.  While just about every notable action hero from the 80's and 90's has appeared including Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Wesley Snipes, Harrison Ford, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris and Mel Gibson. By my estimation the only "era" icons missing were Steven Seagal, Jackie Chan and Kurt Russell.  Allegedly Seagal couldn't come to terms with series producer Avi Lerner, Jackie Chan wanted a substantial part alongside Stallone versus a cameo and Russell just wasn't interested in the throwback ensemble.  Of course many a name pops up when fans are asked who they'd like to see added to the cast with guys like Carl Weathers and Michael Biehn coming up frequently.

Weathers seemed like an obvious choice given his relationship with Stallone from the 4 Rocky films and his roles in 80's classics Predator alongside Arnold, Jesse Ventura and Sonny Landham as well as starring vehicle Action Jackson from Craig Baxley and Joel Silver.  While Stallone would drop plenty of wish list names from Ben Kingsley, Sandra Bullock, Clint Eastwood to...Ryan Seacrest? Weathers never came up.  Rumors of a rift between the two men dates back to 2006's Rocky Balboa regarding Weathers' ultimate non-involvement in the successful franchise chapter that saw archive footage of opponents Mr. T and Dolph Lundgren but not Weathers' seminal Apollo Creed.  Being around Stallone's age it would have been great to see Weathers come in as some kind of liaison or ally in a key scene and saddled with most of the dialog as we know he's got charisma and the acting chops.  Thus leaving the running, grunting and shooting to back up Expendables staples Dolph, Randy Couture and Terry Crews.

Biehn is known to action and genre fans thanks to his work in James Cameron's The Terminator and Aliens which saw him running around with a shotgun in hand before cementing his action chops with flicks like Navy Seals, Tombstone and The Rock.  In a 2011 interview, Stallone mulled over Michaels Biehn and Pare, citing them as guys who had their moment but fallen on hard times and deserved another shot.  Biehn quickly responded on Facebook stating he didn't need Stallone to revive his career as he had producer Ross Dinerstein.  At the time, there was no follow up on to what elicited Biehn's seemingly terse response and neither Biehn nor Pare ended up in The Expendables II.  Biehn has kept busy going into business with wife Jennifer Blanc as they've successfully produced a staggering 14 low budget genre films in the last 4 years.  Dinerstein has also kept prolific with his name on no less than a dozen films since working with Biehn on 2011's The Divide.  With Biehn being in his 50's, he could have easily opted for a "suit" role as some kind of government agent, evil businessman or been thrown a machine gun and gone to work.

Thanks to 2014's Emerald City Comicon, we can shed a little more light on what could have been a great addition to The Expendables franchise.  When asked about his possible involvement, Biehn responded with a flat "no".  First referring to Inferno, the making of The Expendables which follows the highs and lows of the action film that saw Stallone writing, directing and starring while also doing his own stunts, getting shingles, injuring his thumb, detaching a tendon in his shoulder and having his neck broken thus earning Biehn's respect forever.  But being financially stable and citing a lack of character development, Biehn saw no reason to take a role running and yelling while firing a gun as much of the ever growing cast had been relegated to doing.  Although The Biehn would love to meet Stallone, being away from his family (series has filmed in Brazil and Bulgaria) to make a few bucks for a lackluster part just wasn't that enticing. 

Monday Madness: Miami Connection

How the heck did I not know about Miami Connection?  The title drifted across my plate a couple of years ago, something about a martial arts rock band fighting ninjas with an 80's vibe.  But there's been a lot of throwback 80's in the last few years.  Movies like The Expendables, Hobo with a Shotgun and Manborg.  A Cannon films documentary.  Video game Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon with music score by Power Glove.  Blood Bros' playlists on Mad Decent.  All of those VHS style trailers.  Little did I know that Miami was a film actually made in the 80's, released and quickly forgotten about in 1987 and by some minor miracle was given a second chance!  Thanks to Turner Classic Movies Underground banner and a 2:00AM airing, now I know.  And knowing is half the battle...

The story begins with immigrant and Tae Kwon Do master Y.K. Kim, who landed in the United States from South Korea in 1978.  By the mid-80's he was kicking ass with a chain of successful martial arts schools, public speaking, authoring books and generally being liked by those around him for his positive outlook on life and charitable efforts around central Florida.  While on a television program in South Korea, action movie director Woo-sang Park figured he'd made a good cinematic hero and the two set off to create a flick that would encapsulate Kim's philosophy of friendship, loyalty and martial arts.  Against the advice of his closest friends, Kim sold his car, mortgaged his home and franchise to fund Miami Connection.  With no prior background in filmmaking or even an interest in it, the shoot quickly devolved into a nightmare.  There was no script, director Park spoke little English and the entire cast was more or less farmed from Kim's network of 10,000 students.  With that pedigree you'd expect a fun home movie but instead Kim hoped Miami would be a blockbuster film that showed the greatness of Tae Kwon Do to the world.  What he got was a near $1 million dollar catastrophe that almost crippled his life and sent him into bankruptcy.

Miami Connection is the story of Dragon Sound, a synth-rock band made up of Tae Kwon Do blackbelts.  They jam on guitars and do kicks on stage.  Meanwhile, some ninjas kill off some local drug dealers and the band Dragon Sound replaced wants their gig back, teaming up with the bad guys to snuff out the band.  Mark (Kim) and his bandmates are all orphans who live and train together.  Jim (Maurice Smith), has been trying to find his black-American dad for some time and finally has a lead.  Meanwhile John (Vincent Hirsch) is trying to get to know Jane (Kathy Collier) whose brother happens to be leader of the evil gang.  Martial arts brawling, shirtless mail reading, hardcore Tae Kwon Do demonstrations, catchy synth pop, bros pooling money for a suit, poor English and of course, ninja mayhem ensues.  Miami Connection should not be a good movie or a good time.  Story developments go nowhere, the acting is hammy, random montages and vignettes add nothing...But somehow, the sheer earnestness of the cast and ridiculous concept shines through the amateur production values.  We don't get shoddy sets or cheap tricks to pull off elaborate stunts.  The practical streets, woods, creeks and college campus locations all give Miami Connection a texture that rises above a Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee imitator or ironic love letter made today.

The fights in the flick are pretty solid in that 80's, awkward, kinda telegraphed, wait for it style. Given that the entire main cast are blackbelts, they get to show off their high kicking TKD skills and even fight with swords in a bloody final confrontation against the ninjas.  Kim is not exactly the world's most charismatic leading man but really he's just there to support his friends and kick ass, which he does just fine.  Two of his students turned co-stars, Angelo Janotti and Kathy Collier, were musicians in their own right and provided two memorable tracks; Friends and Against a Ninja.  Friends reminds you of Nowhere Fast from Streets of Fire a bit and has awesomely simple lyrics like "loyalty, honesty, we'll stick together through thick or thin" with it's hand clapping drum beat.  Against a Ninja starts with extreme guitar riffs and more hand clapping and lyrics about you know, ninjas being evil. 

At the end of production, Park departed for Korea and Kim set about trying to sell the movie for exhibition.  He estimates 100 companies turned him down, told him it was trash and that he shouldn't spend another cent.  That seems pretty hardcore considering some of the low budget turkeys Cannon was producing at the same time.  I guess those just had more famous and bankable actors.  Feeling like a failure, Kim took the film to Cannes to drum up interest but struck out once more.  One insider suggested several changes and Kim along with co-star/student Joseph Diamond read some books on writing screenplays and directing films to realize it needed things like a beginning, middle and end then reshot scenes.  One distributor finally ponied up $100,000 to release the film in 8 theaters around Orlando with Kim working overtime to promote the flick via store demonstrations and local media.  But a prominent local critic called Miami the worst film of the year before it's release and after 3 weeks, the movie was pulled and forgotten.  Kim rebuilt his empire, stronger than ever and continued to spread the gospel of personal, financial and emotional fitness.

Cut to 2009, Alamo Drafthouse programmer Zack Carlson came across a print of the film on eBay and bought it for $50 bucks.  After audiences responded well to the first reel, Carlson and his boss Evan Husney began their quest to redistribute the film.  Kim thought it was a joke and hung up on Husney several times before being informed that Miami Connection had all the makings of a cult classic a la the also forgotten Troll 2.  From there the film played in several film festivals and midnight screenings across the country to fevered reaction, several with Kim and cast in attendance, demonstrating moves and even playing Friends on stage.  Today you can get a special edition blu-ray, vinyl soundtrack, band shirts and much more.  That's the power of movies, baby.  And a nice spinning roundhouse kick.

2014 Cinema Round Up

Movies cost more to make and attend than ever.  Each of the six major studios crossed the billion dollar gross line but attendance slid to 1.2 billion admissions.  That's just above 1995 numbers.  3D upcharges, reboots, remakes, sequels, everything being based on something else, the so called rise of television, video games, no one will ever know what will please audiences.  Luckily I just like movies and saw dozens of them in the theater this year.  New ones, old ones, good ones, shitty ones, seeing a movie in the theater is still the best way to experience a film in my opinion as you have nothing to do but watch the movie.  Unless you're an asshole on a phone then I'm giving you to the count of 0.  Sometimes dealing with rude patrons is enough to make you not want to check out the cinema but being in Los Angeles where movies are such a key to the infrastructure, you tend to be able to get through most flicks without telling someone to go outside and seeing if their response is going to be compliance or getting into it.  I'm fine with either one.

In no order, some of the flicks I enjoyed this year:

Sabotage: "Look at you with your fucking 48% body fat!"
Arnold in a mature, raw, ridiculous action thriller.  David Ayer's street, bro-down style makes little sense but I loved it and told Sam Worthington so in person.

Snowpiercer: "I know what people taste like. I know that babies taste best." 
Crazy, sad, visual, violent, funny. Oh them Koreans and their post apocalyptic, 99% VS the 1% on a train tales. 

Frank: "Ginger crouton!"
Not so much a movie but more a sad/funny/weird experience about fitting in and mental health.  Michael Fassbender wearing a paper mache helmet for 95% of the running time shows you what kind of actor he is.

Guardians of the Galaxy and Captain America: The Winter Soldier: "It's real!"
Marvel again knocks it out of the park, giving audiences fun times without really challenging the genre and treating movies like television.

The Lego Movie: "Spaceship!"
One of the few kiddie movies I saw this year but uber cute, funny with a killer cast and interesting core message of everything being awesome.

Interstellar: "You don't believe we went to the moon?"
Something to be experienced and felt, in your heart from the emotions and your chest from the big ass sound system.  It's not a documentary so don't analyze it as such.  Otherwise I can punch holes in Guardians all day but since people had fun with it they don't think to nitpick it.

The Expendables 3: "I'll open up your meat shirt and show you your own heart."
Saw this thing 3 times in as many days.  Modern, sleek and entertaining it's less serious than I and not as weird goofy as II.  Gave up hope on a "good" Expendables movie after the first one and just went for the ride.  Wondering how it's failure will effect a potential fourth chapter.

Nightcrawler: "You're a lifetime too late!" and "Twerp."
One of the surprises of the year, funny, creepy and messed up Los Angeles movie about shock media and journalism.  Jake G is slowly turning me into a fan. Bill Paxton showing up always a plus.

Birdman: "I'm gonna crab up on your ass and choke you out!"
Beautiful, bizarre, Broadway.  Michael Keaton and Edward Norton are terrific.

Fury: "Best job I ever had."
David Ayer second appearance! Violent, brutal bromance of a World War II tank flick. Brad Pitt still has it.

The Almost Pacific Rim but Not Quite Award:  Edge of Tomorrow
Tom Cruise has yet to make a bad movie and this big sci-fi, time leaping, alien invasion romp is a lot of fun if a little repetitive.  Bill Paxton again.

Whoda Thunk: Let's Be Cops
Actually quite funny buddy action comedy with consistent laughs on a low budget and expectations.  Those New Girl guys are good together.

Surprised People Liked It So Much: John Wick
The moody, violent action flick was a nice run from Keanu Reeves but I honestly can't believe people liked the hitman flick as much as they let on. 

Almost Good But Not Quite: Robocop & Godzilla
Samuel L. Jackson opened and closed the Robo remake with gusto but in between it was pretty uneven and Joel Kinnaman ain't no Peter Weller, bro.  His faux Detroit tough guy turned lobotomized cyborg did nothing for me while Godzilla was hardly in his own movie and we're left with uninteresting human characters doing uninteresting things.  Godzilla was probably the biggest let down of the year.

Just Didn't Get It:
The Raid 2 - Amazing action yet mean spirited, overlong with a simple story that doesn't justify the running time.  Cut it down from 130 to 90 minutes and I'm sure there's a classic inside.
Gone Girl - A big budget Lifetime movie where serious adult actors utter "cool girl".
Lucy- Along with 3 Days to Kill shows that Luc Besson and company have an interesting method to crafting would be action movies but become a little too abstract while not sticking to their own made up rules.
Into the Woods - Beautiful yet boring, maybe if you like musicals.

Demolition Man Weekend

aka Demolition Man-ia!  No?  Ok...I've always loved Demolition Man, I saw it on video at some point, had the VHS, a tee shirt but randomly none of the toys.  It's just a slick, funny and well produced flick with great performances from star Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes as the villain and Sandra Bullock as the sweet and sassy sidekick.  The flick opens in a destroyed and on fire Los Angeles where Detective John "The Demolition Man" Spartan (Stallone) assaults the inner city compound of drug dealing maniac Simon Phoenix (Snipes) to find some kidnapped hostages.  Things go wrong, Phoenix frames Spartan for the death of the hostages and in this version of 1996, prisoners are cryogenically frozen and rehabilitated.  Cut to 40 years later where Los Angeles and San Diego have merged into a crime free utopia dubbed San Angeles run by the benevolent Dr. Cocteau (Nigel Hawthorne) after a massive earthquake gives society a fresh start.  But there's a pesky, underground movement headed by Edgar Friendly (Dennis Leary) stirring up trouble so Cocteau thaws out Simon Phoenix to get rid of the activist.  There hasn't been an unsanctioned death in 20 years and the wussy cops don't know how to handle 90's violence.  How do you catch a maniac?  You send a maniac!  Spartan is thawed out, reinstated and teamed up with Officer Lenina Huxley (Bullock) to help find Phoenix and the two reignite their epic battle to kill each other.

The world of Demolition Man's future is fully realized with technology, self-driving cars, laser disks, virtual sex, molecular future guns, rat burgers and high end Taco Bell.  Anything not good for you is illegal so no red meat, salt, sex, guns, cursing, etc.  You even get fined a credit for violation of the verbal morality code when you curse in public.  Instead of toilet paper, there's a little shelf with three seashells on it.  Stallone is hilarious here as the hardass cop/fish out of water, Snipes is also hysterical as the menacing and dangerous villain and Bullock is perfect as the naive 20th century loving action junkie.  A terrific supporting cast includes Lethal Weapon Captain and Richard Donner's cousin Steve Kahan, Rob Schneider, Benjamin Bratt, then comedian Leary, The Shawshank Redemption's Bob Gunton and Beetlejuice's Glenn Shadix.  Random cameos include Predator's Jesse Ventura, bodybuilding trainer Charles Glass and bit parts from an unknown Jack Black, MTV host Dan Cortese as well as Tatsu from Ninja Turtles himself, Toshishiro Obata. Of course it's an action movie so you get lots of shootouts (the two have the worst aim in the world), jumping from helicopters, cars and buildings exploding, hand to hand combat, car chases and the like. 

Directed by first timer Marco Brambilla from a script by Daniel Waters, Robert Reneau and Peter M. Lenkov, Demolition Man is extremely underrated as it's very clever, has some great quotable dialog (Schwarzenegger was President!) and of course, pulse pounding action.  I do recall the marketing being everywhere on MTV with Stallone, Snipes and Bullock on hand to demolish a Las Vegas casino and being handed Louisville Slugger baseball bats. Elaborate media promo packages were said to have contained bomber jackets, CD's with Sting's oddly chosen title track and a hard hat.  Taco Bell offered the Demo Deal. Reviews weren't kind for the Joel Silver produced spectacle but DM would gross a then record breaking $14.2 million in it's first weekend on it's way to a $58 million total and another $100 million worldwide.  That would be good enough for #18 on highest grossers for year behind Stallone's own Cliffhanger at #10.  His next film, the bomb expert, Miami set The Specialist would open in the same October weekend in 1994 and do near identical business.  A talented commercial director who landed the gig after impressive spots for Nike and Pepsi caught Silver's eye, Brambilla would only go on to direct the Benecio Del Toro/Alicia Silverstone kidnapping flick Excess Baggage in 1997 and episodes of 2002's Dinotopia.  Silver would hit and miss with horror titles and action flicks like Demon Knight and Executive Decision before the one-two success of Lethal Weapon 4 and The Matrix in the later 90's.  Snipes was riding a wave of action, drama and comedy in hits like New Jack City, White Men Can't Jump and Rising Sun.  Demolition Man put him into action mode where he had a huge hit as vampire slayer Blade and of course, reunited with Stallone for 2014's The Expendables III.  Bullock starred in Speed the next summer and has since become one of Hollywood's most bankable actors.

Over the years, Demolition Man has grown into a cult film with it's unique vision of the future and quirky sense of humor.  The three seashells seems to be the one of the most remembered aspects as it's never actually explained.  Years later Stallone said it was told to him that you were supposed to use two shells to wipe away and one to clean up while writer Waters only recently said the idea came to him from a friend who was going to the bathroom and had a jar of seashells on the counter.  Bullock has also humorously evaded the question and just shows you that some things are better left unexplained.  A commentary from Brambilla and Silver sticks mostly to technical issues while referring to the scope and tight schedule but Brambilla comments the film was well received and made money.  Behind the scenes stories ran rampant around Hollywood, though.  Before shooting began, several writers fought for credit and Monster Squad helmer Fred Dekker contributed a draft as well. Originally designed as a starring vehicle for Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme but the Belgian butt kicker objected to playing the villain.  While that would have been a great pairing, Stallone and Snipes are just too good in the film to imagine anybody else in the roles.  Stallone had flopped twice in comedies so a return to action but with humor was just what the doctor ordered.  Snipes turned down the film but producer Silver visited him on the set of Rising Sun and convinced the actor to join.

Originally set to be a 72 day shoot with a $45 million dollar budget, the production was quickly bogged down by Brambilla's feature film inexperience and the nature of a big budget action film containing concept cars, giant sets and huge action pieces.  Five Assistant Directors were hired and fired, Stallone missed nine days of shooting from a pinched nerve, original Lenina Huxley actress Lori Petty filmed one scene and was replaced, etc.  The shoot began in February then stretched into August as 72 days become 110 and the budget reportedly ended up in the near $60 million range.  Famed editor and clean up guy Stuart Baird cut the film through production to make it's 10.8.93 release.  Former military demolitions expert turned professional wrestler and actor Jesse Ventura was supposed to have a huge fight scene with Stallone but footage has never been released.

Watching it as a drinking game this weekend where the rules are simple, drink anytime you hear "John Spartan", "Simon Phoenix" or see/hear the Verbal Morality Violations and three seashells.  An hour in, you want to stop drinking because it's nearly nonstop. It's also fun to spot the locations around Los Angeles like the Design Center on Melrose, interior of the Los Angeles convention center downtown (which hadn't opened yet), the convention center in San Diego and what I thought was the Variety plaza by the Tar Pits on La Brea but is actually located in Irvine.  Must be the same architect.  Until next time, be well!

Dolph Day

I'm a little late but wanted to wish one Dolph Lundgren a happy birthday.  This past Monday, November 3rd marked the karate champion/chemical engineer/movie star/big Swede's 57th year of existence and the man is busier than ever.  2013 and into 2014 saw the release of no less than SIX starring vehicles, a fitness book, the production of passion project Skin Trade, a weirdfunny marketing campaign for an Australian mobile phone provider dubbed #YesDolph and of course, an appearance at The Egyptian Theatre as special guest of a Dammaged Goods Presents event where we screened Universal Soldier and Rocky IV. Up close and personal the man is tall, jacked and cool as shit. 

Looking around my den I realized I had accumulated four recent Dolph flicks that I'll be viewing soon to celebrate his birthday week.Films like Battle of the Damned, The Expendables 3, Legendary, Ambushed and Puncture Wounds had Dolph playing a zombie killing mercenary, a mercenary without a family or war, a bounty hunter, federal agent and a crime boss opposite Stallone, Jason Statham, Scott Adkins, Billy Zane, Cung Le, Robert Davi and many more while taking him to Malaysia, Bulgaria, France, China and Los Angeles, California.  Dolph spent the past summer in and out of Thailand where he wrote, produced and co-starred in human trafficking action thriller Skin Trade with Tony Jaa, Michael Jai White, Ron Perlman and Peter Weller.  The flick's first trailer showcases it's awesome cast and plenty of gunfight, fisticuff and vehicular mayhem.  It's had a few test screenings in Los Angeles and is up for grabs at the current American Film Market with a planned release in the spring of 2015.

Lundgren celebrated his birthday working on World War II pic War Pigs along with Luke Goss (Blade II) and Mickey Rourke as part of a rag tag unit sent behind enemy lines to kill Nazi's.  The Ryan Little directed picture is shooting in Utah.  After that Dolph reunites with Scott Adkins for action thriller Four Towers which sees him as a former war hero who takes a group of wealthy diners hostage at a centuries old castle to find stolen gold.  The Iron Man then switches gears for the seemingly would be horror flick Shark Lake where he and the local townsfolk take on fresh water sharks.

Van Dammage: Behind Closed Doors

"I'm tired, I want some rest. I've been doing, how many movies now? I don't even know. I never count them, I never look at them. Been around the world for 20, 30, 40 times...seeing same hotels, getting older with me. They change the wall papers of the room but my face get more cripple..."
     Jean-Claude Van Damme

Believe it or not, a few years ago I was out of work with no clue what was coming next as a random temp job lead to a decent opportunity at a huge corporation for nearly 4 years.  That came to an end and I found myself struggling to figure out next steps.  But for 8 wonderful weeks in 2011, every Tuesday I'd have at least one constant in my life, Jean-Claude Van Damme's reality show, Behind Closed Doors.  Produced for the United Kingdom's ITV4, BCD followed the Muscles From Brussels as he jetted around the world making movies, meeting fans, playing with his dogs and just trying to relax while partying into the wee morning hours, training for a kickboxing match and speaking from his big heart.  Now, U.S. cable network REELZ will be broadcasting the series starting in October, coincidentally the month Wham Bam Van Damme entered the world. 

The first episode finds JCVD visiting a quiet church in his hometown of Brussels, Belgium, discussing the drive that saw him drop out of high school, take up karate, ballet and weights, move to America, struggle and eventually become one of the world's most famous movie stars.  The glory days of his career a distant memory, Van Damme's brand recognition is still enough to keep him headlining movies for the Direct to Video market made in Eastern Europe.  His two kids, Kristopher and Bianca join their famous dad while saving stray dogs.  Van Damme travels to Russia to film a cameo in a 3D comedy based on Napoleon, parties early into the morning then returns to Belgium to see his mother, father and half dozen dogs he's rescued from around the world.  It's a very intimate look into the life of a very famous person known for his professional, self-made accomplishments and personal, self-destructive antics.  After so many years of charming audiences with a boyish innocence mixed with muscular, martial arts fueled mayhem, it might be a shock to casual fans to see the modern Van Damme so sensitive and prone to tears.  But for anyone who has followed the Belgian Bomber through his career, it's that surprising mix of heart and physicality that makes him just a little more interesting than Arnold or Sly.

During shooting of the show, we watch JCVD work on movies like Weapon, Dragon Eyes and Kung-Fu Panda 2 while trying to get healthy for a proposed kickboxing match with Thai Gold medalist boxer Somrak Khamsing.  Not discussed on the show is Van Damme's minor heart attack or complication.  The Muscles From Brussels looks a bit frail in some segments but a hilarious Christmas episode finds him in terrific shape as he puts his family and daughter's boyfriend through a holiday workout.  Van Damme regulars like writer/director Sheldon Lettich, longtime karate coach Claude Goetz along with Bloodsport and Double Impact co-star Bolo Yeung pop up in addition to recent co-stars Scott Adkins and Cung Le.  Action weirdos like me will spot fitness model and martial artist Julien Greaux along with 87Eleven fight choreographer Larnell Stovall training and auditioning daughter Bianca.

Showcasing his still worldwide appeal, Mr. Van Damme travels the globe, hitting up Vancouver, Hong Kong, Los Angeles, Paris, Russia, Dubai, Belgium and more filming cameos, commercials and meeting with local investor types looking to get into the Van Damme business.  During filming, Van Damme had received a request but not a script for Expendables 2 from Stallone and seemed determined to clean up his rock and roll lifestyle to get in shape for the fight to clean up his soul.  Cut to 3 years later, Expendables 2 has come and gone, heck, a third installment was just released in August.  One powerful scene shows Van Damme erupting in anger and sadness when he learns that the producers of the Bloodsport reboot don't want him involved.  That film probably isn't any closer to being produced than it was then. The fight with Khamsing never materialized and Van Damme has kept busy post EX2 with his first foray into comedy, Welcome to the Jungle and starred in well received commercials for Volvo, GoDaddy and Coors Light.  Another reality show, 360 World Tour, was teased but has yet to be broadcast.  Same goes for a years in the making workout video.  As for me?  I'm kicking ass and doing so well I almost can't live with myself.  Wade Garrett style.

Fall Flicks: The Equalizer

Poised to dominate this weekend's box office is the latest "one man versus the world" action/drama/revenge flick, The Equalizer.  13 years after Training Day, director Antoine Fuqua and star Denzel Washington reteam for what should be a profitable and franchise starting thriller.  Based on the 1984 television show that starred Edward Woodward as Robert McCall, a retired intelligence agent turned private detective who helps clients equalize the playing field, the film adaptation takes place in modern day Boston and finds McCall up against the Russian Mob.  Based on Richard Lindheim and Michael Sloan's 4 season hit, 16 Blocks and The Expendables 2 scribe Richard Wenk and director Fuqua craft a slow burning, stylized, entertaining and brutal thriller for adults. 

We meet Washington as McCall one early morning where he's out of bed before his alarm goes off, meticulously preparing for the day cleaning his shoes, making a healthy shake, etc.  We watch him go about his day and help his co-workers at the local hardware super store where colleagues try to guess what he did in his former professional life.  Unable to sleep at night, McCall frequents a 24 hour diner and befriends street walker Teri (Kick-Ass' Chloe Grace Moretz).  After a vicious beating from her pimp sends her to the hospital, McCall makes the fateful decision to try and buy Teri's freedom which leads to a bloody confrontation.  The Russian syndicate dispatches intelligent and dangerous fixer Teddy (effectively played by Marton Csokas, who reminds me of Kevin Spacey mashed with Russell Crowe) to find out what happened.  With a confrontation looming, we witness McCall display a particular set of skills picked up as a former operative of the CIA or some other shadowy government agency.

While we all expect these kinds of movies to become Tooken which in turn was a simpler, faster take on Washington's own revenge tale Man on Fire, The Equalizer takes it time to get to the action but it's not an all out explosion fest although there are some explosions and walking away from said explosions in slow motion.  The character building doesn't feel forced or boring and when shit starts to go down, you're in.  The film doesn't take an hour to build up to some crazy, non-stop climax or feel the need to flip a switch and go from drama to action movie to reward the audience for putting up with dialog scenes.  Denzel is his usual solid self, delivering quiet strength, intelligent support and "kill your ass dead" physicality when called upon.  I was slightly disappointed he didn't utter "My man" or "I'll guarantee ya that" but whatever.  The fight scenes are realistic, brief and impactful with mostly small scale stuff involving fists, knives, a few guns and power tools.  No overly choreographed fight scenes here which was kind of a bummer at the end as I was hoping McCall and Teddy would duke it out a little bit as we're shown how physically proficient they both are through the movie.  Denzel was looking a little paunchy here, I figured a character with his background would be a little leaner but hey, the dude's pushing 60.  Melissa Leo shows up for a hot minute as an ally and for an even briefer minute we get Bill Pullman from Independence Day and Lake Placid as her husband in some randomly awesome casting.

Fuqua again demonstrates that he is one of the best action directors working today.  Starting with 1998's The Replacement Killers into Training Day, Tears of the Sun, King Arthur, Shooter, Brooklyn's Finest and recent hit Olympus Has Fallen, Fuqua knows how to make a picture look good, fill it with a great cast and provide some shocking action and violence without going into overly cartoon territory.  It will be interesting to see what he and Washington come up with for The Magnificent Seven reboot.   The Equalizer is a pretty simple and straight forward flick but never feels too serious or ponderous and I'm all for a sequel.  It's an interesting progression and continuation of the one man army motif that we've seen played in various ways from Charles Bronson taking it to the criminals of New York in Death Wish, Stallone winning the Vietnam War with a machine gun in Rambo or Liam Neesons tearing through France looking for his daughter to Matt Damon's Jason Bourne racing and fighting his way to the truth.  The Equalizer is more enjoyable than last week's adult thriller with Neesons, A Walk Among the Tombstones and it's moody yet vibrant attitude strikes a better balance than the upcoming near over stylized and brooding Keanu Reeves "hitman on the rampage" flick John Wick (that one has a lot more action though).  Washington has one of the best track records in Hollywood with 14 films opening above $20 million in the last 14 years.  Some might take cracks at his choice of fare and similarity of characters but upon closer inspection you see that's he's challenged himself and entertained us with roles as a desperate father, football coach, crime lord, alcoholic pilot, law enforcement officer and many more over the last couple of decades.  He's just good at playing confident without needing to swagger.

(Still) Cinema Swole: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Remember that time I said Arnold was looking surprisingly swole at Cannes in May riding a tank to promote The Expendables 3?  Well the King of Kings has kept up his training regimen because he's looking more and more jacked.  Recent snaps show him traveling the world and hitting the weights at Muscle Beach in Venice, California as well as staving off jet lag in India by getting a pump.  At a car show of some sort, a beefy and vascular Arnie checked out sports cars with son Patrick and Taylor Lautner (?!), I'm guessing they're buddies from Grown Ups 2...With a short haircut and blondish locks, Arnold looked like Dutch 2.0, his character from 1987's Predator.  Although I feel like that character should probably be a bit of a crumpled, shell of his former self in the developing Shane Black driven sequel, after losing his entire unit and brothers in arms (literally and figuratively, Jesse Ventura, Sonny Landham and Carl Weathers all sport some strong pipes in arguably the most macho film of all time).

While Arnold's recent cinematic conquests Sabotage and EX3 have been met with disappointing and plain embarrassing results, the flicks were enjoyable and the former Governor is still busier than ever.  Whether it's finishing up shooting on the latest Terminator installment, traveling to Sacramento to catch up with Governor Jerry Brown and be on hand for his portrait unveiling, to his Symposium for State and Global Policy holding a Climate Change Summit to visiting Bakersfield to check out a fuel additive that reduces emissions, The Oak, like his trademark T-800 persona, just won't stop.

Summer Cinema: The Expendables 3

After the false fire alarm, a 30 minute delay and the theater's inability to start the 3rd film, my friends and I motored over to The Arclight in Hollywood to catch The Expendables 3.  On the way, two motorists got into some kind of road rage beef and were racing/cutting each other off.  Right next to me.  At one point, I passed one of the cars as they got caught behind a dump truck and hoped they wouldn't try to cut me off because then it would be bad news for both of them as giving the finger and brake checking is for bitches and bitches get stitches, you know?! Cause if we're gonna get into it, let's get into it!  Know what I mean?  Anyway, the theater was about half full for the 8:30PM show and I'm glad we saw it with an audience as having a theater entirely to yourself is cool, but it's also cool to see something with enthusiastic fans.

The Expendables 3 starts off with a rescue mission involving a helicopter, machine guns, an armored train, Wesley Snipes with crazy eyes and like parts I and II, some bad CGI.  Turns out that Snipes' character Doc was an original Expendable along with the faceless Hammer and Woodsman, that the team started with 5 and grew to 22 before Doc was captured after attempting a political assassination.  Now, free and teamed up with Barney Ross, Lee Christmas, Gunnar Jensen, Toll Road and Hale Caeser (Played by franchise staples Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture and Terry Crews) they're off to stop an arms dealer from purchasing some big ass bombs.  Said arms dealer is revealed to be Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson), also a former Expendable who went dark and thought killed by Ross.  After Stonebanks shoots one of the team to torment Ross, Barney thinks it's time for the team to go on with their lives before someone punches their ticket.  With the help of crusty mercenary recruiter Bonaparte (Kelsey Grammer), he then slaps together a new, young and hungry team for a suicide mission to capture Stonebanks for the C.I.A. but instead of Bruce Willis' Church from I & II we're introduced to Max Drummer (Harrison Ford).  Things go bad on the operation and of course, the old Expendables bail out their buddy Barney and take on Mad Mel's army.

From the opening minutes, Expendables 3 looks brighter and sleeker than the first two installments.  Unlike 2, the picture is crisp and shiny, giving it a modern feel and in general the costumes, visual design, sets, locations and shooting style make for a slick and mostly handsome production.  Of course there's some bad CGI as usual with helicopters, planes and explosions looking REAL fake on the big screen.  Director Patrick Hughes and writers Stallone, Creighton Rothenberger and Katrin Benedikt (that's a very Hollywood sounding name, isn't it?) attempt to pull things in a darker direction with Barney burning internally to get back at Stonebanks, even at the cost of his own life.  There's lots of quiet close ups for pontificating and moving shots that highlight the vast locations like a Somali port, metropolitan high rises, a grand forest and the rubble filled remains of a European hotel.  Acting wise, new addition Mel Gibson is terrific as the conscienceless art buying, arms dealing Conrad Stonebanks and his van scene opposite Stallone is one of the greatest of any of the 3 films.  He makes it look so effortless and it really shows the difference between an action star and an actor.  Bruce Willis replacement Harrison Ford gets to drop some boring exposition as C.I.A. guy before getting funny towards the end while looking all of his 70 some years.  Antonio Banderas as fast talking Galgo is also a highlight, stealing every scene he is in with excited but not annoying chatter that covers up a bit of sorrow.  Wesley Snipes looks lean and mean but delivers some of his dialogue with hammy, Boogeyman relish.  New kids on the block Kellan Lutz, Rhonda Rousey, Glen Powell and Victor Ortiz don't get much to do but handle their roles just fine.

On the action front, the PG-13 rating does negate some of the brutal impact displayed in the first two flicks so it will be interesting to see the R rated cut with bullet hits, throat slashing and all that good stuff.  For the most part it's a guns and grenades affair with some fast, spin move filled fisticuffs from Stallone, Rousey, Statham and Mel Gibson's stunt double.  But the truck chases, boat crashing, night club brawls, shootouts, collapsing rooftop, tank barrage, motorcycle jumping and helicopter chases all add up to an exciting time.  I enjoyed the flick as it's not as serious as the first or as jokey as the second.  There's still plenty of "what the crap" moments like Arnold squeezing in several of his famous lines and the random use of certain characters (Jet Li, cough, Jet Li).  But in the end the 3rd installment feels very modern and stylish in it's execution.  While Brian Tyler score seems to be mostly recycled from the first two films, instead of using 70's rock tunes, the film is filled with modern tracks.

Unfortunately, The Expendables 3 hit theaters on a wave of critical drubbing, PG-13 backlash and  millions of illegal downloads.  It opened up with a not fantastic $16 million, limping into 4th place after parts I & II opened up # 1 with $34 and $28 million.  The flick did earn an A- Cinemascore which means audiences are enjoying the film.  Mine was great as we applauded each introduction, one liner, big explosion, etc.  After pumping up the international release with appearances in Cannes, United Kingdom, Spain and Germany, global takes are down 45% in some territories so this may indeed be The Expendables' last ride.  Chalk it up to a crowded market, franchise fatigue (3rd movie in 5 years) and not really bringing anything new to the table, The Expendables is a victim of it's own surprise success as they haven't messed much with the formula, keep cramming in more faces and haven't taken much risk.  It's kind of like watching episodes of G.I. Joe, the good guys fight the bad guys, the good guys never die and we get new characters along the way.  Only instead of selling toys, we're selling legacies.