Hollywood! Road House

Had a childhood friend in town for the weekend so of course we had to Grip & Rip it up. Starting in Hollywood on St. Patrick's Day, I took him to the home of Dammaged Goods Presents, the historic Egyptian Theatre where we caught the second film of an awesomely 80's double feature of Dirty Dancing and Road House. Both star former dancer turned leading man Patrick Swayze, get it, St. Patrick's Day? The Saint of Cinema sadly passed away in 2009 but made his mark in films like The Outsiders, Red Dawn, these two flicks, Point Break and Ghost as a suave yet macho leading man.  I've always loved this film since seeing it as a kid. I mean come on it's basically a modern day western with boobs, booze and bust ups galore. Throw in a rocking soundtrack and plenty of what the crap moments like a blind singer, monster truck destroying a car dealer, sweaty tai chi, rough sex, bad guy wearing a razor on his boot, mullets on top of mullets, ripping a guy's throat out and Sam Elliott's pubes.

Directed by Rowdy Herrington and written by R. Lance Hill and Hilary Henkin, Road House was produced by the legendary Joel Silver who set out to the make the greatest Drive-In/B-Movie in history. And guess what, he succeeded! Behind the camera you have staples like composer Michael Kamen (Die Hard, Lethal Weapon), cinematographer Dean Cundey (Back to the Future) and a terrific cast wrangled by Jackie Burch (Predator). Swayze is legendary bouncer/cooler Dalton, a fighting philosopher with a degree from NYU who somehow manages to clean up dive bars making $500 a night but never winning a fight, in a spiritual sense. He's called in to tame The Double Deuce in Jasper, Missouri where he runs into local businessman and leader Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara) along with his band of thugs that includes Marshall R. Teague (The Rock), Terry Funk (Over the Top) and Anthony De Longis (Masters of the Universe). He also meets and knocks boots with local Doc (Kelly Lynch), the blondest, tannest ER doctor you've ever seen. At just under two hours, I forgot how much action was in this film. There's something like 9 fights here choreographed by kickboxing icon Benny Urquidez along with plenty of explosions and gunplay. And that Swayze is shirtless and smoking a cigarette for nearly the entire runtime.

About an hour in, Sam Elliot shows up as Wade Garrett, aging but still the best bouncer in the game. With his gravely voice, lean physique and mangy yet spectacular hair, Elliot's Garrett is a Got Damme cinematic role model who punches a guy in the dick to get Dalton out of trouble before trying to get his adopted little brother to leave town before things go too far with Wesley. Anyone who doesn't like top knots needs to watch this flick and check out Elliott pulling his hair back before mixing it up. After years of supporting roles in successful films, Road House was meant to be Swayze's star vehicle to the big time. Budgeted at around $17 million, the film would gross a respectable $30 million in 1989 and offer up a more female friendly action hero compared to emerging every-man Bruce Willis, insane Mel Gibson and the superhero one man armies of Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Jean-Claude Van Damme was still starring in low budget hits like Kickboxer and Cyborg while the CAA and Warner Brothers backed Steven Seagal was about to break out with Hard to Kill. Constant airings on cable would catapult Road House into a cult classic that ensured high ratings and a milestone title in the vast filmographies of all involved.

To introduce the film and hype Saturday's co-presentation of Silent Rage with Cinematic Void, we gave out a copy of the hit soundtrack featuring the Jeff Healy band and two songs sung by Swayze. The question? What film did Swayze drop out of co-starring opposite Sylvester Stallone to headline Road House? Tango & Cash!

Cinemarked: Sam Elliott and Road House

After experiencing the random good times of The Ranch Restaurant in Anaheim, I couldn't help but think it was like a modern version of 1989 classic Road House. While I own the awesome flick on VHS, regular and special edition DVD, Netflix was there for me and has it streaming. The tale of one Dalton (Patrick Swayze), "the best damn cooler in the business", a philosophizing, karate fighting guy who cleans up ornery bars and makes a cool $500 a night with $5,000 up front. He's enlisted to clean up the Double Deuce in Jasper, Missouri where blood and eyeballs are swept up every night. Training the staff to handle any situation without losing their cool, Dalton soon runs into Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara), the local top dog and man in charge complete with army of monster truck driving, knife boot wearing, store terrorizing, former convict thugs. Outgunned, Dalton's long haired, gravelly voiced, chopper riding mentor Wade Garrett shows up to lend a helping and punching hand, played by mutha fudging Sam Elliott.

While Rowdy Herrington's Road House was a Patrick Swayze starring vehicle following the massive success of Dirty Dancing, Elliott's Garrett is just too Damme cool. The lanky and usually mustached actor has come to represent an iconic image of the American West thanks to roles in Tombstone, The Big Lebowski and a slew of TNT westerns; Elliott himself has stated numerous times that he's most recognized for Road House. And why shouldn't he be? He's awesome! From his mangy hair and scruff to his limp reflecting a wild life while being the voice of reason without preaching, Garrett is one of action cinemas most interesting characters. Garrett fills in some of Dalton's back story, (he'd fallen in love with a married woman who didn't mention a husband, a husband who put a gun in Dalton's face then got his throat ripped out) and encourages Dalton to leave town because he doesn't want to see his little brother/son/friend get hurt or killed. Elliott gives David Lee Henry and Hilary Henkin's script a cool and easy going gravitas, making lines like "cut it the fuck loose" and "I ain't gonna show you my dick" into memorable exchanges 20 some years later while giving each confrontational scene a light hearted segue because he wants a beer.

Fight choreographer Benny "The Jet" Urquidez studied each actor's physical movements and fashioned their fighting styles after animals. Swayze was a cat, villain Jimmy (Marshall Teague) was a mongoose while Elliott's Garrett was a bear who lumbered, scraped and tore through his opponents. Swayze showcased his dancer's background and flexibility with kicks high, low and spinning galore while Elliott did more straight punching and kneeing. Surprisingly, Elliott did not enjoy the gratuitous violence and sexism of the modern day western where women were basically there to get naked or cry while fight scenes still pack a violent punch all these years later with stabbings, broken limbs, bodies flying through windows and more than a few grisly deaths. Super producer Joel Silver set out to make the greatest Drive-In Movie of all time and had originally approached Elliott for the villain role, which he turned down before signing on to play the mentor.

Budgeted at a healthy $15 million bucks, Road House earned nearly $6 million dollars opening weekend back in May of '89. A $30 million gross wasn't bad but was less than half of Dirty Dancing's. The film was not lauded for it's violence and depiction of women and is seen as a bit of a guilty pleasure or camp classic. Road House was a big hit on video then cable where programmers used the title to boost rating at any given moment. I must have seen it on TBS as a kid and have  always loved the film for being so macho, ridiculous and entertaining while keeping a straight face. There's already a ton of action in the piece but apparently the original cut ran nearly three and a half hours. Now there's a rough cut I'd love to see. While fans mention Road House when they meet Elliott, he never played a similar role to Wade Garrett again, mostly sticking to military or sheriff types in Tombstone, We Were Soldiers, Hulk and many TV movie westerns. A remake of Road House was announced a couple years ago with Fast and Furious director Rob Cohen slated to helm. Now if we could just get a Wade Garrett origins spin off...

Gotta Eat! The Ranch Restaurant

After Saturday's show we headed out into Anaheim to do a little exploring. A friend had told us about the Packing District in downtown, where refurbished historic structures were now home to modern restaurants and live music along with a view of Disneyland's fireworks. After a day of walking the expo, the place was just too much of a scene reminiscent of a crowded mall food court and we had to bail. Up the street was the Promenade but again, had only some frou frou and fancy looking joints hocking organic junk food or oysters. We're simple folk, The Lazy Dog Cafe suits us fine so Yelp helped me find The Ranch Restaurant and off we went. I'm glad the Packing District didn't work out, otherwise we would have never had such a randomly good time at The Ranch. Pulling up to an office building, we were greeted by the sight of two different establishments, the Restaurant and the Saloon. Not looking to break the bank on a steak, we were there to check out the bar. Security was surprisingly heavy and asked if I was carrying any knives or weapons which caught me extremely off guard.

Inside the place was dark and constructed from wood. There was a $5 cover charge but we soon learned that a band was playing. Sidling up to the bar we watched as an instructor took patrons through basic line dancing and there were more than a few folks wearing Stetsons and cowboy boots. I didn't feel too out of place though as there were several Asians and Mexicans around. The staff was excellent; funny, attentive and cordial, cracking jokes at people who couldn't handle their beer and complimenting me on my awesome Captain America shirt. I still couldn't get over the locale as we were in Anaheim, former home of Orange groves, for a Disney convention, sitting in the bottom of a Class A office building that housed a Saloon where people were wearing cowboy gear and line dancing. The live band was solid and I couldn't help but think I'd stumbled into a modern version of Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliot classic, Road House. The film was shot in Anaheim back in the 80's even. I was hoping the band would play one song from the movie (Jeff Healy Band, Bob Seger, Cruzados) to cement our surreal evening but it was fun watching people dance, chatting with locals and hearing the band play.

The Ranch is famous for their 3lb Bone-In Rib Chop, that's the meat weight minus fat and bone so the whole thing is close to 5lbs! Photos of the meal are ridiculous and I was sad no one around us was taking the challenge. Our Prime Rib sammich and Chicken Tenders were really good though. As were our Jameson cockatils. Several of my Orange County friends commented that they loved the joint so I'm glad we randomly chose so well. See you down the road, mijo.

Hey Dalton: Nice

 

"I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice."

     - Patrick Swayze as Dalton, Road House

They say nice guys finish last.  While not completely true, there is a bit of truth in the statement.  People usually respond to challenges and negativity while taking consideration and politeness for granted.  I've always been a nice guy with a low bullshit tolerance so people either think I'm great or an angry asshole.  This past weekend I ran into several unhappy people; a loud mouth at the movie theater, an in a bad mood comic book shop worker and a less than happy to be alive or at work cashier at the grocery store.  Through their unhappiness, I rediscovered one of my life outlooks that Arnold and Dalton taught me, Smile and Be Nice.  Now I'm not talking about being a punching bag, I'm talking about being nice to make people realize they're being assholes or to genuinely express your gratitude.  I want people to see me having such a great time and life that they're either A) Inspired to make their lives better or B) Realize how much of a piece of shit they are. 

Why do this?  Because I can.  I have a great life and I'm not so self important or insecure that I need to try and make people feel poorly if I'm in a bad mood.  But I'm also not here to be a stepping stone, so if you come at me with negativity, I'll do my very best to throw it back in your face with a smile.  Remember, nobody can call you a jerk if you're smiling, it's physically impossible.  Without self respect and personal standards you might as well just count yourself among the common, shitty people.  But I believe in you, so be a doer!

Live Goods: Point Break

From Anthony Hopkins to Hugh Jackman to Daniel Craig, some of today's film best actors began their careers on stage.  For some reason I've never really liked plays too much.  I've seen a few big ones like Cats and Wicked as well as some small ones in black box theaters to support friends and a few in between.  As a film kid in college I crossed paths with the theater department regularly, while some were enjoyable humans many were just loud and obnoxious.  It didn't help that I was forced to see a production of Pirates of Penzance for a class where I couldn't understand a fucking word of the sing song performances.

In exactly one month I'll take in Hugh Jackman's one man show at the Dolby Theater in Hollywood.  To warm up, I attended a small show on Theater Row in West Hollywood.  One that was three years in the planning stages before finally attending for a bachelor party, an adaptation of 1991's Point Break.  Before she broke new ground with The Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty, director/writer Kathryn Bigelow gave us one of the greatest action/buddy/thriller's of the last twenty years.  Rookie FBI Special Agent Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves) is fresh to Los Angeles and assigned to bank robbery where a band of President mask wearing thieves has hit dozens of establishments and never been caught.  A theory that the Ex-Presidents are a band of surfers sends Utah to the beach where he meets wave and zen master Bohdi (Patrick Swayze, from Road House?!).  Action, chases, extreme sports, meatball subs, Gary Busey, cold pizza, Narco entrapment, random crazy naked lady attacks and bromance ensues.

The stage play version, dubbed Point Break Live! is a continuation of parody performances of Road House and now Terminator where an audience member plays the lead and reads off cue cards.  It's a fun concept with food and drinks available before and during the show so you can make an evening out of it.  The first two rows are subject to being sprayed with water, fake blood and other artificial bodily fluids so they make extra money by selling ponchos.  The performers interact with the audience frequently in kind of an uncomfortable way if you're not expecting it.  I had the impulse of yelling "get your fucking hands off me" but remembered it was just part of the show.  Overall it's a fun night and definitely a memorable experience that only Los Angeles would have thought up.

Here's some of Bigelow's gift for intense kinetic action, just missing some screaming:

24 Hours: Tango & Cash (24th and 3rd) Anniversary

Movies.  Anniversaries.  Movie anniversaries.  Movies as anniversaries.  That's how this crazy weekend got started.  A weekend that would include 5 movies at 3 venues in 24 hours.

12:01 AM, Saturday, 5.18...

You see, three years ago a local Los Angeles theater played a Sylvester Stallone triple feature of Cobra, Tango & Cash and Cliffhanger.  Randomly, I met a fellow Stallone fan and her friend at the event.  Cut to today, we're all still seeing movies together and celebrated our anniversary at a midnight screening of 1989's Tango & Cash at The Cinefamily's Heavy Hitter Midnites series.

Who programs movies like this?  Why, the same action movie connoisseur who programmed it three years ago!  He's a huge fan of action movies and absolutely loves Tango & Cash in a passionate, non-ironic way.  Which is the best way to love anything because it's real.  I actually overheard some clowns (at another theater) talking about paying to see Star Trek Into Darkness just so they could rip it apart ((This is why people still make fun of genre and pop culture fans because some of them are self haters.) You know what's really cool?  Being cool with yourself.)

Apparently, Warner Brothers does not have a copy of T&C in their vault so tonight's 35mm print was provided by a private collector within The Academy Film Archive.  Surprisingly there were at least a dozen members in the audience who had never seen the flick before.  Get ready for a surprise!

If you haven't seen this movie by now, I'm not going to try to convince you to.  Just know that it's awesome and ridiculous at the same time.  It concerns two of Los Angeles' top cops, Detective Ray "Armani with a badge" Tango and Gabriel "eats burritos and wears boots that fire bullets" Cash played by messrs Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell.  They're set up by a powerful crime syndicate headed by mice lover/sniffer Jack Palance (You.  Are.  My number one...Guy!) and James Hong (Lo-Pan!).  The duo have to escape a corrupt prison, fight the clock and blow up a warehouse to clear their names.  Hilarious, homo erotic, big haired, cross dressing, car chasing, back seat humping, gun shooting, fist fighting, RV from Hell-ing, 80's synth-scored hijinks ensues.

I forgot how many familiar faces line the cast.  Beyond Stallone, Russell, Palance and Hong you get pre-Lois and Clark Teri Hatcher, Brion James (Steel Dawn), Geoffrey Lewis (Double Impact, JCVD as twins alert!), Philip Tan (Surf Ninjas), Michael J. Pollard (I Come In Peace), Edward Bunker (cameos in Best of the Best I & II), Michael Jeter (The Green Mile) and the Face himself, Robert Z'Dar!

The chemistry between Stallone and Russell is great and they both look like they're having a good time between the constant ribbing and unrelenting action.  Stallone wasn't bromantic with Arnold yet so there's a few zingers tossed at the Austrian Oak.

It would be interesting to hear some of the stories behind this weirdly funny action movie as credited director Andrei Konchalavskiy was replaced towards the end of production by Albert Magnoli (Nash Bridges!) as the producers didn't like the serious tone he was going for.  It's said that Patrick Swayze was originally set to play Cash but dropped out to headline 80's "philosophical karate bouncer" classic Road House.  Stallone had original Director of Photography Barry Sonnenfeld fired because he wasn't being lit to satisfaction.  The budget swelled as production problems arose and is said to have hit $55 million.

Nevertheless, the movie ended up being a Top 20 grosser in 1989, Russell's biggest hit behind Backdraft and Stargate and a top 10 for Stallone.

It was a fun night and start to my crazy Saturday.  So how about that sequel?

Until then, check out some of the best programming in Los Angeles (Van Damme Triple Feature, come on!) at http://www.cinefamily.org/films/heavy-hitter-midnites/

Check out this great "bad cop, worse cop" bit: