Chief Goods: Dark Side of the Room aka Wheat is Murder

"It is called In the Heat of the Moment, is it great? Of course it is. What does it mean?

It don't mean anything.  Will you love it?  Yes, you will."

- Noel Gallagher on his latest single

Exciting news for all Brothers Gallagher and OASIS fans today as The Chief, singer/songwriter Noel Gallagher, announced a new single, album and world tour coming soon via Facebook.  Following up 2011's well received Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds will be Chasing Yesterday, out March 2nd of 2015.  March?  That's 5 months from now!  New single In the Heat of the Moment drops on November 16th and I'm sure another single or two will follow.  UK, Ireland and European concert dates have already been set for March while North America and Japan will follow.  Heat is online now and it's fucking excellent, very easy to listen to, very Noel, very upbeat, forward charging, moody and will probably be fucking beautiful played live.  I hit repeat at least a half dozen times because the track just isn't long enough. 

Gallagher partook in a fan Q&A where the very first question was in regards to an OASIS reunion with perennially angry at the world yet hilarious and brilliant brother Liam, who is currently fronting Beady Eye.  Noel showed no interest in getting the UK's most popular band from the 90's back together.  The Chief went on to explain that after coming off tour on the first High Flying Birds album, he was bored at home and started tinkering on a new album.  The sessions finished early, right after the World Cup.  While Heat is a pretty digestible track, psychedelic, "space jazz" and think Pink Floyd were used to describe some other songs on the new album.  Lock All the Doors, has taken Gallagher 23 years to complete.

After OASIS imploded at a French concert in 2009, brother Liam took the remaining band members and immediately formed Beady Eye.  Their first album, 2011's Different Gear, Still Speeding was a stripped down, hard charging (in typical Liam fashion) pop-rock album with pianos and back up singers adding a 50's motif that was a bit strange at first but I really dug it when I laid down on the floor and listened to the album in it's entirety as one should when digesting new music.  Reviews were mixed although NME did nominate them for Best New Band and the album debuted in the Top 10 of half a dozen countries, moving 170,000 copies in the UK total.  Four Letter Word, Bring the Light, For Anyone and Standing on the Edge of the Noise were all solid efforts that utilized Liam's sneering delivery and rock n' roll sensibility.  Vowing not to play OASIS tracks live, concerts were a subdued affair as decades long fans no longer knew the lyrics to be able to sing along.  2013's follow up BE rode a nice wave of hype as Liam and the boys wanted to make something completely different, feeling that the masses rejected Different Gear's vibe.  Instead of giving us more fast tempo rock and roll snippets, we got a meandering, plodding, goes nowhere album I honestly had trouble listening to or caring about.  By now, Liam let a couple OASIS tracks sneak into the set list but sales were weaker than Different Gear.

Also released in 2011 was Noel's solo album, simply dubbed Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds that played like a light OASIS album since he was responsible for writing most of their arena anthem classics.  Reviews were good and the album was certified Platinum in the UK, selling over 700,000 copies and landing on several year end best of lists as well as nominations from the Brit Awards, NME and Q.  If I Had a Gun has become one of my favorite songs in recent memory while AKA...What a Life, Dream On, AKA...Broken Arrow are all fine, light rock tunes and makes for a great car ride album.

(Not) Love Actually: Trial of the Incredible Hulk

At this weekend's New York Comic Con, the cast and creators of new Netflix series Daredevil swung by, dropping tidbits, screening footage and showcasing a few stills.  The Man Without Fear is shown to be clad in all black on a rooftop which is straight from some Frank Miller - John Romita, Jr. version of the comic so fans seemed happy enough.  When I saw said photo, I did a double take and thought it was a high-res capture from 1989's TV movie, The Trial of the Incredible Hulk.  Basically, it's a guy covered in all black with a bandana over his eyes with no eye slits.  Or, as one comic loving friend put it, a ninja with a mouth.

If you'll recall, Marvel's record with live action outings have only recently been successful.  In the 70's and 80's you had less than well received takes on Spider-Man, Captain America and Doctor Strange.  The one that stuck was CBS' adult take on The Incredible Hulk in 1977.  Bill Bixby played David Banner, instead of Bruce, rumored to be too homosexual a name at the time or that producer Kenneth Johnson didn't like double alliteration names that Marvel was so known for (Reed Richards, Matt Murdock, Peter Parker, etc.).  I wonder how double B Bixby felt about that...After exposing himself to gamma radiation, Banner transforms into the huge, muscular and green giant known as The Hulk, played by bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno.  The show follows his nomadic adventures trying to control the beast and rid himself of it.  With 2 Hulk Outs per episode, the rest of the runtime would be filled with Banner's arriving in a new town, seeking work, somehow getting caught up in local trouble then Hulking out to bust some heads or random property.  An intrepid news reporter begins to chase him from town to town.  The show was a hit and ran for 5 seasons but ended with a cliffhanger in 1982.

By the late 80's, Marvel was owned by Roger Corman's New World Productions and along with the young, visionary NBC executive Brandon Tartikoff, set out to bring the Hulk and some friends from the Marvel Universe back into the public consciousness.  Tartikoff is credited with turning then low-rated NBC into a powerhouse with hit shows like Miami Vice, The A-Team, Knight Rider, Alf, Saved By the Bell and The Cosby Show changing the medium and attracting millions of viewers.  A television movie, The Return of the Incredible Hulk aired in 1988 to solid ratings and introduced Asgardian god of Thunder, Thor.  Thor is kind of a loud mouthed douche bag in the flick who likes to drink beer, fight and call Hulk "troll" a lot while hefting a prop hammer that looks surprisingly not hefty.  Further adventures of Thor starring Eric Allan Kramer were not commissioned as the telefilm is extremely clunky with lots of slow motion, over the top performances and unexplainable poor story logic.

Next up was 1989's The Trial of the Incredible Hulk where Banner is working construction somewhere cold but then heads to the big city after not wanting to Hulk out on one of the asshole crew members.  Vancouver stands in for the I believe nameless city which is rash with street and high level crime as well as a vigilante known as Daredevil making things interesting.  After a brazen daytime jewelry store heist planned by crime Kingpin Wilson Fisk, two thieves hit the subway where one of them hits on a chick with big hair.  When Banner tries to intervene, he's tossed aside and gets P-I-S-T, unleashing da Hulk and tearing through the tin can.  Lou Ferrigno looks yoked as ever clad in green paint, a big wig, fake nose and green slippers.  Waking up in human form, Banner is tossed in jail where blind lawyer Matt Murdock visits him.  Turns out the big haired lady has been threatened by Fisk's thugs and claims Banner was the one who assaulted her.  Murdock has a unique gift and knows when someone is lying to him and wants to help Banner.  That gift?  Why, super radar sense from losing his sight as a boy saving an old man from a runaway truck.  A steel drum full of radioactive waste hits young Matt and takes his sight but amplifies his hearing, scent and touch to the point he can listen to your hearbeat and read normal print with his fingertips, even with gloves on!  His backstory from the TV movie comes straight from the comic books, former boxer for a father who gets killed by gangsters and all.

It's said that Trial was to serve as a backdoor pilot for a Daredevil series.  If you watch closely, you can see groundwork laid out with an interesting hero protagonist who could deal with people at city hall by day and thugs in alleys by night.  There's a supporting cast; funny, fresh from the Army office assistant Al (Richard Cummings, Jr.) filling in for the comics' Foggy Nelson, Murdock's partner in law and would be love interest Christa (Nancy Everhard, who would co-star in New World's big screen adaptation The Punisher w/Dolph Lundgren the same year).  There's sleazy street informant Turk (Mark Acheson) and the tough yet honest cop with a great voice and hard hitting delivery Tendeli (Joseph Mascolo) who inspires Murdock to become a "Daredevil" that can fight the corruption and not be killed off, paid off or scared off.  Then you had a recurring villain in the sleek, suit clad and operatic Wilson Fisk (Indiana Jones' & Lord of the Rings' John Rhys-Davies).  Former 70's teen idol/singer Rex Smith plays Murdock with handsome dignity and Daredevil with action posing, overcooked hero delivery.  With Banner's knowledge of radiation mishaps, there's an instant bond with Murdock and the two are like Radioactive bros, preceding Banner and Tony Stark's science bromance from The Avengers.

While there's a lot of poke fun at or laugh about, for some reason, from the opening somber piano theme, Bixby's grounded, honest portrayal of David and even tempered directing, I just get into it.  Back in those days, this was before Tim Burton's Batman became a global phenomenon, costumed superheroes were not easy to pull off so giving DD an all black leotard outfit was a lot more understandable than giving him a red outfit with horns.  Said outfit is like a gymnasts singlet with wetsuit-ish turtle necked shirt and a tight, domed hood with a sleeping mask looking thing covering the eyes.  There's some gloves, elbow and knee pads, a belt and big boots to give some texture while the trademark billy club is in effect complete with a few gadgets like a zipline attachment and plunger firing wire thing.  The fight scenes are pretty TV movie with lots of slow motion and awkward pause filled karate moves and exhales along with more than a few unconvincing hits.  Lance Rubin's synth score is seemingly generic yet appropriate and effective.  The ending features some really bad visual effects (this is the late 80's, on TV no less) as Fisk escapes his skyscraper in a helicopter/hovercraft!  All in, I dig it, the actors take the material seriously, there's no winking or camp factor and that lends the semblance of drama.  They just could have used a bigger budget I'm sure but it's still fun to see The Hulk and Daredevil in the same 90 minutes a decade before the first X-Men movie and 20 years before superhero team up The Avengers.

After the surprise success of Return, New World was set to produce two additional features for NBC and bring Daredevil, She-Hulk and Iron Man to the small screen.  While Return was the 4th highest rated program of the week, Trial did not lead to a Daredevil series and we never got to see low budget versions of Iron Man or She-Hulk.  New World did attempt to produce a She-Hulk theatrical film from writer/director Larry Cohen that would have starred Brigitte Nielsen but it never happened either.

Grudgement Day: Con-Man

I'm trying to think what my first Comic Convention experience was, I believe it was a small show in my hometown at a local hotel meeting room or Elks Lodge.  I must have been in middle school because my dad took me and patiently accompanied me as I checked out the tables full of back issues.  There were a few artists set up for meeting fans but I didn't know who the heck they were yet.  I picked up a short stack of comics and happily went on my way.  The regular flea market and toy shows at the Fair Grounds always had comics for sale but they weren't the main focus.  The Mid-Ohio Con in Easton was a decent sized show at the Hilton, I hear they moved to a bigger venue then were acquired by Wizard World in 2010.  A little history shows that Mid-Ohio Con used to be held in my hometown in the early 80's complete with guests like John Bryne, Frank Miller, Stan Lee and Kevin Eastman!  In 2004, my friends and I attended our first major show, Wizard World Chicago.  Mind you, this was when Wizard was still a magazine and not some company that randomly ran conventions and held stake in a now defunct MMA league.  My buddies and I drove from Ohio to Chi-Town, riding the train, eating pizza and breaking door frames in our hotel with a chin up bar (yup, I was working out on any schedule in any situation even back then).

Wizard World Chicago was a lot of fun.  The floor seemed pretty big and I picked up all kinds of good swag like a Jack Kirby Captain America trash can, lots of comics, probably a bust or two and then we saw him, mother fucking Rob Liefeld had a table and was doing sketches.  I don't recall programming being much in those days at WWC so we plopped down in Liefeld's line to get an original piece of art.  Well, we learned the hard way that a guy can only sketch so many sketches in an hour and we were way back in line.  We ended up getting some comics signed and chit chatting with the former Marvel superstar artist and creator of X-Force turned co-founder of Image Comics.  Since we weren't coming back the next day, Liefeld told us to e-mail him and he'd send us something.  10 years later and I'm still waiting.  Plus he was a dick on Twitter and friends with a negative neckbeard movie "critic" so my days of supporting him are long gone.  Unlike Jim Lee who is just the coolest, most random guy you could ask for in the industry.  He brought Mrs. Fields cookies to the audience one time, changes up his panel focus every time and generally loves to spread the gospel of comic books.

Today, Wizard Magazine is no more but Wizard World Conventions are EVERYWHERE.  Literally.  There are 25 shows across the country with a focus on celebrity signings, cast reunions and of course, comic book writers and artists.  It's where Pop Culture comes to life says their website and what gets the most real estate on said site?  The revolving list of celebrities you can pay to meet.  A guy from the Harry Potter movies, someone from a 90's TV show, a Star Trek cast member or 7, etc.  There's Admission then there's VIP Admission so you can bypass lines, hobnob with guests and get the best seating at panels for an upcharge.  What's wrong with all of that?  Technically nothing, more comic conventions are a good thing.  I travel to 8-10 shows a year but haven't been to a Wizard World since Chicago.  These are no longer comic book conventions, they're pop culture conventions.  Having attended shows big and small, happy and sad, I consider shows like Wizard World and Salt Lake City new-age types with their focus on celebrities to bring casual fans in then include comics, artist alleys and special events.  It's a nice mix for the most part as you can go see one of your favorite actors at a spotlight panel then look around the floor for comics and swag.  Artist Alley is always fun and I've met a couple of cool peeps who get to make a living doing what they love.  Most of the time they're selling personal takes on beloved genre movies and TV titles rather than hocking their own comic book or creations though.

So what's the point of all of this?  I dunno, I just feel like all this prodding of fans for more and more dinero is not good for the convention scene and why Comic-Con International's San Diego and Wonder Con remain by far the greatest example of a show.  Why?  Because they're a celebration of the popular arts.  They produce 3 solid shows a year and aren't trying to take over the world. They're non-profits but provide the absolute best experience one could ask for, as long as you're ready for the crowds and lines.  Once inside, your ticket grants you access to every event and can keep you busy from 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM if you've got the energy.  No Paid Events, no Additional Ticket required, none of that.  Wizard World and SLCC are businesses out to make money and are now using their size to pummel fans and competition alike.  For example, fan clubs used to get free tables at WW shows to boost awareness and raise money for charity but now they have to shell out hundreds of dollars just to get a space.  Kind of tough when you're not there to sell merchandise.  Then there's the cases of Wizard World moving into new territory in what seems like a bid to dominate the local scene, which they deny.  Take for example Minneapolis, Minnesota where Wizard World scheduled their show two weeks before long running local non-profit SpringCon after failing to acquire the brand.  However, SpringCon claims the beef gave them a boost in public profile, similar to what Salt Lake received when San Diego sued them.

But doesn't the abundance of shows give more awareness to the peeps over in Artist Alley?  Yes, I'm not saying WW is evil or should hold less shows, I just wish we got more variety.  I fear we're getting into cookie cutter conventions here so one show will be like any other just in a different town.  The same celebs tour the country at these shows, selling the same things, telling the same stories.  More crowds for celebs means more foot traffic for Artists but when you're making the lions share of profits from selling prints, magnets and stickers based on someone else's ideas, I figure you might get tired of it, like a talented band who can only book gigs doing covers of well known groups because no one will pay them to play their own material.  Whereas Comic-Con boasts over 1,000 panels with 100's of guests/speakers from fans to professionals covering just about every topic known to man like writing, drawing, painting, collaborating, social themes, legal advice and how-to, Wizard Shows maybe eek out a few dozen panels, most of them spotlights on well known celebs or artists. 

Oh well, maybe this new abundance of shows will help ease the crowds in San Diego.  With an attendance cap and Hollywood interest waning, it'll be nice for us die-hards if there's a few less people cramming the aisles.  I'd like to see specific subject shows grow like the He-Man/She-Ra Power-Con (which couldn't make it in New York), Bot-Con, G.I. Joe Con, Austin's Mondo Con and am looking forward to Los Angeles' latest, Comic Arts Los Angeles, a free event to promote the world of comic books, graphic novels and the creators behind them.

Straight Netflix'ing: Wings

What constitutes Netflix'ing?  Anything more than 2 episodes?  What if they're only 22 minute programs versus 42 minute ones?  Anyways, I don't tend to binge watch much (there was that week with Arrow) but I do steadily chip away at certain shows like Knight Rider, The Rockford Files, assorted anime and in surprising depth, Wings!  I had no idea I was into season 5 of the former NBC mainstay but hey, I've had Netflix for a couple years now and tend to turn the show on for background noise every now and again.  The story of Joe and Brian Hackett, bros who grew up in Nantucket, had a crazy dad, an absent mom and then ended up running a charter airline in a tiny New England island airport.  Their day to day struggles running the airline, competing with neighbor Aeromass and dealing with kooky friends and passengers gave life to 8 hilarious seasons of sitcom goodness.

From the guys that brought you Cheers and later Frasier, David Lee and Peter Casey's situational show was a regular fixture in my after school on USA Network watching in the 90's and it still makes me laugh today.  You had Joe (Tim Daly) the responsible bro and his crazy and womanizing brother Brian (Steven Weber) always screwing things up along with their multiple time widowed ticket taker Fay (Rebecca Schull), sleazebag yet successful rival Roy Biggins (David Schramm), lunch counter owner and would be love interest Helen Chapel (Crystal Bernard), dumb yet brilliant mechanic Lowell Mather (Thomas Haden Church) and cab driver from Italy Antonio Scarpacci (Tony Shalhoub).  It wasn't about irony or mugging to the camera and saying "really?", it was just the sitcom crazy lives of these offbeat characters.  Sometimes things got a little dramatic (house they grew up in getting demolished, plane crashes and strands them at sea, Joe has a meltdown) but for the most part the not too offensive humor derived from the everyday goings on of dealing with family and friends, running a business and the pratfalls of broken dreams (Joe wanted to fly jets, Helen is a trained orchestra cellist, etc).  

It's always fun to watch old shows and see if you spot anybody who went on to something more substantial.  Off the top of my head I recall Matthew Fox playing a high school baseball prodigy, the kid from Entourage, E aka Kevin Connolly as a high school reporter, John Hawkes from Deadwood as a waiter and of course a few familiar faces from Cheers like Kelsey Grammer's Fraiser along with George Wendt, John Ratzenberger and Kirstie Alley. 

Airing Thursdays in 1990 on NBC, Wings would be shuffled around the prime time schedule multiple times over it's 8 year run, moving to Fridays, Thursdays again, Tuesdays and finally Wednesdays for the last seasons.  At it's peak, the show was a top 30 staple for 4 seasons, tying with powerhouses like Fox's The Simpsons and ABC's NYPD Blue.  A handful of Emmy Nominations followed though none for the main cast or the show itself.  After the last season aired in 1997, star Tim Daly would remain a familiar face on shows like The Sopranos, a new take on The Fugitive and a near 100 episode run on Private Practice while providing the voice for Superman in several series and animated films.  Television brother Steven Weber popped up in lots of indie flicks, including Leaving Las Vegas and has guest starred on at least a dozen shows you've watched before like The Simpsons, Tales From the Crypt, Law & Order and Without a Trace.  Crystal Bernard has released a couple of albums and written for Paula Abdul and Lisa Stansfield.  David Schramm more or less got out of the Film & TV business but continues to act on stage and Broadway.  Rebecca Schull is currently appearing on ABC Family's Chasing Life while Thomas Haden Church left Wings to appear on a Fox's Ned & Stacey and has kept up a surprisingly solid output in TV and Film with Tombstone, Sideways, Spider-Man 3 and Broken Trail to his credit.  Tony Shalhoub starred on the long running Monk and appears in 2013's greatest film, Pain & Gain!

In 2013, after the massively successful Kickstarter for the Veronica Mars movie, Daly, Weber, Schull, Shalhoub and later cast addition Amy Yasbeck appeared in a Funny or Die skit looking to fund The Wings Serenity Movie Project.  Oh how times have changed when people actually watched shows when they were on...

Bronson of the Day: Hard Times

Charles Bronson is one of my favorite on screen personalities but honestly, I don't think he starred in that many great films.  Sure his ensemble work in The Magnificent Seven, Battle of the Bulge, The Great Escape, The Dirty Dozen and Once Upon a Time in the West make each of those films more interesting but in terms of leading man vehicles, I'm hard pressed to rewatch many as they became "Charles Bronson" movies instead of just, movies.  One of my favorites, probably my all time favorite Bronson flick is 1975's Hard Times.  It's just one of those movies I can pop in anytime and still get caught up in.  A few years ago I even got to see it on the big screen with some of the surviving cast attending at The New Beverly. 

Hard Times is the story of a mysterious drifter and street fighter named Chaney (Bronson).  We don't know where he came from and never learn anything about his past.  Rolling into the Depression era streets of Louisiana, Chaney teams up with big boasting hustler and fight organizer Speed (Mag 7 & Great Escape co-star James Coburn) as they set out to make some money.  Chaney's scrapping skills attract the attention of the local shady businessmen and he's forced into a final fight with their hired hitter all the way from Chicago.  Bare knuckle brawling, oyster eating, high stakes gambling, yoked 52 year old Bronson, fox grinning James Coburn, southern man Strother Martin, fish smelling awesomeness ensues.  Chaney picks up a lady friend, Lucy, played by real life spouse Jill Ireland in arguably her greatest performance opposite her husband.  Way better than last Bronson of the Day title Cold Sweat where she overacted being high and screamed a lot.  She peppers him with questions that he somehow never really answers.  Chaney's not looking to bother anyone and doesn't look past the next bend in the road. 

Walter Hill directs a revised script from Bryan Gindoff and Bruce Henstell.  Hill is one of my favorite writer/directors with flicks like The Warriors and Streets of Fire also being examples of exciting, weird flicks set in their own worlds like Hard Times.  The flick is sparse, you could say not a ton happens but it's still somehow extremely engrossing.  The script was the same way, there's a great description of a bar being thick with smoke and losers.  Using the country vistas and industrial landscape of New Orleans (factories, warehouses, docks), Hill creates a downtrodden world without making it mean or empty as he would later do with movies like Johnny Handsome or most recent Bullet to the Head.  A mustache-less Charles Bronson is terrific as Chaney in a performance that blends world weariness and tired eyes mixed with rough and tumble fight scenes where he shows off his muscular, vascular and trim physique in effective cinematic bouts of fisticuffs that are raw, awkward and exciting versus cleanly or overly choreographed.  James Coburn gets to do a lot of the talking as fast and big mouthed Speed with his great big grin, never losing his confidence as the perennial loser.  Strother Martin is great as the strange yet endearing opium addict cut man Poe who still dresses in fine duds and recites poetry.  Barry De Vorzon provides a Cajun-folk infused score that fits the films easy going pace and would later give Hill's The Warriors a memorable, forward charging synth soundtrack.

Reportedly costing $2.7 million clams, Hard Times would be one of Bronson's first American star vehicles post 1974's mega hit, Death Wish, which was a top earner of the year bringing in $22 million.  Hard Times would turn a profit collecting $5 million with Walter Hill receiving participation checks to this day.  Hill and Bronson never worked together again after the actor didn't appreciate the cutting of several of Ireland's scenes.  Hill would remark that Bronson ran very hot and cold in the years after, on some occasions being warm and friendly and others not even acknowledging Hill's presence.  James Coburn was said to have been difficult to work with on the set, maybe feeling disgruntled after co-starring with Bronson on earlier fare, coming into his own as a leading man in films like Our Man Flint, Duck, You Sucker and The President's Analyst but was now second banana to the international action star.  Hill would go on to become a force in the industry during the 80's and 90's, producing the Alien series and directing genre and box office hits like The Warriors and 48 Hours.  Bronson would change genres and eras for follow up western-mystery Breakheart Pass, based on an Alistair MacLean novel while Coburn went on to star in a crazy sounding action flick about rescuing a kidnapped family from a mountain top terrorist lair using hang gliders in Sky Riders.  I need to find me a copy of that!

Hey Arnold: October Remember

"I was always dreaming about very powerful people, dictators and things like that. I was just always impressed by people who could be remembered for hundreds of years, or even, like Jesus, be for thousands of years remembered."

     - Arnold Schwarzenegger

It's a Dammaged Goods kind of month with plenty of awesomely 80's inspiration going on in the forms of Jean-Claude Van Damme's Birthday, Carl Weathers night and Arnold, Arnold, everywhere!  Just yesterday, The Oak headed to Columbus, Ohio for the rededication of a bronze statue featuring his bodybuilding likeness.  Originally unveiled in 2012, sculptor Ralph Crawford's 8 foot, 600 pound ode to the inspirational Arnold has been moved front and center outside the Convention Center where Arnold and promoter Jim Lorimer have held the annual Arnold Expo and Bodybuilding Classic since 1989.  Arnold also owns a piece of nearby shopping center Easton I believe which used to house a Planet Hollywood.  The event hosts bodybuilding and fitness competitions along with gymnastics, cheerleading, dance, fencing, table tennis, yoga, martial arts, strongman, archery and more.  1000's of athletes descend on Columbus in late February/early March while the events bring in over 150,000 spectators.  I've attended several years and it's always fun to walk around the floor checking out the exhibitors, guests and events.  Back in the day you got A LOT of free samples of protein, energy drinks, fat burners and the like but now that they got ya, companies don't need to hand out as many goodies since crowds will show up with or without the freebies.  Kind of like Comic-Con...

Next week on Wednesday, 10.15, I'll be seeing Arnie in the flesh when he along with writer/director James Cameron and producer Gale Ann Hurd attend a 30th anniversary screening of The Terminator at The Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood.  Humans From Earth hosts the shindig that sold out in mere minutes.  Originally released on October 26th in 1984, the $6.4 million guerilla style, B-movie, Tech-Noir masterpiece went on to gross a respectable $38 million smackers and firmly established Cameron, Hurd and Arnold as filmmaking institutions.  Arguably the real stars of the flick, the human prey and her protector, Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese, played by Linda Hamilton and MICHAEL BIEHN would also flourish from their connection with Cameron.  Hamilton starred in groundbreaking sequel T2: Judgment Day 7 years later before marrying the brilliant but workaholic Cameron and divorcing in 1999.  Biehn would go on appear in Cameron's 1986 Aliens, replacing James Remar over a weekend and then 1989's The Abyss.  A one day cameo in T2 would be the last official pairing but the two nearly collaborated again on 1996's Titanic and 2008's Avatar.  Biehn would work with Hurd on kids sci-fi flick Clockstoppers as well as syndicated action series Adventure, Inc.  This will be my...6th time seeing The Terminator on the big screen?  And you can bet your ass I'll be leading the applause when Biehn's credit comes up.

A week after The Terminator on Friday, 10.24, The Egyptian hosts another Arnold infused special event, this time with a screening of Predator as part of Dammaged Goods' night with special guest Carl Weathers.  The seminal macho "men on a mission" flick/sci-fi thriller from John McTiernan and Joel Silver sports a terrific cast along with the Oak including Weathers, Bill Duke, Jesse Ventura, Sonny Landham and Shane Black.  Part action movie, part 50's alien invasion, part jungle nightmare, Predator has stood the test of time to become one of Arnold's and the genres most beloved and quoted films.  An Arnold-less sequel, 2 crossovers with Aliens and a reboot/sequel have yet to equal the original in terms of quality or box office.  A new sequel is in development at Fox courtesy of writer/director Shane Black that is rumored to include Arnold's character Dutch.  Carl Weathers will join us for a Q&A where we'll discuss his work on Predator as well as other memorable roles in the Rocky series, the Joel Silver produced Action Jackson, Happy Gilmore and Arrested Development.

Now everyone say it with me..."Get to the choppa!"

Fall Flicks: Gone Girl

Following his directorial debut Gone Baby Gone, The Town and Argo, early Fall Flicks seem to be Ben Affleck's new sweet spot with the massive opening of Gone Girl.  Taking in an estimated $38 million clams, the $60 million-ish crime thriller has been liked by critics more than the audiences who gave it a B Cinemascore.  The opening sets a record for director David Fincher whose credits include Alien 3, Seven, Fight Club, The Game, The Social Network and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.  Based on a best selling novel by Gillian Flynn, Girl continues the redemption of the probably a cool guy in real life Affleck who struggled with professional and personal woes 10 years ago.  I personally enjoyed Daredevil, Paycheck and parts of Gigli but that whole J. Lo thing was kinda weird...  Gone Girl is the tale of Nick Dunne (Affleck) and his wife Amy (Rosamund Pike, The World's End, Jack Reacher).  On the day of their anniversary, Amy goes missing from their small town outside St. Louis, Missouri.  Nick quickly calls the cops but as revelations are brought to the table and the media begins to take sides, the seemingly innocent husband becomes the top suspect.  We see the beginnings of the relationship told through diary narrated flashbacks via Amy that become more and more dark in tone leading us to wonder if Nick actually had something to do with Amy's disappearance or maybe even killed her.

What follows is a well crafted, acted, funny and at times fucked up tale of what it means to be married in the modern age.  Affleck does an excellent job as the loafing schlub of a husband and as the increasingly irritated, maybe he did it, not so nice guy husband.  Pike's wide eyes and blank face are put to good use as the sweet yet commanding Amy whose marriage isn't what she expected or is willing to accept.  Kim Dickens and Patrick Fugit are the local cops with one looking for the truth and the other believing Nick killed his wife.  Tyler Perry shows up as a high dollar lawyer and Neil Patrick Harris plays Amy's mysterious ex.  Both the writer/director and former television star do solid jobs.  Music video siren Emily Ratajkowski shows up in a small role and reminds us why she's famous in the first place.

Like all of Fincher's films, Gone Girl exists in it's own world.  It's not as dark or seedy as Seven, Fight Club or The Game and in fact, I think that's part of the reason I didn't all out enjoy the flick.  It's satisfying as a film but not very fulfilling as an experience?  It just seems like Fincher light.  The Social Network somehow made a movie about Facebook riveting and scenes of programming a website exciting.  Girl With the Dragon Tattoo had one of the best trailers of all time but delivered a pretty unmemorable flick that I haven't thought of since leaving the theater.  Gone Girl continues that slide as we're out in middle America suburbia with some very familiar beats (media skews info, Missourians are hicks, Nick isn't the guy we thought, etc).  Sure there's twists, turns, reveals, bloodshed and WTF moments but to me it just felt like a Lifetime movie of the week only executed really, really well.  Maybe that's how Flynn's novel plays out and Fincher purposely turns the early flashbacks of Nick and Amy's courtship into saccharine, perfect moments out of a middle school romance novel but the whole movie feels like some kind of big joke almost or an experiment of what happens when A-List talent tackles a movie of the week concept.

With Fincher's big budget adaptation of Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea cannon balled due to budget concerns, here's hoping he goes back to something more interesting like Seven, Fight Club or The Game.  And Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms, yo!

Workout of the Day: Van Dammage

With Arnold night, Jean-Claude Van Damme's birthday and An Evening with Carl Weathers stacked up in October, I've got to keep The Pump on to honor my shidoshis.  Of course, JCVD's physicality has been an inspiration to me since I first saw Bloodsport on TBS as a wee lad and continue to admire his dedication to keeping fit through the years without ever veering into fatass-ness a la Steven Seagal or freaky pharmacy cabinet-ness of Sylvester Stallone.  As a teenager, Van Damme was a self described "skinny runt" and was practicing karate for hours a day and running miles upon miles.  That gave him endurance but his coach Claude Goetz instructed the young man that he needed strength and resistance to be able to deliver knock out blows.  By age 18, his father described him as "Tarzan" and the high school drop out soon opened his own fitness mecca dubbed California Gym.  Young Van Damme weighed in at over 200 pounds of well developed and proportioned flexible mass.  Hitting Los Angeles in his early 20's, JCVD worked odd jobs like laying carpet, delivering pizza and driving a limo while training at 4:00 or 5:00AM at Gold's Gym in Venice 4 days a week.

After the success of Bloodsport, Van Damme showed off an extremely beefy yet lean, vascular and defined body in Kickboxer.  I'm sure the sweltering heat and constant sun helped tighten him up while Van Damme said he trained his entire body 3 times a week during shooting.  Throw in hours of martial arts training and choreography, Kickboxer might just be Van Damme at his physical peak.  By the early 90's when Hollywood started calling, Van Damme dropped down into the 170's which was arguably a better fit for his 5' 8" frame but his huge biceps and shredded shoulders were always on display.  Genetically never a mass monster like Arnold, Van Damme was content with building up his own naturally impressive frame with broad shoulders without bulky traps, bulging biceps, clearly identified brachialis, striated triceps, a wide yet not too mountainous chest, chiseled abs and a V taper into a tiny waist.  No chicken legs here either as years of ballet, karate and squats produced muscular quads and a derriere that audiences would be very familiar with.

Training wise, Van Damme approached weights in typical bodybuilding fashion, pairing opposite muscle groups like Chest and Back, Biceps and Triceps, etc followed by cardio and karate.  A typical session during the glory days was said to take upwards of 2-3 hours.  Always one for supersets, a JCVD chest/back workout would usually include Bench Press, Chins, Flys, Rows and Pullovers while arms would get swelled doing Preacher Curls, Dips, Concentration Curls and Triceps Extensions.  Squats, Leg Press and Extensions kept the leggy legs strong while Shoulder Presses and DB Raises kept his delts wide and defined without becoming overly large.  Reps were done deliberately with a controlled tempo to really feel the muscles working.  All that running and karate isn't too easy on the knees so you'd usually find Van Damme on an exercise bike after training or in the morning before breakfast.  On the set of Universal Soldier, Van Damme and co-star Dolph Lundgren each had a trailer gym on location to work out in.  Between takes, they would pump up for the camera much to the timing/logistical nightmare of director Roland Emmerich.  Out in the remote desert on Legionnaire, Van Damme and friend/co-star/kickboxing champ Dida Diafat kept in shape with a makeshift gym consisting of a Chin Up bar, Dumbbells and lawn chairs where Van Damme would perform variations of push ups and dips.  For In Hell, Van Damme could be spotted doing push ups between set ups to keep the blood flowing.  Long has Van Damme teased fans with a workout video that could be done outside of a gym using a few sturdy chairs to assist in push ups, dips and squats along with isometric exercises to work the muscles and heart with no impact on joints.  No sign of it yet though.

Eating wise, Van Damme seems to be one of the lucky few who can partake in a high carb diet and not have it go to his gut.  A big plate of pasta with salmon was a favorite after training meal while simple fare like oatmeal, fruit, lean chicken and protein shakes filled his day.  Taco Bell was a delicacy in his starving days.  In the 2000's, Van Damme went nearly vegetarian and appeared a slimmer, very defined shadow of his former self consuming rice, beans, vegetables and maybe a fish dinner once a week and telling surprised friends he was healthy, not skinny.

On this Saturday morning I continued my Circuit starting day where I got in Kettle Bell Swings, Chins, Push Ups, Machine Rows, DB Pullovers, 1-Arm Preacher DB Curl and Larry Scott JM Press 3 times through followed by forearms, calves, neck, lower back and cardio.  My next workout will be focused on legs followed by a Shoulders and Arms day then starting over.  Sometimes I'll take a day just to do cardio and go for a swim, row, Versa Climb, shadow box, jump rope, etc since all of those work the entire body.

No way will I be giving Carl Weathers a Predator handshake with weak pipes, so keep pumping!

Gotta Drank! Percy's and Co.

Nestled in the serene, cobbled streets of Ballard next to Hattie's Hat is a very cool neighborhood joint called Percy's and Co.  It's got an old style feel with an ornate wooden bar, brick walls and a patio in the back.  Lots of manicured mustaches and beards VS the shitty, 80's style ponytails I saw at Capitol Hill a couple days before.  Not that one is better than the other, I mean I'm sure this place fills up with Mumford and Sons/Edward Sharpe listening mother fuckers on a weekend night with their faux southern twang and warble sounding, ball-less, string strumming tunes eating lentil soup wearing plaid.  Their crafted cocktails and libations offerings were quite in depth and to help you find your new favorite they had a system of ordering where you selected sweet, sour or savory, a type of liquor and off you went with an adventurous beverage.  We snacked on some tasty chili-lime popcorn and kicked back with some deliciously smooth cocktails.  It was a beautiful day and their patio looked like a nice spot to relax.  Many bars in Seattle offer movies on the patio which I thought was a pretty cool idea.  This place was doing an Alfred Hitchcock retrospective through the summer.  Not sure if that would work in L.A. with all the noise and distractions. 

A real Southern Gentleman:

Gotta (maybe) Eat! Uncle Darrow's

A co-worker had a hankering for gumbo so we set off to check out Uncle Darrow's in Venice.  I'm not sure what'd you call it, Southern, Louisiana, Cajun style cuisine?  You had your Po Boy sammiches, gumbo, jambalaya, fried fish and beignets.  Located on the busy and annoying Lincoln avenue, there's spacious parking in the back that's free with validation.  We beat the lunch rush which was a good thing because this place is not set up for crowds.  I was torn between a soft shell crab Po Boy or just getting a mess of stuff on their Combo Platter Dinner.  The dinner won out and I got a plateful of fried oysters (delicious, big and tender), shrimp (tiny, chewy) and farm-fed catfish (light, not too heavy), potato salad, jambalaya and corn bread.  The fry coating made everything kind of taste the same but it was surprisingly not that heavy a meal considering most of it was deep fried.  As lunch goers started to arrive I ordered some beignets to go and that's where things went south for me and Uncle D, it took 20 minutes to deep fry some batter and hit it with powdered sugar when there were only 3 orders in front of us.  I noticed one of the cooks come out with a bag and figured it was mine as the cashier just let it sit there and didn't even tell me the order was ready.  I wonder if there's an H. Salt around here any place...

Whoever came up with Napoleon Bonafrog is a Got Damme genius:

Ask Me a Question: Halloween @ Beyond Fest

Beyond Fest keeps on kicking with no less than 3 screenings this past Wednesday night.  The centerpiece being a newly restored, 4K version of John Carpenter's seminal indie horror classic, Halloween!  Humans From Earth co-presented the festivities with Geoff Boucher on hand for the pre-film Q&A.  Another sold out crowd, we marked our territory in the balcony this time and hit neighboring Pig & Whistle for a couple of Jameson and Ginger Ales.  Since I had extra tix, I gifted them on some thankful dudes in the Stand-By line.  Inside, Death Waltz had even more vinyl for sale, including a re-mastered version of Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13 soundtrack.  As the theater quickly filled up, we were treated to some Beyond Fest pre-trailers that were awesomely hilarious.  One was a supercut of dummies filling in for humans falling or getting their heads chopped off.  The next was a riff on Queen's Another One Bites the Dust I believe with screams and handshakes filling in for the beat complete with Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell's epic high five over Teri Hatcher's head in Tango & Cash!  I nearly stood up and cheered.

American Cinematheque and BF programmer and creators Grant and Christian did some quick trivia and tossed out Halloween disks courtesy of Scream! Factory.  Boucher introduced Mr. Carpenter who introduced star Jamie Lee Curtis.  Apparently this is the first time the duo have ever attended a screening of the film together:

- 22 day schedule, $300,000 budget
- Curtis auditioned several times, liked Laurie's role because she got to do more than "be cute"
- Obtained entire wardrobe in one trip from J.C. Penny
- Curtis just remembers the film being fast and fun, young crew, everybody friends with someone else, for example Michael Myers was played by Carpenter's band mate in the Coupe DeVilles, Nick Castle, instead of a stuntman in later installments
- Carpenter didn't realize the film was doing well at first as it rolled out regionally with a few prints, by Christmas, knew it was cooking when some independent producers came to see him
- Most fun film Carpenter ever made as he was young, too dumb to know any better and hadn't been fucked over by the studios yet
- Doesn't mind remakes, it's just part of the deal, studios think audiences are too dumb to see anything original, of course he likes remakes that cut him a check VS ones studios own rights to
- Assault on Precinct 13, Carpenter could afford 1 day at a UCLA studio to create score, on Halloween could afford 3 days
- Curtis is very involved with charity, just got into conventions and made $150,000 in one weekend for her causes
- Auctioning off a replica of Michael Myers' bust signed by every member of the production team

The pair were very complimentary to each other, giving credit for inherent talent and future success.  Carpenter didn't drop his "gotta go see my drug dealer" line to close things out though.

I haven't seen Halloween since high school maybe when I got uber freaked out at a friends house due to all the windows someone could be looking at us through.  The great theme music starts things off in typical Carpenter fashion with credits over black screen, this time with a Jack-O-Lantern off to the side.  One night, young Michael Myers inexplicably stabs his sister to death.  15 years later, he's institutionalized and Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasance, The Great Escape) wants to keep him there forever, knowing the boy is pure evil.  When Michael escapes, Loomis deduces that he's most likely headed back to his childhood home which has become the local haunted house but is about to be sold by Strode Realty.  Young Laurie Strode goes to the house to drop the key off and soon, she and her friends become Myers' prey as he stalks them over Halloween night.

While over 30 years old, the flick holds up pretty well.  It's pretty funny and dated due to it's low budget stature, mostly inexperienced cast and whatnot but the atmosphere, chills and scares are still there.  Myers is not portrayed as a man but a force of evil so you just take his Boogeyman quality and accept it.  Many a horror flick would take cues from the flicks structure, characters and traits as Halloween went on to spawn 7 sequels over the next 24 years and then a reboot in 2007 that received it's own sequel.  Can't say I've seen a single one though...

The Monster Squad and Snowpiercer next!

Van Dammage: Behind Closed Doors

"I'm tired, I want some rest. I've been doing, how many movies now? I don't even know. I never count them, I never look at them. Been around the world for 20, 30, 40 times...seeing same hotels, getting older with me. They change the wall papers of the room but my face get more cripple..."
     Jean-Claude Van Damme

Believe it or not, a few years ago I was out of work with no clue what was coming next as a random temp job lead to a decent opportunity at a huge corporation for nearly 4 years.  That came to an end and I found myself struggling to figure out next steps.  But for 8 wonderful weeks in 2011, every Tuesday I'd have at least one constant in my life, Jean-Claude Van Damme's reality show, Behind Closed Doors.  Produced for the United Kingdom's ITV4, BCD followed the Muscles From Brussels as he jetted around the world making movies, meeting fans, playing with his dogs and just trying to relax while partying into the wee morning hours, training for a kickboxing match and speaking from his big heart.  Now, U.S. cable network REELZ will be broadcasting the series starting in October, coincidentally the month Wham Bam Van Damme entered the world. 

The first episode finds JCVD visiting a quiet church in his hometown of Brussels, Belgium, discussing the drive that saw him drop out of high school, take up karate, ballet and weights, move to America, struggle and eventually become one of the world's most famous movie stars.  The glory days of his career a distant memory, Van Damme's brand recognition is still enough to keep him headlining movies for the Direct to Video market made in Eastern Europe.  His two kids, Kristopher and Bianca join their famous dad while saving stray dogs.  Van Damme travels to Russia to film a cameo in a 3D comedy based on Napoleon, parties early into the morning then returns to Belgium to see his mother, father and half dozen dogs he's rescued from around the world.  It's a very intimate look into the life of a very famous person known for his professional, self-made accomplishments and personal, self-destructive antics.  After so many years of charming audiences with a boyish innocence mixed with muscular, martial arts fueled mayhem, it might be a shock to casual fans to see the modern Van Damme so sensitive and prone to tears.  But for anyone who has followed the Belgian Bomber through his career, it's that surprising mix of heart and physicality that makes him just a little more interesting than Arnold or Sly.

During shooting of the show, we watch JCVD work on movies like Weapon, Dragon Eyes and Kung-Fu Panda 2 while trying to get healthy for a proposed kickboxing match with Thai Gold medalist boxer Somrak Khamsing.  Not discussed on the show is Van Damme's minor heart attack or complication.  The Muscles From Brussels looks a bit frail in some segments but a hilarious Christmas episode finds him in terrific shape as he puts his family and daughter's boyfriend through a holiday workout.  Van Damme regulars like writer/director Sheldon Lettich, longtime karate coach Claude Goetz along with Bloodsport and Double Impact co-star Bolo Yeung pop up in addition to recent co-stars Scott Adkins and Cung Le.  Action weirdos like me will spot fitness model and martial artist Julien Greaux along with 87Eleven fight choreographer Larnell Stovall training and auditioning daughter Bianca.

Showcasing his still worldwide appeal, Mr. Van Damme travels the globe, hitting up Vancouver, Hong Kong, Los Angeles, Paris, Russia, Dubai, Belgium and more filming cameos, commercials and meeting with local investor types looking to get into the Van Damme business.  During filming, Van Damme had received a request but not a script for Expendables 2 from Stallone and seemed determined to clean up his rock and roll lifestyle to get in shape for the fight to clean up his soul.  Cut to 3 years later, Expendables 2 has come and gone, heck, a third installment was just released in August.  One powerful scene shows Van Damme erupting in anger and sadness when he learns that the producers of the Bloodsport reboot don't want him involved.  That film probably isn't any closer to being produced than it was then. The fight with Khamsing never materialized and Van Damme has kept busy post EX2 with his first foray into comedy, Welcome to the Jungle and starred in well received commercials for Volvo, GoDaddy and Coors Light.  Another reality show, 360 World Tour, was teased but has yet to be broadcast.  Same goes for a years in the making workout video.  As for me?  I'm kicking ass and doing so well I almost can't live with myself.  Wade Garrett style.